


Homequarters

by Lawgirlalways



Category: Nikita (TV 2010)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst, Drama, Family, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Healing, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Multi, Romance, Spies & Secret Agents, Team as Family, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:55:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 100
Words: 169,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23477329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lawgirlalways/pseuds/Lawgirlalways
Summary: One shots about Team Nikita and their found family.
Relationships: Michael Bishop/Nikita Mears, Sean Pierce/Alexandra Udinov, Seymour Birkhoff/ Sonya (Nikita 2010)
Kudos: 13





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sometime in season 2. Inspired by my quarantine rewatch of Nikita and wondering about honeytraps and birth control.

She just had to make it to the end of the hallway. That was the only thing keeping her going, past the pain, past the blood rushing out of her body. The end of the hallway was her salvation. It led to relief, rest, and comfort. Her body wasn’t following her orders, however. Her head swam, her skin burned, and her stomach churned. Breathing had become difficult. It felt like she couldn’t fill her lungs with enough air. 

Not even halfway through the hallway, she stumbled, resting against the cool wall. The contact soothed her seared cheek. Her eyes fluttered closed involuntarily. She could stay like this for a while; it was a reprieve. Her body seemed to stop screaming in pain and discomfort for a second. Maybe if she got off of her feet, slipped down to the ground, laid against the cold wall and floor, the horrible experience would all be over.

Her eyes shot open. She couldn’t give up. She had to make it to the end of the hallway. With a sweaty palm, she shakily pushed off of her support. Her feet continued her shuffle, her body bent over as the pain resumed. It was slow going, but she could make it; she had to make it.

“Nikita?” A quiet, sleepy voice floated after her. She ignored it. She was almost there.

Footsteps quickly caught up to her, and strong hands gripped at her arms. The heat of his hands felt strangely cold to her scorched skin. But the touch made her dizzy. Her ears rang, and bile jumped up her throat. 

“Nikita, what is it? Are you okay?” Michael’s voice fought through the ringing, full of concern and fear.

Normally his presence soothed her, made her feel better despite everything. Yet Nikita was on autopilot. She simply nodded her head and pushed away from him. She managed to pick up her shuffling pace as she reached her destination. She was there, the end of the hallway. All Nikita had to do now was cross the open area between the living room and the kitchen. The pain would finally go away, and she could go back to sleep.

Michael wasn’t one to go away easily though. He reached for Nikita again, following her slow trek. He was able to track the line of her determined sight; she was headed for the Advil left on the kitchen counter. He sighed, understanding, “Here.”

Nikita thought she was falling for a moment. Her body had finally given up on her, as the pain and dizziness brought her down. It was Michael, however, picking her up and carrying her to the couch. He placed her gently on the cushions, lovingly brushing her wild dark hair out of her flushed and pale face, “Just lay down. I’ll be right back.”

Although she would prefer to lay on the wooden floor, knowing its chill would appease her fevered body, she couldn’t bring herself to get back up. Nikita’s eyes once more closed on their own, and she turned to her side. Her lower abdomen was appreciative as she curled tightly into herself. The cramps dulled in their intensity. Her breathing was still laboured, but in the wide open living room the air seemed to finally reach her lungs.

The microwave hummed in the kitchen behind her, probably warming a heating pad. She could hear Michael fumbling around for a water bottle in the fridge. Soon after came the sound of the pain reliever rattling. If her head wasn’t pounding, and if she wasn’t so focused on evening her breathing, Nikita would’ve smiled at his kind actions.

“Oh no,” Alex’s voice filled the space. To Nikita she sounded wide awake, like she wasn’t asleep when she had heard the noises drawing her there, “You’re gonna need the strong stuff for her.”

Alex’s footsteps faded into the kitchen. The shaking bottle sound was replaced with pills being popped out of their packaging, “Midol’s your best defence against these cramps. Trust me,” Alex’s voice was sure from experience.

Michael breathed a laugh, “Believe me, I do.”

The microwave beeped, and its contents were removed. Michael and Alex crossed to Nikita, who had- against her will- emitted a slight moan of pain. Michael crouched in front of her, lightly skimming his thumb along her burning pale cheek. She managed to open her eyes to see worry in his, “Think you can sit up a bit?”

Nikita nodded, weakly pushing herself up. Michael was there to help, holding her steady. Handing over the Midol and an open water bottle, he sat next to her on the couch. Nikita took the medicine, and a couple more sips of water for good measure, then followed her body’s order to lay back down. Her head now rested on Michael’s lap, and she sighed in contentment.

Before Nikita’s eyes closed again, Michael took her water and Alex pressed a heating pad to her lower abdomen. The young woman’s hand soothingly ran up her friend's arm, squeezing her defined bicep, “You can’t get cramps at a normal hour?”

Nikita’s mind flashed back to a couple of years before, when Alex had woken from a nightmare in the middle of the night only to find her friend almost passed out on the floor from pain. Nikita smiled slightly, repeating her words from that night, “Mother Nature hates me.”

Michael and Alex chuckled quietly. Alex moved to sit in the chair near the couch, while Michael got Nikita to drink more water. They settled into a comfortable silence, only broken by Nikita’s harsh breaths she was slowly getting back under control. Michael absentmindedly played with his girlfriend’s hair, while Alex stared at the two with a fond expression on her face. 

Michael was the one to notice the staring, and glanced at the young woman, “Did we wake you up?”

“Mhmm?” She was ripped out of her thoughts by the question, “Oh. No. I was already awake.”

Michael nodded sympathetically in response. Ever since coming back from Russia, Alex’s nightmares had violently resurfaced. Sometimes she could settle herself, and fall back to sleep on her own. Other times she’d come into Michael and Nikita’s room, crying and shaking. Nikita would then immediately leap out of bed and comfort her.

“Well, since we’re all up, we could talk about it,” Michael suggested gently. Alex had to come to the decision herself, but Michael still extended the invitation. They were there for her, if and when she needed them.

There was a pause, as Alex thought it over. But she never got the chance to say whether she wanted to or not. Birkhoff rushed into the room, heading straight for his computer. He was on one of his many tablets, grinning flirtatiously, “I’m about to get on right now. Then we can see each other more clearly.”

The lewd tone of his voice caused Nikita to internally roll her eyes, “Gross, Nerd.”

Birkhoff stopped abruptly in his tracks. He glanced over, noticing Michael’s and Alex’s eyes on him. They were both annoyed, yet also kind of amused by his antics. He stammered in surprise, “What are you guys doing up?”

“Dying,” Nikita responded flatly. She shifted her position, getting more comfortable. Her breathing had finally evened, but her eyes remained closed.

“What?” Birkhoff dropped the tablet and rushed to his friends, panic wild in his eyes. Alex couldn’t help the laugh that erupted out of her. 

Michael rolled his eyes, “She has cramps. Bad ones, yes. But not enough to kill her.”

Birkhoff was confused. He stood in the living room, trying and failing to fully understand what was happening, “What kind of cramps?”

“Menstruation,” Alex clarified, using the same ‘how dumb are you’ inflection Birkhoff usually had when he explained his tech.

“You’ve never had cramps before,” Birkhoff’s attention was on Nikita. She pressed the heating pad tighter to her abdomen.

“I always have them. They're just usually not this bad,” Michael stroked Nikita’s cooling cheek at the confession. He conveyed all his love and support through the soft caress of his fingers.

Birkhoff continued his interrogation, not satisfied with the answers given to him, “Even at Division?”

“Why are you so interested in my girlfriend’s period, Birkhoff?” Though Michael’s tone was serious, a smile pulled at his lips.

“Well it’s just…” He attempted.

His smile growing, Michael cut him off, “What? You spend so much time ogling women online, you forgot what it’s like talking to a real one?”

Nikita and Alex laughed as Birkhoff huffed, “I’m curious alright. I’ve never seen her like this before.”

Alex took pity on the helpless man, and decided to help him out, “Division likes to keep their female recruits and agents full of birth control. No menstruation, no problem.”

“And no honeytrap babies,” Nikita’s voice dripped with acid on the word ‘honeytrap’. Michael squeezed her shoulder reassuringly.

Birkhoff moved to sit in a chair, mulling over the new information, “I thought you were just given condoms in the mission packets.”

“Well that too,” Michael agreed.

The poor tech nerd kept asking after a moment of silence, “Then why don’t you go out and get birth control now?” 

It was Alex’s turn to roll her eyes, “You need a prescription.”

“Seriously, man, talk to a real woman,” Michael wasn’t joking as much anymore.

Nikita’s soft laughter broke up whatever Birkhoff was about to throw back at Michael. She opened her eyes, looking at her friends mischievously, “Do you think Percy buys the condoms himself?”

There was a moment of hesitation as Michael, Alex, and Birkhoff caught up with Nikita’s train of thought. But soon laughter filled the space as they pictured Percy in his perfect suit and stern expression pushing a cart, browsing for condoms. Nikita shifted to look at Michael. He gazed down at her smiling eyes, full of love and amusement. Nikita grinned brightly, “I’ve always wondered if they were bought for quality or comfort.”

“Knowing Percy, they were bought for cheapness,” Flashing his trademark smirk, he replied.

Alex fought for control over her bubble of giggles, “I bet he buys in bulk. He just pushes all of the condoms into his cart.”

The room was filled once more with joyful laughter. The friends continued their jokes, starting with one subject then rapidly jumping to another. Eventually, Nikita was able to sit upright, and forgo the heating pad. She kept herself tucked into Michael though, who held her close. He even stole a sip from her water bottle, earning a playful punch and jokes at his expense- mostly from Birkhoff. They ended up staying awake far later than any of them had originally planned. Yet, it was worth it. Their spirits were lightened, nightmares were forgotten, and the tasks they knew they had to perform once the sun rose were put on the back burner. All that mattered was the joyous moment they had right then. Nikita, Michael, Alex, and Birkhoff had fun with one another, stress and worry free, despite how the night started. They deserved the peace.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Somewhere in season 2. Inspired by that TikTok trend.

In hindsight, Michael probably shouldn’t have taken any ideas from Sean Pierce. They were two different men, in two different relationships, and in love with two different women. He shouldn’t have expected the same results. But he did. And he entered into a world of hurt.

Sean and Michael were in the kitchen preparing breakfast for Alex and Nikita. The men thought it would be something nice and relaxing to do for the women, considering their missions of late. So, Michael had taken over preparing what he could cook best- pancakes- while Sean managed the rest. They hadn’t been cooking long, when they heard Nikita and Alex entering the beach house after their run. Their light voices and melodic laughter carried over to the kitchen, bringing bright smiles to Michael’s and Sean’s lips.

“Whatcha cookin’, Hot Stuff?” Drawn by the delicious smells, Nikita bounced over to her boyfriend; her dark ponytail swayed playfully with each step. 

“Hot cakes,” Michael flipped the fried dough in the pan with practiced eaze. Nikita’s eyes widened in surprise, and she gave him an impressed grin. Michael couldn’t help but puff up his chest with pride at her reaction. 

“Well keep ‘em warm for me while I shower, huh?” She kissed his scruffy cheek, before heading towards the bathroom. Michael watched her leave, letting his eyes drift down to her long, tights clad legs. Without losing a step, Nikita turned over her shoulder and gave him a wink. Michael laughed, returning his attention to the breakfast. 

Meanwhile, Alex was drinking some refreshing water while scrutinizing what Sean was doing. He splashed some milk into the egg pan, and started to scramble them with a fork. Alex was absolutely bewildered, “Did you just add milk to eggs?”

Sean didn’t look up from his actions, “It makes them fluffier.”

Alex didn’t believe him. She leaned in closer, her chest brushing up against his strong, sturdy arm. It was a brief moment, but Sean seemed to freeze at her touch. Soon the moment was gone, and he was back to scrambling.

“Are you gonna at least add some vegetables?” Alex continued to hover and backseat cook.

“If you don’t like what I’m doing, then you don’t have to eat it,” Sean smirked, finally turning to her. His smile and heart dropped, however, at just one glance at her bright, smiling, blue eyes. He couldn’t stop himself from staring at her.

Shrugging, Alex placed down her water bottle, “I’ll think it over as I change.”

And with that she left. Sean hopelessly followed her with his gaze. That time, it took him longer than a moment to collect himself. Although the kitchen fell into silence when it was just the two men cooking, Michael didn’t waste anytime breaking it. He poured out more pancake batter, smirking, “So what was that?”

“What was what?” Sean attempted to cover the slight raise in pitch in his voice.

Michael breathed a laugh. It was obvious that Sean had fallen hard for Alex. Michael and Nikita could see it clearly. Even Birkhoff made an occasional joke of it. The only two who had no idea what was going on were Alex and Sean. Shaking his head, Michael decided to let the man off the hook. Until, of course, he saw him mix vegetables in with the scrambled eggs.

“Oh, okay. That’s what’s what,” Michael said all too knowingly, flipping the last of the pancakes and stacking it on a plate with the others.

Sean wanted to refute the man’s claims, but he was stopped by the sounds of Alex coming back into the kitchen. He quit stirring in the vegetables, turned off the burner, and rushed to the fridge. Michael eyed Sean suspiciously, “What are you doing now?”

Quickly, Sean reversed the hoodie he was wearing so that it was backwards, yanked open the freezer, and pulled the hood up to cover his face, “I’m getting Alex back.”

“For teasing you?” But Sean didn’t reply to the question. He reached his arms behind him, appearing as if he were standing with his back to the room. Michael rolled his eyes. If he got Nikita back for everytime she teased him, he would never do anything else. Whatever worked for Sean, he guessed. 

Alex spotted the eggs and vegetables first, as she came into the kitchen. A mischievous grin etched its way across her features, “Guess I will be eating your breakfast.”

When Sean didn’t respond, Alex rolled her eyes, “So now you’re ignoring me. Real mature, Sean.”

She reached up to pull off the hood. Michael slowly realized what the prank Sean planned was, and moved to help him. A scared Alex was a deadly Alex. And Michael feared things were going to go south fast.

Alex yanked off Sean’s hood, expecting the back of his head. Instead, there was Sean’s face smirking proudly and shouting, “Boo!”

Her scream and punch happened at the same time, before Michael could get to them. But it was alright. Sean was ready for the flying fist and caught it easily. Michael relaxed as Sean laughed, and Alex glowered, “That’s not funny.”

“It’s a little funny,” Sean continued to laugh, and hold Alex’s hand. 

With a huff, the young woman pulled her hand away and stomped towards Michael, “I’m just gonna have pancakes.” She took the plate Michael had already prepared, crossing to the table full of fruit and other pancake toppings. 

“More eggs for me then,” Sean let her irritation roll off his back, switching around his hoodie and making his plate. With his back turned to her, Sean didn’t notice Alex glancing back at him, a small amused smile gracing her lips. Michael saw it though, and hid his own smile. They were so clueless. 

But more importantly, in that second Michael realized he could in fact get Nikita back for all her teasing. Sean’s prank was harmless, appeared fun, and Michael would know the hit was coming so he could block it. Sure, it might’ve seemed a tad cruel, yet Nikita had started it. She always started it. And after she had poured ice cold water on him during his shower the other day, he needed a way to retaliate. 

He didn’t want the risk of Alex eventually telling Nikita exactly how Sean scared her, so Micheal planned his prank for dinner that night. He and Nikita had already agreed to cook for everybody when they had gone grocery shopping earlier in the week- there were only so many times they could eat out, and they had crossed that limit. All Michael had to do was get Nikita out of the kitchen long enough to set up the prank, then the rest would come together. How he was going to do that, he wasn’t sure yet. He knew he’d think of something, though.

“Hey, Babe,” He drawled, stirring the sauce he was preparing. “Can you get my phone out of the living room?”

Nikita turned down the heat on the steaming water and pasta, “No,” but she went to do so anyway. Michael breathed a sigh of relief. He had come up with some excuse as to why he needed his phone, knowing Nikita would fight him on doing anything. This time, however, she must've come to her own conclusion and found it reasonable. That was a load off his mind.

Michael quickly put the rest of the plan in action. He opened the freezer, reversed his hoodie, pulled up the hood, and waited. Nikita’s light footsteps padded back towards the kitchen. He sensed her nearing him, but she didn’t stop to talk or hand him his phone. She just walked past. Confused and a tad disappointed, Michael continued to stand at the freezer contemplating his next move. Did he give up the prank, or wait for her some more, he couldn’t decide. Unfortunately, Nikita made the decision for him.

She paused in her trek, and turned back around. Michael couldn’t see it, but a wicked grin lifted the corner of Nikita’s lips. She drew back her arm, and gave her boyfriend a well-meaning playful smack on the ass. Well, what she thought was his ass. As her handler, Michael should've taught her how to pull her punches; a playful smack from Nikita was almost as strong as one of her blows.

Michael’s knees buckled in pain, and he fell to the floor. He was not proud of the slight yelp that erupted out of his mouth. Nikita gasped in shock, “Ohmygod, Micheal. Ohmygod, are you okay?”

He nodded, the hood falling off his face. Laughter bubbled to the surface despite the pain he was in. He had brought this upon himself. It was a surprise he expected the prank to go any differently. Nikita’s own laughter echoed his, as she crouched to his level. She gently placed her hands on the side of his face in an attempt to sooth him. But the two began to laugh harder as the ridiculousness of the moment crashed into them. Encased in giggles, their foreheads bumped, and their hands reached out to hold one another.

“You’re gonna let the food burn,” Birkhoff scoffed, walking into the kitchen to witness Michael and Nikita doing whatever it was on the floor. He had tried to escape Alex and Sean’s sexual tension in the living room, by coming to the kitchen. Little did he know, those two were having their own ‘what the hell’ moment. 

Grabbing an energy drink off the counter, Birkhoff rolled his eyes, “Love. Pshh.” 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set during Nikita's Division days, after her first kill mission. Inspired by some BS that happened my freshman year of college.

“Nikita, thank you. I don’t know what we would do without you.”

Her dark, brown eyes snapped open. It was no use trying to sleep, not when his voice kept ringing in her ears. Victor Han’s possible last words were playing over and over and over, “Nikita, thank you. I don’t know what we would do without you.”

She had destroyed a family. She gained their trust, and used it to kill a man- to kill an innocent man. He worked for the government, he was trying to protect the homeland. And that very organization killed him. Well, a black ops unit that operated way too much in the black did. She felt sick. Anxiety and nausea inched their way across her stomach, and her eyes watered. 

No, she couldn’t cry. She couldn’t show remorse or any other human emotion. If she showed how deeply the mission affected her, she wouldn’t be valuable. She’d be expendable, and everyone knew what happened to a recruit that had no use to Percy or Amanda. She needed to suck it up, push through and become a robot- like Michael appeared to be.

His name replaced her anxiety with anger. Michael. That no emotion, Percy following, son of a bitch. He knew killing an innocent man wasn’t justified. He knew what they did was wrong. But he’d follow Percy to the ends of the Earth, all because he saved his life.

Nikita sat up in bed, remembering the pain in Michael’s eyes as he had made that confession. There was a story there, she knew it. She also knew Michael hadn’t meant to share so much with her. It slipped out of him, like those smiles he gave her that pulled at the corner of his mouth and sparkled his green eyes. The same green eyes that looked at her with so much emotion and wanting as he had pinned her to the mat, and to the bed. Nikita swallowed hard.

It took her a moment to collect herself, and for the anger to come back. The bitter bile filled her with rage. She was furious with Michael. He made her complete the pointless mission. Though, the back of her mind nagged her, only so she could save the baby and herself. She pushed that thought away, swinging her long legs off of the cot. She was furious with Michael, with Division, and with herself. She shouldn’t be working with those people and their no questions asked, do as your told or else attitude. She needed to get out.

That wasn’t a possibility, however. So, Nikita settled for the next best thing. She ripped the stolen keycard out of its hiding spot in the crack in the wall, and stormed out of the room. The fact that she was barefoot and that it was well past curfew didn’t matter in the slightest. She was gone.

Where Nikita was headed though, was a mystery even to herself. She just wandered around the sterile dungeon, trying to push back the thoughts of Michael and Victor Han. But their words continued their assault on her mind. The only reprieve she felt was when she focused on the hum of Division instead. Although she managed to stop her livid, sorrowful thoughts with that hum, it couldn’t sustain her. It drove her mad, reminding her where she was. She was trapped, with no control or power. She was a pawn in a corrupt, vile game.

She eventually found herself outside of the locker room. Maybe she could take a cold shower, wash away the filth she felt. But before Nikita could put the plan into action, soft voices carried out of the room. She stopped in the entryway, hiding behind a wall. If it was security roaming around, she was screwed. Normally Nikita was extra careful about her movements whenever she broke any of Division’s asinine rules. Yet that night, she had been so very stupidly distracted.

The voices Nikita heard, however, did not belong to any security personnel; they belonged to two of her fellow recruits. Curious, she peered around the corner to catch a better look. Sitting on the floor backs against the lockers were Kara and Jill. They were practically on top of one another, secure and tight arms keeping their bodies incredibly close. Jill’s face was puffy and red, dried tears disfiguring her delicate features. Kara whispered soft words into Jill’s hair, a pained expression overcoming her. 

Nikita was intruding, but she couldn’t move from her spot. Kara and Jill had always intrigued her. The two were great recruits, learned fast and trained hard. They were also kind to the others when they needed to be, and their quips were often hilarious. The only fault Percy and Amanda could have possibly found in the pair was that they were too close to each other. 

Kara and Jill had become recruits at the same time Nikita had, and ever since then the two were inseparable. If Nikita was being honest, sometimes it took her a second to know which one was which; it was always the two of them. They ate meals together, trained together, learned together. They even spent their rare downtime together. In those moments, it was as though they were in their own world. Everytime Nikita witnessed them like that, heads bent together, fingers brushing, giggling at the other’s joke, she hid a small smile. It was endearing. And, truthfully, it gave Nikita hope. Hope in what, though, she wasn’t entirely sure.

Kara’s frantic and pained words brought Nikita back into the present situation, “Maybe we can beat this.”

“How?” Jill questioned, her voice tight with tears, “They know. They know and now we’re canceled.”

Shooting to her feet, Kara began to pace, “We’re not dead yet. That’s why Michael told us. We have a chance to do something.”

“What?” Jill was desperate. Fresh tears formed in her tired eyes.

“I don’t know. I don’t know,” Kara would stop and start her pacing, eyes wide and arms flying. She seemed to be attempting to reach some semblance of control. 

Her hair flailing around her, Jill shook her head vehemently. “Once Amanda has us hooked up to her machine…” Her voice dropped off. She didn’t have to finish the thought. They all knew there was no chance of lying to Amanda. Lie, and you die.

Kara glanced at Jill hopelessly. Her pacing had grown more manic as the reality of the situation weighed down on the two. Nikita couldn’t help herself. They looked so hopeless and distraught. She needed to make them feel better, see that strange hope that they brought her. She entered the locker room, clearing her throat, “You can tell half-truths.”

Two sets of panicked eyes snapped to Nikita. Kara was ready to pounce, and defend herself. Jill just pulled her knees into her chest tightly. Nikita put up placating hands, “You can beat Amanda’s machine with half-truths.”

Jill’s tears seemed to vanish as the lifeline appeared before her. Maybe she and Kara could live. But Kara only shook her head in defeat, “What does it matter? Someone ratted us out to Percy. We’re dead either way.”

Nikita didn’t have any reassuring words for that. Amanda talked a big game about Division being a family, and that they were always there for one another. However, the truth was that their little black ops group was full of vicious backstabbers. Most recruits believed it was them over everybody else. If they could get to the top by dragging someone else down, they would. Nikita distinctly remembered hearing about a recruit who had stolen another's work and threw it in the trash. No one had made a move to retrieve it. They all watched wordlessly and carelessly as the recruit got punished. He wasn’t canceled, luckily. But it probably wouldn’t have fazed the others if he had been.

“Then why did Michael tell us?” Jill questioned, “Why tell us if there’s no hope?”

Kara gazed at her girlfriend, a mixture of sadness and love in her eyes, “I don’t know.”

“So you can have one more night together,” Nikita responded softly. Kara and Jill glanced at her. A wave of understanding passed over the room. Jill stretched out her limbs, and Kara took a seat next to her, gripping her hand tightly. 

Nikita left them alone, forgetting the shower and her need to erase the voices in her head, and went back to the bedroom. She put the keycard in its hiding place, then moved to the cot. She felt more furious than she had when she couldn’t sleep. Victor Han, Kara, Jill, they were all innocent victims of Division’s evil game. Nikita hated that she was a part of it. That she had lied for it, and killed for it.

Reclining on the hard mattress, Nikita was resolute. She wouldn’t let the killing or lies turn her into an emotionless robot, like Percy, Amanda, Roan, Michael, and all those recruits who didn’t move a single muscle to help one of their own. She would have that happiness and lightness and goodness that Kara and Jill had- the happiness that brought her hope and that they were willing to die for. At least she could try to do so.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set between seasons 2 and 3. Inspired by some family dinners.

Nikita felt the familiar pull in her lower abdomen, and groaned in response. She shifted in Michael’s warm, heavy arms, trying to ignore the irritating pulse. It didn’t work. With an annoyed huff, Nikita sleepily pushed herself upright; Michael tried to keep her where she was.

“No. Sleep,” He mumbled, nuzzling into her hip.

Shoving his arms away, she sighed, “I have to pee.”

“Again?” Michael loosened his grip, and chuckled. His languid, smokey voice rumbled in the room. If Nikita didn’t have to pee so goddamn badly, she would’ve rolled him onto his back and kissed him thoroughly. Instead, she awkwardly climbed over him to get to their ensuite bathroom. She could’ve gotten out on her side of the bed, and walked around. But Michael teased her, she had to retaliate.

He grunted as Nikita’s weight pressed down on his side. Michael clumsily made a grab at her to stop, yet her lithe body escaped him and stumbled onto the floor. Flopping onto his back, he wiped a tired hand over his face, “Really?”

“Yes,” Nikita flipped on the blinding lights of the bathroom, and closed the door. It was her fault she had to keep making mad dashes to the toilet. Her stubbornness and pride forced her hand. She had to pay the price eventually.

Earlier that night, Nikita and Michael had all their friends over for dinner. They had just secured the lease on an apartment, and decided a family dinner was the perfect way to celebrate. Nikita couldn’t stop beaming at the thought. She and Michael had their own home, their own family. It was something she didn’t think she could have ever had- a boyfriend to love her, and siblings to annoy her. The fact that she had reached the seemingly unattainable goal filled her with so much joy she could hardly express it.

Alex was the first to accept the impromptu invitation, and rushed over with giant hugs and expensive wine for the others to drink. With cleanup duty all that was left of Division, and the Udinov trust readily accessible, Alex had gone on numerous shopping sprees. She dragged Nikita along with her multiple times, not that she was complaining. She needed new work clothes; she couldn’t debrief and go over mission plans in her underwear or workout gear anymore.

Birkhoff sullenly knocked on their door soon after. Michael, Alex, and Nikita had attempted to ask where Sonya was, but he not so gently brushed them off. To keep the mood of the night a happy one, they decided to drop it while offering the nerd sympathetic smiles and energy drinks. When Ryan and Sean eventually came around- they had been busy setting up operations- they were pulled aside and strictly told not to talk about Sonya. The two men had no idea what that meant, but going off of Nikita’s and Alex’s stern expressions they agreed. With their family safely arrived and the food prepared, the dinner commenced.

Michael and Nikita thought the best idea would be to set up a serve yourself kind of meal. The six of them had widely different tastes and preferences in food, as disastrously discovered when they had all lived together. So a dinner where they could make their own plate was the correct course of action. There were ramen noodles, steaming broth, grilled meat, colorful vegetables, and spicy peppers all to choose from. Alex gushed over the idea, relieved she didn’t have to eventually fight Birkhoff over what to eat. The tech, in an increasingly better mood, just dove into the food- as did Ryan and Sean.

Nikita found herself glancing at Michael, a loving amused grin pulling at her lips. He was already looking at her with the same expression- their family, their home. They shared a sweet, soft kiss before moving to make their own bowls. Nikita wasn’t paying too much attention to the amount of vegetables and peppers she was piling on her noodle soup. She was lost in the moment. Michael had begun to tease Ryan for his growing stubble. Alex picked food out of Sean’s bowl even though she had her own. And Birkhoff was rambling about the kind of security they should add to the apartment. Nikita’s smile grew.

“You grab enough peppers?” As she took a seat next to Michael at the table, he questioned her.

She shook herself out of her thoughts, eyeing her bowl. There was probably more spice than there needed to be. But there really wasn’t any going back at that point. “No,” Nikita grabbed her chopsticks, taking a giant bite. Oh it was a bad idea. The chilies and jalapeños immediately set fire to her tongue. She downed some sweet wine to recover.

“How’s ops looking?” Alex’s inquiry saved Nikita from Michael’s scrutinizing gaze. But judging by his trademark smirk, he had caught her slight discomfort.

Although Ryan made an attempt to answer the young woman, Sean interrupted, “No shop talk at dinner. We’re here to relax and eat free food.”

“Glad we could be of service,” Nikita covered her cough with sarcasm. The burn had made its way down her throat. She drank more wine, and followed that with a swig of water. She would not admit defeat. Not that trying to ignore the fire of her spicy food was a game. But the way Michael looked at her with his all too knowing green eyes, she felt as though she had to prove something. She didn’t add too many peppers. And she could handle any amount of spicy food, thank you very much.

“So what do we talk about?” Ryan wondered, giving Birkhoff a quick glance.

“Our lives outside of taking down a shadowy unit of the government,” Michael supplied, slipping his strong fingers between Nikita’s delicate ones. The couple shared another of their glances. Michael kept his bright eyes on her dark, brown ones while he took a bite of his spiceless food. He was daring her. Nikita took the challenge gracefully. It took all of her self control to battle back the tears that sprang up. Chugging water helped.

Birkhoff cleared his throat to get the two to quit whatever it was they were doing. Nikita and Michael turned their attention back to their friends shamelessly. Ryan blushed, feeling like he had just intruded on something. Sean rolled his eyes.

A small laugh bubbled past Alex’s lips, “You know I’m thinking of renting an apartment near here.”

“Really?” Excitedly, Nikita got up to pour herself more wine and water, “We can go on runs in the park together.”

“Or you can keep buying out every store in Manhattan,” Sean quipped around a bite of food. Alex elbowed him sharply, but her irritated glare was mixed with amusement.

“You guys wear suits all the time. We can’t wear dresses?” Alex defended with an encouraging nod from Nikita.

Pushing his empty bowl away, Birkhoff eyed the two women appreciatively, “You don’t hear me complaining.”

“Maybe you should,” Though there was a bite to his words, Michael flashed a small grin.

The nerd squirmed and pulled his eyes away. Studying the moment, Ryan came to a conclusion with a wry smile, “We should probably add sexual harassment training to the new Division.”

Laughter erupted in the room, even Birkhoff joined in. The group continued to joke, finishing their meals and moving to the living room. Nikita and Michael sat nearly ontop of each other on the couch, Birkhoff sprawled out next to them. Ryan sat in a chair near the three. And Sean and Alex collapsed on a loveseat across the couch; they tried awkwardly not to touch one another, heated glances briefly shared.

Nikita kept sipping water to combat the dulling burn on her tongue and in her throat, when a chill racked her body. Michael instinctively pulled her closer into his chest, rubbing warmth into her defined bicep, “What was that?”

“I don’t know,” She shook again, a little more violently that time.

“It’s probably from all the peppers you ate,” Sean had finally found a comfortable position on the small couch. He sat upright against the cushions, one arm on the rest the other draped along the back. Alex was tucked into the corner, her bare feet lightly pressing into his thigh.

Nikita negated the idea, “Jalapeños and chilies don’t make you cold.”

“Actually they do,” Blue eyes alight with excitement, Ryan sat forward, “Spiciness isn’t a flavor. There’s a chemical in hot peppers that makes you think your tongue is on fire, thus the burning sensation. Your body tries to cool you down, either by sweating, or a red nose and hands. When the burning stops, your body realizes it made a mistake and tries to warm you back up. So now you have the chills.”

As the others disgusted the information, Birkhoff laughed, “Imagine that. The famous Nikita taken down by a couple of hot peppers.”

He made a playful swipe at her leg, and she kicked him away. “I’m fine,” but another chill betrayed her words. Almost subconsciously, she burrowed deeper into Michael for warmth.

“You always liked your food cold and spicy,” Alex threw out words Nikita had said when they first met, a playful glimmer in her bright blue eyes.

Nikita gave her best friend a glare usually reserved for enemy combatants, “You should leave now. Forget you ever met me.”

The glare doesn’t hold long, and soon the women are laughing at the memory and how far they had come since then. The men joined in, their light conversation flowing easily. Though Nikita’s chills eventually ceased, they were replaced with the incessant need to pee. The water, wine, and broth had caught up to her. The others had new ammunition to poke fun of her with, yet it didn’t last long. It was late, and they were all exhausted. Attempting to halfheartedly clean, and giving tight hugs, Michael and Nikita’s family left for the night.

Leftover food was already stored away, so the couple decided to leave the remaining dishes for the morning. They fell into bed smiling and happy, sharing kisses and holding one another close. The two were content, and felt a sense of calm that neither could remember having felt in a while. Michael and Nikita were at peace in their slumber. Until, of course, Nikita had to pee again.

She came back out of the bathroom, turning off the light and shuffling to bed. Michael quickly closed the drawer to his nightstand upon her approach. As she retook her spot beside him, she gave him a questioning glance. He reassured her with his smirk, “You’ll see it later. I promise.”

Nikita wanted to pursue the issue, yet her boyfriend distracted her with a passionate kiss. He was a tease, but so was she. She deepened the kiss, running her fingers through his soft hair and drifting down to his pajama pants. When Michael shifted his hips, Nikita broke from the kiss. She faked a yawn through her heavy breath, laying down and turning away from him, “Good night.”

Michael huffed a laugh, making her giggle softly. He laid behind her, pulling her body against his. It may have taken them another hour or so, and they may have been naked that time around, yet they fell back into a peaceful sleep. Their time spent with their family in their home had done them well.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set after the events in 3x09 "Survival Instincts". Inspired by a conversation with a friend, and requests made.

“How do you know you’re in love?”

“What?”

Alex probably shouldn’t have asked that question while Nikita had her in an armbar, but it did distract her best friend long enough for her to break free. They were early morning sparring in the empty training room, neither able to sleep. Flying punches, sharp kicks, and grappling holds were the two’s solution to their problems. Though it was a short reprieve, exercise released endorphins. And endorphins made you happy. And happy people didn’t have to worry about anything. Well, that was what Alex was hoping for.

They continued the dance around each other, reaching out with strikes that were either blocked or received. Soon, Nikita caught onto what Alex had said and smirked knowingly, “Is this about Sean?”

The young woman groaned at the memory. She wasn’t proud of some of her actions from the night before. Alex and Sean had sex. They had sex a couple of times, but that wasn’t what she was ashamed of. If anything, Alex was overjoyed at the thought of her and Sean together. What she wasn’t so proud of was that their first time was in a recruit bed. She didn’t want to spend much time unpacking that fact, so she pushed it out of her mind. That only forced her to think of everything else that happened however.

Sean and Alex were sated, languidly kissing and roaming their hands over each other’s heated bodies. The two were in a bubble of peace and happiness. Sean eventually popped the bubble with his deep rumble, “I love you.”

If she was being honest with herself, Alex couldn’t place the feeling she felt deep in her stomach. She didn’t have any words for it, or for him. So she kissed him thoroughly instead of replying. After a moment, she broke away grinning softly, “We should go. We don’t want anyone finding us in here.”

Sean grunted in agreement, planting another kiss on her lips. They moved almost simultaneously out of the cot and around the room to grab discarded clothing. Alex didn’t think it important to put back on her overshirt and shoes, content with escaping to her car barefoot and clutching clothes. Sean, however, wanted to be fully dressed. As Alex threw open the door, Sean rushed to her still buttoning his jeans, “Wait.”

And that was how Michael found them, half dressed and messed from sex. A deep red blush marred Alex’s cheeks. She felt like a recruit all over again. But Michael’s reaction was difficult to read. It appeared as though he had been crying. His green eyes were bloodshot, and he glanced at the pair almost in pain. When Alex stepped forward, concerned, Michael continued his way down the hall in more of a rush than before.

“What was that about?” Alex turned to Sean, who was about as worried as she was.

“I don’t know,” He shook his head. Alex wanted to chase after Michael, but Sean grabbed her gently and pulled her back. Kissing their joined hands, he beamed adoringly at her, “And I don’t really care right now. Not when I have my favorite girl in my arms.”

Alex couldn’t help the smile that bloomed. She reached up to kiss Sean once more. They ended up dropping the clothes they were gripping to hold one another. Sean turned Alex so that her back was against the doorway, and pressed into her. A soft moan escaped her lips.

Someone clearing their throat broke the two out of their moment. Alex pushed Sean away from her, and peered down the hall to see who had spotted them. It was Birkhoff. Her heart dropped; the nerd was holding a tablet and eyeing the pair with a shit eating grin. They were doomed. Luckily, Nikita came around the corner cutting off whatever Birkhoff was about to say. She looked just like Michael had, brown eyes bloodshot and dried tears on her cheeks. Although she too glanced at Sean’s and Alex’s post sex appearances with pain in her gaze, there was also excitement. Quickly, Nikita’s own smartass grin took place. Alex didn’t stick around for the teasing to start. She scooped up her belongings and bailed. 

Being flipped hard onto the mat brought Alex to her present moment. Nikita stood over her, a smirk plastered on her full lips. She extended a hand to help the young woman up, but she swatted it away. Alex bounced to her feet, thinking of what Nikita had asked before throwing her down. She fought for the right words to say in response, “How did you know you were in love with Michael?”

It was Nikita’s turn to be lost in thought. Alex went to capitalize on that, but failed miserably. She tapped out of the hold with a frustrated grunt. Moving off of her, Nikita remained seated on the mat, “Honestly, I don’t know. One day I just realized he’s all I think and care about. Besides you guys, and taking down Division and rouge agents of course.”

“Of course,” Alex echoed her words and soft laugh. The two sat across from one another, sweaty and panting. Yet neither made a move to get water or a towel.

“Michael is always on my mind. I wonder if he’s safe, if he’s happy. Even when he was Division and I wanted that hellhole to burn, I didn’t want him to. Not Michael. Never him.” Nikita continued, staring off into space somewhere. Alex noticed a wistful expression on her best friend’s face as she spoke of her fiancé.

But insecurities and doubt ate at Alex’s mind, “How do you know that’s not just obsession or attraction?”

Nikita chuckled, bringing her dark eyes to Alex’s bright ones, “I thought that’s what it was at first. I mean, Michael is outrageously hot. And have you heard his smokey voice?”

“Oh my God,” Alex hid her amusement with a groan. Nikita laughed louder.

She soon settled though, lost in thought once more, “I also have this feeling. I’m not sure what it is, or how to describe it exactly. But, every time I’m with him I feel it. It’s like my stomach drops and my heart lifts. All I want to do is smile. And it may sound crazy, but even when we’re upset or angry with each other I feel it.”

It didn’t sound crazy to Alex. She knew that despite everything, Michael and Nikita loved each other deeply. At the moment, their relationship was strained; with the accident and what she had to do to save his life, it made sense that they were in a rough patch. Yet if anyone could push through and come out stronger, it would be Michael and Nikita. It was always those two against the world.

And, the back of her mind nagged, it was always her and Sean. Alex was sure she had felt what Nikita described when she was held securely in Sean’s arms. A wave of peace had overcome her, as well as overwhelming joy. Often, her thoughts drifted to him. She frequently wondered if he was happy and safe. Alex sat still for a long moment- was she in love with Sean Pierce. If she was, it explained the way she felt for him. It also explained the events after she had left him in the hallway.

Sean chased after her, meeting her in front of the elevators. He didn’t seem upset about her escape. Instead, he simply smiled at her, “Do you wanna go to my place for dinner?”

She was surprised by his change of subject, but quickly shook it off as she realized he had actually asked her on the date that time, “Don’t people normally date before they have sex?”

“But we’re not normal people,” He threw her words back at her. There was no malice in his tone, only humor and affection. Alex had to kiss him again.

Ryan stepped out of the opening elevator, stopping abruptly at the sight of his two agents making out. To their credit, they did pull away and blush when he noticed them. Sighing and muttering about PDA in the office, Ryan left them to their business. Sean and Alex chuckled. They got into the elevator, excited to leave.

“So is this a yes to a real first date?” Sean continued the conversation. He glanced at Alex expectantly, as well as nervously. She grabbed his hand, squeezing tight to dispel his fears.

“We have been on a date, remember. With Michael and Nikita.”

“That was their engagement dinner, and it got interrupted. It doesn’t count. Dinner and a movie with me though…”

Alex interrupted, giggling, “A movie too? That’s ambitious. But I guess I can swing it.”

Sean kissed her, and pulled her out of the elevator as it opened, “Perfect.”

It was perfect. Though they didn’t make it all the way through the movie. Halfway into the action, they stumbled towards his bedroom tearing off clothes. Alex dozed in and out of sleep, smiling more and more every time she remembered she was sleeping in Sean’s arms. But at some point she became restless. That feeling Alex didn’t have a name for overcame her, and it unsettled her. She couldn’t sleep. Agreeing to Nikita’s sparring text, she gave Sean a kiss on the forehead and left.

As Alex sat on the hard sweat stained mat, she reflected over Nikita’s words. That feeling she didn’t have a name for, was love. She was in love. That was so much more clear to her. She loved Sean Pierce. Getting to her feet, Alex gave her best friend a gracious smile, “Thanks.”

A look of understanding passed between the two women. Nikita, however, feigned ignorance while she stood, “For what? Kicking your ass?”

Alex rolled her eyes, “Please. I was distracted. You got lucky.”

“Whatever you say, Princess.” She was goading her.

Like a fool, she took the bait, “Oh alright, Nikki. Race you to ops. Loser buys lunch.”

Nikita flicked her eyebrows up at Alex, then took off without a word. “Hey!” Alex shouted, desperately trying to catch up. But she was laughing. She was happy.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set post series. Inspired by an article I read about a possible reunion series, and how I kinda want it to start.

Nikita beamed at her family. Laughing and chatting joyously, they were all lounging in the living room of their beach house. Alex was tucked into Sean’s side, softly poking at his ribs to get a reaction. He retaliated by lightly tugging her long, brown waves. This went on while the two excitedly spoke of their dinner with Sean’s sisters. The computer nerds were relaxed and content in each other’s arms. Although Sonya listened raptly to Sean and Alex’s tale, Birkhoff talked Owen’s ear off about a videogame. She elbowed him to regain his attention, and he followed her demand sheepishly. Chuckling, Owen muttered something about being whipped. Ryan sat forward in his chair, discussing different news outlets with Michael. The agent was as enthralled with the topic as the analyst, and had his own thoughts to contribute. Michael made his points while absentmindedly playing with Nikita’s hand in his; their wedding rings were cool, smooth, and comforting to the touch. Nikita glanced up at him, affection pouring out of her dark brown eyes. She kissed him sweetly on his stubbled cheek.

“Promise me it’s not a dream,” A warm, familiar voice floated behind Nikita.

She turned to investigate the source of the words, and immediately untangled her limbs from Michael’s to rush over, “Daniel? What are you doing here?” With unsure movements, Nikita neared her dead fiancé. He didn’t move from his spot. He just stared at her; the same look of love in his eyes as when they had gotten engaged.

No one else in the room seemed to notice Daniel was there. They continued their conversations and holds, oblivious to what was unfolding around them. Nikita finally reached Daniel, and she found herself shakily caressing the spot on his ribs she had once bruised. He still didn’t move, “We never left you.”

“What?” It was an unsteady whisper. 

Gunshots echoed throughout the house. Abruptly, they were in Division and Nikita was stumbling through the halls. Daniel fell at her feet. His skin was pale and his lips were blue. He appeared as though he had been drowned. Nikita fearfully tore herself away from him, sprinting towards her family. When she found them in ops, she gasped in horror. 

Alex held Sean’s lifeless body in her arms. She was screaming, sobbing, and rocking back and forth. She had various bullet wounds which were bleeding profusely, but she didn’t care about herself. She only cared about him.

Birkhoff was strapped to a menacing chair, bloody and broken from torture. He was struggling to break free to get to Sonya. She stared at him helplessly while the kill chip in her brain activated. She collapsed on the floor, and he screamed.

Owen held his pounding head in his hands. He had his eyes shut tight, attempting to survive the splitting headache. He began to yell, except it wasn’t in pain. He shouted his names over and over again- Sam, Owen, Sam, Owen, Sam, Owen. 

Ryan was whispering inaudibly. His body laid mangled and covered in gore. Blue eyes desperately looked up at Nikita. He had to tell her something, something that could save her life. But he couldn’t speak. He could barely breathe.

Michael clutched his handless arm to his chest. There was so much blood. His screams rattled Nikita to the core. Pained green eyes searched for her, pleading with her. If he died, she had to keep living. If any of her family died that night, she had to keep fighting without them.

Nikita choked on a sob, trying so very hard not to collapse on the ground. “No… no,” she felt powerless. There was hardly anything she could’ve done besides die with them. She couldn’t save her family, not like that. Not when their screams and sobs reached straight for her heart and broke it into a million pieces. Not when they were too far gone.

“Loved ones are a liability, Nikita. You should’ve learned that lesson by now,” Amanda’s icy tone froze Nikita. She faced the woman who had suddenly appeared, murder and hatred replacing the tears in her eyes. Everything was Amanda’s fault- that psychotic bitch. She hurt her repeatedly, all in the name of cruel lessons and making her into a better person. Bullshit. She broke apart Nikita’s family, tortured them, and killed them. Nothing she could have done would justify that. With a ferocious roar, Nikita launched her lithe body at Amanda. The women crashed to the floor, and Nikita rained down punch after punch. Amanda’s face split into that nasty wound which marred her features the last time anyone had ever seen her. But all she did was laugh.

Another roar ripped through Nikita at the sound. She grabbed hold of Amanda’s fiery red hair, and slammed her head into the ground. The laughter finally stopped. However, it was replaced with a more ominous noise. Cautiously, Nikita turned her attention to the ever familiar click. Percy stood towering over her, a gun cocked in his tight grip. He glared in disappointment, shaking his head, “You had so much more potential than this, Nikita.”

“Fuck you,” Pure venom dripped from Nikita’s tongue. Who other than devious, maniacal, bastardly Percy could have orchestrated the situation. Amanda may have killed for some asinine way to teach. But Percy killed for power. He killed for pleasure. He would do anything to get what he wanted. And if that included burning his own, he’d do it. Nikita hated Amanda. That was clear-cut. What she felt for Percy, though, that abhorrence had no name. It was too powerful. 

She weighed her options against the two monsters. Amanda was unconscious beneath her, so she wouldn’t have to worry about her for a moment. Percy was concerning, however. He had the upper hand, a gun trained right between her eyes. Nikita had been in tactically poor spots before. But she had always been the victor. Percy was no match for her. She grinned wickedly, preparing her move, when the hum of Division grew deafening. It had been a dull buzz at first, yet right at that second it became ear shattering. Nikita couldn’t focus on anything else. Her thoughts were drowned out by that incessant hum.

Her family screaming her name didn’t help. Each voice escalated louder and louder, all needing her attention- Nikita, Nikita, Nikita! Her tense, active body slacked wanting to battle the noise. But it was too much. Alex, Sean, Sonya, Birkhoff, Owen, Ryan, and Michael needed her to save them. They needed her to protect them. She had to answer their calls. Except the hum kept her in place. It reminded her that she was trapped; she was in Division facing Percy and Amanda. There was no way out, never any way out. Percy chuckled sardonically, “Welcome back home, Nikita.”

“Nikita,” As Percy pulled the trigger, she shot upward. Yet she wasn’t dead, or hurt, or anywhere near it. She was in bed. Her heart was almost leaping out of her chest, and her breath was erratic. She scanned the bedroom with panicked eyes, trembling and sweaty. Sitting near her, Michael had his warm palm pressed soothingly against her cheek. He turned her gently to face him, calm green eyes meeting wild brown, “Nikita, hey. You’re okay. You’re okay, Baby.”

With broken breath, she pressed her forehead against his. She closed her eyes tightly, forcing back the tears and the nightmare. Michael caressed her cheek, her hair, her arm. He whispered sweet comforting words, until she had control of her breathing again. Reaching for her husband, Nikita slowly parted from him. She made sure he was really there, as her eyes and hands roamed over his strong sturdy body. He took one of her hands in his, kissing her knuckles and giving her a small smile. She eased at the gesture.

Long moments later, Nikita muttered, “Sometimes it feels like I never left Division. That these past six years were never real.”

Michael nodded in understanding. He scooped his wife up in his arms, and held her close, “I know. I feel that too.”

The couple fell back into silence, gathering strength through their tight hold. Monsters were defeated and freedom was secured, but they were still left battered and scarred. Everything was alright, however. They had one another, and they had their family. Nikita grinned at the thought. She pulled back from Michael to share her smile. He returned the happy, adoring look while tucking an errant strand of dark hair behind her ear.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Their kiss was reassuring and passionate, the perfect way to greet the soft tendrils of sunlight that began to shine through the wide bedroom windows. Nikita’s grin only grew after the affection, “Family dinner tonight.”

Groaning, Michael flopped onto the mattress. The last family dinner wasn’t exactly a fun one. To sum it up briefly, it ended with broken plates. But Nikita was optimistic. She nudged Michael in the side to make him laugh like she had started to, “Come on. Birkhoff’s gonna meet Barkoff. This will be the best dinner yet.”

A gigantic dog woke up on the chair next to the bed at the sound of his name. Although Michael was originally against naming their dog after the tech nerd, he soon found it aptly fitting. Their dog was shaggy and drooled. There really wasn’t a better name for him, “He’s gonna be so pissed at you.”

“Eh. It’ll take the heat off of Alex.” She laid down, curling into her husband’s side.

He instinctively threw his arm around her to pull her closer, “Nikita the martyr.”

“You’re damn right,” Glancing up at him, the two broke into laughter. He kissed her once more, love pouring through the action. The last few remnants of Nikita’s nightmare faded into black. Her family was safe and sound. Maybe a little worse for wear, but at peace nonetheless. No more monsters or shadowy organizations to defeat, it was just them together. Nothing was going to ruin their happily ever after.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set pre-series. Inspired by a conversation I heard.

The two women were silent as they made their way back to the loft. Soft pop music wafted from the radio, filling the stolen car. However, neither of them were really paying attention to the sound. Both were lost in deep thought. Alex was contemplating what she had just seen. They had driven all the way out to rural New Jersey to scope out the area surrounding Division. They couldn’t get too close, so binoculars and trees had become their very good friends. An opening to a hidden silo was Alex’s way to escape the dungeon if the need arose. She had to be careful of the wide open field and barn crawling with Division agents once she did use it though. Her mind rapidly came up with different ways to combat that fact.

On the other hand, Nikita was trying hard not to think about Division. Tactically it made sense to drive Alex out there to scout the area. But she didn’t want to. It was one thing to scheme about all the different ways to take down the hellhole, it was another to go back and visit. The demons she was running from seemed all too real when facing them head on. She wasn’t prepared for the mental assault. Or for the toll it would take on her emotions. Nikita took several calming breaths. 

“Is that a freight train?” Alex suddenly bolted upright in the passenger seat, staring in awe as the ‘no crossing’ signal fell over the tracks. Stopping the car and her current thoughts, Nikita glanced at the young woman confused. Surely she had seen a train before. She lived in Manhattan and grew up in Moscow. It would’ve been impossible for her to not to have seen a passenger train. But Alex paid her no mind. She searched down the tracks and waited excitedly for the train to eventually chug along, “I’m so excited.”

Nikita didn’t know whether to laugh or not, “Uhh, yeah. A whole bunch of them cross through here.”

The fact made Alex even more enthusiastic. She bounced in her seat, leaning forward against the windshield to try to catch a better glimpse, “Wait, why is it taking so long? Usually in the movies you almost die, the train is coming so fast.”

Oh, that explained it. Alex had once told Nikita that her father used to help her practice her English by watching American movies; his favorites were typically westerns. She ended up watching a lot of those movies while forcing away her Russian accent. Apparently, the old Hollywood conception of trains had stuck with her. A small chuckle tumbled past Nikita’s full lips as she nodded towards the slow moving railroad car, “That’s the train right there.”

Alex was shocked, absolutely bewildered. There was no way that sloth-like thing was what they were waiting for, “Wait. It’s so slow. No. Trains are like super fast.”

Nikita did laugh that time, “That’s only in the movies.”

Staring at the tracks, Alex was crestfallen. It actually broke Nikita’s heart to see her like that. Sometimes, she forgot how young she was. Alex had barely turned eighteen when Nikita had rescued her from the crack house six months prior. She was still only a teenager. There were moments where Alex’s experiences in life made her more mature than she needed to be. Like when she pushed to be trained harder or faster believing she could handle anything, or when she carried the weight of her life and countless others’ on her shoulders. However, in moments like the railway stop, Alex was a typical eighteen year old- excited by the world and what it could bring. Nikita found herself smiling at her.

“You can’t die from this,” Alex’s complaint ripped Nikita back to the moment, “I was stressing out over nothing.”

Pressing her forehead into the steering wheel, Nikita doubled over in laughter. Alex wanted to defend herself, but ended up giggling along with her friend. Through joyful hysterics, Nikita breathed out, “What did you think was gonna happen?”

“I thought if you ever got stuck on the tracks you were dead. The train would just shoot straight through you,” Alex shook her head at herself, her laughter fading, “Like that one movie where the guy has to rush in and break stuff to save the other guy.”

“Hancock,” Easily, Nikita supplied as she regained her composure. Over the past half year the two women had become very close. They had even started to be able to read one another’s mind, which was excellent for what they were planning to do. The closer they were, the more trust they had, the more efficiently they could complete their mission. And Division would burn to the ground.

Alex nodded in agreement, “Yes.”

The freight train finally moved along, and the ‘no crossing’ signs lifted. Nikita pulled the car forward, speeding towards the loft. She and Alex fell back into silence, but it was lighter than the one before. After a moment, Nikita suggested “We should have a movie night.”

There was a pause as Alex tried to catch up with the thought, “Uh sure. Why?”

She shrugged, “Why not? We deserve to relax.”

“Okay,” Her soft grin brought one to Nikita’s lips, “Are we also gonna have popcorn?”

Flashing a smirk, Nikita took a sharp turn onto the highway, “I don’t know. Maybe we should have something healthier.”

Alex negated immediately, “No. I am not drinking anymore veggie shakes.”

“You’ve only had one.”

“One was enough.”

The two women glared at each other, bright blue eyes clashing with dark brown. It didn’t last long before they were laughing again. An easy conversation started to flow between Alex and Nikita. They discussed which movie to watch, and eventually which kind of popcorn to buy. Just the idea of movie night was relaxing. Their minds were off of their problems for a long while. They could hash out battle plans later. At the moment, Alex and Nikita could have fun, be normal. It was a glimpse of the life waiting for them once their mission was complete.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set sometime in season 3. Inspired from comments heard during my brothers' videogame nights.

“Boom! Ownage,” Birkhoff exclaimed, relaxing his tense fingers on the Xbox controller. The animated body on the large high-def television fell to the ground after a satisfying headshot. A victory banner flashed across the screen, coupled with the nerd’s victory shout. He, Sean, and Owen had been playing the multiplayer videogame for hours. Birkhoff had rigged a private internet connection so that the three could play together without any strangers messing with their game. And so that they could talk without interference. The game wasn’t about fun, however, it was about bragging rights. Whoever won enough matches earned the rightful name ‘King of the Battlefield’. Birkhoff had the lead, Sean following close behind. Owen was tragically in last place; he had only managed one win as a technicality.

“Lucky shot,” Sean’s voice grumbled through the speakers.

“Aww. Are you upset that your super secret spy skills are useless here?” Laughter almost choked off Birkhoff’s condescending reply. He was loving their challenge. Computers were his domain, and that included action filled-shoot em up-games. No gun toting military brat could’ve taken that away from him.

Complaining for the upteenth time, Owen could be heard clacking harshly on different buttons, “I think my controller’s broken.”

“Did you try turning it on and off again,” The quip rolled easily off of Birkhoff’s tongue as he booted up another round.

“How do you do that?”

“Just press the big ‘X’ in the middle of the controller,” Sean supplied, “Right now.”

Owen did as instructed. On the screen, his player name flashed as dead accrediting Sean’s name with the kill. Birkhoff and Sean laughed at his misfortune. The poor man huffed, “That’s not fair.”

“All’s fair in love and war,” Hunched forward, the nerd scanned the television for Sean’s avatar. He had to be nearby, the playable map wasn’t that big. Birkhoff was on high alert for wherever the Seal could have been hiding.

Sonya’s light footsteps entering the game room went unnoticed by her boyfriend. She stared at the television and his intense focus, piecing together what was going on. The only information she was missing was who exactly Birkhoff was playing against. It wouldn’t have been wise to log onto an open videogame server, not in their current situation. He should have known that, so she asked “Who are you playing?”

Her voice caused Birkhoff to jump. He spared a quick glance at her, relaxing when he finally noticed who was in the room with him, “Sean.”

“And Owen,” He chimed in, stopping his controller smashing. Owen had finally admitted defeat, and accepted his terrible skill.

“Barely,” The replies he was giving were clipped. There were more important things for the nerd to pay attention to, like where the hell had Sean’s character gone.

Moving around the room to place down the yoga mat she held, Sonya continued her interrogation, “Are you using a secure channel? We can’t afford to be careless, even in our downtime.”

“Yes we’re using a…” But he was cut short by a virtual bullet. Birkhoff’s avatar dropped lifelessly to the ground, defeat flashing across the TV. Sean whooped, and Owen rubbed the victory in for him. Birkhoff collapsed back on the couch with a groan, “Dammit. Where the hell were you?”

“If I told you, then I’d have to kill you,” Sean joked.

Sonya giggled, as did Alex through the speakers; she must’ve been over at Sean’s apartment. Birkhoff shook his head vehemently, “What, no. This is supposed to be guys night. No women, no missions.”

“Then where’s Michael and Ryan?” Starting a new campaign, Owen asked.

“They’re too lame to join.”

“Yeah, because what you’re doing is so cool,” Alex made fun of the trio.

Again, Sonya laughed. She sat down on the mat cross legged, and began to take deep, soothing breaths. Birkhoff tore his eyes away from his very serious game to admonish the women, “Alex, butt out. And Sonya… oh come on. Don’t tell me. Nikki actually got to you on that yoga crap.”

Her eyes rolled, and she stretched bent elbows above her head, “Nikita does kendo, Seymour. And these stretches are very useful after sitting at a computer all day.”

A small part of Birkhoff knew she was right. Often, he found that his body was stiff and sore from hunched positions. Stretching would have probably brought him great relief. But at the moment he couldn’t care less. He had a championship to win. Sean was easy to spot that time around, and Birkhoff took him out with a precisely aimed grenade. Owen was in his sights next, yet he got distracted.

As she twisted into a complex pose, Sonya let out a steadying breath. He had seen Nikita do countless yoga, kendo, whatever while wearing revealing workout gear- seriously that woman had no shame. However, watching Sonya do it was different. Yeah Nikita was as hot as usual, but with her it was always look don’t touch. His girlfriend, though, he could look and touch all he wanted. Sonya was breathtaking. The tight leggings shaped her beautifully, and the bright pink sports bra highlighted her flawless dark skin. Birkhoff could not stop staring. 

“Ha! Take that, Nerd,” Owen’s shout gained the nerd in question’s focus. Sure enough, Birkhoff’s character was once again laid out dead. Except, he didn’t care that his winning streak had taken even more damage. 

He just glanced back at Sonya, dazed, “Yeah, good job man.”

Sonya caught him staring at her when she flowed into another stretch, “What is it?”

“Nothing,” He shook himself out of it, refocusing on the game. Something gnawed in the pit of his stomach after his and Sonya’s eyes connected. The comfort and peace it brought felt oddly familiar; it was kinda homey. Birkhoff thought he could melt into the feeling, succumb to it and be eternally relaxed. Maybe he would just fall.

But first he had to take out Owen and Sean in the videogame. It was easy work, with Owen continuing to be completely useless and Sean standing still, “Bow down to Shadowwalker, boys. One more win and I’ll be ‘King of the Battlefield’.”

Sean could only reply with an out of breath, “Yeah whatever,” while Alex giggled. He was definitely distracted, yet Birkhoff couldn’t blame him. His eyes kept wandering to Sonya.

“Let’s just get this over with,” Booting up the next and last game, Owen sighed.

Once Sonya finished her yoga routine, she came over to watch the round. Nothing notably exciting had happened yet, so she decided to leave. Although she was ready to get some well needed sleep, reflecting on the way her boyfriend had stared at her during her exercise made her pause. Almost as an afterthought, she leaned into Birkhoff’s ear, whispering so the others wouldn’t overhear, “I’m going to take a shower and go to bed, if you would like to join.”

Birkhoff bolted upright. All he could do was nod speechlessly. Chuckling, Sonya continued on her way out of the room; she added an extra sway to her step, knowing he was staring. A bright smile bloomed on his lips, “Hey, uh, guys. I just got an update from HQ. ETA’s five minutes ‘til bedtime.”

The two other men laughed, Owen’s quickly turning into a whine at his defeat. He really hated that videogame, and he turned off the Xbox grumbling the whole time. Sean and Birkhoff only played for a brief moment longer. Neither had any reactions when it was all over. Shrugging off his defeat, Sean abandoned the game to give Alex his full attention. And in a very rare move, Birkhoff didn’t flaunt his victory. Tossing away the controller, he followed Sonya to the bedroom. There were more important things in life then a stupid videogame. That had become abundantly clear to the nerd.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Could take place anytime these two are together. Inspired by the song "Duet" by Penny and Sparrow (feat. Stephanie Briggs).

__ _ I bet your shoulders can hold more than _

_ Just the straps of that tiny dress _

The mission was… well it was a mission. They had managed to save the world, per usual, but God were they exhausted. All of their planning was for naught, so they had to operate off of Plan D, which was just wild improvisation. Although they had survived the unmitigated disaster, their bodies were battered, bruised, and broken. The two simply wanted to stay wherever they were, sleeping it off for a whole week. Except, life had different plans. They had to leave the country as quickly as possible, and that little cargo plane they smuggled themselves on was neither comfortable nor quiet enough for them to successfully doze off.

Stumbling through the door of their bedroom, Nikita lightly flopped face first onto their bed. She could honestly sleep like that, dress and jewelry be damned. At least her heels were off. Yet as she thought about it, she had no earthly clue where they had gone. She had taken them off as she beat the hell out of some goons. If her memory served her correctly, one of the heels had even been used as a weapon. What happened to them after that, who knew. Nevertheless, locating missing shoes was not at the top of her to-do list. Nikita only yawned into the mattress, letting her tired eyes fall.

_ That I'll help you slide aside _

_ When we get home _

“You can’t sleep like that,” Michael’s gruff voice kept her from just passing out in exhaustion. He closed the door behind him, tripping out of his shoes and ripping off his tie.

“Watch me,” She meant to sound more menacing, but the words fell flat against their bed.

Michael sighed. Moving to her with a limp, he let his suit jacket drop from his shoulders, “Here, sit up.”

“No,” Nikita rolled to her back, wincing. Her ribs were definitely bruised, probably cracked. Bandaged and splinted, her wrist continued to throb. And one of her eyes was almost swollen shut. None of those even covered the various cuts and bruises decorating her olive skin. But she had come out of the fights on top. Not to be cliché, but you should’ve seen the other guy.

For her good hand to grip onto, Michael held out his own damaged appendage which sported cracked and swollen knuckles. His lower back screamed in pain from a pulled muscle. Swollen and purple, his nose was broken. And his ankle was sprained at best. Again, none of those even covered the various cuts and bruises decorating his pale skin. Sure the couple had won the day, but at what cost.

_ I've seen 'em carry family _

_ And the steel drum weight of me _

Nikita sluggishly placed her hand in his, and they both grunted as he helped pull her upright. Laughter overcame the pair. They laughed at the situation they were in, and because they were too tired to do anything else. Michael brought her hand to his lips, kissing her knuckles sweetly. Nikita did the same, with more of a gentle brush considering his injuries. Green eyes staring adoringly into brown, he gave her his trademark half smile and unclasped the bracelet on her wrist. She grinned up at him lovingly. Without breaking eye contact, he kissed her pulse. 

She had to help him sit down on their bed next to her. When Michael and Nikita were in a comfortable enough position considering the damage to their bodies, he lightly brushed aside her dark hair and took off her necklace. Bruises marred her neck, the marks distinctly left by a harsh chokehold. The kiss Michael placed there was more tender and reverent. It reflected what he couldn’t say- not yet, not when the image was so strong in his mind. He had almost lost her; it wasn’t the first time that had happened, but that didn’t mean he would ever be used to it. The harrowing feeling in the pit of his stomach told him that much. 

_ Effortless, just like that dress _

_ That I'll help off _

“I love you,” Spoken with so much devotion and warmth, the softly whispered words were holy. 

“I love you too,” Peace washed over the couple. They were encased in their own impenetrable bubble. Nothing in the world existed besides them.

Michael’s fingers were light as he moved aside the straps of Nikita’s dress and pulled down the zipper. She let out a breath, shrugging out of the cloth. Her tense muscles soothed at the feel of his touch on her exposed skin. He explored the bruises and cuts with careful hands and lips. Humming in contentment, Nikita found that she could breathe easier. Her body was still in absolute agony, but being with Michael dulled all of her pain.

_ I bet your back can carry more than _

_ Just the weight of your button-down _

Nikita struggled to her feet, the dress slipping the rest of the way off. Michael made a move to follow her, but she stopped him with a sure palm on his sturdy chest. She stepped between his open thighs, and kissed him thoroughly. Missions like that always left her needing to never leave his side- including when she only wanted to sleep. She was sure she had lost him again, those few seconds between a gunshot and him stumbling through the hall almost killing her. Yet there he was, safe and sound right in front of her- minus some pretty nasty injuries of course. Her kiss expressed the words that were trapped in her throat. 

One of Michael’s hands traced the lines of the tattoo on her hip, while the other unhooked her bra and soothed away the red lines left behind. Tenderly, Nikita’s good hand massaged away the stress and worry she knew he carried in his shoulders. The other awkwardly unbuttoned his dress shirt, her fingers having difficulty maneuvering around the makeshift cast. He helped her shed the garment, and she let her bra fall to the floor.

_ One by one, they'll come undone _

_ When we get home  _

It was Nikita’s turn to worship Michael with loving kisses and touches. She started on his neck, moving down his scraped chest. A hum rumbled through him, vibrating her. He muttered sweet nothings into her hair, as he attempted to take off her earrings. Chuckling at the gesture, she moved to do it herself. The jewelry was plopped into a pile, that she wanted to put away, but Michael was reaching for her. Nikita came willingly into his arms, kissing him again and again and again while he held her tightly.

They were reassuring one another. A difficult mission, brushes with death, exhaustion, it was all plaguing their minds. They needed to feel, feel one another beneath their fingers. Words could be saved for later. When they had time to process what they had been through, then they would talk. For that moment it was actions, and confirming the other was by their side.

_ I've seen you carry family _

_ And all my insecurities _

“Help me up,” As they parted to breathe, Michael attempted to stand. Nikita gritted past the stab in her ribs to assist him past the seize in his back. On his feet, his slacks began to sag thanks to her removal of his belt. But he didn’t care. He rested his forehead against hers, both catching their breath.

“Would you look at us,” After a second, Nikita laughed. They were holding each other up, her ribs and his back and ankle forcing them into a strange angle, “Some elite killers we are.”

Michael laughed along with her, “Killers who need a shower.”

“Would you like help with that too?” The flirty tease sparkled her eyes. 

He couldn’t help but kiss her once more, “Yes.”

_ Because I've seen you _

Tag teaming the rest of their clothes off, Michael and Nikita stood staring at one another a moment. It wasn’t so much a sexual or predatory glance at their naked bodies, but a loving, reaffirming gaze. They were home, safe, alive, together. Michael and Nikita. A little worse for wear, but nonetheless in one piece and with the love of their life. 

_ And I know you _

Hand in hand, the couple hobbled off to the ensuite bathroom together. The water was strong and hot in contrast to the soft and cool soap. They helped to wash off blood, dirt, and grime, trying so very hard to be gentle and soothing. Nikita and Michael cleaned wounds and applied better bandages and splints, before staggering back towards the bed. There was no need for pajamas, that would’ve been too much of a hassle. Instead, the pair snuggled close under the covers. Sleep quickly washed over them. And they dreamed blissfully, secure in the other’s arms.

_ And I'm not going anywhere _


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set sometime in season 3. Inspired by the song "Hold on to Me" by Valerie Broussard.

_ You've been walking alone for so long _

_ And you've been building a wall around your heart _

Alex stormed through her front door, slamming the door behind her. Well, trying to slam the door; Sean was close on her heels. They were both left absolutely livid after their latest mission. Ryan had called it a success, but it didn’t feel as such. Sure, they got what they needed and what the president wanted. The Division agents remaining were one step closer to freedom. However, Amanda was still in the wind. That bitch continued to terrorize them, and do whatever hell she was enacting on the world. It was always one struggling step forward, two frustrating steps back. God, Alex was exhausted. 

Her head was also pounding. Apparently getting thrown against a wall from the blast of a grenade left someone with a mild-concussion. She didn’t have the time to deal with that at the moment. She needed to be right back out there with Nikita, tracking Amanda’s movements. There was no rest for the wicked, so there shouldn’t be for the heroes as well. Who cared what the others had instructed her to do, Alex had to be out there.

Sean followed her tornado path to the kitchen, continuing to argue his point, “Alex, slow down. You have to rest.”

_ But I promise there is a light at the end of this long ride, _

“No,” Alex poured herself some water and drank it in one gulp, “I need to lock that psychotic bitch in a tiny ass jail cell.”

She chugged more water, feeling at least slightly better at the action. Sean met her at the sink, and though she attempted to pull away from him he held her arm gently. Calloused fingers began to trace the faint tattoo on her forearm. She couldn't help but melt at his soothing touch, “Which we will. But we need you to get better first. You think Nikita’s gonna go in guns blazing without you by her side? She’d wait for hell to freeze over before continuing this fight without you. Hell, we all would.”

Allowing his words to settle in, Alex stayed by his side for a moment. But doubt and stubbornness crept into her mind, making her remove her arm from his grip. She put distance between them by walking towards the living room, “What am I even supposed to do to heal a concussion? Sit around and do nothing?”

“Well yeah, actually,” Sean fought the temptation to follow her. He instead focused on making Alex something to eat. Her answering groan was muffled by a pillow.

_ This time I know you'll be alright _

_ 'Cause I'm standing at your side, _

“That’s pointless,” Alex just kept on arguing, not willing to accept defeat, “I can still be of help.”

“Right. By taking the doctor’s advice to rest. And, by eating my delicious cooking,” Sean punctuated that last point by slamming the lid down on a pot of boiling water. Finally crossing over to her on the couch, he saw that she had collapsed face first on the cushions. He chuckled, “Sit up, Princess. Doctor said you probably shouldn’t sleep either.”

With a huff and a glare, Alex followed his orders. Sean wanted to kiss the pout off of her lips, but decided against it; he didn’t want a concussion too. He sat next to her, tenderly tucking her wild brown hair behind her ear. She eased at the motion, and canted into his touch, “Let me guess. You know the best way to keep me up all night.”

“Damn right I do,” Alex laughed at his certainty. That time, Sean did kiss her. They both melted into the feeling of one another so close. Anger, frustration, and stubbornness disappeared at the affection. Gentle hands roamed tense bodies, forcing them to settle. Except, Alex soon grew restless. The thought of the grenade and her concussion helped her realize that she might not have kissed Sean Pierce ever again. A tad frantically, she shoved him onto his back. Her kiss was desperate and thorough, yanking his shirt over his head.

_ Life, an ocean, keeps pulling your anchor down _

_ Deep in darkness and you can't hear a sound _

Sean wasn’t one to disagree with her actions, so he returned the intense passion. He was rough as he pulled off her tank top. She grunted in pain. Although that didn’t stop the movement of her lips or her hips, he froze. He broke away from the kiss, and gave her a good look over. Dark purple bruises were sprayed across her ribs. Apparently being thrown against a wall also bruised someone’s ribs. Sean bolted upright, softly pushing her off of him, “Ohmygod, Alex. Let me get you some ice.”

By the time she replied, he was halfway to the kitchen, “Sean, I’m fine. It’s just bruised.”

“Don’t. Alright. Let me help you,” Grabbing an icepack from the freezer, he glanced back at her pleadingly. She relented with a sigh. 

Before he went back to her, he added pasta to the neglected boiling water and set it to simmer. Alex tried to take the icepack and apply it to her battered ribs herself, but he fought against her. With a gentleness that always shocked her, he knelt in front of her and pressed the ice into her side. She winced more from the cold than the pain, but concern still bloomed across his features. His hand not holding the pack softly caressed her cheek, “You scared me today.”

Staring into his eyes, Alex knew exactly what he meant. If she had been any closer, the blast would’ve killed her instead of simply leaving her with annoying injuries. She was lucky, though- always lucky, always the survivor. However, she had been so caught up on the effect it had on her. It was her pain, her harrowing experience, she could deal on her own. She could push past, heal herself, and continue fighting. That was how she survived, on her own with no help from anyone.

_ Hold on to me now _

_ I won't let you drown _

But, Alex wasn’t alone anymore. She was surrounded by her friends and family. They loved and cared for her deeply, especially Sean. Sean Pierce who had come to mean so much to her over the past year. He was by her side, through thick and thin, misery and joy, failure and success. Alex was certain if he died, she would die. But it wasn’t until that moment, when she was staring into his eyes, that the fact was true to him as well. If she died, he died. 

Their kiss was sweet and reassuring. Through it, Alex expressed to Sean that she was there. She was safe and sound, and not going anywhere. Her hands conveyed the same message as they lovingly wove through his hair. His hands stayed where they were, covering her injuries and healing them with their adoring touch. While she was content with letting actions speak for her, he broke the kiss to whisper against her lips “I love you.”

_ Take you to higher ground  _

Alex broke into a beaming smile. She pulled him into a hug. It was awkward given their position, but neither cared. Sean buried his head into her neck, breathing her in. He placed butterfly kisses against her warm skin, and she sighed. The couple stayed like that for a long moment. Reaffirming that they were there, their hold was tight and secure. Nothing could’ve broken them apart.

_ 'Cause when you feel like you've been falling  _

_ And when the river sweeps you right off your feet  _

The cooking pasta boiling over the burners did yank them out of their moment, however. Sean shot to his feet, muttering curses the entire way to the food. Alex giggled and followed after him. She wasn’t much use in the kitchen, but she could help him. Afterall, he had helped her countless times. They flowed together effortlessly as they salvaged the pasta. No words were needed between the pair. Just like on a mission, they read the other’s needs and came to their aide. 

Their lives may have violently clashed together at first. Yet at that moment, they were at peace. The peace wasn’t always permanent, but they could easily settle back into it. Sean and Alex were there. At the other’s side, ready to help even when they pushed away. They weren’t going to separate anytime soon. In fact, they were never going to leave the other without a fight.

_ Hold on to me _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I can't believe I wrote ten of these. I had only intended to write a couple. I'd like to thank the quarantine and working and schooling at home for giving me the boredom to do this. And, I'd like to thank all of you who have read and reviewed here and on Fanfiction. Your encouragement and kind words really inspired me to keep going and come up with fantastic stories for characters I love. Thank you. I appreciate your support. Hope you continue to enjoy!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set in season 2. Inspired by some little things that made me think of the three couples.

Sweat slicked his palms, causing them to slide against the mat. He attempted to readjust his grip, but it was of no use. His sense of balance was already shot, any new move would’ve brought the whole thing down. He just had to suffer with quivering arms until he could stumble into the next position. Hopefully, that would’ve been soon. 

He blamed her. If she hadn’t sauntered up to him in those thigh hugging leggings and revealing sports bra, he probably would’ve been able to say no. Well, he could’ve at least held out a tad longer. She kept using words like, endurance, strength, and flexibility, dripping each one with a sensual tone. She had said it was all for missions sake, but with that tone he knew better. Her tactic was sex, and it worked. So there he was, fighting valiantly to not fall flat on his face and to breathe evenly.

Nikita giggled softly as she glanced over at Michael. She had put on a simple yoga video for them to follow. Except, while she was flowing through the practice with ease, he was struggling. It made sense, he had never done yoga before. Of course he was going to have a difficult time. But he was just too stubborn to admit defeat. He forced his tired body into strange positions, shaking limbs and labored breath be damned. Things wouldn’t be as funny if he got hurt. At that moment, however, watching Michael huff and puff his way through the downward facing dog was hilarious. Nikita had to bite her lip to not burst out laughing.

The video instructed them to lift one leg into a three legged dog. Michael gritted his teeth, and pressed his slipping hands even harder into the mat, as he changed positions. He could do it. He was sure he had been in more strenuous situations. Yoga shouldn’t have been that hard. Sure, he was working different muscles than usual. But that wasn’t a valid excuse. He spared a quick glimpse at Nikita, fearing the disappointment that would arise at seeing her effortlessness. Although her body was hardly bothered with the position, Michael wasn’t focused on that. She was smiling at him adoringly.

All of his complaints and grumbles disappeared at seeing her grin. He tried to return one of his own, but through harsh breaths he knew it was awkward. That didn’t matter though. None of the discomfort mattered, not in the long run. Michael and Nikita were doing something together. No missions, no Division, just the two of them enjoying their time with one another. And seeing her so relaxed and happy, made it true for him as well. 

She did end up bursting out in laughter at his pained smile, but he choked out a laugh with her. Switching to the other side of the three legged dog, Nikita looked over at Michael again. She had planned to make a sarcastic remark about the instructor in the video, yet he stopped her. Not only were his limbs quaking, they were also bent at weird angles. He was going to hurt himself if he didn’t straighten out. Deciding that helping him with actions would be better than words, she smoothly stood and crossed over to him. In hindsight, she should’ve told him something. Maybe that she was standing behind him. Instead, she only reached out to adjust his position. 

Michael was so focused on the video and not losing balance, that he had no clue Nikita wasn’t practicing yoga anymore. He shot a wild leg out while somewhat moving along with the instructions, kicking her right in the gut. The strike caused both of them to stumble to the ground. Whereas Michael was confused and concerned at what just happened, Nikita was laughing hysterically. Instantly his mind connected the dots and he rushed to her, wondering if she was alright- which she was. Soon, he collapsed in laughter along with her. The couple clung to each other and giggled uncontrollably. Lost in the joyful moment, they were undoubtedly happy and together. It wasn’t how they had planned to get there, but they were there nonetheless. And they wouldn’t have it any other way.

-

On the other side of the beach house, Sean Pierce was staring at her. He leaned against the doorframe of her bedroom watching her every move silently. She was so consumed with her task at hand, that she didn’t know he was there. Frustrated, she expelled harsh breaths. Nothing was cooperating with her. It wasn’t fair. Out of everything she had ever done, why did that have to be the most difficult. 

Sean wanted desperately to help Alex put the mattress cover on the bed. But there was something inherently hilarious watching a super spy fail at making the bed. Sure, the mattress cover was almost impossible to put on by oneself. However, if anyone could figure it out, his money would be on Alex. Her annoyed grunt caused him to chuckle, and give away his staring. She turned to him with more irritation in her bright blue eyes than confusion. He thought that was an invitation to assist her, moving to do so. She huffed and showed her back to him. Stubbornness drove her to complete her quest solo.

So, Sean continued to watch Alex in amusement. Finally, she got the mattress cover on. She smiled brightly to herself and went to get the bottom sheet to put on next. With her attention off of the bed, he quickly tugged the bottom corner of the cover so that it was more secure. As much as he enjoyed watching her struggle to do what he believed to be a simple household chore, he didn’t want her to become too frustrated. It was all fun and games until she was hurt. Then, Sean became very serious.

The bottom sheet was almost as much of a hassle as the mattress cover. But Alex had learned from her mistakes, and was able to get it on without screaming. The top sheet was no issue at all. It was the comforter, however, that she wanted to give up on. Her arms were tired, she was sweaty, and the damn thing was hot from the dryer and heavy. She needed a second to catch her breath, and to motivate herself forward. She could finish making her stupid bed. If she could take out goons, she could at least do that. 

Alex was aware that Sean was still staring at her, a smirk on his full lips. A part of her wanted to ask for his help. She knew he’d do anything she asked him nicely to do. Instead, she let her stubbornness take over again. She finished tucking in the comforter with a huge sigh. Collapsing against her bed, she fought to take back control of her breathing and settle down. She could put the pillows back on later. Her bed was finally made.

Movement around Alex made her stand again. Sean was gently shoving the pillows in their clean cases, and placing them on the bed. Smiling, she looked at him. She was surprised she didn’t demand that she was fine, that she could do it on her own. She was just so thankful for his kindness, she couldn’t help but grin. 

He smiled back at her, matching her expression. Moving closer to her, Sean attempted to make a joke. However, it fell flat against the look in her eyes. She wasn’t only thankful, she was also happy. He hadn’t seen her like that in a while, not with everything concerning Division and Semak. The lightness in her eyes was rare. It made seeing it holy and divine. Then again, Sean always felt like that around Alex. She made things brighter in his eyes. Her dedication, her drive, her tenacity, it was inspiring. Although he did agree with what they had all said about Division and why it had to burn, it was her that made him ultimately change his mind. He’d do anything for her, anything to make her smile and happy like that.

-

At his computer station, he was nervous. His leg bounced under the desk rapidly. He wasn’t sure what he was planning was going to work. No one had really tried it before. Though normally he would be triumphant in the fact that he had thought up something new, he was worried. If it didn’t work, he wasn’t sure what else to do. But he couldn’t afford to think like that. Positive vibes were going to see him through, not that he believed in such things anyway.

Birkhoff couldn’t stop thinking about her. She was tremendously smart, breathtakingly beautiful, and surprisingly kind for a Division lackey. He couldn’t really blame her for that, however. It wasn’t like anyone chose to work for the black ops unit. And, she had willingly helped them in the past. She was definitely moving her way to their side of the fight. But that wasn’t why Birkhoff wanted to see her at that moment. He didn’t need to know some intel or computer trick. He needed to see her.

Sonya’s elegant features suddenly appeared on his computer screen. She was at home, like he had hoped, and she was hopelessly confused. Before she could say anything, Birkhoff shushed her. He typed a message rapidly into his keyboard. She caught onto his idea fairly quickly. They could see one another and communicate via text, all unbeknownst to Division. A brilliant smile broke out across her face as she replied.

The two messaged each other back and forth for hours. Neither really seemed to care, both ignoring the tight pulls in their irritated backs. Birkhoff couldn’t remember a time where he had more fun with a woman on his computer. Sonya had captivated him. Not only did she make him think, she also made him smile and want to do better. Yes with his mad hacking skills, but also in general. 

He finally understood what Michael always talked about when it came to him and Nikita- a warmth and happiness he felt in the pit of his stomach. He never wanted to hear about it when the man spoke of his feelings, but he was kinda glad he did. Although Birkhoff wasn’t sure he was ready to admit to it yet, he knew the happiness he felt was only because of Sonya. Maybe when they burned down Division, he’d be able to speak that fact aloud. For that moment though, he was content just smiling and typing.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set near the end of season 1. Inspired by my thoughts on how a tradition of family dinners started.

Nikita was hardly ever wrong. Her instincts and knowledge almost always led her to the correct course of action. She knew who to trust, and when to trust them. She knew how to get out of a sticky situation, and when to do so. She knew the right tactics to save the day, and how to reap the rewards. Because Nikita was constantly right, she had become the most powerful operative and the most fearsome enemy. At that moment, however, she had the sinking feeling that she was wrong- very, very wrong. And for once, she was terrified of the consequences.

Alex was aware of her and Michael. She had informed the young woman of the addition to their little band of rebels against Division a few days prior. She also told her that they were not just together, but together-together. Taking in the information in stride, Alex even made a joke out of it. That allowed Michael and Nikita to relax. Thankfully, the young woman reacted substantially better than Owen had. They really didn’t need anymore discord amongst their teammates.

So far, the three of them worked well together. They had each other’s backs, and shared their intel easily. Although Nikita, Alex, and Michael (and also Owen with his search for the Black Boxes, and Ryan their ally in the CIA) were a tremendous team, the hiccup was that they weren’t close. Yes, Nikita and Michael were intimate with one another. And, Alex and Nikita had grown to see each other as best friends. Michael and Alex’s relationship, on the other hand, remained strained. There were times when they acted like they were still a handler and a recruit. Nikita needed to fix that problem. Movie nights worked for her and Alex to bond, so why not a dinner night for the three of them to do so as well. In theory it was a great idea.

But in practice, it was awkward. With her signal jammer in play, they decided to eat at Nikita’s loft. The kitchen wasn’t necessarily a working one, so they ordered in. They had to eat at a makeshift table that they could all fit at, making their seating arrangement weird. A lull had fallen over the table as they ate. Hoping they would have something better to talk about, Nikita had banned shop talk. Yet the three only sat and stared at each other while eating. The silence consuming them was unbearable.

Michael broke the unpleasantness by clearing his throat, “So, Alex. How are things with Nathan?”

“You mean after that wonderful dinner you interrupted?” Her tone was ice. Michael attempted to look at Nikita for support, but she averted her gaze while taking a reassuring drink. Alex pressed into his discomfort, “We’re fine now. Had a nice long chat. Luckily, he doesn’t think I’m actually a prostitute.”

Almost spitting out her wine, Nikita glanced over at Michael in shock, “You told her boyfriend she was a prostitute?”

“What, no. I…” He stammered under the women’s intense gazes. Taking a steadying breath, he defended his actions, “I may have implied. But it was to keep both of you safe.”

Neither Alex nor Nikita could argue with that. They all knew what Division would do if Nathan was too involved in Alex’s life. The young woman acknowledged what Michael had tried to do for her, returning to her meal, “Don’t worry. I took care of it. Nathan’s not even mentioned on my file.”

Michael and Nikita shared a quick look. That wasn’t going to be the end of it. Her boyfriend was eventually going to pop back up on Amanda and Percy’s radar. But it wasn’t the time to bring it up. It was supposed to be a team bonding dinner. No planning, or danger, just fun. The three of them could manage that. They were actively taking down a secret black ops unit of the government. They could do anything. At least, they should be able to. 

After several more minutes of silence, Nikita chuckled. Michael and Alex tore their eyes away from their food, confused. She just shook her head, “Come on. There has to be something we could talk about. How about music? Or movies? Or sports?”

“You don’t watch sports,” Michael negated with a swig of his beer.

“Neither do you. But we can pretend like we’re normal.”

Alex burst out into laughter. The improvised dining table shook as she doubled over, “Since when is a woman who has stabbed a man with her heel normal?”

Proud, intrigued, and a tad turned on, Michael raked his green eyes over Nikita, “And here I was thinking that was just an empty threat you made to Birkhoff.”

“Oh, none of my threats to Nerd were empty,” She smirked around a bite of food, “But it doesn’t matter anyway. A heel’s not a good knife.”

“It worked great in a pinch.”

Michael shifted close to Nikita, whispering in her ear, “What other moves are you holding out on me?”

“You’ll find out,” Her brown eyes twinkled while the tease slipped out of her mouth. The couple grinned, giving one another a chaste kiss. 

Alex rolled her eyes, “See. Not normal.”

Whereas Nikita glared at the young woman, Michael flashed his trademark smirk. Alex didn’t cower under the gaze. She simply crossed her arms, and raised her chin in defiance. Nikita kept her eyes on her friend, picking up her fork, “You know, little girl. None of my threats to you were empty either.”

“Prove it.”

And so she did, by piling food on her fork and launching it at Alex. The food smeared across her nice clean shirt. Michael tried to hold back a laugh at the young woman’s shock. Nikita smiled satisfied, “That proof enough for ya?”

Immediately, Alex retaliated. Nikita was able to duck and dodge, but not Michael. Wiping the food off of his face, his expression was stern and irritated. Alex started to apologize, however, Nikita saw the mischief in his eyes. She didn’t have time to warn her friend before food was flying once more. That action started a war. Their dinner was abandoned, used as ammunition instead. The three laughed and smack talked their way through a messy battle, one that ended with no clear victor; they couldn’t care less.

Making fun of one another seemed to break the ice. Nikita, Alex, and Michael cleaned their destruction, continuing to banter. They had found common interests to converse about. Soon, those topics turned into more and more things to say. Talking and laughing, the tension and awkwardness from before seemed to never have existed. They were coming together as a team, and not just out in the field. The three learned about one another, as friends would do. They weren't secret agents for the moment. It was almost like they were a family. A strange family, but a family nonetheless.

As they finished cleaning, and settled in the so-called living room for a movie, Nikita found herself smiling. She wasn’t wrong, like she had feared. Sure, how they bonded went differently than she had originally planned. But it worked. The three of them weren’t just a team, they were friends. They were a family. Nikita’s heart soared at the thought.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An AU for season 3. Inspired by a comment on FanFiction that Amanda did something to Nikita in that chair, and Sean is still alive.

“You can’t save everyone.”

She hoped she wasn’t too late. She was racing back to Division, praying to whoever was listening that she would make it on time. Amanda had had her in her nasty clutches, and taunted her with news of dissension and Alex’s betrayal. But she managed to escape, somehow. The thought of what happened was a bit muddled, except she couldn't focus on that at the moment. Her friends needed her. She had to save them.

Frantically, Nikita burst through the carport. How she had gotten there in the stolen car, didn’t quite make sense. The sight before her, however, put an end to all of her thoughts. She was greeted by numerous black body bags waiting to be transported. She didn’t make it in time. No. She wouldn’t believe it. Though she had slowed to a stop at the sight before her, she pushed forward past them. If she reached ops, things would be better. She could explain Amanda’s devious plan, and how they could help Alex. Nothing was ruined yet; Nikita could still save her family. There was still a chance to ensure that they won.

The destruction in ops forced Nikita to stumble to a halt. Broken glass and bullet holes were everywhere. Monitors were busted, desks were upturned, and blood smeared the ground. Something bad happened there. And she was too late. Fear and horror gripped her stomach. No.

“No!” Alex’s heartbroken scream ripped Nikita out of her thoughts. Instantly, she turned to the young woman and sprinted towards her. Crouched over a dead body, Alex was weeping and trembling. She kept running unsteady hands over the body’s face and placing light kisses. When Nikita saw who was dead at her feet, she gasped.

Sean Pierce was lying lifeless on the ground. Her footsteps became unsure and sluggish. Despair weighed down her heart. She barely whispered as she made her final approach towards her friends, “Alex…”

Alex whipped around to face Nikita, tears shining in her bright blue eyes. She looked so shattered. Out of everything that she had survived, Sean’s death was the thing that broke her completely. Nikita attempted to reach for the young woman, to sooth her. But Alex yanked herself away, shaking her head vehemently, “No. Don’t you dare touch me.”

“Alex,” Crouching to her level, Nikita attempted again.

Not wanting her help, however, Alex shot to her feet. She moved as far away as she could from Sean and Nikita, “Leave me alone.”

The other woman went after her, like she always did. She wasn’t going to let her grieve alone. No one should’ve had to do that, “No.”

“Don’t you get it, Nikita? I don’t want your help! Not after everything you’ve done,” Whatever comforting words Nikita was going to say were destroyed by Alex’s shout. The tears continued to run down her reddened cheeks, but she was furious. 

“I don’t understand,” And she really didn’t.

“This is all your fault,” Alex waved a wild arm around the mess surrounding them. Despite the fact that her voice was tight and shrill, she wasn’t backing down. If anything, she was getting more worked up, “This is your damn crusade! It was always your mission to burn down Division and take out Amanda. And you brainwashed everyone into following you blindly. Now look, Sean’s dead! All because of you!”

Quickly, Nikita caught onto why Alex didn’t want her near. She was shifting blame, and it landed on her. What happened was a tragedy, one that made tears burn in Nikita’s brown eyes. But if it was anyone’s fault, it was Amanda’s. That bitch had screwed with them. She desperately wanted to break their family apart, and she was winning. They couldn’t let it stay that way, however, “No. Amanda’s to blame. She tortured you, planted false memories in your head. She’s the one who hurt you.”

“Stop it! She didn’t do anything to me. You did. You broke my heart,” Alex was frantic. Her eyes continuously swept the area, and her body was on guard. When she glanced at Sean once more, she seemed to sob even harder. With a pained outburst, she collapsed in on herself. Nikita was there to grab her as she fell, holding her tightly.

Alex’s words were full of hurt. They held no power other than to make people feel how she felt. Nikita knew that, and was able to push them aside. The only thing that mattered was comforting her friend. She could process her own feelings later. Alex was more important. Not that the young woman wanted her anyway. She pushed and shoved her way out of her arms, wiping furiously at her tears, “I said, leave me alone!”

“Alex, please,” Nikita reached for her one last time.

Pulling out a gun from the waistband of her jeans, Alex trained the sights on her friend. Nikita took a step back more out of confusion than worry- when had she gotten a gun. Although she was trembling, Alex still appeared deadly with the weapon in her grip, “You can’t save everyone, Nikita.”

She didn’t shoot her, however; she just pistol whipped her. Nikita crumbled to the ground. The last thing she saw before losing consciousness was Sean’s lifeless body.

Several hours later, Nikita groggily came to in a Division hospital bed. Her head was pounding, the harsh lights of the room not helping. A strange weight was pressing down on her arm. Through half-open eyes, she investigated what that could have been, “Michael?”

Her voice was hoarse and soft, but Michael snapped awake at the sound of it. Seeing Nikita conscious, he immediately grabbed a bottle of water for her to drink from. She tried to protest, yet it was in vain. When she had taken a few sips, he put the bottle back where it was. He grabbed her hand in his, pressing his lips to her knuckles, “Hey. How are you feeling?”

She could barely shake her head. Instead, she focused on attempting to get out of bed. Both Michael and her body were against her, though. She felt dizzy and sick. Her breath quickened at the exertion, so she collapsed back against the pillows. Fighting away the fog in her mind, she muttered “Where’s Alex?”

“She’s asleep next door,” Michael rubbed soothing circles into her skin.

“I have to talk to her,” Her attempt to sit up that time caused her head to swim and her ears to ring. She laid down against her will. Something was wrong. Getting hit with a gun shouldn’t have left her feeling weak and sick. She would know. Things weren’t as they seemed. She really needed to talk to Alex.

Michael sat by her hip on the bed, gently brushing her tangled dark hair out of her face. He was overtly tender and adoring with his movements. His green eyes were alight with concern and apprehension as he looked her over, “After you rest, okay. There’s still a lot of drugs in your system.”

“What?” As her mind struggled to catch up with his words, she had to close her eyes to focus, “Why would you drug me?”

“We didn’t, Nikita. Amanda did,” His voice was full of worry.

“No. I… I escaped. I came here and they were dead,” Nikita forced her eyes open to stare at Michael. She was growing agitated, “They’re all dead, Michael. I saw the body bags. And ops was destroyed. And Sean… Sean… oh God, Michael. I saw Sean die.”

Heavy tears fell. Despite his confusion, Michael caressed her cheek with one hand and held onto her waist with the other. While he spoke, his voice was soft, “Nikita. I brought you in about two hours ago. You were unconscious the whole time. Everything’s okay here. No one’s hurt. Amanda must’ve done something to you in that chair.”

Nikita didn’t believe him. It was real, she could feel how real it was. There was no way it was only in her mind, “No. No. I saw it. I didn’t get here in time. I couldn’t save Sean. I couldn’t save Alex.”

Wiping away the tears, Michael lightly shushed her, “Hey, hey. Just listen to me for a second. After Owen took you, Alex started spiraling. Talking about some woman named Larissa. Sean knew it was because of something Amanda did to her. So, Birkhoff looked the woman up and found no records of her. She never even existed.”

“Amanda told me she planted her in Alex’s mind to mess with her survivor's guilt,” Nikita took a deep breath and added.

Michael nodded, “Yeah, we figured when she kept talking about saving everybody. Sean did his best to explain to Alex what was going on. But in the end we had to drug her. We talked to the deserters, and calmed ‘em down a bit. I don’t know how well that’ll last though. I kind of ran out during the middle of it to follow up a lead about where you were.”

“But,” She had to sit up. He didn’t argue with her, and helped her recline upright against the pillows. Her mind was reeling with the information. Nikita couldn’t make sense of anything. She didn’t know whether to blame the drugs or the false memories. The pain, fear, and sorrow, felt all too real. Burning in her mind, the image of Alex sobbing over Sean’s dead body continued to break her heart, “Why would Amanda make me think all that.”

“To teach a lesson? To break your spirits? I just know that she didn’t want to let you go,” Michael hadn’t taken his hands off of Nikita since he lifted her out of that terrifying chair. Not that she was complaining. 

Although she wanted to say more, Sean walked into the room stealing her words, “Hey Alex is up. She wants to talk to Nikita.”

The woman in question was staring at the Navy Seal bewildered. It was one thing to hear it was all a lie, it was another to see it, “You’re actually alive.”

Sean looked to Michael for an explanation, but he simply shrugged. That worked as an answer for Sean, though, and he crossed closer to the pair, “Amanda really likes to fake kill people, huh.”

No one really laughed at the joke. Nikita continued to stare at Sean, studying him. It was him, it had to be. A serious expression settled into his features, and anxiousness shone in his eyes. His muscular body was leaned back towards the door, probably wanting to be back at Alex’s side. Her eyes weren’t betraying her. But, Nikita wanted to be one hundred percent certain Sean was there. So she pinched him, “It’s not a dream.”

Rubbing his sore skin, Sean glanced at her incredulously, “Aren’t you supposed to pinch yourself?” 

“Not if I wanna make sure you’re real,” Silence fell over the room at her words. They had tried for lightness, but that just wasn’t their reality. Amanda had gotten her claws in deep. 

“Why don’t you bring Alex and Birkhoff in here. We need to talk,” Michael instructed Sean; he willingly did as he was told. 

It was going to take time to get past where they were. They needed to talk as a family. No more attempting to go it alone; they didn’t need to. Nikita, Michael, Alex, Birkhoff, Ryan, Sonya, and Sean were all there. Doing anything by themselves would have been ill advised. They were all there together. Alex could heal, and Nikita could fight the mind bending images away with their family by their side. Amanda may have won multiple battles, leaving them battered and broken. But they would win the war. They had to. And with their whole family present, it would be a piece of cake.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set sometime in season 4. Inspired by my own childhood memories in St. Louis.

Nikita hung up the phone, staring at the wall ahead of her lost in thought. She wasn’t necessarily thinking about anything concrete. She just didn’t want to go back to sleep. It was tough enough sleeping in their airplane base, but add her recurring nightmares to the mix and it was near impossible. Luckily, Sonya and Alex were in a completely different time zone, so they were available to talk. Distractions didn’t last long enough, however. Nikita was forced to face the rest of the night alone with whatever demons were waiting for her. 

Or maybe not as alone as she had imagined. A soft voice across the plane startled her from her not so pleasant reverie, “Penny for your thoughts?”

She had to lean forward on her cot to see who had spoken. Even in the dark, she could see Ryan smiling at her from his own cot. Nikita rolled her eyes, and stumbled down the aisle to join him, “Just got off the phone with Alex and Sonya.”

“I heard the end of it,” Ryan scooted over to make more room for her. They settled next to each other, somehow finding comfort on the confining cot, “Apparently Sam makes a great body shield.”

“Oh, the best. I highly recommend it,” They kept their laughter light as to not wake the others. Well, as to not wake Birkhoff. The nerd was sound asleep on a pile of blankets in his makeshift Batcave. Michael wasn’t really sleeping; Nikita could see his tense body trying to rest on the cot. She knew he was only dozing. And the second the noises and movement around him changed, he’d snap upright. 

Ryan caught her staring at Michael, and reached for something under his cot, “Want to have some fun?”

As she turned to him slowly, confusion flashed across her features. But when she saw the alcohol bottle in his hand, she relaxed, “You’ve been hiding the good stuff from me, Fletch?”

“Never,” He twisted off the cap, and took a swig. Judging by his facial expressions it wasn’t anywhere near the good stuff. Nikita didn’t mind, however, drinking from the bottle also. The alcohol burned down her throat and heated her chest. Her nose stung as well, but that was probably because of the strong, sharp smell. A taste almost like gasoline was left in her mouth, and she fought the urge to cough it away. Despite all of that, she took a longer drink of the cheap, vile alcohol. Ryan was impressed when she handed the bottle back, “Remind me to never get into a drinking contest with you.”

Trying not to look back at Michael, Nikita shrugged, “Don’t get into a drinking contest with me.”

“So helpful,” Ryan coughed out after another shot. The two friends fell into silence while they continued drinking. Neither wanted to talk about why they were awake. Both knew it was for the same reason. Although the ‘wall of crazy’ was covered with a blanket at the moment, it continued to torment them. They had a million questions and theories, but no tangible evidence or answers. The team was running on fumes, headed towards a destination that wasn’t even on the map. Nikita's mind was circling, trying to work everything out. The Shop’s plans, Amanda’s involvement, and the safety of her family plagued her thoughts. Most prevalent, though, was Michael’s feelings.

When the airplane rocked with turbulence, her brown eyes landed on him once more. His back was towards her, but she knew the sudden movement had woken him. She wondered how many nights he had spent like that, not quite awake, not quite asleep. She wished she could crawl into that cramped cot with him, and settle his thoughts. But she couldn’t, or at least she shouldn’t. Nikita and Michael needed to talk, desperately. Where they stood together was awkward. The only way to clear it up was to have an actual conversation. However, there just wasn’t any time. They were bouncing around one minute to the next fighting their ever ongoing war. And when they did have a rare second of quiet, they weren’t alone. The plane didn’t allow for the solitude they needed. 

Sighing, Nikita gave up on drinking away her problems. She closed her eyes and crossed her arms, while she rested her head against the wall, “Ryan. Tell me about home.”

The suddenness of Nikita’s request caused Ryan to slosh the alcohol. He recovered quickly, and put the bottle back in its hiding spot, “What do you want to know about it?”

There was a long pause before she answered, “I don’t know. What’s at the end of all of this?” Her other question, ‘was it all worth it’, was left unsaid. Ryan understood what she had meant, though. He always did.

“A nice house in the suburbs, with a large yard and terrible neighbors that steal your mailbox,” Nikita chuckled, causing Ryan to smile and continue, “There’s also trees that can be climbed dangerously high. And a park across the street with a bike ramp you try to do a trick off of. But instead, you break your arm.”

“Sounds like a dream,” Lost in the image, she muttered.

Ryan closed his deep blue eyes also, recalling his time at home in St. Louis, “It is, Nikita. There’s so many family, friends, and dogs, you don’t know what to do. You fight and argue, sure. But you also create some of the best memories.”

“Like what?”

“Like when your baseball team wins the championship. And you all rush into the local pizzeria, stuffing your faces and playing arcades. Or when you, your brother, and your cousins are wrestling in the basement and something valuable breaks. So you all try to clean it up, but glass still ends up in your brother’s knee. And the first time you guys ever work together is lying to the parents about what actually happened,” He laughed at the long ago memories. They seemed to have occurred in a different life, to a different person. With everything he had been through in just the past few years, the normal, happy life appeared unreal.

Nikita laughed along with him. She settled soon, opening her eyes and glancing at him intently, “Is that what normal life is like? Family and friends to be an idiot with?”

Though she couldn’t help the quip, she was still serious. Ryan gave her his full attention, “As far as I can remember. Normal life allows you to be stupid.”

“God, I would love to not think for two seconds,” Smirking, she got to her feet and stretched her stiff muscles, “Maybe then I’d understand what it’s like to be Sam.”

“Damn, Nikita. That’s cold. Dissing the man when he’s not even here to defend himself.”

She simply shrugged, and he couldn’t find any reason to argue with her, “Anyway. Thanks for telling me about home.”

Following her onto his feet, he reached out to her for a hug, “Of course.”

The friends held one another firmly. They drank in the warmth and comfort of the other, relaxing in the strength they gave. After a long moment, they broke away from the hug but remained close. Nikita stifled a yawn, “I should probably go back to bed. That alcohol you gave me is no joke.”

“Yeah. Maybe next time I’ll grab something that’s more than six dollars,” Ryan admitted sheepishly.

Incredulously, she nodded, “Uh, yeah. You should.”

While they laughed softly one last time, they settled into their own cots. Nikita laid back against the pillow, more at peace than before. Her mind continued to think over the missing information, and how her family was fairing. Except, the anxiety that came with it was no longer choking her. She didn’t fear the pull of sleep and the nightmares that would surely come. She had the picture of a normal life to hope for, one where she was allowed to be happy and worry free with those she loved. A nice house with a huge yard, and terrible neighbors was ahead of her. There were an outrageous amount of obstacles to overcome to get there. But she could do it. She was Nikita after all. She could do anything. 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An AU set in season 3. Inspired by a comment on Fanfiction about Salex and an undetected pregnancy.

She couldn’t believe it. She didn’t want to believe it. Staring at the evidence right in front of her, she was shocked; she was more than shocked. It wasn’t possible. The facts didn’t add up. Well, they added up a little. But she didn’t want to accept that. Although she wanted to scream her objections, apprehension choked her voice. Stunned silence fell over her. A voice was speaking, yet it went unheard. The evidence was shrieking louder.

Alex had been at Nikita’s apartment during lunch, attempting to convince her best friend to do some sort of wedding planning. The monsters of the world could wait two seconds. There were more important things they could be doing. Alex thought she was wearing Nikita down, getting through to her stubborn ass. But then the pain started. Seizing her muscles, it was low in her abdomen. She tried to fight it off, except it was persistent. Alex pushed her food away from her, and clutched her stomach.

“Are you okay?” Nikita ignored her own lunch, coming around the table to see if there was anyway to help.

“Yeah. Yeah,” Strained, Alex waved her off, “I think it’s just cramps.”

As she moved to get aspirin, Nikita continued to glance cautiously at her, “Are you on your period?”

“No? I don’t know. My period has been weird the past couple of months,” Alex admitted, while the pain subsided for a moment. She blamed stress and her relapse for the absence of her menstruation. Helping run a black ops unit, and taking down rouge agents did wondrous things to her stress levels. She had been trying everything to manage it, but not much had worked.

“Tell me about it,” Bringing back water and pain meds, Nikita agreed, “I had those really bad cramps again a couple weeks ago.”

Nodding her thanks, Alex knocked back the aspirin, “You really need to go to the doctor. I don’t think those are normal.”

“Eh. I’ve survived worse,” She simply shrugged and smirked. 

“When you die, it’ll be your fault,” The words were supposed to be light and sarcastic. However, pain weighed them down. Alex squeezed her blue eyes shut, holding her breath against the discomfort. She felt Nikita crouch down beside her. Her friend tucked her wavy brown hair behind her ear, and rubbed soothing circles in her back.

“Hey. Breathe through it. Relax,” Alex followed the instructions with a shaky breath. Nikita continued to comfort her until the pain vanished again, and she was able to open her eyes and look at her, “You sure it’s not your period?”

The only thing Alex was sure of was that whatever was happening was not right, “I don’t usually get cramps like this.” 

Nikita stared at the young woman’s lower abdomen, a strange expression crossing her features, “It might be your appendix. We need to get you to a hospital.”

Panic overcame Alex, while she watched Nikita get ready to leave. She stayed rooted in her seat, “Wait. I can’t go to the hospital. Amanda could trace us there, right. I’d rather die than endanger all of us like that.”

For a moment, the woman paused thinking her options over. She came to a conclusion, pulling Alex to her feet, “Division doctors it is.”

“Do they even have the equipment for this,” She was stalling and she knew it. She had heard how terrible appendicitis was. And she was afraid of the surgery and recovery. She didn’t want to be tempted by pain pills, She also didn’t want to sit out on the sidelines anymore. Her team needed her in the field. Alex couldn’t stand the idea of being a liability again. Another round of intense throbbing put an end to her fight, however.

“We’ll find out,” Nikita helped Alex out of the apartment and into the car. She called on the road to Division, alerting medical to Alex’s needs. Doctors, and Sean, were waiting for them in the carport. The pain had more or less stopped by the time they arrived. There were only small spasms in her abdomen remaining. Despite that, Sean very carefully walked Alex down to medical as Nikita went to alert ops of the situation. His grip was strong, and anxiety clouded his eyes. She wanted to reassure him, but doctors were asking her a lot of questions.

Getting to a room was a blur. One of the doctors was saying something about an ultrasound to examine the affected area. But Alex was distracted by Sean’s concern. She grabbed his hand in hers, grinning softly, “I’m fine. It doesn’t hurt anymore. It’s probably just nothing.”

It wasn’t just nothing. The ultrasound technician stared at the screen for a long time, before moving so Sean and Alex could see. Nikita was wrong about a burst appendix. And Alex was wrong about cramps. The image on the screen was proof that the world was one unexpected surprise after another. Gaping at each other, then at the screen once more, the couple were at a loss of words. The technician, however, launched into a thousand questions that Alex answered absentmindedly. She couldn’t take her eyes off of the grainy black and white image.

A doctor was called in, and started prepping for numerous tests that had to be done. Alex was talked through every single one, but she wasn’t paying any attention. Sean was ripped out of his own thoughts, when he was asked to leave to make things go smoother. He didn’t have it in him to argue. Distractedly, he headed to ops. He wasn’t planning to go there; he wasn’t planning on going anywhere. His feet led him while his mind wandered.

“Is Alex okay? What’s happening?” Nikita’s worried voice welcomed Sean into the room. He shook himself out of his reverie, glancing around to see various concerned faces looking back at him.

“They’re doing tests. She had braxton hicks,” Sean’s reply was distant, the facts not quite catching up to him yet.

Michael responded immediately, “What?”

On the other hand, Nikita eyed the two men in confusion, “What’s braxton hicks?”

“It’s false labor pains,” Michael sounded as bewildered as Sean looked, “But they usually happen in the third trimester.”

“Third trimester… Alex is pregnant?” Surprise, anxiety, and excitement flew out of Nikita’s mouth.

That seemed to shock Sean back to the present, and he smiled, “Yeah. We, uh, just found out.”

Birkhoff chimed in, pushing out of his computer chair, “Wait. You just found out she’s pregnant this late. Is that normal?”

He looked to Nikita who could only shrug. Michael had to be the one to shake his head, “Not usually no. Are you sure Alex didn’t know she was pregnant?”

“It’s possible,” Ryan shared his musings with the team, “It’s rare, but a pregnancy can go undetected. If a woman is in extreme stress, her body can hide the symptoms until she’s in labor. Or in this case, false labor.”

Whereas the team was answering some of his own questions, Sean was only half listening. He wasn’t stunned into silence anymore. He was elated. Alex was pregnant. He was going to have a child with the woman he loved. He had never thought of the idea before, but since it was there he couldn’t not see it. Raising a child with Alex filled him with so much joy he didn’t know what to do. He should talk to his girlfriend, that was what he should do. They needed to figure out some things. Having a baby was a monumental change to their lives. But they would work through it, together.

“I should go back to her,” Sean interrupted the others’ conversation, still smiling.

“Yes. Mommy and Daddy need to talk,” Nikita appeared to have moved past her initial surprise, and teased the two, “And then the best aunt and uncle in the world can share some words of wisdom. Michael is the baby expert, after all.”

Rolling his eyes, the baby expert smirked, “Of course I’ll help out in any way I can.”

“We all will,” Ryan added.

His team sounded their agreement, looking at him with support in their eyes. Sean nodded his thanks, and rushed back to Alex. Nikita, Michael, Birkhoff, and Ryan were probably continuing the baby conversation, working on a solution to a huge problem that was soon to arrive. Yet, he would focus on that later. Instead, he burst back into Alex’s room. 

She was sitting upright, pulling her shirt back down. She had just finished another test. Gazing at her boyfriend and his sudden appearance, she smiled brightly. A small grin had been on her lips, once she had moved past the disbelief. It wasn’t the best time to be pregnant. Rogues were still out there terrorizing them. The thought of being a liability to everyone caused her some serious anxiety, which she had to get under control. And the fact that she had gone so long without knowing, had her mind tangled up in knots- she would have to unpack that later. But she was happy nonetheless. 

Alex and Sean were having a baby. That idea had only been a faint hope in the back of her mind. It would’ve happened someday, when they led less insane lives. The universe had other plans for them, though. Not that she was going to complain too much about it. Her blue eyes shone with tears, and her smile somehow grew brighter, “We’re having a baby.”

Sean kissed her, expressing all his love through the affection, “We’re having a baby.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set post series, a little before the reunion fic idea I posted. Inspired by my thoughts on a Nikita pregnancy, and some more ideas on the reunion.

“Is that the answer you wanted?”

Nikita studied the test in her hand. She had thought she would’ve felt something at the result, but her mind was drawing a blank. It was as though she had short circuited, “I don’t know.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” Absentmindedly, she replied. Nikita kept staring, and kept trying to figure out what she felt. She had been outrageously stressed not five minutes before. Her period was late, and she felt unwell. A part of her rationalized that she had picked up the stomach bug Michael had. But another part of her was screaming in a panic about being pregnant. So, Nikita bought a test and Skyped Alex. She needed her best friend to listen to her rant, and to sit with her while she waited for a positive or a negative. 

Alex smiled after a long pause. Her words were reassuring, yet her tone was playful. “Well for what it’s worth, I think you’d make a great mom.”

Glancing up from the test, Nikita glared at the woman on the other side of the computer screen, “You’re so helpful.”

“What? It’s true,” She defended herself, laughing, “Michael would agree with me.”

“He’d agree with any positive thing you’d say about me,” Nikita shook her head as her thoughts drifted to her adoring husband. Michael was the president of the Nikita fan club. If he could compliment her or support her in every single thing she did, he would. She wasn’t sure how he'd react to the test’s results, though. She placed it on a tissue on her desk, and pushed it slightly behind her computer. She needed it out of sight, out of mind, for just a second.

Bright blue eyes alight with curiosity, Alex wondered, “Have you guys talked about having kids?”

“He knows I bought the test,” She tore her brown eyes away from the screen, while she deflected the question. Alex wasn’t going to let her get away with that. However, before she could call her best friend out, the computer froze. It buffered for a few seconds, then returned to normal. Not fazed by the disruption, Alex attempted to continue the conversation. Nikita simply took the opportunity to deflect again, “Where are you saving the world now?”

The woman on the computer appeared distracted by the question, like it caused her to become lost in thought, “Umm, Houston.”

Her one word answer was odd. Usually, Alex would excitedly talk about her work with the United Nations. Over the past six years she had traveled all over the world, speaking out against human trafficking and kicking it in the ass. Nikita and Michael had helped her on several occasions. So had Birkhoff and Sonya. They were always ready to pack up and ship out whenever she called. And that included when all she wanted of them was to come and visit. Although they were separated, more or less doing their own things as they saved the world, the team still had each other’s backs. When one called, another would answer no matter what.

“Look, Nikita. Umm, next week at family dinner we’ll talk about it. Face to face. Okay?” Alex shook off her distraction. Though concerned, Nikita sounded her agreement. Smiling again, Alex moved forward, “Anyway, back to the very important matter at hand. Have you guys considered making me an aunt?”

Nikita rolled her eyes, shoving her chair away from the desk. She got to her feet, and began to pace slightly, “It doesn’t matter if we’ve talked about it or not, because…”

“Because you guys are on the same page?” Alex couldn’t help herself from interrupting.

She stopped and glanced at her friend, choosing her words carefully, “Michael and I haven’t… we haven’t actually come to a conclusion about kids. Our talks don’t really go anywhere.”

“But you want them, right?”

“I’m pretty sure Michael does. I mean after Hailey and Max,” Nikita didn’t need to finish the thought. Alex knew what she meant.

Softly, she repeated the question that had been on her mind since she answered the Skype call, “Do you want to have a baby, Nikita?”

The woman in question sat on her bed, flopping down on her back with a sigh. She had been trying so hard to avoid answering her. She wanted to say ‘no’. In the past, she would’ve said ‘no’ effortlessly. Except, things were different. Sure, Nikita and Michael continued to fight crime and save the day. But they weren’t running from any shadowy organizations. They were free, and they were using their freedom to give others the same opportunity. They still had their quiet, normal days, ones where they’d enjoy life and each other. It was easy to think about the future and possibilities then, “I don’t know, Alex. I thought I didn’t. But now…”

“Wow. I didn’t know you were capable of changing your mind.” Alex scoffed.

“I’ll hang up on you,” While her friend laughed, Nikita’s phone vibrated in her pocket. She fished it out, reading the text, “It’s Michael. He’s almost home.”

Seeing her reply to the text, Alex shook her head vehemently, “What’s wrong with you? Don’t tell him over the phone.”

“I’m not. I’m just saying ‘okay’.”

Alex relaxed, taking her laptop with her as she moved from the desk to recline on the couch, “Good. Where is he anyway? I thought he would’ve wanted to be there.” 

“He did. But he had to pick up Barkhoff from the vet, and I couldn’t wait,” Nikita explained as she sat upright.

“Who the hell is Barkhoff?” Alex stared at her through the camera, absolutely perplexed.

Laughing at her confusion, Nikita sent her a quick text. She and Michael got a dog a couple of weeks prior on a whim. Well, for Michael it was spur of the moment. Nikita had crossed the animal shelter several times on her morning runs. Everytime she passed, she wanted to run in, grab a dog, and run out. But she knew she should’ve talked to her husband about it first. So, she dragged him out with her one morning and pouted until they went in. When they saw the shaggy dog, they fell in love, “We were gonna surprise you guys at dinner. But since you’ve already learned so much about me today. We got a dog.”

The ding on Alex’s phone could be heard through the computer speakers. She checked the message, immediately gushing over the picture of her friends’ dog, “Oh my God. He’s so cute. And with that hair and drool I completely understand why you named him after Birkhoff.”

“Speaking of Nerd,” Nikita smirked, “Have you guys talked after last family night?”

Her grin dropping, Alex gave her friend an intense glare, “When he apologizes.”

Before Nikita could say anything sarcastic in reply, she heard Michael entering their house with a giant dog right behind him. He called out for her and she told him where she was, getting back to her feet. Alex watched silently, while Nikita fidgeted with her wedding ring and became apprehensive again. She knew there was nothing she could’ve done to make Michael hate her, but she could still disappoint him. And she wouldn’t be able to bear it if she did.

Barkhoff came through the bedroom door first, excitedly jumping up for scratches. She pet him with a strained smile. She used the action to avoid her husband’s eye contact when he entered the room shortly after. Michael started towards Nikita, but Alex on the computer stopped him, “Uh. Hey, Alex.”

“Hey, Michael. We were just catching up. I’ll see you guys next week,” The woman tried her best to give her friend a pointed look, while she rushed to end the call. 

Nikita let out a long sigh. She still wouldn’t look at Michael. Letting go of her dog, she reached for the half-hidden pregnancy test. Michael crossed the rest of the way to her, reaching for her hand, “Nikita, are you…”

“No,” She showed him the negative sign, and pulled her hand away.

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” Finding herself staring down at the test again, Nikita could only shrug, “I should throw this away. It’s got my pee on it.”

Michael followed her as she tossed it, and washed her hands in their ensuite bathroom. He gently placed a hand on her waist, turning her to face him, “Hey.”

“Are you disappointed?” Nikita blurted, her brown eyes searching his green. To her relief she didn’t see sadness in his eyes, or anger. He looked surprised by her question. So she clarified, “It’s just, I know how much you want kids.”

His reassurance was immediate. He tucked her dark hair behind her ear, caressing her soft cheek, “But it’s not the only thing I want. If you don’t want a baby, then I’m happy with just a dog. Even with his terrible name.”

Taking his hand in hers, Nikita played with his wedding ring. That was the farthest they had ever gotten in their baby talk. One of them would’ve changed the subject by that point. Or something came up that they had to instantly take care of. She had to fight to find the words she wanted to tell him, but had never been able to before, “Maybe I want a baby. With you. In the not too distant future.”

It wasn’t the best articulation, but it was the best Nikita could do. Honestly, she was overwhelmed by the idea of parenthood. She wasn’t convinced she could be a mother, despite what Alex and Michael said. And her life was an unmanageable mess at times. Saying ‘no’ to the idea, however, didn’t feel right. Not with the love of her life by her side, the family they built around her, and the freedom they won supporting her. If she were to have a child, that moment would be the perfect time. She was surrounded by love, and she was never alone. She could do it. She was simply too apprehensive to say ‘yes’ just yet.

Flashing a smile that sparkled his green eyes, Michael squeezed her hand in comfort, “Maybe sounds perfect.”

Husband and Wife kissed each other sweetly. As they attempted to deepen the kiss, though, their dog whined. Chuckling, they broke apart and followed his request for food. They’d talk more later. They’d talk about their future, and how they would achieve it. Together, the two would come up with some tangible answers. But for the moment, the couple would play with their dog and make each other laugh. And it was perfect.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set throughout season 2. Inspired by the fact that they all lived together that year, and college like shenanigans had to have happened.

Michael and Nikita managed to make it to the bedroom at least. The door had barely closed when their lips were on each other’s, and their clothes were being ripped off. They had spent most of the afternoon sparring. All that grappling, touching, and teasing eventually caused them to hurry to the privacy of their bedroom. Rapidly standing in her underwear, Nikita pushed a similarly clad Michael to the bed. He propped himself up on his elbows, smirking as she sauntered to him predatorily. While she straddled his hips and ground down, he held securely to her waist and kissed her thoroughly. The couple were suddenly lost in the heat and passion of the moment.

They didn’t notice the lights dimming on their own, or the music starting to play. Attempting to yank off sweaty underwear was their only priority. But as the music got louder, it became harder to ignore. Nikita broke from the kiss with panted breath, glancing at her boyfriend, “I didn’t turn any music on.”

“And I didn’t dim the lights,” Sitting upright, Michael admitted. Whereas she shrugged it off, gyrating her hips and capturing his moan in her mouth, he found the situation odd. She was distracting him nicely, though. A short time later, he flipped them so that she was on her back. Her brown eyes sparkled as she looked up at him and smoothed his tousled dark hair. He smiled adoringly, and kissed her tenderly. 

The lyrics of Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get It On”, however, interrupted Michael and Nikita’s touching moment. The mystery of the lights and music was solved; they separated with a sigh. He untangled himself from her grasp, adjusting his boxer briefs, “Hold on. I’ll be right back.”

“Trust me. I’m not going anywhere,” Scooting up on the bed, Nikita replied seductively. 

He gulped at her tone, but he had a mission to complete first. She watched him leave the room, and heard him stomp down the hall. His voice was gruff as he shouted, “Birkhoff.”

“Yes?” Nerd’s smugness rang loud and clear. It immediately turned to fear at one look at Michael, “Okay, Mikey. I’m turning it off. It’s off. It’s off.”

Sure enough, the lights came back on and the music stopped. Michael returned to the room, his frustrations melting at a grinning Nikita. She giggled when he excitedly scrambled to join her on their bed. They kissed deeply, their underwear successfully coming off that time around. Birkhoff’s annoying prank was quickly forgotten. The two had more important things to think about.

* * *

Taunting voices from the kitchen brought Michael out of the bedroom. He was unpacking after his latest mission, but the excitement in the other room drew his attention. Although, he wasn’t sure what he was going to find, it certainly wasn’t expecting that. Nikita, Alex, and Birkhoff were standing at the counter, their hands clasped behind their backs. Each of their hairs were tied up out of their face. And napkins were tucked into the collars of their shirts. Michael could only stare perplexed. 

“You two are going down. On three,” Shifting her feet into a better position, Nikita commanded the other two, “One.”

“As if,” Alex rolled her bright blue eyes and cracked her neck, “Two.”

“Get ready to feel the pain, girlies,” Birkhoff mocked, stretching out his jaw, “Three.”

The three of them dived face first into their own piece of cake on the counter. They ate the dessert hands free, and got food everywhere. Michael didn’t know what to think. Knowing those three, they were probably doing some kind of contest. If they were competing for money or pride, he wasn’t sure. He just moved towards them in bewilderment, “What the hell?”

“Shut up, Mikey,” Around frosting, Birkhoff choked out. He needed to concentrate. Glancing at Alex’s and Nikita’s plates, he realized he had fallen behind. He could not lose to them; he would never hear the end of it.

Michael closed in on his girlfriend and friends, studying the action. Nikita and Alex were neck and neck, with Nerd surprisingly in last place. It was possible that he was too full of energy drinks to really eat. Near the end of her piece, Nikita started to giggle. The ridiculousness of the situation caught up to her. She laughed through bites of cake, which made Alex laugh along with her. The woman giggled and ate, choking down the food. Alex eventually collapsed in a fit of joy, her nose smearing with the frosting left on her plate. Birkhoff rolled his eyes, and pushed forward. 

The last bite going down hard, Nikita shouted and raised her hands in triumph. Birkhoff was still chewing his own last bite, and angrily ripped the napkin out of his shirt. He was so close, yet so far from the prize. Nikita danced around the two losers, trying to wipe away the mess on her face, “Pay up, suckers.”

Alex had ceased laughing, but she was smiling as she cleaned her face and handed over cash from her pocket. Meanwhile, Birkhoff grumbled at the loss of money, “Your piece had less frosting.”

“Suck failure, Nerd,” Nikita smirked, counting her earnings before pocketing it.

After the bragging and groaning was done, Michael dared to speak again, “Can I ask ‘what the hell’ now?”

“I bought a cake for everybody. And we somehow made a bet to see who could eat a slice the fastest without a fork,” As she scrubbed at the sugary confection on her nose, Alex explained.

The man could only nod in acceptance. Nikita gave him a satisfied grin, shoving lightly at a grumpy Birkhoff. He tried to retaliate, but she dodged him nimbly coming closer to Michael. Indicating the food left around her mouth, he closed the gap between them, “You, uh, got something there.”

“You can clean it off for me,” Nikita looked him over suggestively.

Throwing her napkin at the couple, Alex left the kitchen, “I’m not sticking around for this. Imma shower.”

Birkhoff muttered his own excuse to leave the couple as well. Michael and Nikita ignored their friends, lost in each other’s eyes. He wiped off the last of the cake and frosting slowly, his green eyes never leaving her brown. Once the dessert was gone, their lips met in a loving kiss. The sugar wasn’t the only thing that made the affection extra sweet.

* * *

Nikita and Alex had hunkered down in the young woman’s room, watching a movie on a laptop. Alex needed comfort after everything that occurred in Russia and with her mom, and Nikita was happy to be there for her. Sitting on the bed in companionable silence, they shared a blanket and a bowl of popcorn. Nikita shifted her position to get more comfortable halfway through the movie. However, she ended up falling off the mattress a bit.

Glancing at the bed that wasn’t quite flushed against the wall and her best friend, Nikita wondered, “Why’d you pull your bed over here?”

Alex noticed her predicament and shrugged, “If I put it completely against the wall, then I can’t make the bed. But I can still sleep on my side and not worry about monsters grabbing me from behind.”

She said it lightly, making a childlike joke about things that go bump in the night. Except, Nikita could hear the strain in her voice. Nightmares and demons were more prevalent at night, and any little thing helped to drive them away. She placed a comforting hand on her knee, squeezing her support. After a second though, a shit eating grin overcame Nikita’s face, “You know, if you slept with Sean you wouldn’t have to worry about any monsters.”

Shoving her playfully, Alex made a face of annoyance. Nikita let out a small shriek as she fell completely off of the bed. There was a brief pause, the two women letting the realization of what just happened sink it. Then, they began to laugh uproariously. Collapsing in giggles, Alex got to her knees to see if her friend was alight, “Are you… are you okay?”

Nikita nodded, wiping her joyful tears. She eyed the copious contents under the bed, and wondered just how much stuff Alex was hoarding. Blue fabric caught her eyes, so she reached for it. It was a pair of jeans that were missing the back pockets. Laughing harder, she almost yelled, “Why are there assless chaps under the bed?”

“I was making crafts,” Alex defended through giggles, and pointed to the abandoned project next to Nikita. The two women kept laughing, even as Alex helped Nikita out from under the bed and back on top of the mattress. Movie forgotten, they moved to jokes and continued their joy. It took their minds off of their problems, especially Alex. She got lost in her fun with her best friend. The mixed feelings she had about her mother, and the nightmares that resurfaced from Russia were pushed from her mind. All that existed was the happy moment with Nikita. 

* * *

Sean was certain everytime he and Alex had a moment alone together at the beach house, he could hear George Michael’s “Careless Whisper”. It was faint, but he was sure it was there. Alex never knew what he was talking about, though. She thought he was going insane. Except, the song was playing. He would bet all of his money on it. 

They were getting comfortable on the couch, Sean working up the nerve to scoot closer to Alex. Something more had developed between them recently, and he desperately wanted to develop it further. Then, the damn song began with it’s ominous saxophones. Sean shot to his feet, frustrated. He looked to Alex, who appeared to have actually heard it that time. She stood also, scanning the room for the source of the noise.

“Maybe you’re not crazy,” Searching for a hidden speaker, Alex snarked. Sean rolled his eyes, and threw couch cushions. 

Their search had grown useless, the song continuing to play. Sean huffed, “This isn’t funny anymore.”

“Is listening to 80s sax jams ever funny?” She continued to smirk, giving up the search and accepting her fate. But the Seal wasn’t going to give in. He had put up with the joke for too long. He just wanted a quiet moment with the woman he had strong feelings for. But in that house, with those people, it was highly unlikely. Eventually the song ended, and he was able to relax.

“Finally,” Sean beamed at Alex, walking towards her, “We’re saved.”

Though she rolled her eyes, she grinned. Alex moved even closer to Sean, opening her mouth to say something. Yet, Nikita and Michael came bursting into the room. Sean gave up on ever trying to have a moment of peace with Alex. It was of no use. The young woman took a step back from him, turning her attention to her two friends, “What’s up?”

“We need to get back at Nerd,” Nikita commanded stiffly.

Looking to Michael for an explanation, he crossed his arms tightly over his chest, “He keeps fucking with the audio in our room.”

“So it’s not just us,” Sean was continuously relieved that “Careless Whisper” was not a figment of his imagination. They huddled together in solidarity, while Nikita immediately launched into a battle plan. Each of them had a mission, securing that Birkhoff got the pay back he deserved. It was a threefold attack. Alex would strike first with a spill of energy drinks on his keyboard. Then while he was distracted, the two Navy men would hide numerous speakers throughout the little tech nerd’s room. Nikita would deliver the coup de grace by blasting Khia’s “My Neck, My Back (Lick It)” while he was passed out for the night.

With four top secret agents executing the plan, all went smoothly. During the middle of the night, Nikita hooked her phone up to the bluetooth speakers. A wicked grin pulled at the corner of her lips, as she hit play. She and Michael could hear the song all the way in their room. Even Alex and Sean could hear it in their respective bedrooms. Birkhoff’s startled shout followed the beginning of the music. Soon came a string of curses directed at all of them. They laughed and cheered at their retaliation, reveling in their victory. There sure was never a dull moment with all of them all together.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set during 2x19 "Wrath" before the very end of the episode. Inspired by comments on Fanfiction about the assless chaps and Sean.

Despite the blinding flash of warning outside her window, Alex jumped at the crack of thunder. It seemed to shake the house with its booming vibrations. She breathed deep to settle her racing heart. The raging storm pelted the house with rain, and caused the waves to beat the shore. Even before the lightning and thunder started, Alex had been forced awake. She had never been a huge fan of storms, especially when lightning struck so closely to the house. Her dislike had only seemed to grow over the past couple of years. Every light in her bedroom was turned on as a result, and she sat cross legged on the floor facing the door. 

Scraps of jean fabric were in her lap, needle and thread in her hand. Since Alex was the only one awake in the middle of the night, she figured she could get some crafting done. It was a lame hobby she had picked up to settle her wandering mind. She wasn’t any good at it; she hadn’t finished a single craft. But it was something to do with her hands. The needle pricked Alex’s finger for the upteenth time, causing her to sigh in frustration. Stitching flesh was substantially easier than sewing jeans. Alex paused at that thought. Never in a million years should she have ever thought that. Yet there she was. It was disturbing.

Footsteps creaking outside her door saved Alex from figuring that out. She unfurled her cramped legs and rushed to see who else was awake. It had to have been Nikita. The woman hated storms as much as Alex did. And after recent events, she probably wasn’t going to sleep anytime soon. But when Alex opened the door, Sean Pierce on the other side of it.

He was walking down the hall, going back to his room with a glass of water from the kitchen. He appeared exhausted. Dark purple smudges were under his puffy eyes, his dark hair was unkempt, and his clothes were askew. It was as though he had fought with sleep and tragically lost. Sean didn’t notice Alex studying him in concern. He was focused on returning to his room, hopelessly lost in thought.

Before he got too far, Alex called to him, “Hey, Sean. Are you okay?”

Her voice startled him. He paused the shuffling of his feet, and glanced at her mournfully. He opened his mouth to say something, but changed his mind. Dropping his head, Sean continued his slow trek back to bed. Alex couldn’t leave him like that. Her heart broke at the sight of him so dejected. Quickly, she caught up to him and gently tugged on his strong bicep, “Come on. You shouldn’t be alone.”

Sean didn’t have any fight in him. He willingly let Alex drag him to her room. She closed the door behind them, and softly pushed him to sit on the bed. He drank his water, avoiding her worried blue eyes. She gave him empathetic peace for the moment, hoping that when he was ready to talk he would. Alex focused on cleaning up the sewing on the floor, giving up once again on crafting. There were more important matters to attend to.

“I’m going to her grave in the morning,” Strained, Sean eventually whispered. 

Alex turned her attention back to him, smiling understandably. He didn’t exactly say whose grave, but she knew. He had tried to work past the pain of losing his mother, revenge solely on his mind. Once that was complete, he allowed himself to feel the unmeasurable grief. It seemed to have hit him hard, echoing the violent storm still tormenting the beach outside. Alex placed a comforting hand on his knee. She ran her fingers over the fabric of his pajama pants soothingly.

“I’ll go with you,” After a moment, Alex replied. She didn’t leave it up to debate. She was going to be there to support him, and he just had to accept it. Sean drank the rest of his water, nodding.

Giving his knee one more squeeze, Alex moved to hide away her crafts. She had picked up the bad habit of shoving things under her bed from living on her own for the first time in that Division apartment. It seemed to be a safe place to hoard things. It was out of the way, and easily accessible. Under the bed was not a great hiding spot, so no valuables were there. But for things she didn’t particularly care for, she could throw it under there and move on. 

The Seal curiously watched the young woman. He cleared the shed tears from his throat, and wondered, “What were you doing awake?”

“I can’t sleep during storms, so I decided to finish my craft,” Alex explained simply.

“You craft?” Some of the light in Sean’s eyes returned at the thought. A tiny grin pulled at the corners of his full lips, making Alex grin in return. 

She showed him the mess of thread and fabric left in her hand, shrugging, “It seemed like a good hobby. I saw a video of someone turning the back pockets of old jeans into a pouch. And I thought I could make a little ammo pouch or something.”

Saying her idea outloud, Alex realized how foolish it sounded. A blush crept up on her cheeks, and she went to throw the offending object away. Sean stopped her, placing down his glass and hopping off the bed. He grabbed the thing from her hands, “Your stitches are better than your sewing, but it’s not bad. I’m just surprised you ripped up your clothes for this, Princess.”

He was smirking, which was the closest to a smile he had given since the explosion. Alex relaxed at the sight of it, smirking as well. She grabbed the rest of the fabric from under the bed. The pocketless jeans that Nikita lovingly called ‘assless chaps’ when she had found them, were definitely not Alex’s. They were too big and dingy to have been, “I would never. These are Birkhoff’s.”

“You stole from the nerd?” Sean was impressed. Being with Alex was helping him cope far better than isolating himself from the world. In the past he would have his Seal team to rely on. But he couldn’t exactly go to them with the particulars of what happened. His mother heading a black ops unit of the government that had gone rogue and he had to help burn down, wasn’t a fact to share with just anyone. But he had a new team, well the beginnings of a new team. Sean was starting to come to the conclusion that they would support him just the same, if not more so.

“He was gonna toss them anyway,” Alex downplayed the action with a shrug. She was glad she was easing some of Sean’s emotions. She knew what it was like to lose a parent tragically. It was harrowing, and easy to get lost in the darkness of it. Being around others who cared for you and loved you helped to process your feelings. After years of going it alone, Alex eventually found Nikita to rely on. She hoped Sean didn’t wait that long to know that she was there for him.

“Can I see them?” Sean reached for the destroyed jeans. She gave them to him, as he handed back the sewing project. With a twinkle in his eyes, he looked the pants over, “You know I always wanted to be a cowboy?”

“You, Boy Scout?” In disbelief, Alex scoffed.

Sean rolled his eyes, “The catching bad guys part. Not the stealing horses part.”

That made more sense. Alex breathed out a laugh, “Well now you have your own pair of assless chaps.”

“You think they’d fit?” His tone was light and teasing. He looked over Alex more than he did the jeans. She was smiling at him, her blue eyes shining. 

“There’s only one way to find out,” Alex threw aside the scraps, placing her hands on her hips as she looked daringly at Sean. He accepted the challenge, and wiggled into the jeans. It was awkwardly placed over his pajamas, and the pants weren’t quite his size. But he made the best of it. He gave Alex a little twirl to show off his new threads. She burst out into laughter. He couldn’t help but laugh along with her.

“So, what do you think?” He turned to inspect the assless part of the chaps for himself.

Alex found herself staring at his ass that stuck out, not able to pull away, “You’d make a great honeytrap.”

The words were meant to be teasing, yet they came out thick. Sean noticed the desire in her voice, and brought his eyes to connect to hers. He was drawn by the look she gave him, and he returned the gaze. Everything else seemed to melt away as they stared at one another. They moved closer together without thought, and the air grew heavy. There was a reason they were both awake and sharing comforting company. That was forgotten when their eyes drifted down to their lips. Alex and Sean were usually experts at pulling away while they were swept up in that certain moment. However, in the middle of the night with emotions already ragged, it was impossible. 

They kissed sweetly at first. The affection was tender and hesitant. Neither was sure if that was what the other really wanted. Soon they came to the realization that it was, and the kiss deepened. Just as it was getting good, though, there was a knock on the door. Alex and Sean separated quickly. The young woman cleared her breathless throat, and addressed their intruder, “Uhh, yeah?”

As the door was opening, Sean remembered the jeans around his hips. He was taking them off when Michael’s head popped through the crack in the doorway. Although he noticed the two panting, wearing odd clothing, and trying to avoid eye contact, Michael wisely decided to ignore it. He quietly explained his sudden presence, “I saw your light on, and wanted to see if Nikita left her blanket in here.”

It took Alex a couple seconds to catch up to his words. Nikita liked to curl up in the heavy, fluffy blanket whenever she was upset. She had brought it over to Alex’s room during their movie night the other day. She grabbed the warm blanket off of her bed, and handed it to Michael, “How is she?” 

Michael only gave her a look, closing the door as he left. Nikita hadn’t said a word since they brought her home from Brant’s. She seemed to have crawled into a deep, dark corner of her mind, and remained there. After the torture she went through, Alex couldn’t blame her. She returned her attention to Sean, who had removed the assless chaps. They stood in awkward silence, unsure of how to proceed after their interrupted kiss. 

Sean made to leave, but Alex couldn’t have that. She didn’t want him to go just yet. She stopped him with a quiet suggestion, “Do you want to watch a movie?”

“Yeah. I’d love that,” Relaxing at her offer, Sean smiled. The two settled on her bed together, watching a distracting movie on her laptop. Alex and Sean were cuddled close to each other, but for once they weren’t shy at the contact. They settled into it; the feelings and thoughts that had kept them awake disappeared.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set during season 1. Inspired by my Agent Carter rewatch (I know, just bear with me).

“We gotta stop meeting like this,” Nikita feigned bravado as she stared down the barrel of a gun. Her heart was racing and her breath came out in heavy huffs. It had been a night of close calls, and it wasn’t getting any better. Michael eyed her over the pistol, trying to suppress the amusement her quip brought. A furious scowl was forced onto his features. He wasn’t going to give in to her that time. Michael had Nikita dead to rights.

The mission was fairly standard before then. Alex debriefed Nikita over the details shortly after she had been. Division was going after some foreign dignitary, or something or ever, so it was up to the two women to save the day- just a typical Friday night. Nikita did her regular recon and mission prep, not expecting much more than usual. Her weapons packed and plans (and backup plans) made, she was ready to kick ass and take names. She arrived at the hotel with ease, and mere seconds ahead of the Division strike team. All she had to do was grab the dignitary, explain the situation, and bring her to safety before the team could roll out. It seemed like a simple operation.

Except, that was far from the truth. The dignitary was too smart for her own good, which is what you want in a leader, but not so much in a target. As Nikita was sneaking into the hotel suite, she overheard the bodyguards talking. Apparently the dignitary discovered their plot to have her killed, and she disappeared. Rolling her eyes and sighing in frustration, Nikita immediately went into search mode. She was at a disadvantage compared to Division. The black ops unit had their very own twenty-four/seven tech support. Whereas they could scour camera footage for their target, she had to play hide and seek. She could only hope that the dignitary hadn’t left the hotel.

Voices from annoyed hotel guests the floor below told Nikita that Division was well aware of the situation. It was possible that they weren’t having any luck with the security feed, and they were searching old school. The dignitary must have avoided being spotted. If she was clever enough to discover her assassination attempt, then maybe she was clever enough to dodge cameras. Despite being irritated with the hunt, Nikita admired the woman. When she found her, she wouldn't snap at her as harshly for running.

Nikita was better at discreetly searching the hotel than Division. Granted, they were more than likely masquerading as federal agents for better access. But for that plan to work, they had to be loud and brash. She was able to track their movements effortlessly. Her worry about being discovered by Division was pushed aside. She just had to focus on finding that damn dignitary. She searched through the typical hiding places first: laundry room, service elevators, supply closets. They were all dead ends. For a split second, Nikita thought the dignitary could have been a spy. It would have explained the hit placed on her head, and her Houdini act. If that were true, however, finding her was going to be a thousand times more difficult. 

Debating about checking out the hotel gym, Nikita did a fast check down a hallway. She watched a maid leave her cart outside of a room, only grabbing what she needed to clean it. To Nikita’s knowledge, the strike team was busy going door to door in other halls. She should be safe. Her feet were fast and light, carrying her quickly across the empty floor. She made it to the end of the hallway no problem. When she scanned the area again before heading towards another floor, the door to the stairwell creaked open. Nikita reached for the gun in the waistband of her jeans. Awaiting the fight, her body tensed. 

The dignitary poked her head out of the doorway. She looked left to right, then escaped the safety of her temporary hiding spot. Nikita relaxed her grip on her weapon. One look at the woman and she knew she wasn’t a spy. The dignitary was just that smart. Since there was no time to waste, Nikita hurried towards her, “Hi, Ms. Jordan. Big fan of your work. Now, come with me if you want to live.”

“What?” The dignitary was frazzled enough. Nikita wasn’t helping. But she didn’t have time to explain who she was. Ominous heavy footsteps echoed down the stairs; Division was coming towards them. Nikita grabbed Ms. Jordan’s bicep, yanking her down the hall. The woman wanted to fight against the rogue agent, yet her grip was ironclad. Luckily, the maid also left her all access key on her abandoned cart. Nikita grabbed it in a flash, and hurried into the closest room without a ‘do not disturb’ sign.

Right before Division swarmed the hallway, the door slammed shut. The hotel room was a mess, but it was empty. That was all Nikita could’ve hoped for. She scrambled over the sheets and towels thrown on the floor, wondering if the window would open. If so, then maybe they could climb out of it. Ms. Jordan wasn’t having any of that, however. She glanced between the agent who grabbed her and the people thundering around outside, “What the actual hell is going on?”

“We’re still trying to survive your assassination attempt. Remember?” Nikita gave up on the window, and looked around for some other way out.

“We? Oh no. How do I know you’re not a part of this?” Ms. Jordan crossed her arms across her chest in defiance.

Sighing and rolling her eyes, Nikita deadpanned, “I’m too pretty to be with them.”

As if to emphasize her point, a strike team member banged on the door. Nikita shoved Ms. Jordan into the bathroom, ignoring her protests. She readied for a fight once more, and waited for the Division lackey to burst down the door. Whoever it was had a key, so they didn’t really burst in. But, Nikita still pulled them into the room by the wrist, twisted their arm behind their back, and closed the door with their body. It all happened in a blink of the eye. A moment had to pass first before both Nikita and the lackey knew who each other were.

“Nikita?”

“Alex?”

Nikita let Alex go, relaxing at the sight of her friend. Alex calmed as well, and massaged her sore arm, “Was wondering when I’d run into you.”

“Had to pick something up first,” Nikita opened the door to the bathroom, and addressed the dignitary, “And before you say anything. She’s too pretty to be with them too.”

Alex shot Nikita a look while Ms. Jordan exited the bathroom, appearing defeated. She glanced between the two women with pleading eyes, “Please. I just want to survive the night, and go home.”

“We will keep you safe. I promise,” Smiling reassuringly, Alex rested a comforting hand on the older woman’s shoulder. That seemed to do the trick, and Ms. Jordan nodded. Nikita stood on her tiptoes, peering outside through the peephole. Division hadn’t finished the sweep of the area. They were stuck in the room.

While Nikita turned to share her concerns with Alex, the young woman held up a finger and tapped her ear. Someone was talking to her through the coms. After a moment, she shared what it was, “They wanna know why I haven’t finished with the room yet.”

The three had to think fast. Spotting Alex’s pistol, Nikita thought the fastest. She grabbed the gun without a word, and marched back towards the window. She shot at the glass until it shattered. Alex and Ms. Jordan stared at her in bewilderment. Nikita only shrugged, tossing over the weapon and taking hold of Ms. Jordan, “Just tell ‘em the truth.”

She clambered out onto the ledge of the building, leading a hesitant dignitary. To her credit, she didn’t shriek in fear at the height or at the small ledge. She and Nikita inched along the edge so that they were out of view of the window. The agent stopped them from going too far, and they could hear Division swarming into the room. Alex recovered herself, hiding her emotions as she faced the strike team, “Thank God you’re here. Nikita has the target. I engaged, but they escaped out the window.”

One of the team members stepped closer to the window to see the evidence for himself. Alex’s voice stopped him, “Don’t bother. Nikita had a grappling hook, and I saw them go up towards the roof.”

A pause of uncertainty overcame the room. Yet Alex was quick to quell their suspicions, “What, you don’t believe me? She can take out an entire room of Division agents, but she can’t climb the side of a building? Seriously, why would I even lie for her? Do you know what she has done to me? If I ever get my hands on that bitch, she’d wish I took her to Percy.”

Her harsh, bitter tone convinced the strike team, and they rushed out shouting commands. Nikita and Ms. Jordan managed to slip back into the room without much difficulty. Alex had left with the rest of Division, leaving the two to themselves. The rogue agent led the dignitary down, away from the threat. They ended up in the parking garage, which was full of many different cars to steal. Nikita picked the most nondescript one to break into and hotwire. Instead of hopping into the driver’s seat, however, she held the door open for Ms. Jordan, “There’s a police station around the corner. You go there. I'll distract them here.”

After their experiences together, Ms. Jordan knew better than to question her methods. She got into the car, and sped off. She was able to slip past the front entrance to the garage, Division not paying much attention to a single passenger vehicle. Nikita ran out the back, with her gun in hand. The exit dumped out into an alleyway. She didn’t bother checking the area before she sprinted down it. Getting caught would mean her diversion could work and Ms. Jordan was safe.

“Drop the gun and get down on the ground,” Michael’s smokey voice soon boomed after her.

Nikita didn’t do any of those things. She whipped around to train her pistol on him, noticing his own was trained on her. She smirked, “We gotta stop meeting like this.”

“Where is she, Nikita?” Always so serious, Michael took cautious steps towards her.

“We got separated. She’s a smart cookie, that one. I see why Division wants her dead,” Shrugging, Nikita moved to meet him halfway. He let out an annoyed huff, done with her opinions about the black ops unit. They stalked closer to the other, until they were barely five steps from one another. The two stared into each other’s eyes, as if they could glean what they were about to do next. Apparently Nikita did, because she lowered her gun and grinned softly, “You’re not gonna shoot me, Michael.”

Michael gripped his gun tighter, attempting to prove her wrong. But it was of no use. He wouldn’t shoot her. Flashing red and blue lights illuminated the alley, signalling the approaching cops. Ms. Jordan had made it to the police station. Both Michael and Nikita came to that conclusion while the sirens blared. Her grin turned smug, and he lowered his pistol in defeat. He silently watched her disappear into the shadows of the night yet again. But as she left, he could’ve sworn she blew him a kiss.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set post series, during the reunion timeline. Inspired by my ideas of the new big bad they are facing could be. Thanks so much for reading.

“Shit. Michael can you come sweep the kitchen?” Glancing down at the mess she tracked in, Nikita closed the sliding doors carefully. Their beach house was elevated, but that didn’t mean sand didn’t love to make its way up the stairs and inside. Normal people’s pests were termites and cockroaches, theirs was sand. Nikita didn’t help matters by traipsing around barefoot and forgetting to wipe her feet. It was a good thing Michael liked to sweep the house regularly. 

Nikita padded through the kitchen, setting down what she had brought in from outside on the counter. It was her and Michael’s turn to host their monthly family dinner. They had been preparing most of the day for their friends to arrive and for the circus to begin. The house was clean, except for the stupid sand that she left on the tile. Food was almost done cooking; Nikita just brought in the burgers, chicken, and mushroom patty off the grill. Barkhoff had been given an adventurous bath; that dog really loved to play in the ocean, then roll in the sand. And paper plates were bought; after a smashed dish last dinner, they decided to forego breakable items. All that was left to do, was wait.

Finishing the side dishes, Nikita turned off the stove and closed the fridge. She tidied the area, and unwrapped the paper and plastic ware. Barkhoff trotted into the kitchen, immediately sniffing the food he hoped someone would sneak him. Of the dog’s two owners, Michael was more likely to feed him from the table. He thought he was being sneaky about it, but Nikita always caught him. She found it too amusing to put a stop to it, though. 

Thinking of the devil, Michael’s smokey voice floated into the room, “Living room clear. Moving to the kitchen.”

“What?” Confused, Nikita called out. He was using his mission voice, as though he was speaking into a com. She moved to get a better look at the entryway, hoping to figure out what the hell he was up to. 

Michael entered the kitchen, a water gun in his hand. He was battle ready while he scanned over the room. Nikita bit her lip in an effort not to laugh out loud. Her husband was doing what she had asked, except with a different interpretation. Michael swept the area, and spoke to an imaginary partner, “Got a possible tango. Going to engage.”

A second too late, Nikita realized what he was about to do. For the past couple of years, the two had been holding a drawn out water gun fight. It was under the guise of keeping their skills sharp. Between missions they needed to practice and be at the ready. What better way to do that, than surprise attacks with water guns. Nikita grabbed a paper plate to use as a shield, backing away from Michael. Though family dinner was always casual, she had done her makeup and hair for the night. There was no way in hell he was going to ruin it. She shook her head vehemently, “Don’t you dare.”

Her tone was full of warning. She could and would fuck him up if he shot her with water. Michael approached her anyway, his trademark smirk flashing menacingly. Nikita glared at him the whole time, clutching her makeshift shield. His smile grew, until he was close enough to strike. Instead, he simply gave her a quick peck on the lips, “Tango neutralized. Kitchen clear.”

As he dropped the water gun and the act, she rolled her eyes. She tossed the paper plate at him like a frisbee. It hit him in the face before he could successfully catch it. Nikita smiled triumphantly, “Can you sweep up the sand now?”

“Maybe. What’ll you do if I don’t?” Quickly grabbing the water gun from his grasp, and aiming it at him was her answer. Michael nodded in acceptance, “You’re a hard woman to say no to.”

While he went to get a broom, Nikita tossed the toy on the counter and threw away the frisbee-plate. She set the table and he cleaned the floor. Over the years they had become very comfortable with their domestic bliss. Moments like that always left the couple with companionable silence and content grins. They knew they were the perfect team out in the field. Many experiences had taught them that. But being the perfect team at home took Michael and Nikita longer to learn. Their freedom allowed them that opportunity, however.

Closing the sliding door after sweeping the sand back outside, Michael glanced over at his wife. He laughed when he noticed her actions, “Where’d you learn to set a table like that?”

The table placement in question was set like it was for a state dinner and not a family barbeque. Nikita completed her task with a shrug, “Etiquette training taught me how to properly set fine china. And this is obviously our finest china.”

“Oh, of course,” He tried for seriousness, but it fell flat as he chuckled. 

She laughed with him, “Paper and plastic is the best way to deal with these bastards.”

He helped her bring the food to the table, slightly annoyed at the change of topic. He knew exactly what she was referring to, “Has Alex apologized to Birkhoff yet?”

“Uh, no. Why would she?” Nikita raised her eyebrows in question. She stopped with the table and faced her husband with crossed arms. Michael ceased as well, sighing. He didn’t want to get into a fight over it. Whatever he was going to say, she would refute him and not change her opinion on the matter. It was better to give up, then to get into it right before they were supposed to have a relaxing time with family.

“Yes, he was in the wrong for hacking into her computer. But she was the one who threw the plate at him,” Michael slowly settled on a response.

Nikita eased, accepting his olive branch, “We’ll get them to talk it out tonight.”

They nodded in agreement, and finished their dinner prep. Barkhoff had been circling their feet the whole time, still begging for food. When Nikita turned her back, Michael gave into his wishes. She rolled her eyes again. Rapid knocking on the front door drew the couple’s attention. Crossing to the other room, Michael checked his watch, “They actually arrived on time.”

“Sonya probably drove. Nerd’s a little old grandma when it comes to rentals,” Nikita quipped, hoping Birkhoff heard her. However, it was Alex that rushed into the kitchen. One of her blue eyes was swollen, and a deep gash ran along her cheek. Nikita stared in shock at her best friend’s appearance. Michael had the same expression on his face as he returned to the room. Concerned and frightened, Nikita whispered, “Alex…”

“We gotta talk. Are the nerds here?” Alex interrupted, her throat hoarse.

Instinctively, Nikita sat Alex down and Michael reached for the first aid kit under the sink. She examined the woman’s injuries, shifting into secret agent mode, “Who did this to you? What happened?”

Alex shifted away from Michael’s attempts to patch her up, instead focusing on her best friend and repeating her question, “Are the nerds here?”

“Not yet,” Michael answered sternly, turning Alex to face him so he could clean her cut, “Just tell us what happened.”

“Remember when I said I'd tell you about Houston in person?” Quietly, she asked.

Crouching to connect her brown eyes with her blue, Nikita remembered, “Did you run into another nasty human trafficking ring?”

There was a long pause before Alex shook her head. She let Michael patch her up and chose her words carefully, “I was only there to give a presentation. I didn’t even go looking for them at first.”

“Who’s them?” Michael fished out an icepack from the freezer for her eye.

“I don’t know. But I saw them coming out of a warehouse on my way back to the hotel one night. Their movements looked familiar, so I followed them…” She trailed off, lost in thought. Nikita and Michael shared a worried glance. Whatever she was trying to share with them, they had the sinking feeling that it was going to shake up their world. Alex took a calming breath, pushing forward, “I tried to dig up some more info before I talked to you guys. But nothing came up. So I went back to where I followed them. They were waiting for me though.”

Nikita came to the conclusion on her own, “And they got a couple of hits in before you escaped, and rushed out here.”

She nodded. Michael wasn’t quite satisfied with her answers, and he pressed for more, “What was familiar about their movements? Why follow them?”

The woman’s blue eyes lit with anger and determination. It was the most emotion she had shown since arriving at the front door, “They’re a black ops mercenary group.”


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An AU set in season 2. Inspired by a comment on Fanfiction about Salex sleeping together in season 2.

It was a very, very, very, very, very bad idea- really, very bad. Giving Sean Pierce a fake Bratva tattoo and teaching him Russian to infiltrate Gogol wasn’t the bad idea. Nikita had come up with that one after all. It was straddling his lap to etch the temporary ink onto his chest. Because sitting by his side gave a terrible angle, both agreed it would be easier for Alex to be able to apply the ink directly to his bare, muscular, warm chest. But no, it was extremely hard… to focus- it was difficult to focus. She had to make certain her hand stayed steady, and her words stayed clear. Yet Alex’s mind was cloudy and her mouth was dry. She had to pay attention to the tattoo’s details; it had to be perfect. Alex couldn’t think of Sean’s hard, sturdy muscles underneath her. Or how great they felt under her steadying fingertips. Or how warm he was…

Oh, wait. Sean was saying something. It took Alex a moment to understand. He was speaking Russian, like she had instructed, for practice. That wasn’t why she paused however. She faltered because of his thick baritone voice speaking her native tongue.

“How’s it looking?” Sean wondered. The fake tattoo had to be authentic enough to pass Gogol standards. He, of course, was referring to that.

“It’s good. Almost done,” Alex’s voice was also thick. Lightly, she dusted her fingertips over the temporary ink. She discovered a wet spot, and gently blew to dry it. That was not smart. Alex wasn’t doing well with good ideas recently.

Sean jerked his hips. It could’ve been explained as him shifting positions; he had been sitting still for a long time. She told herself that over and over again, but the air still grew hot and dense. Alex’s breath shallowed, and her head swam. She dared not move for a better position. If she did, she was sure she’d break. So, Alex silently finished the Bratva tattoo in an awkward position. The faster she finished, the faster she could get off… his lap- get off his lap. Alex and Sean were friends and partners, nothing more. 

Yet, then again, there was another time where he had been under her and the tension was palpable. They were sparring, and she had pinned him to the mat. Alex had felt every bit of Sean underneath her. Their hips clashed involuntarily. They were already panting and sweating, the air was dizzying. Her lips brushed his. But a cell phone interrupted anything else that would’ve changed their relationship.

Oh, something had to distract Alex at that moment. The finished tattoo was as good as anything to take her mind off of Sean under her, warm, solid… stop. Alex began to move from Sean’s lap, but her actions were too fast. She almost fell. He caught her with his strong hands on her hips. His dark hazel eyes met her brilliant blues for the first time since she sat on his lap. And that was the worst idea of the night.

It was a slow, yet powerful, magnet that pulled them closer. All thought processes were gone. Their parted lips were drawn to one another, and nothing could stop them from touching. Once they did, a fuse was lit. Hungry passion enveloped Sean and Alex. They kissed thoroughly, their hands roamed greedily, and their hips grinded finally. Heavy breaths, moans, and their bodies moving against one another echoed their ecstasy. Except as she ripped off her shirt and as he lifted them both out of the chair to move to the bedroom, there was a moment of hesitation.

Alex broke apart from the searing kiss, glancing at Sean in trepidation. Unsure of the situation, she dropped her feet to the ground. He continued to hold her close to him, and gently brushed her wild brown hair out of her face. The smile he gave her could’ve melted the coldest hearts. Instead, Alex averted her gaze. She pulled out of his arms, biting her lip, “We shouldn’t have done that.”

“What?” Sean attempted to take steps towards her. But when she crossed her arms over her chest in an effort to hide herself, he retreated

“I can’t,” Alex’s voice hushed into a whisper, “I just can’t.”

“What do you mean you can’t?” That time he did move to her. He needed to comfort her, ease the doubt that had crept into her mind. He didn’t see the reason for it. Sean was in it for the long haul; she had to have known that. Alex said nothing. She stared at a spot on the floor in front of her. Sean shook his head, “Hey. Don’t do that. Don’t shut down. We’re not gonna sit here in silence, ignoring the problem. Just talk to me, Alex. What are you so worried about?”

“Me,” Alex eventually snapped, fury replacing her fear.

“What?”

“I’m afraid I’m going to ruin this. I don’t have the greatest track record when it comes to relationships, Sean. I’m going to ruin this. I’m going to ruin us. It’s happened twice before, and I don’t… I don’t want to lose you too. But that’s the only thing I know how to do,” Her eyes shone with unshed tears and intensity. She believed in every thought she expressed. There was no solution to her problems; there was no need to fight.

“Oh,” Understanding, Sean couldn’t help but reach for her. She didn’t jerk away as he held her hand, and squeezed reassuringly, “First of all, I’ve seen you in action. You can do anything. And second of all, you’re not going to ruin things. I lo… like you too much to let that happen. Nothing you do will ruin anything you have with me. I’m too stubborn to ever let you go without a fight.”

Although she brought her eyes to his, Alex wasn’t sure if she could accept that just yet. Sean cleared the remaining doubt with a kiss. The affection was more tender and loving than the first. The first was a kiss of finality. It expressed burning desire and the need to feel. That one, that one expressed love. The kiss between Sean and Alex solidified the natural progression of their relationship. Sure, they needed to talk more. And they needed to put words to all of their thoughts and emotions. However, for that moment, it was enough.

Sean lifted Alex again as their kiss grew more passionate; the two successfully made it to the bedroom that time around. Slowly, he lowered her onto the bed and worshiped her body in gentle kisses. She sighed in contentment, and relaxed. Allowing her heart to be open to him was a very, very, very, very, very good idea- really, very good. Sean had long ago earned Alex’s trust. But it wasn’t until that night, that he earned her whole heart as well.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set pre-series after Daniel dies but before Nikita split Division. Inspire by my thoughts about how much these characters have been through.

Wrapping her fists, Nikita stepped in front of the battered punching bag. More times than anyone could count, she had squared herself in front of that bag, in those recruit sweats, and that sports bra. Her feet were bare, her wrists and fingers were wrapped for protection, and she would beat the inanimate object until her hair would completely fall from her ponytail hold- until she would forget. After all, that was why she was there. She had to forget. Her heartbeat and breathing were even and controlled as she began. There was usually enough noise to distract her from her thoughts. Sometimes there was a sparring partner that helped with forgetting. But the silence of the room drove Nikita to her thoughts. And as they battled her mind, she battled the punching bag.

_ She could barely remember the first time Gary had hit her. She couldn’t remember why exactly either. But, with her foster dad there was never really a why. It was just hit after hit, and bruise after bruise. The pain used to be unbearable. Eventually, she learned to get used to it.  _

Nikita’s breath became more labored.

_ She only did ketamine at first because another runaway offered it to her. They said it would dull the pain and the cold. The high she experienced wasn’t like any other. She could feel her troubles lifting off of her shoulders. She would do anything to keep that feeling.  _

Her fists lost their steady rhythm. 

_ “You’re guilty of murdering a cop in cold blood,” She couldn’t remember it. She was too high to do anything, let alone remember her actions. But a small part of her knew it wasn’t in cold blood. There had to have been a reason. _

The punching bag’s chain rattled from the excess force.

_ “Welcome to Division,” The words were as cold and ominous as the room she had awakened in. She had to get out. They were offering her a second chance. Yet she knew it was all a lie. _

She could hear her pounding heartbeat.

_ “Nobody gives a damn about trash,” Spitting water into the trainer's face was instinct. Kicking him in the balls was fun.  _

_ “Scummy little orphan girl. Mommy and Daddy not around to teach you any manners,” She wasn’t sure what made her snap so violently. Maybe because she had been treated like that her whole life. And at that moment, she had the power to stop it. _

A grunted scream escaped Nikita.

_ “Nikita, thank you. I don’t know what we would do without you,” He would’ve been alive if it weren’t for her. His family wouldn’t have been broken apart and burned, if they hadn’t trusted her.  _

The bag flew in different directions, trying to survive Nikita’s harsh blows.

_ The feel on her skin after sweetheart missions made her feel dirty. But she couldn’t simply wash it off. Their predatory touches and overbearing sent assaulted her senses days after the mission was over. She was a tool for Division, for Percy. Her body was used against her will.  _

Her chest tightened, while her breathing grew erratic.

_ “But you showed me something here I haven’t seen before. Something evil. You have evil in you. Relax, it’s a good thing. There are monsters in this world. The only way to beat them is to get down there with them and fight fire with fire. That’s why Division exists. There are monsters out there,” The worst monster of them all was Percy. He was too proud and egotistical to see it himself, however. _

That shout was louder.

_ Being with Daniel was bliss. He made her feel safe and sound. She could be normal around him. There was no Division, no missions. It was simply everyday life, with a man she loved so dearly. In all of her life, she had never seen a future for herself until he loved her and she loved him back. _

Tears bit her brown eyes.

_ “Daniel!” He had arrived at his parents’ cabin before her. He always talked about the lake up there, how beautiful and peaceful it was. She teased him with the idea of skinny dipping during the night, When she arrived and saw him in the water, however, she instantly knew something was wrong.  _

She could still see Daniel’s lifeless body floating in the water.

Nikita snap kicked the punching bag with all her might. Tears slipped down her cheeks once the rage bubbled in her chest. Angrily, Nikita rubbed her swollen eyes. She was not going to break down, not there- not at Division. She would pack up, go home, force herself to eat, draw a hot bath, watch (despite the protection) the bruises form on her knuckles, and then…

It had only been a week. Nikita had been struggling for that long. Every day she had to force herself to eat, to sleep, to take care of herself. The punching bag was an idea to cope. Instead of helping Nikita forget, she could still see Daniel’s body. A week later and she couldn’t bear to take off her engagement ring. It weighed down her finger, but she would never dream of removing it. She wouldn’t. If Amanda ever caught her wearing it, she’d have a field day. 

Kicking the punching bag again, Nikita screamed in anguish, “You said we’d have a family.” 

She threw her fists, “You said it wasn’t a dream.” 

The bag could barely sustain the beating, “You promised!” 

Finally, the rusted chain snapped. Nikita stood over the punching bag breathing raggedly. Hot, angry tears rolled down her reddened cheeks once more.

“Nikita?” A soft voice called her attention. She turned to face Michael standing cautiously in the doorway. 

“Michael, I’m…”

“Don’t say you’re fine. You’re not and you know you’re not,” Michael interrupted her as he stepped further into the empty training room.

Nikita cast her eyes away, and decided not to argue with him. She exhaled heavily while her anger was replaced with a trembling body. Nikita tugged the rubber band off the two strands of hair it was left on, and unwrapped her wrists. Michael continued to move closer to her, but she was hidden by her sweaty, humidified, dark hair. She was shoving her things in her bag and grabbing her keys; he called again quietly, “Nikita.”

“I’ll be back to work on Monday,” Her voice was almost silent.

“Nikita,” Michael lightly held onto her arm as she walked past. She finally connected her stormy brown eyes to his gentle green. They held the gaze for a moment, before she ripped away and left.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set between season 2 and 3. Inspired by my wish for more Sonya.

Sonya rushed through her lived-in apartment. She quickly thumbed through spreadsheets and data reports stacked in their own organized way on top of the busy coffee table. One paper grabbed onto her attention, leading her to devour the contents. Her encrypted laptop gave a sharp ring as it let her know it finished processing the data. The sound of it made her look up from the maybe not so important work. A framed signed comic book hanging above the still faintly glowing television- although it has been off for about two minutes- caught her eye. She hastily checked her watch and, seeing that it was 5:35, abandoned the files to scramble to the door. 

Sonya snagged her battered purse off the coat rack, and her keys from the side table. Her hand, the nails delicately polished, reached automatically for the pistol laying patiently in its spot. She hesitated as she regarded the gun. After a brief moment, she shrugged. She left the weapon and her apartment, nearly stumbling in her high heels as she hurried out.

Swaying back and forth, she stood on the curb of the busy sidewalk. She was nearly clipped by a delivery man on a bicycle, but she was unfazed by the others around her. The wind was harsh that summer night; she had to tighten her light cardigan around her shoulders. Sonya checked the time on her watch, the face illuminated by the streetlamps and the lights of the building behind her. The time read 5:40. She studied the taxis and cars that zipped by, before stuffing her cold hands in the pockets of her stylish dress.

An ominous lurking man with dark eyes and leering posture was captured in Sonya’s peripherals. He was staring at her with intense, territorial eyes. She shifted closer to the streetlamp, far from him. 

“Come on, Seymour. You said five-thirty,” Sonya muttered, wary of the unmoving man. Taxis and pedestrians came and went, yet he remained transfixed.

Uneasy of the stranger and frustrated at the tardiness, Sonya released a huff of breath. She pulled her purse tighter against herself, tugged on her curled hair, and willingly joined the rushing crowd down the sidewalk towards the subway station.

Sonya made a beeline for the station schedule, cutting through the exiting crowd of loud New Yorkers- one of which was blasting music through their phone’s speakers. Her deep brown eyes searched for her stop greedily, though they swept side to side for another glimpse of the man. The second she found the train she needed, she checked the time of departure, arrival time, and the time on her watch. The watch said it was 5:50, she had ten minutes. She ran towards the train.

Once on the subway, and speeding to her destination, Sonya was staring out the window lost in thought. She had her arms crossed over her chest, her elbow hooked around a pole to stay upright. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted the man from the street leering at her again. She continued to watch him, her calm and security losing its edge. She tightened her arms to cover her breasts, when he didn't look away. Sonya nervously played with the end of her hair, studying every movement the man made. She twisted the black locks around her finger, and reached into her purse. 

She thought possibly that he was one of the Dirty Thirties they were trying to track down. Upon closer inspection, he looked nothing like any of the rogue agents. He was just a run of the mill creep. But she had a way to take care of him if he attempted anything. Her hand fumbled around the loose and haphazard items in her. Sonya’s eyes widened. She removed her empty hand, the realization hitting her furiously. She left her gun. 

The man continued to stare at her with predatory want.

* * *

Seymour Birkhoff pulled up outside Sonya’s apartment building. Turning down the traffic report on the radio, he checked the time on the dashboard. It was 6:00. Searching, he glanced out the passenger side window. His soft blue eyes scanned up and down the sidewalk, his fingers picking at his baggy jeans. Seymour was taken aback when he didn’t see Sonya glaring in frustration at him. He leaned forward to get a better look. But the only people he saw were doing their own thing, minding their business in true New Yorker fashion. 

Seymour grabbed at his cellphone in the cup holder. There was a few minute old message from Sonya. Reading the simple text “subway”, he put away the phone without a second thought. He fought his way back into the flow of vehicles, and sped off.

“Couldn’t wait thirty minutes, Sonya,” Though he shook his head, a smile was on his lips.

* * *

Sonya checked her watch- 6:15- and over her shoulder, as she hurried down the sidewalk. She had her keys slipped between her fingers, and noted the security cameras she was passing. Before turning a corner, Sonya cautiously peered around it; and once she walked forward, she looked behind her back. Her eyes scrutinized the people around her, all of which were paying her no attention.

Only one person was interested in Sonya. She spotted dark, leering eyes nearing her and picked up speed. 

Her path was wild. She constantly backtracked and weaved in and out of crowds. She took her cardigan off and tied it around her waist for a slight change in appearance. She even ducked into a coffee shop for a moment to attempt to shake her tail. The more she glanced behind her and the more she checked her watch, the faster she became. 

Soon, she was jogging towards the convention center. With her keys still held tight in her hand, Sonya dug in her purse for her ticket. She kept her head up, making her way to the safety of the ticket booths and crowds. Her body was rigid and her eyes continued to search her surroundings. 

A hand pulled lightly on her arm to turn her around. Sonya swung her fist immediately. She landed a forceful punch to her attacker’s nose.

Except, it was only Seymour.

Sonya dropped her defense once she realized who she'd hit. She went quickly to his aid, “Oh my God, Seymour! Ohmygod. I am so sorry. This creep was following me and I left my gun and…”

His laughter cut off her rambling. He held his nose just under his wire rimmed glasses, the blood barely held back, “It’s okay. I learned my lesson. Leave earlier to beat traffic, or else you get punched in the face.”

“Or just leave earlier so your date doesn’t have to run from a stalker,” Sonya caught onto his sarcasm, relaxing into it. 

She took a careful look at Seymour’s injury. Gently, she started to lead him inside, “Let’s get you fixed up. It doesn’t look broken, but it is bloody.”

“You think I’ll get another cool scar?” Seymour smirked as best as he could.

Sonya rolled her eyes, and swiped at the blood so it didn't trickle down to his white t-shirt, “Well if you do, girls usually like them.”

“Sweet.”

The two both laughed that time. They went into the comic convention together, and enjoyed their date despite the disastrous way it began. The two nerds together, everything else disappeared. 


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set sometime in season 3. Inspired by the fact that Alex has been through it.

"Take your clothes off and give them to me now," Their captors ordered, brandishing the guns around. Nikita did as instructed, glaring in anger; they weren't going to intimidate her. Alex however, although her expression remained blank, was panicking. She could see the young woman out of the corner of her eye. Her fingers slightly fumbled on her clothing, her movements were somewhat sloppy and a little fast, her breathing would sometimes hitch, and her eyes barely grew larger. To anyone other than Nikita, Alex was still Alex- her composure steely and calm. But she could see her minute expressions while they stood at gunpoint in their underwear. Alex was on the verge of a breakdown. 

The two women had been on a mission, if that wasn’t clear enough already. All was going smoothly, at first. They had successfully tracked down a Dirty Thirty, and were in the process of taking him out. However, he had a friend. He had teamed up with another Dirty Thirty, hoping to expand their illegal business by working together. Apparently, Division agents could make friends. Alex and Nikita were surprised and ambushed. Though they were forced into the small room and tactically at a disadvantage, they continued to strategize ways out of the situation. Until they were told to take off their clothes. Nikita couldn’t make sense of that. 

But she didn’t give much thought to it. Alex's anxiety attack crashed into her at full force once their captors left and locked the door. She backed into the corner, curling around herself as she collapsed. Her body shook violently with heavy erratic breaths and streaming tears. Her blue eyes rapidly scanned the surrounding area, moving too fast to really see. Nikita attempted to step towards her, yet that only made things worse. 

"Alex," She tried instead. She couldn’t even respond. Nikita wasn't entirely sure what to do to calm her. She knew how to ground herself back to reality when she had attacks like that. Usually waking from a nightmare, Nikita would think of the present- what she felt physically around her. Sometimes, Michael would wake with her and help to reassure her. She wasn't sure if the same techniques would work, but it was worth a shot. 

With slow movements, Nikita got to her knees to make herself smaller and raised her empty open palms. She spoke softly and gently, “Alex. It's me, Nikita. I'm your friend. I protect you not hurt you." 

Alex’s eyes ceased their never-ending scan to focus on her. A small comforting smile pulled at Nikita’s full lips, "See. I'm here. I'm going to keep you safe. First, you need to breathe. Breathe. In and out, just like me." 

Nikita made her breathing audible and steady for Alex to follow. After a few hiccups, she was able to; her body stilled and quieted as a result. Nodding, Nikita continued the constant rhythm, "That's it. Easy in and out." 

She went to move closer, but remembering the result of last time, she asked, "Is it okay if I come closer?" 

It was barely a nod, but Alex accepted the request. Nikita cautiously crawled over, placing her knees on the young woman’s bare feet, "My knees are on your feet which are securely on the ground." 

Tenderly she reached for her hand, "My hand is on yours, holding you tight to protect you." 

She brought Alex’s hand towards her, and placed it on her naked (except for a bra) chest, "Your hand is on my heart, feeling the steady beat. And my voice is in your ear, soothing and constant."

Alex's tears stop, simply leaving drying stains on her cheeks. She seemed to be calm then. The attack appeared to be over. A scream from upstairs ruined that idea however, "Shh, Alex. Shh. Focus on me. It's just you and me. You, Alexandra Udinov. The brave, intelligent, beautiful force to be reckoned with. And me, Nikita. The badass bitch who will always protect you. It's only you and me. We'll keep each other safe no matter what." 

Although her body was still tense, Alex’s breathing had settled again. Nikita connected her eyes firmly with hers, "Your blue eyes see my brown, and they know the truth and sincerity behind them. Everything is safe in the gaze because I am not going to let anything bad happen to you. Ever." 

Silent moments passed before Alex wiggled her toes. Nikita took that to mean she had returned to reality and really wanted to remove the weight from her feet. She didn't move far though. Alex wouldn't let her. Nikita sat next to the young woman, close enough to make her feel secure. They continued to hold hands. Nikita figured it was a way to stay rooted to the world. 

Quietly, just above a whisper, Alex eventually muttered, "Thank you." 

"No problem," Nikita shrugged, “That usually helps me out. Feeling the things around me. Michael added the stuff about knowing who you are and shit. I wasn’t sure what would help the most, so.”

"No. It was great. Usually I calm down by thinking about here and not there. But this here is exactly like that there," Voice remaining soft, Alex admitted. Nikita knew what she was talking about. She knew the moment they were forced to strip at gunpoint. It had been years since Alex had escaped from the brothel, but the memories and trauma remained. That would probably always remain with Alex. Trauma didn’t like going away; Nikita was very familiar with that fact. The best they could do was to continue living, and try to heal.

“What are they going to do to us?” Alex’s question ripped Nikita out of her thoughts. Her hand tightly squeezed hers, desperately trying to not spiral back into a panic.

Nikita didn’t know. The screaming upstairs and their semi-nakedness concerned her tremendously. Yet she couldn’t afford to dwell over it. She had to remain strong, “Doesn’t matter. They won’t have the chance to do anything, before we bust out of here and kick their asses.”

“What do you have in mind?” It was small, but Alex actually grinned. Nikita smiled in return, glancing at the locked door and laying out a plan.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set sometime in season 3. Inspired by how tired I was yesterday, silly mission ideas, and requests for Sonya out in the field.

“Nerd. Nerd,” Nikita’s harsh shout ringing through the speakers in his office snapped Birkhoff awake. He had only meant to close his eyes for a second. The mission was supposed to have been a standard, straightforward one. Nikita and Owen, with Sean and Sonya providing backup, were only intercepting a flash drive full of information, before Amanda could get her dirty little hands on it. Birkhoff wasn’t too happy about his girlfriend out in the field, especially after what Amanda had done to her. They successfully disabled the killchip, but the idea of it continued to haunt Sonya. It haunted Birkhoff as well, though he wasn’t willing to share that with everybody.

Despite all of that, Sonya was needed in the field with the others. Nikita and Owen needed backup, and Sean couldn’t do it solo. Michael was out indefinitely. And Alex was still recovering after her relapse. Sonya was the only best option left. After all, she had field experience and she worked well with the team. She geared up with them, and rolled out. Birkhoff wanted to keep her safely in ops with him. He almost lost her not that long ago. He didn’t want to feel like that again. She needed to be safe. 

The nerd was just too tired to argue once everything was said and done, however. He had been feeling so exhausted lately. It must've been the stress. Moles, killchips, relapses, lost hands, and Amanda were taking their toll on the poor man. Not even his energy drinks were a match for his sleep deprivation. He was dead on his feet. So when the mission had taken a lull, the team were managing to search an empty warehouse on their own, he decided to rest his eyes. It was meant to be for a second. He’d be awake once they needed him. To his horrible luck, that second was thirty minutes.

“Can you do your nerdy magic on the drive if it gets corrupted?” Nikita’s voice sounded strained, like she was in a tense situation. Birkhoff rubbed his eyes, sitting up straighter in his chair. She instantly became impatient at his lack of response, “Well can you?”

“Yes. Who do you think I am?” The nerd replied grumpier than he meant to. But in his defense, the nap didn’t do anything to take away his exhaustion. If anything, he was even more tired. He had to shake it off, however. The mission was more important than whatever was wrong with him.

“Good. Cause I just swallowed it.”

Nikita’s words took a moment to make sense to Birkhoff. He blinked in surprise, stammering, “What? Why?”

“Amanda’s men arrived with a scanner for the flash drive. It must have a tracker on it. The digestive tract should hide the signal, however,” Sonya explained logically. She sounded worried, and that put Birkhoff on edge. He was definitely awake then. Cursing himself under his breath, he scanned through the footage on the scenes. If he hadn’t fallen asleep, he could’ve caught the men before they surprised the team. Then, Sonya would’ve been safe and sound.

Michael entering the tech office went unnoticed by the nerd. Intently focused on finding the tangos for the team, Birkhoff jumped when the lead agent spoke, “How’s it going?”

Owen was quick to answer through the coms, his voice dripping with annoyance, “Oh you know. Amanda’s men showed up early. And your girl swallowed the drive.”

He too had to take a bit to register the information, “Okay then. Where are they? Can you exfil the same as before?”

The men in question were a few rows of shelves away from the four agents. Nikita, Owen, Sean, and Sonya had grouped back together after the arrival of the tangos. They had chosen not to engage, hoping to keep the mission under Amanda’s radar. But that wasn’t going to be a possibility much longer. The men were in the way of their exit points. If they were going to escape, they’d have to fight their way through. Birkhoff shared the info with the team, and Sean huffed in frustration.

“We can take care of them no problem. But not before one of them radios for backup. Then we’ll be swarmed,” The Seal’s theory was more than likely correct. The nerd had spotted a few unmarked vans around the warehouse. Amanda had gone all out to get the information on that flash drive. 

“You have to take the chance,” Beginning his typical mission pacing, Michael advised.

Birkhoff dove into typing. He had to be able to do something to help them out. He felt as though he had ruined the operation by falling asleep; he could more than make up for it then, however. He could block out any communications so the men couldn’t call for help. Or he could cut the power to the warehouse, and the men would be in the blind. Except, both options would’ve left the team at a disadvantage as well. Birkhoff normally put all his money on Nikita, Owen, and Sean to come out on top, but Sonya was with them. Although she was capable of anything, he couldn’t place her in any unnecessary danger. He would never do that.

Sonya quickly peered around the corner of the shelf the four were hiding behind, watching the tangos approach, “One of us could distract them while the others engaged.”

“You three against those seven. Sounds good to me,” Nikita agreed with the suggestion, holstering her drawn weapon. Sean, Owen, and Michael immediately disliked the idea. They started to argue with her, their voices overlapping on the coms. She rolled her eyes, “I’ll be fine. Amanda has a ‘no kill’ order out on me. And, I’ve got a killer idea.”

That shut Sean and Owen up, but Michael continued to disagree, “No. It’s too dangerous. We have to come up with a better way.”

And the nerd really was trying to find that way. There had to be a solution that left them at the advantage. He just hadn’t found it yet. Sonya ended the search, by shaking her head and directing her attention to Nikita, “We’ll circle around back, and give you the go ahead.”

The agent nodded in agreement. Sean, Owen, and Sonya silently moved through the shelves to position themselves behind the men. Michael ceased pacing, clutching the back of Birkhoff’s chair tightly instead. The nerd could only stare at the camera feed and pray that Sonya would be alright. The plan had to work, it was all they had. When the three were ready to pounce, Nikita slipped out of her hiding spot. She smirked at the tangos and their raised guns. But before one of them could speak into a radio to alert the others, Nikita implemented her distraction. She lifted her shirt and her bra.

Standing stock still, the men lowered their weapons and stared at the beauty in front of them. Birkhoff avoided his gaze, while Michael gaped. Nikita sure was full of surprises- first the drive and then her breasts. If she just let them know what she was thinking, they could get more words in argument wise. Or, at least they could’ve prepared themselves. Silenced gunshots filled the air, and the men dropped to the ground. Nikita replaced her clothing as the last man fell dead, heading towards the exit. Sonya followed unfazed. Sean and Owen, on the other hand, remained where they stood processing what they had seen.

“Boys, come on,” Nikita ordered. She didn’t have time for their reaction. 

“We tell Alex I saw nothing,” Sean eventually muttered, and hurried after the woman. Owen breathed a laugh, before he joined them also. Birkhoff was on autopilot as he scrubbed the camera footage. He couldn’t look at or speak to Michael. He was afraid to do so.

After the four got into their getaway car and drove back to Division undeterred, Michael relaxed his steely grip on Birkhoff’s chair. The lead agent awkwardly left the room mumbling something about Medical and Nikita needing to vomit. Sighing, Birkhoff rubbed his eyes once more. It was never a dull moment with those two. He was glad he didn’t live in the same house as them anymore.

The anxious events alleviated his exhaustion for the time being. Except as the adrenaline died down, Birkhoff found his eyes dropping again. He desperately needed to sleep. Stumbling out of his computer chair, he crossed to the couch in his office. It wasn’t the best, but he could at least rest there. The instant his head hit the cushion, he was more or less unconscious. His stress was still present; just at the moment, his exhaustion was too powerful. And honestly, his mind was slightly more at ease. Birkhoff continued to have plenty to be anxious about, but Sonya wasn’t one of them. 

If he had learned anything from watching his girlfriend on the mission, it was that she was a capable agent- as capable as Nikita. He already knew she was intelligent, and strong. But then, the nerd was aware of just how amazing she was. She could hold her own against the worst of the worst, and she could keep up with Nikita’s insane ideas. Birkhoff didn’t have to worry so much about keeping Sonya safe and sound. She could do that all on her own.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set sometime in season 3, a day or two after last chapter's story. Inspired by comments on Fanfiction asking for femme fatale Sonya, and computer tech Alex.

Nikita was adamantly against the idea. They were supposed to be a new Division. They’d take down Amanda and the Dirty Thirty, then they’d all go free. That meant no more using their agents as tools and a means to an end. Ryan insisted that that wasn’t what they were doing. The mission was necessary to decode the information on the flash drive they recently recovered- recon and information gathering only. It was an important mission. But the op wasn’t what Nikita was arguing with. It was how they had planned to get the information. 

She glanced at Michael for support. He had once promised her no more missions like that. He had to know that promise extended to everyone else as well. Her fiancé seemed to understand, and voiced for another mission plan. The two were outnumbered, however. No one else had a problem with it. And when Ryan had an idea, he was going to run with it- didn’t matter if anyone agreed or not. But Nikita could play the stubborn game too. If they were going to do that, she was in charge. So at any moment she felt it was going too far, she was pulling the plug. There were no exceptions.

Ryan wanted to argue, yet Michael agreed; Nikita ran point and had final say. She had to stay inside Division and run the mission from ops, however. She didn’t really have a problem with that. The more she could distance herself from the type of mission, the better. Also, though she would never admit it, she had been feeling unwell ever since she swallowed that flash drive. Apparently, there were consequences to ingesting a dusty, old piece of technology. Her stomach had been rocky and her head foggy. She was pushing through, yet she couldn’t stand for long. Running an op while sitting inside sounded great to her. 

Alex had been cleared for duty, and Ryan wanted her to be the agent out in the field. Although she wasn’t as vocal as Nikita about her disdain, she did voice her discomfort with the assignment. Going to a club wasn’t the best idea for her at the moment, so wasn’t the mission itself. She agreed to help Nikita, though. She had improved her hacking and computer skills substantially, and could provide tech support. 

That left Sonya as the agent of choice. She was as beautiful and as capable as the other two women. Her recent mission out in the field proved she could handle herself and any situation thrown at her. She agreed to the idea, not having much reservation. She understood why Alex didn’t want to do it, and why Nikita didn’t want anyone to do it. But she also understood Ryan’s reasoning for it. So, Sonya agreed to be a honeytrap. Birkhoff balked at his girlfriend seducing a mark for information. Focusing on Ryan’s briefing, she ignored him. Someone had to get the information, by any means necessary. And a seduction mission was the best means. 

While Sonya was being transported to the club, Alex and Nikita set up ops in their own private area. Birkhoff kept staring at Sonya after she had gotten ready, like he wanted to kiss her right then and there. To be fair, she did look absolutely stunning. Sean gazed at Alex lovingly, proud of her various skills. She was exceptional at everything she put her mind to. And Michael studied Nikita, a small smile gracing his features. She figured he was thinking about her as the unflappable leader in command that she was. With those distracted men in their way, they had decided to move. They didn’t need them messing with the op. 

Getting comfortable at a computer chair, Alex pulled up the security camera feed at the club. Nikita collapsed back into a chair, slouching and sighing. Her best friend eyed her over, and noted the change of clothing. Usually she was dressed in stylish heels and business wear while at Division. But that day she was in old jeans and an oversized tee. Alex knowingly smirked, “You know, there’s these things called sick days.”

“You knew about those?” Nikita shot back immediately and sarcastically. She turned on the microphone and speaker so they could communicate with Sonya, who had just arrived at her destination. The women could see the computer tech turned agent on the screen adjust her curve-hugging dress before entering the club. She appeared nervous as she sat at the bar and ordered a drink. Nikita soothed her, “Don’t worry, he won’t show up for a while. Just relax and drink. We’ll be with you the whole time.”

Alex voiced her agreement, checking the area again for the mark. Once she had confirmed he was in fact not there yet, she turned to Nikita, “Okay fine. I should’ve taken time off instead of pushing myself harder. But, aren’t you the one who knows best? You should be sleeping it off at home.”

Before Nikita could run through her typical lines of ‘I’m fine’ Sonya interrupted, “Are you talking about the stomach bug Nikita got from swallowing the flash drive?”

Whereas Alex laughed, Nikita rolled her eyes. She should’ve known better than to try and fool those two, or any member of her family; they knew her too well. They noticed her slumping in chairs, hurriedly excusing herself to the bathroom, and her sluggish attitude. If not that, then definitely Michael’s shirt she was trying to pass off as her own, because she was too tired to wear anything nice. She could at least pretend she was alright, though. But Alex didn’t give her the chance, “That’s what you get for improvising out in the field.” 

“I don’t know. My boobs worked out pretty well for me,” Smirking, Nikita glanced down at her chest, “These girls have never let me down.”

Sonya and Alex burst out into laughter, bringing Nikita to laugh along with them. Sonya was the first to collect herself by sipping her drink, “You sure know how to work with what you have.”

“Thanks, Sonya. But if anyone’s working it here, it’s you. Nerd was practically drooling when he saw you,” Nikita’s compliment made Sonya blush so red they could see it easily over the monitor. Alex and Nikita shared a look at her expense; the two nerds were hopelessly in love.

Suddenly remembering what she wanted to ask of her friends, Alex shifted focus, “Hey. I’ve been teasing Sean about who’s boobs are better, and I need you guys to play along.”

“Is that why he asked us not to tell you he saw anything? Because you were going to tease him?” Sonya studied the patrons around her as she wondered.

“How else do you react when your boyfriend sees your best friend’s boobs on a mission?”

“I tease Michael all the time after he has to kiss another woman for an op.”

Their confessions confused Sonya. Nikita and Alex had entirely different relationships with their boyfriends than she did. Sure, she and Seymour had fun with one another. But, she didn’t mercilessly tease him. Not that Sean and Michael ever complained when they were made fun of. They rolled with the punches, and attempted to tease back. Nikita and Alex were more or less always a step ahead of them though. It amused Sonya how different each of their relationships were. Despite that and the harrowing situations they found themselves in, they all managed a way to be happy. And that was all that mattered.

“Target’s coming in and heading to the bar,” Alex’s information brought Sonya back to the moment. She straightened in her seat, crossed her legs, and sipped her drink. Out of the corner of her eye she spotted her mark a few seats down from her. He seemed to be alone- no backup. 

Nikita confirmed that fact, and dove into some helpful hints she had gathered, “Alright. This guy is your textbook former Russian spy. He likes his vodka strong and his woman loose. Oh, and anything about the Cold War just gets him going.”

Downing the rest of her drink, Sonya ordered an extra strong vodka. That caught the mark’s attention, and at one glance at her beauty he moved over to her with a predatory grin. Nikita clenched her fists while she watched over the scene. She wasn’t worried about Sonya, or the mission, she was just furious. She hadn’t let go of what Ryan had said about seduction being necessary to get the job done. Sweethearts and Honeytraps made her skin crawl and her stomach churn- even more than the stomach bug already was. 

Being forced to flirt and fuck with marks for information was another way Division used and abused their operatives. It always felt like she had never left the streets or her foster home. Nikita was never in charge of her own person. She had to make sure that mission didn’t go too far for Sonya. She would flirt only. If the information wasn’t retrieved in the bar alone, then they simply wouldn’t have the information. Ryan and Division could be damned.

With Alex and Nikita helping her, and with her own flirtation skills, Sonya was able to get the intel needed to decode the flash drive. She slipped something into the target’s drink to make him forget the night, and allow her to exfil easily. She made it back to Division without any hiccups, and the women met up to debrief. They were more at ease once the op was over, and they fell back into their playful conversation. 

Honestly, Nikita, Alex, and Sonya felt far more comfortable with a sweetheart mission after having worked together. Bitter feelings were still present, but the easy success of the mission and the fact that the women had each other’s backs helped ease them. And, the fact that they were all women helped as well. It was different than having a man watch over them. It seemed more secure, knowing that the person assisting you was empathetic to the situation you were in. Not that Michael, Sean, or Birkhoff couldn’t be helpful and supportive, it was just different. The women could understand each other, communicate more efficiently (including switching between topics), and comfort one another. They were a great team, no matter the circumstances.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set between seasons 2 & 3\. Inspired by requests on Fanfiction for a boy's friendship story.

Banging pots and pans jolted Michael awake. He instantly regretted the quick movement. His body ached, his stomach turned, and his mouth tasted like the desert. Attempting to open his eyes, the bright lights of the room made his head scream in pain. It was best if he kept his eyes closed and laid still on top of the lumpy thing beneath him. He wasn’t quite aware of himself or his surroundings to know exactly where he was. When he felt better, he’d answer that question. At the moment, Michael was only focused on slipping back into unconsciousness.

“Wake up sleepyheads,” Nikita’s shout wasn’t going to let that happen however. Michael jolted again and groaned, bringing stiff arms up to rub away his headache. The lumpy thing under him jumped in surprise as well. Curiosity got the better of him, and Micheal forced open bloodshot eyes. He was lying on his stomach, half sprawled out on the couch and half on top of Birkhoff, who was on his back and almost falling off the cushions. Before closing their bleary eyes once more, the two men glanced at each other. Neither tried to move, instead simply whining at their current situation. 

Women’s laughter floated into the room from somewhere behind them. Alex cooed loudly, “They look so cute.”

“I already took like fifty pictures,” Nikita agreed, the sound of a phone’s camera punctuating her point. Kitchen utensils continued to clang harshly, almost as if whoever was handling them was doing it on purpose.

“Shut the fuck up,” His voice hoarse and slurred, Sean groaned on the floor near Michael and Birkhoff. That forced the women to laugh louder. Michael shakily pushed himself upright. He had to hold tight to the back of the couch to keep himself from dizzily falling over. He managed to take a look around the living room, sighing. Sean was on the floor, curled tightly into his side and using the rug as a blanket. With his head between his knees, Ryan was slumped in a large chair. Bright sunlight was shining harshly through open windows, and all the lights were on in the apartment. Michael glanced over to the kitchen, spotting Nikita, Alex, and Sonya moving around noisily. It was as though it was their master plan to make their hangovers worse than they already were. The women kept snickering at the men as they prepared to make breakfast.

Birkhoff shifted uncomfortably underneath Michael, and croaked, “Mikey, your knee.”

Sure enough, his knee was pressed sharply into the nerd’s side. Awkwardly, he moved it, but that only caused Birkhoff to fall completely off of the couch. He didn’t move or make a sound; he just laid there like a slug. As if on cue, Nikita, Alex, and Sonya laughed. Ryan sounded like he was about to cry, “Please. Stop.”

The four men were idiots. Their horrific hangovers were proof enough of that. The night before hadn’t started out terrible. In fact, they weren’t even drinking the hard stuff at first. Since the women were having a girl’s night with dinner and a movie, the men decided to get together for a boy’s night. Well, Sean and Birkhoff had decided- Michael and Ryan were dragged along for the ride. Sean desperately wanted to watch a football game on the giant screens of Division. Ryan kept saying ‘no’, but Birkhoff suggested watching a game at his apartment on the equally big television. Some colleges had their opening game that night, so loaded up with beer and food the men got together.

Michael wasn’t all too interested in the game. He liked sports, but he couldn't care less about the two teams playing. He drank beer, ate food, and talked with Ryan who also didn’t care about what was happening on the TV. They avoided shop talk, wanting a night to relax. They had started to discuss the newest space discovery, when Birkhoff began to complain, “Can you two sit and mindlessly enjoy something for once?” 

“What’s there to enjoy?” Michael quipped, smirking as he finished off his bottle of beer.

Sean shrugged and tossed away an eaten chicken wing, “Nothing much. Too many downs and turnovers.”

Although Birkhoff nodded in agreement, his expression betrayed the fact that he didn’t entirely understand the comment. Michael chuckled, “You have no idea what’s happening, do you?”

“I know what’s going on,” The nerd defended, “I’m just not as obsessive as Sean is.”

“I don’t think anyone is,” Ryan muttered, noting the zero to zero score.

“Maybe if it were Monday night football, or the Army-Navy game,” Sean seemed upset by the events of the game, wishing it was something they could have had fun watching. Most games were exciting, but that one was just disappointing. 

Perking up at the mention of the Army-Navy football rivalry, Michael turned to Sean, “Hey. My academy roommates and I used to have a drinking contest to that game. I can’t remember the rules exactly, but we would do shots for every turnover or first down.”

“Are you suggesting we liven up this game a bit?” Excited by the idea, Sean smirked. 

Birkhoff immediately shot up out of his seat, and rushed to his kitchen. He reached for the hard liquor in a cabinet, and a couple of glasses. Ryan rolled his eyes good-naturedly, “Guess we are. It’s a good thing we’ve got plenty of food and water.”

The men took their shots of alcohol responsibly at first. They chased the harsh liquid with water, and continued eating the snacks. But the more shots they took, the drunker they became, and the less they cared about alcohol poisoning. The football game was soon forgotten, and so was the drinking contest. Michael, Sean, Birkhoff, and Ryan drank and talked more and more, until they were sufficiently wasted. The night became hazy after that.

Delicious smells wafting from the kitchen brought Michael back to the moment. Although whatever the women were cooking appeared appetizing, his stomach lurched. The alcohol was definitely not agreeing with him. He must've looked as unwell as he felt, because Nikita took pity on him and stopped her noise making. With a cool glass of water in hand, she walked towards him sympathetically, “Here, Babe. Drink up.”

He did as instructed without a fight. Nikita soothed his headache by tenderly running her fingers through his hair and massaging his scalp. Michael smiled at his girlfriend, full of affection and thanks. She simply rolled her eyes.

“Can I have some water, please?” In a small voice, Sean asked from under the carpet. Alex met his request, not as silently as Nikita. She stomped towards the man on the floor, and he groaned in discomfort. Glaring at Alex, he rolled onto his back. She giggled at him, but gently helped him sit upright and drink some water.

“Did you boys have fun last night?” Alex’s voice dripped knowingly as she asked.

“No,” Ryan replied instantly.

“Food,” Muffled by the floor, Birkhoff chimed in.

“First round of pancakes are almost done,” Sonya shouted. The men winced at the sound. But the women weren’t concerned about their hangovers. Nikita, Alex, and Sonya thought Michael, Sean, Birkhoff, and Ryan deserved their predicament. They were the ones to overdo it on the alcohol, and they were the ones who had drunkenly called them. The women had finished their movie and were peacefully talking afterwards, when the needy texts and calls came in. They decided to head over to Birkhoff’s apartment to see what was happening. The sight was- well- hysterical to say the least.

As they opened the door with Sonya’s spare key, they found the men in some kind of dogpile. Birkhoff and Ryan were sprawled over Michael and Sean, who were wrestling on the ground. The slam of the door behind the baffled women alerted the men to their presence. Michael was the first to react. He shoved the others off of him, and rushed to Nikita, “Ohmygod, Nikita. Look guys, it’s Nikita. She got my call about how much I missed her. God, isn’t she so pretty, and smart, and wonderful? I love her so much. And I want to be with her forever.”

Nikita did her best to avoid Michael’s grabbing hands from squishing her face. The closer her boyfriend got to her, the better she could smell the alcohol on his breath. He pulled her into a sloppy hug, allowing her to look over his shoulder at the empty bottles and food containers littering the coffee table they had moved to the side of the room. When the couple parted, Nikita couldn’t help but laugh, “You guys are having fun.”

“Alex,” Sean sat up cross legged, and threw his hands up in the air excitedly, “Did you get my texts?”

“Yeah. All twenty of them. You really think I’m that awesome, huh?” Alex hid her giggle with the quirk of an eyebrow. 

Michael nodded enthusiastically, “Oh yeah. He won’t stop talking about the first date your gonna go on. And how fun it’ll be. And how much he loves…”

“Mikey, shhh. That's secret,” The Seal interrupted the agent as best as he could with his slurred words. Sloppily, Michael pretended to zip his lips and throw away the key. The women shared a look between themselves, shit eating grins growing across their faces. 

“You guys talked about us?” Nikita pressed her body tightly against Michael’s, earning his hands on her waist and a big nod. She grinned up at him seductively, “What’d you guys say?”

With Nikita distracting him, Michael couldn’t respond. So Ryan answered for him, staggering to his feet, “Birkhoff said his dates with Sonya are going good. And he wants more of them. He also wants to play that Zelda game with her.”

Sonya beamed at the nerd. He looked up at her from his position on the floor grinning wildly. She crossed over to him, and sat down next to his hip. He grabbed for her hand, squeezing it tightly. Drunk Birkhoff was surprisingly quiet, whereas Drunk Michael was a chatterbox. A normally collected and brainy Ryan was spacey, and realistic Sean was off in La-La Land. The women were going to have fun messing with them.

And they did. Nikita got Michael to go on a thirty minute rant about how much he loved and cherished her. Alex listened to Sean repeatedly tell her how awesome she was, intermixed with incoherent stories of his childhood. And Ryan translated Birkhoff’s one word answers into babbling confessions for Sonya to hear. However as the men grew tired, their drunkenness turned sloppy and into a heated debate about cowboys versus astronauts. The women decided to put them to bed, but it was a hassle getting them to do anything. They just let them be wherever they were, and went to bed themselves- Sonya in Birkhoff’s room, and Alex and Nikita in the guest bedroom.

Shortly, the pancakes were ready to be served, and the men were forced to shuffle to the kitchen to eat them. Although the women continued to stab at their headaches with their loud conversation and laughter, the men were soon brought out of their stupor. It was a wonder what food and water could do for a hangover. Despite the terrible feeling they all woke up to, the men had a lot of fun together the night before; they talked, laughed, and played games. A boy’s night was a great bonding experience for the men of the team. They should probably do it more often, minus the alcohol. 


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set in season 2 after the events of 2x05 "Looking Glass". Inspired by the fact that there's a lot of explosions on this show.

She was slumped against his shoulder, her body heavy and warm with sleep. His jacket was draped around her as a makeshift blanket. The slight jostling of the cargo plane they had hitched a ride back home on and their awkward seating arrangement kept making it fall, however. He did his best to help it stay in place, but she didn’t seem to mind either way; she was truly out of it, not that he was going to complain. She deserved the rest. They both did, but he couldn’t sleep. Although his eyelids were heavy and his body desperately wanted to join her in sweet oblivion, he wasn’t willing to fall asleep. He forced himself awake, staring at her and shifting his position. 

Closing his eyes would mean lowering his guard. And lowering his guard would mean allowing those thoughts to drift through his mind. He didn’t want to think about them, not there and possibly not ever. It was all too much. The explosion, the fire, and the harrowing moment where all he could do was just stand there and watch the horror before him was too similar. Absolute dread had filled his gut, and he had felt his heart break apart. He found himself reliving the worst day of his life, and he couldn’t let himself dwell on that.

Michael ignored the twinge in his neck as he stared down at Nikita. Her dark hair had partially fallen over her face, yet he could still see that her cheek was smooshed against his firm bicep. The position caused her lips to part slightly open, and for saliva to drool out. She was as beautiful and as adorable as ever. Without thought, Micheal tenderly brushed her hair behind her ear and kissed the top of her head. Nikita stirred slightly, un-squishing her cheek. A small smile pulled at her full lips.

Thoughts betraying him, he realized that he could've lost her. He could've lost her smile, her brilliance, her jokes. In those moments between the explosion and watching her walk through the flames, he thought she was gone. Like  _ they _ were. The coms had cut out while they were running to get to the car in time. She had been the closest, and the fastest. If he couldn't get there in time, then she definitely could. And Michael figured Nikita had. So when the car bomb went off, he couldn't bear to think about it. But the memories didn't care about what he could or could not handle. 

A strong woman like Cassandra, a precocious child like Max, and a family he loved deeply like Nikita assaulted his mind. There was no use fighting it off anymore; he was shot back in time to March 2001. Honestly, that day could only come back to him in fragments. The rest of those memories were probably hidden away by pain. He remembered their smiles, and their laughter though. He could never forget those. Elizabeth's was always so light and happy. She had said there was always a reason to find joy in the world, so why not smile. Their sweet little girl seemed to have inherited her mother's cheerfulness. Hailey would giggle at everything, mostly whenever she was being mischievous- that she got from him without a doubt. 

That was the best his memory could give him of that day, which was a blessing. The fragments, however, were a curse. He tried to rush to the car. He didn't think he had ever ran so fast in his life. Except, he was too late. The explosion, the fire, the feeling of despair and hopelessness, though only flashes, continued to gut him. He lost everything in that moment.

Not being able to sit still anymore, Michael got to his feet and paced. The cargo plane didn't allow for much movement, but it was something to do. It was something to drive the memories away. He didn't like talking about it, let alone thinking about it. The pain and guilt ate at Michael. Hailey and Elizabeth's death were on his head. He trusted Kasim, and he left the briefcase in the car. Yes, Kasim was the bastard that had killed his family. But a small part of Michael thought that he shouldered some of the blame as well.

Nikita jolted awake when she fell. Her lovely pillow had abruptly left her. Confused, she rubbed the sleep out of her bleary eyes and searched the plane. She knew instantly that something was wrong. Michael was pacing back and forth, his hands clenching and unclenching. After the car bomb, Nikita feared he would spiral. She saw the look of despair and horror on his face as she came out of the flames alive. He tried to hide that fact from her. But the way he kept whispering 'I love you' and holding her close afterwards, tipped her off. He was drawing parallels between the past and the present. And he was lost in pain.

As quickly as she could with sleep numb limbs and a rocking airplane, Nikita stumbled to her feet. She crossed to Michael, who didn't seem to notice she was there. She moved slowly to not startle him, and reached for his hand. Although she was able to grab hold and squeeze reassuringly, he didn't react to her presence. He was too far gone. 

"Hey, Babe," She tried. Her voice was barely a whisper while she spoke. Michael barely squeezed back. Gently, she pushed back his hair that had flopped in his face, "Hey. I'm right here."

She wasn't sure of the best way to reach him. Whenever Michael woke from a nightmare, she could simply soothe him with soft words and gentle touches. Except, that wasn't a nightmare. He was living in the past, and she had to help him get back to the present. With the recent events they went through still plaguing their minds, however, Nikita didn't know if that were possible at the moment. 

Knowing he was not one to express his feelings with many words, she focused more on action. It was small, slow movements to get him to sit back down. His eyes were locked onto nothing in particular. They roamed wildly, matching his wild thoughts. Nikita caressed his cheek, turning him to face her. She pressed her forehead against his, so that he had nothing to look at but her.

They sat like that for a while. It wasn't until Michael reached for her, that she knew whatever she was doing was working. He held onto her waist, and awkwardly pulled her into a hug. She cradled his head against her neck, feeling tears pool there. She ran soothing hands up and down his back, while he held her tightly. After another long moment, he eventually breathed out, “Thank you.”

Nikita only nodded in response. She continued to hold Michael, until he started to fall asleep. Together, the two of them shifted positions so that they were somewhat laying down. They drifted off to sleep, feeling secure in each other’s arms.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A season 2 AU. Inspired by requests on Fanfiction for Mikita and Salex role reversals. Also, I know women weren't allowed in the Navy Seals until 2015. But it's fanfiction, who cares.

Lieutenant Alexandra Udinov was confused, and that was a rare thing to admit to. She prided herself in knowing everything that was happening. But after being ordered to gather information on a secret black ops unit that her senator father basically ran, she was in constant bewilderment. It didn’t help that she was continuously lied to by Amanda and Percy. Alex couldn’t get a straight answer out of anybody at Division. It was lies and cover ups over lies and cover ups; she wasn’t even given any solid answers from her own father. She was wandering around blind, much to her annoyance. 

She couldn’t just walk away, however. Being the first female Navy Seal taught her that she could never quit; she always had to be the best version of herself. All eyes were on her. Any misstep, and the world would turn against her. So she was the girl scout, the perfect little soldier. Alex followed every order perfectly, even if she didn’t agree with it one hundred percent. And that particular assignment, she had a lot of reservations about. The idea and practice of a unit like Division was horrific to her. She couldn’t understand how her father could sanction it. But she never voiced those thoughts. Instead, she focused on the good part of the job- reigning the rogue elements in.

However, it was the rogue elements that puzzled her the most. Not Percy and Amanda, she got their need for power. And not Michael, she understood his need for revenge after Division forced him to kill for them. It was Nikita that confused her. Nikita had been a Naval intelligence officer. She had served her country honorably, and was given the opportunity to run missions for a black ops unit. According to all accounts, Nikita was a great soldier, leader, and handler. She was going to go far in the service. But then, out of almost nowhere, she turned her back on Division and ran off with their number one enemy. It didn’t make any sense.

When Alex asked about Nikita, all she received in response was that she was seduced by Michael. He had hooked her with sex, and brought her down to his level. Alex didn’t believe that. A woman like Nikita would never risk everything for some guy. No man was ever worth throwing a life away. There had to be more to the story, a piece of information that would make everything come together. Alex wasn’t going to get that answer from just anybody, though. There was only one person in Division whom she could trust.

Sean Pierce, the heir to Zetrov, had no stakes in the Division versus Michael fight. His entire family was killed by the black ops unit; he would give everything to see them burn to the ground. He just had to get revenge on the people who ordered the hit first. That was how Michael had secured him as a mole. The two worked together to sabotage the place, before Sean discovered that Michael had been lying to him- that Michael was the one to actually pull the trigger and kill his mother. At the moment, Sean was neutral. He didn’t care who won, as long as he completed his goal of revenge. So, Alex turned to him for help.

She found him in a neglected training room. It looked like an old boxing gym. Agents and recruits must’ve abandoned it for the better equipped training area upstairs. Sean was alone in the room, which he seemed to prefer. He could be safe with his thoughts and musings, and no prying eyes could spy on him. With earbuds blasting music, Sean didn’t notice Alex’s approach. She was able to study him for a moment. He was intently focused on pummeling the punching bag in front of him. It was as though he was releasing all of his frustrations into the movement. His body was fluid and quick, evidence of his training- as a recruit or as Michael’s protégé, Alex wasn’t sure. What she was sure of, however, was that he was shirtless. She was being honest with herself as she admitted that his muscular chest nicely distracted her for a second. 

Entering into Sean’s line of sight, Alex made a motion for him to remove his earbuds. He complied, stopping his exercise to catch his breath. To say he was annoyed would’ve been an understatement, “What do you want, Alex?”

His attitude was warranted. She deserved to be snapped at by him. Their previous interactions hadn’t been pleasant ones. They clashed with each other almost consistently. Alex had to put that aside, though, in order to get what she wanted, “I need to ask you a couple of questions. You’re the only one who won’t lie to me.”

Rolling his hazel eyes, Sean began to unwrap the padding on his strong fists, “Finally figured that out, huh?”

Alex wasn’t going to respond to the quip. There were more important things than arguing with him. She did cross her arms over her chest and jut her chin out in defiance, however, “What’s the deal with Nikita?”

“Nikita?” He paused in confusion, “Don’t you mean ‘Michael’? He is the big bad here.”

“I think I know who I mean. Why did Nikita turn on Division? It can’t possibly be because she was seduced.”

Sean laughed suddenly and loudly. Alex found herself inexplicably drawn to the sound. She quickly shook the feeling off, more interested in his response than whatever that was, “Is that what they told you? Come on.”

He moved across the room to a bench holding a water bottle and a bag. Dumping the iPod, earbuds, and wrappings into the duffel, Sean reached for the refreshing water. Alex followed him, continuing to press the topic, “Then why defect? Nikita had a future here. She could’ve gone far.”

“No, she couldn’t have,” Wiping away the water that sloshed on his full lips, Sean negated. His tone was serious, nearly melancholic, “Trust me. Nikita had her reasons for leaving this hellhole.”

“Like what?” 

Slowly, Sean regarded Alex. He looked her over with penetrating eyes. She didn’t cower under the glare. He was sizing her up, seeing if she really was trustworthy. Her actions in the past didn’t help her. She was working for Oversight, of which her father was a prominent member. And she would support her father as best as she could. However, she needed to know the truth. So, she put her hands up in surrender and gave a weak smile, “Off the record.”

It took him a moment, but Sean did reply, “Division killed her husband and daughter.”

“What? I thought a terrorist…”

“A Division agent masquerading as a terrorist, yeah,” Sean interrupted Alex, voice sharply dripping with acid, “The second she found out the truth, she jumped ship.”

Alex collapsed on the bench, attempting to absorb the information. She knew the black ops unit operated too much in the black, that was why she was there after all. But killing the family of a servicewoman, someone who worked for the same country they did, was something else. Division’s activities were more vile than she had originally thought. She looked up at Sean, lost. He wasn't looking back at her. 

He had worked himself up, and was pacing across the floor, “You’re lucky you have Daddy to protect you. Division would gladly take out anyone you care about. My parents, Nikita’s family, and Michael’s fianceé were all just missions. They were ways to make money and keep people in line.”

“I… I’m sorry,” It was lame; she wasn’t sure why she had said it. Yet it was out there. Sean sighed, and sat next to her on the bench. He held his head in his hands, massaging away a headache. Alex glanced towards him with sincerity in her blue eyes, “Thanks for telling me.”

After a moment, he brought his eyes up to meet hers. They stared at one another, the weight of their conversation heavy around them. Sean soon got to his feet, and grabbed his things. Alex didn’t make a move to stop him. As he left, he called bitterly over his shoulder, “Now you know who you’re working for.”

Yeah. She definitely knew then.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set after the events of 4x06 "Canceled". Inspired by Nikita's comment about them being mad they eloped.

“Take off your shirt,” Michael instructed as they crashed into the beach house. Nikita glanced at him with intrigued eyebrows and a flirtatious smirk. She ignored his order, focusing instead on hiding away their weapons and gear. Her actions were slow and stiff, the result of a nasty gash along her side. Rolling his eyes, Michael grabbed for the first aid kit and reached for Nikita. She allowed him to pull her into his arms, and gently remove her shirt. The material was sticky with blood, making the process tough and painful. She did her best to hide the wince, but he caught it. He didn’t point it out, however. He was more focused on her blood.

“I know it’s our honeymoon, but I would love to shower before I let you undress me,” Nikita attempted humor, yet the joke fell flat. Wordlessly, Michael took an alcohol wipe and cleaned the wound. She had to bite her lip to not yelp in pain. Although it was only a graze, the wound was deep. Nikita and Michael had caught up to the soldier for hire who had forced a gun on that boy. It didn’t take them long to make him tell them where his base was. After taking care of that vile man, bringing the child somewhere safe, changing their clothes, and grabbing their gear, the recently married couple did what they did best. They saved the day. 

It was a fairly efficient operation; the soldiers for hire and their base were destroyed. Nikita and Michael were even able to get out right before the feds showed up. However, they didn’t get away completely scot-free. There were some nicks and bruises, and of course a nice bullet graze on Nikita’s ribs. As Michael cleaned it with the biting swap, she closed her eyes tightly. Healing the wound was always a lot more painful than actually getting hurt.

“Sit down while I wash my hands and disinfect the supplies. It’s gonna need stitches,” Instructing again, he hurried to the bathroom. She at least sat down on the arm of the couch. But she did not like the idea of stitches. She tried to get a look at the gash, except her breast blocked her view. Pressing down her boob caused her skin to pull and her injury to pulse in pain. She gave up that attempt, and reached for the bandages in the first aid kit. Enough of those thick gauzes should’ve done the trick. Before Nikita could patch herself up, however, Michael was rushing back into the living room.

Kneeling down in front of her, he flashed her an admonishing glance. Though slightly annoyed, as he pulled her hands away he smirked up at her and tenderly kissed her knuckles, “Can you actually let me take care of you, now that we're married?”

Nikita couldn’t stop the bright smile that bloomed across her features. Michael and her were married. She had her happily ever after with the love of her life. It was just that morning that they had decided to elope. They had woken in each other’s arms feeling light, happy, and free. It was only natural for them to run off to the local courthouse and make it official. Sure, their wedding bands were the first things they could find that could pass as rings. And yes, their family hadn’t been there to share the happiness with them. But, Michael and Nikita were married. Nothing in the world could have taken away the joy they felt.

Except, maybe, Michael’s stitching ability. The first two stitches weren’t that horrendous, yet the third one made her jerk and yelp as he roughly pulled it through her skin. Immediately, he launched into an apology, “I’m so sorry, Babe. I’m trying not to hurt you.”

“Michael,” Her voice was as tense as her body. She held in a breath at another pass of the needle. When that was briefly over she choked out, “Your hands can work magic. But not while doing this.”

Her innuendo made him laugh and pause his work. She let out a sigh in relief. After a moment, he resumed his actions doing his best to be gentle. The process would have gone smoother if she wasn’t tense. So, Michael tried to distract Nikita, “You were right, about showering before we start any honeymoon activities. I was thinking we could do that together. Do our part in conserving water.”

“Saving the planet is very important,” She played along, focusing on his words and not the needle. 

“As is proper hygiene. And you’re going to need help making sure your stitches stay clean,” Making certain that the wound was sufficiently closed, he grinned at her. She grinned back, but more out of relief that the torture was over. Michael placed a tender kiss slightly above her injury. When that earned him a contented sigh, he traveled higher with his kisses until he reached her lips. Nikita thread her fingers through his hair while they kissed lovingly. They soon had to break apart in order for Michael to clean up. She watched him leave the room, a dreamy smile gracing her features.

A cell phone ringing brought Nikita out of her reverie. She located it haphazardly tossed on the couch cushions, and checked the ID. From the bathroom Michael shouted, “Don’t answer.”

“It’s Birkhoff,” She replied, accepting the call, “Hey, Nerd. Only have a second to talk. What’s up?”

“Oh. Not much, Nikki. What’s going on with you,” He sounded strange through the phone, almost as if he knew something she didn’t. Confused, Nikita put the call on speaker for Michael to hear as he reentered. He gave her a ‘what the hell’ look, that she only answered with a shrug. Birkhoff continued his questioning, his tone never wavering, “Is Mikey there?”

“Yeah, right here,” Michael kept it short and simple. The conversation was cutting into the fun plans he had just made with his wife.

“Great. Just want to check in with both of you guys. See what you did today. Wonder why you didn’t call any of us,” At the nerd’s words, the couple snapped towards each other. Panic filled their eyes. If any one of their friend’s found out about their impromptu marriage, it would’ve been Birkhoff. No one could hide anything from the Shadowwalker. 

They did their best to cover it up, however. Michael moved closer to Nikita, twisting his wedding ring, “Why would we call you?”

“Uh, because you went on a mission without us,” Birkhoff replied as though they were stupid, “You seriously couldn’t go three weeks without putting yourselves in danger? Come on, guys. I know we’re supposed to be normal now, but we could’ve helped out. Maybe stopped that nasty wound on Nikki’s side.”

Michael and Nikita breathed out an awkward laugh. Collapsing on the couch, they relaxed. The couple weren’t trying to keep their marriage a complete secret from their family. But they did want to tell them about it in person at their family dinner that weekend. It would’ve been better that way. Everyone would be too full of food and drink to really yell at them. Nikita brought the phone speaker closer to herself, smiling, “You looking at pictures of us, Nerd?”

“Shadownet caught you on the news. Luckily, I was able to pull it down before anyone else saw you idiots,” With his typical air of arrogance, Birkhoff explained.

Rolling his eyes, Michael moved to hang up, “Thanks, Man. But we gotta go, so…”

“Wait. What’s that?” The former hacker’s interruption froze the former agent’s motion. His voice grew distant from the phone while he continued, “Sonya, do you see this? What is it?”

Nikita shared a concerned glance with her husband, “Nerd, what’s up? Is something wrong?”

It was a long moment before Birkhoff responded, “Yeah. Yeah something is. Why do you have wedding rings on in the picture?”

“Because, Seymour, they eloped today,” Sonya could be heard shouting over the phone, as well as the clacking of a computer keyboard. Instantly, Michael and Nikita knew they were in trouble. Having friends who could hack was just the worst. They tossed the cell on the coffee table, waiting to be chewed out for their rash decisions. It was silent for a while, however. Neither Birkhoff nor Sonya said a word. Instead, the couple heard the chime of another caller being added to the conversation.

“Hey, you guys having a party without me?” Alex joked once she entered the call.

“Why don’t you tell her what you did today, Nikita,” Nerd harshly invited her to speak.

Telling Sonya and Birkhoff she and Michael got married without them was one thing. Letting her best friend know, well she was walking into a world of hurt. It was going to be more painful than the stitches. So, she took the cowards way out, “Michael and I stopped some soldiers for hire that were using kids as troops.”

Alex beamed, “That’s awesome! I was actually just talking to some diplomats about the abundance of child soldiers out there. Maybe you could help me give a presentation on the topic at my next…”

“No. No UN crap. Tell her what else happened today,” Birkhoff was not having it.

Michael attempted to explain, “We didn’t actually plan on doing it. If that helps.”

“If we had planned, you guys would’ve definitely been there,” Nikita continued. But she was met with silence from the nerds and confusion from Alex. Sighing, she finally admitted, “Michael and I eloped this morning.”

“You what?” Eventually, Alex shouted. 

Birkhoff snapped, “They got married, Alex. Without us.”

“Again, we didn’t plan on anything. It just happened,” Michael hurried to reiterate. More yelling was probably about to start, and they had to put an end to it.

Adding to her husband, Nikita shared their plans for that weekend, “We were going to tell you at family dinner. There was going to be a huge celebration, kinda like a wedding reception. You know we would never do anything without our family, right?”

Sonya was the first to break the quiet that followed. Her voice was full of cheer and congratulations, “I can’t stay angry with you two. I understand your need to just get it all over with. I’m happy for you guys. Truly.”

“Thanks, Sonya,” The couple sighed with small grins. Michael took Nikita’s hand in his, squeezing it tight. They looked at each other, and their smiles grew. Being afraid that their family would be mad was stupid. They were happy, of course their friends would be as well. They had all fought so hard for that damned happy ending; it was what they deserved. Who cared exactly how they got there, Michael and Nikita finally got what they had always wanted.

“Yeah. Happy for you too. I guess,” Eventually, Birkhoff grumbled. Sonya must’ve gotten to him. She was a good influence. 

Alex, however, was still upset. Or at least partially upset, “I expect a better apology than that this weekend. And a shopping spree where I can yell at you in length.”

“Absolutely,” Nikita agreed.

“Good. Now I gotta go. But if you two ever do anything life changing without calling us first again, I’ll kill you. Got it?” Although she threatened, her tone was light.

“Absolutely,” Michael agreed.

Satisfied, Alex hung up. Birkhoff and Sonya stayed on the line for a couple seconds more to say their goodbyes, then ended the call also. Michael reached to turn off the cell phone, tossing it even further away from them. Nikita laughed, but it was quickly cut short by a kiss. Her husband was wasting no time in returning to their original plans, not that she was ever going to complain. She kissed him back, allowing him to pull her gently into his lap. 

Nikita and Michael were married. Even though that was constantly repeated throughout the night, it didn’t mean that the fact didn’t fill Nikita with overwhelming joy every time. They got their freedom, their happy ending. Sure, things didn’t entirely change. The couple still fought bad guys, and their family was still insane. But they were starting a new chapter in their lives. And they would face it all head on, together forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading these stories. I can't believe I wrote so many, but knowing people are enjoying them encourages me to continue.


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set between 2x19 "Wrath" and 2x20 "Shadow Walker". Inspired by a comment on Fanfiction and by the fact that Sean and Michael have a lot of shared trauma.

“Hey Man, we’re ordering a pizza. What toppings do you want?” Michael walked into the guestroom where Sean sometimes crashed. Recently the Seal had been staying over at the beach house more often than not. Between saving Division from Clean Sweep, helping Alex in Russia, and chasing down Brandt, Sean hadn’t had a real chance to go home and rest. He more or less floated around locations, sleeping wherever he could. He honestly preferred the beach house the most. There was something about the place that seemed safe to him. He didn’t mind the company either.

Sean had left the door open, allowing Michael to walk right in and find him sitting stiffly on the bed. A photograph was held in his hand with a vice like grip. But he wasn’t looking at it. Instead, he was staring transfixed at the wall in front of him. Michael hesitantly moved further into the room; Sean didn’t react to his presence. Pocketing the burner phone he was placing the order on, the agent tried for the Seal’s attention, “Hey. You alright?”

He had to blink a couple of times to register the other man and his question. Although he looked at Michael, Sean’s hazel eyes remained unfocused, “Yeah. Yeah.”

That wasn’t convincing enough for Michael. He had dealt with Nikita brushing him off so many times, he could tell instantly when something wasn’t right. He closed the distance between himself and Sean, getting a better glance at the photograph. It was of Sean in his Navy uniform, surrounded by what appeared to be his team. The men were smiling, and looked to have been caught goofing around before the picture was taken. Michael was sure he had a picture just like that at one point. The camaraderie a soldier had with their team was sometimes the only thing they had. And joking with one another was one of the few things to get them through the rough days.

Sitting next to Sean on the bed, Michael nodded towards the photograph. A wistful smile pulled at his lips, “How’s your team doing?”

After a moment, Sean shrugged, “We’re on leave. It’s why I had the Oversight assignment.”

“Thought you got that ‘cause you’re a mama’s boy,” Michael kept his tone light and teasing. He had a hunch about what Sean was thinking over. The agent had spent many nights awake lost in thought over what had happened ‘over there’. It was best to talk about it, possibly with someone else who understood. Otherwise, the thoughts could swallow you whole.

The Seal breathed out a small laugh, finally bringing his eyes to the photograph in his hands. His thumb brushed over the face of the soldier standing next to him in the picture, “Yeah, well that too.”

Michael noticed his motion, but decided not to comment on it. Sean would tell him eventually. For the time being, he would keep the conversation on non specifics, “On leave doesn’t mean you can’t stay connected. One of my buddies and I used to talk everyday. Mostly swapping stories about our kids, but also to keep each other grounded.”

“You don’t talk about them. Your wife and daughter,” Sean commented, not tearing his eyes away from his picture. Michael sighed, and ran his fingers through his hair. He was slightly caught off guard by the statement. No one really asked about them, besides Nikita. But maybe that was because he never said anything about them. They were held closely to his chest, a well kept secret that only a few were privy to. Sean must’ve read his file while working for Oversight. Any good soldier would’ve read up on their enemy as best as they could.

“I do,” Michael replied simply; he did talk about Hailey and Elizabeth. It was in quiet moments with Nikita when he felt safe enough to share his memories, or a couple times with Birkhoff and Alex when he just couldn’t keep them to himself. He shared his family with those he trusted most. Maybe that was why he kept them secret for so long. He never trusted anyone as much as he trusted Nikita, Birkhoff, and Alex. Thinking about it at that moment, he realized Sean was almost on that list as well. He had proved to be a great man. However, Michael still needed a little more to trust him completely.

“They died in a car bomb like my mother,” Sean muttered almost to himself.

There it was, the reason he brought up his family and the reason for his far off stare. Sean’s mother had died less than a week prior. He was still healing from the shock and grief. Empathetically, Michael nodded. He decided to share a little more, “They died in a Percy sanctioned car bomb like your mother.”

Sean snapped his head towards the agent; he was not expecting that information. He took a second before asking, “How’d you get over it.”

“I didn’t, not at first,” It was Michael’s turn to stare off into the distance, “I also didn’t know the truth at first.”

“Then what happened?”

Choosing his words carefully, Michael turned his attention back to Sean, “Nikita. I found someone to talk to.”

The Seal rolled his eyes and scoffed, “Who can I talk to about this? It’s not like I can tell anybody about Division and Oversight. Even if they believe me, I’ll sound insane.”

“Alright, so they won’t know the whole truth. But I think your sisters know what it’s like to lose a mother. And your team knows what it’s like to lose someone you care about,” Michael finally addressed the soldier Sean kept staring at, “Who was he?”

Sean studied the photograph a little longer, then handed it to Michael for him to see, “He was my partner. He was tortured and killed. I could’ve helped him, but I let him down. You never leave a man behind.”

His last words were quiet and regretful. Handing back the picture, the agent matched the Seal’s tone, “I’m sorry. I know what that’s like.”

“I could’ve helped him, Lisa, my mother. There’s just too many people who I couldn’t save. I just wasn’t fast enough,” Sean continued, spiraling. He started to pace the room. The photograph crumbled in his tight grip, “I left them behind and now they’re dead. I thought I could help change things in Division, but soldiers are still dying because of me.” 

Michael got to his feet, and attempted to settle the man despite the fact that he wasn’t sure exactly what he was getting at, “None of it was your fault, Sean. It’s the bastards who killed them that are to blame.”

It wasn’t an original statement, but it worked on Sean. He unclenched his fists, and ceased pacing. He glanced at Michael, his eyes still wild. The agent flashed a rare, calming smile and held up a placating hand, “Just go home. Talk to your sisters, talk to your team. And if that’s not enough, then talk to us. We’re here for you too. Especially Alex.” 

Sean didn’t seem to believe in Michael’s words for a moment. He was torn between his survivor’s guilt and thinking reasonably. After a long while, the Seal let out a heavy breath. He nodded his thanks to Michael, who nodded back. Soon the agent left the guestroom to inform the others that Sean would be eating dinner with his sisters instead.Things weren’t exactly resolved yet, but he was on the mend. He would heal, eventually.


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set after the events of 2x21 "Dead Drop". Inspired by my own family game nights.

They were not allowed to play boardgames anymore. They were all too stubborn, prideful, and competitive to let a simple game just be simple. The thing was, they were supposed to be relaxing. They had a major win under their belt, and they deserved a night of celebration and rest. It was a taste of what was to come at the end of the long war. Drinking, eating, talking, and laughing, they enjoyed their time just being. No perilous missions or nefarious plots were in their way. They got to be a normal family. However, they were not normal people. And the night soon spiraled out of control. 

Kendrick hadn’t stayed long. He called it a night and returned to his own home around the time they started to argue about which takeout to order; in his defense, the argument turned heated fairly quickly. They eventually came to a resolution, ordering from different places. They ate their various dinners, and continued to joke around. As the night wound down, so did they. The conversations and laughter ended, leaving them in companionable silence. 

Birkhoff didn't seem to be able to take the quiet, however. Stretching, he got to his feet and wondered, “Yo Ryan, you got anything to do in this house?”

“Uh yeah. There’s a whole bunch of boardgames in the closet,” Ryan pointed towards where the activities were hiding. Believe it or not, the safehouse actually came with some of the games already there- probably left behind by the previous tenant. Ryan had acquired the rest, needing something to do when he wasn’t searching for ways to take down Division.

While Birkhoff searched for a game that they could all play, Alex shook her head. She slid from her perch on the arm of the couch down to where the nerd had been sitting. Her feet dug into Nikita’s thigh, “Count me out. I’m not playing any games with Nikita.”

“What I do?” Nikita turned to Alex, confused. She pressed her leg against the young woman’s toes to make her move, but it didn’t work. The two sat there pushing against each other, and not moving.

Rolling her eyes, Alex huffed, “You cheated the last time we played ‘Clue’. There’s no way you could’ve guessed the killer that quickly.”

Whereas the room erupted in laughter, Nikita glared at her best friend, “We were the only two playing. And it’s not like the game is that hard.”

“It is just basic deductions,” Ryan came to Nikita’s aide. She gestured her thanks for the back up, while Alex rolled her eyes again. Returning with a stack of possible boardgames to play, Birkhoff diffused the tension between them. He placed the pile on the coffee table, and began to dig through them. Nikita and Alex sifted through the contents as well. They both hoped there would be a game they could play that would put an end to the cheating debate. One of them was right, and they couldn’t wait to prove the other wrong.

“Here. ‘Trouble’. It’s impossible to cheat at this game. The dice is in a bubble,” Finally, Nikita yanked out the children’s game. Alex appeared satisfied with the choice, and cleared a spot on the table for them to play.

“Guys, that’s only a four person game,” Michael was hesitant to let Nikita out of his loose hold, as she and Alex moved to sit on the floor. He was certain his girlfriend wasn’t a cheater, although she was a little too fast whenever they played “Speed”. Either way, he didn’t want a death match to develop between the two women. Knowing their stubbornness, it wasn’t going to end well.

Nikita found the solution to the problem, tossing another boardgame at him, “You guys can play ‘Risk’. Men like war games.”

“Hey. There’s not enough blue,” Alex’s complaint brought Nikita’s attention back to her. She threw a green one at her to complete the set, and placed her own red pieces. Michael looked to Sean, Ryan, and even Birkhoff for support. But Ryan was only interested in playing the strategy game, Sean was distracted by staring adoringly at Alex, and Birkhoff was aiming to join in on “Trouble”. He had to use some misplaced “Sorry” pieces because there weren’t enough for the actual game. 

“I’m down to play ‘Risk’,” Getting up to move to another room, Ryan took the box from Michael. He nodded to the women and the nerd trying to find the instructions in the torn box, “It’d be good to get away from this disaster.”

He had a point there; Michael agreed, and so did Sean. The agent helped the Seal up out of his seat, and the three men went to another room away from the others. Nikita, Alex, and Birkhoff paid them no mind. When they couldn’t find the instructions, they argued over how they remembered the game was supposed to be played. Nerd soon caved in and looked up the directions online. Nikita gloated once they discovered she had the best memory and recollection. Pushing the bubble to roll the dice, Alex ignored her friend's bragging. If any one of them replied anytime someone gloated, it was going to be a long game.

“Trouble” started off well enough after the instructions debacle. The three allowed the others to taunt knowing it was all in jest- at first. The jokes quickly grated on one another, and as they purposely moved to get people out the more irritating they became. Nikita and Alex were mostly going after each other; the cheating comments still on their minds. Birkhoff was only an afterthought. If he got out, then that was just collateral damage. With the attention off of him, and with the wrong game pieces, the nerd decided to make the game more interesting for himself.

The sole reason he wanted to play “Trouble” was to antagonize the women; not playing “Risk” with super-thinker Ryan was a bonus. It was always fun to rile up and tease Nikita and Alex, especially when they were being too serious. Near the end of the game, Birkhoff kept inching his pieces forward. The women didn’t notice, and if they did they shrugged it off. The “Sorry” pieces were too large for the game, so a slight change in position didn’t raise any suspicions. 

Until, Birkhoff moved at the wrong time. Nikita caught him nudging the token. Instantly, she snapped, “You mother fucking cheater.”

Alex glanced up from her move, bewildered. She thought Nikita was talking to her for a second. But seeing Nerd’s guilty expression, she caught onto what happened, “Couldn’t stand losing to a bunch of girls, huh?”

“What? I didn’t cheat. I was just shifting the piece a little,” Birkhoff tried to cover.

Nikita called bullshit, “Liar. You’re trying to get your last one in. I saw you.”

“And you’ve never been wrong before?”

Blue eyes widening, Alex glanced between the two. Honestly, she was a little terrified of what was going to happen next. Nikita stared daggers at Birkhoff, slowly reaching towards him. The nerd flinched. She smirked in satisfaction, yet instead of attacking him she attacked his game piece. Roughly, she flicked it back across the board, “There.”

While Alex laughed and Nikita grinned, Birkhoff scowled. He retaliated by snatching one of Nikita’s pieces in his hand, and closing his fist tightly. Alex laughed louder, but Nikita gasped. The agent launched at the nerd, attempting to take it back. If it were possible, Birkhoff closed his fist tighter. Nikita clawed at his hand, to no avail. In desperation and also absolute annoyance, she twisted his wrist around into a break hold.

“Give it back, Nerd,” She demanded menacingly. Despite the tense moment, Alex continued to giggle. She knew nothing terrible was going to happen. And if it did, Birkhoff would’ve deserved it. He didn’t give in to Nikita, however. He gritted his teeth, reached up, and yanked at her ponytail. She couldn’t stop the yelp of pain that bubbled out of her, “Ow! Are you fucking serious?”

Nerd and agent continued to inflict pain on the other, hoping that at least one of them would yield. She pushed on his bent wrist, and he tugged her hair. At some point Birkhoff kicked out a foot involuntarily. It struck Alex in the ribs. She stopped laughing, shoving him away from her. The push caused Birkhoff and Nikita to separate from one another. Whereas he stretched his sore wrist and breathed, she threw herself at him again. That time, Alex was by her side. The young woman managed to hold him down while Nikita pried open his fingers. Birkhoff resisted the best he could, yet when the agent bit him it was all over. Finally he let go of the piece, shouting. 

Cheering, Nikita and Alex climbed off of Birkhoff. The women went back to the boardgame, as though nothing had happened. The nerd, however, sat on the floor pouting, “It’s just a stupid game, Nikki. I don’t even want to play anymore.”

Nikita rolled her eyes, “Oh now it’s just a game. But when you were cheating and stealing it was all serious.”

“You’re such a sore loser,” Alex scoffed.

“Why are you guys so mean?” Massaging his injured hand, Birkhoff scrambled to his feet.

Before the women could reply, Sean, Michael, and Ryan entered from the other room. They studied the three concerned by the shouting that they had heard. Seeing that there was nothing really amiss, Michael questioned “What the hell is going on?”

“Princess Alex held me down while your damn girlfriend bit me,” Birkhoff continued to complain.

Alex and Nikita started to argue their version of events, yelling “cheater” and “hair puller” and “kicker”. Tired, Michael sighed. He didn’t want to get into it. Ryan did his best to listen to each side of the story. But Sean shook his head, and called an end to the night, “I think we should just go to bed and forget everything that happened tonight.”

“Why? So you don’t have to admit defeat?” Michael replied automatically, referring to their game. Ryan held a strong lead in “Risk”, with Michael was in a struggling second. Sean barely had any territory left on the board to claim. He would’ve been out, if they hadn’t left to see what the other three were doing. Ryan laughed at the remark, as Sean glowered. Their own argument started, egged on by the women; Birkhoff just continued to sulk. 

Once things became too heated, however, all six of them did call it a night. They were better at simply hanging out together. Games and competitions shouldn't have been on their to-do list. They saw enough action in the field; they didn’t need to see it at home, especially with their constant need to prove themselves right. They had to focus more on their strong bonds as a family. For that to happen, game night had to go away. It was for the greater good.


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This AU stars in season 3 and moves throughout the series. Inspired by a comment on Fanfiction about Alex and Michael dying in season 3 and Nikita and Sean growing closer because of it.

Nothing. All she felt was nothing. When she heard the news over the coms, her insides turned to ice. Alex down. Ari shot her. Alex bleeding out. Ari gone. Alex dead. Sean’s voice was panicked the whole time. He called for help. He pleaded with her. But it was all too late. The bullet struck true. She was gone in seconds. Michael reached for Nikita, yet she was already slipping away. She marched up to Cyrus, not caring about the bomb or the possibility of death- what was the point with her best friend dead. She ignored Amanda and her taunting; you can’t save everyone. Cyrus’s and Michael’s shouts fell on deaf ears. Without thought or feeling, she ripped the wires out of the bomb diffusing it. She was done playing games.

Back at Division she was on a warpath, more so than usual. They needed to find the mole. Find the rat, and they’d find Amanda and Ari. Once those bastards were in sight, Nikita was going to kill them. Fuck the high road, or whatever she was trying to prove. Amanda and Ari had to pay for what they did. Birkhoff avoided her, so did Sonya. Ryan kept trying to talk sense, despite her lack of response. Owen did the smartest thing in his life by staying silent. And Michael attempted to comfort her, have her calm down and feel. She didn’t have time to grief, however. Revenge was the only justifiable thing to do.

Sean understood that. He was right there with Nikita, working overtime to catch the terrible twosome. Although after days of nothing, Sean cracked. He raged out on some computer equipment, and had to be dragged off to medical. There, he rotated between crying and staring off into nothing. Nikita held out just slightly longer. But the fatigue and frustration soon overwhelmed her. She collapsed on the ops floor sobbing. Michael took her home, and held her while she let it all out. They ended up talking and crying together. If it weren’t for her fiancé grieving with her, she probably wouldn’t have made it out the same. Sean didn’t.

Nikita found herself just like Sean a few days later, however. It was a good thing Birkhoff told Ryan and Michael about Sonya’s killchip first. Nikita would have torn the nerd’s head off if she discovered he was withholding vital information. Maybe if he told them sooner that Sonya was one of the moles, they could’ve saved Alex. But she didn’t have time to berate him over it. As soon as she knew about the chip and the operation to find the mole, Michael was dragging her out in the field with him. They located Amanda. The two of them would deal with her while Sean and Ryan dealt with the mole. 

Michael was talking sense into her, explaining not to yell at Birkhoff. It wasn’t his or Sonya’s fault. He was trying to protect her, and she was trying to protect the team. Ari and Amanda were to blame for Alex’s death. Sean taking care of the real mole would be cathartic for him. And when they captured Amanda, she would give up Ari’s location and they would have him in their sights. Then, they could all have justice for Alex. Yet Nikita wasn’t paying attention to any of that. She was in kill mode.

The grenade thrown under the car surprised Nikita and Michael. She was able to get her body back inside the vehicle in time, yet he wasn’t able to swerve. The explosion flipped the car. Nikita was able to regain consciousness fairly quickly. She scrambled out of the wreck, glancing swiftly at Michael to see if he was alright. He remained unconscious, his head laying at an awkward angle. A part of her jumped to the conclusion that he was okay. He fell asleep in weird positions all the time; that wasn’t any different. She left him in the burning car only for a brief second. She had to kill Ann before she could kill them. Nikita was on her way to kill Amanda as well, but she was looking at Michael in horror. 

Glancing back, Nikita understood why. The fire was approaching the gas tank. She had to get Michael out of there. So she pushed aside her need for vengeance and let Amanda get away. Her fiancé was more important. Alex would’ve wanted her to be happy. She always said they deserved their happy endings. Rushing towards the car, Nikita threw open the driver side door and started to move Michael. He was still unconscious. And he was pale. Division emergency training kicked in, making her immediately check for a pulse. Her fingers told her something her heart wouldn’t accept. 

No. It wasn't true. It couldn’t have been. She supported his neck the best she could as she got him out of the car and away from the fire. But it was of no use. His neck was already twisted and broken. She had seen it so many times before, there was no denying it. She just wouldn’t however. Nikita laid Michael’s body on the ground, pleading. Please don’t go. Please wake up. Please stay. Medical evac arrived at some point. She wasn’t sure when. They had to drag her away from him. Her screams didn’t seem to even belong to her; they were ragged and heartbroken. It was as though somebody else had possessed her body. Nikita wasn’t there anymore.

No one dared to try and talk to her. Nikita stormed into Division, her expression unreadable. She hunkered down in front of a computer, searching for any trace of Amanda or Ari. She didn’t care for Dirty Thirty missions anymore. When they came up, Ryan just sent out Owen and a couple of others with Birkhoff and Sonya providing tech support. Nikita was focused on her own missions. She never asked for help or permission. She just acted on any lead towards the bastards that took away the two people she loved most. Sean, having been benched by Ryan for emotional instability, joined her. She didn’t ask him to, and he didn’t ask to be allowed to. One day he geared up with her, and that was all. They worked almost wordlessly. They both understood what the other needed. 

When weeks passed with nothing to gain, Ryan, Birkhoff, Sonya, and even Owen attempted to reach out to Sean and Nikita. They were all hurt and grieving, they needed to work through the pain together. But Nikita and Sean wouldn’t express their pain. They couldn’t. It was so raw they were afraid to voice it. Alex’s and Michael’s deaths were too much to handle. Nikita eventually broke down in the old training room. She was staring at the mat, thinking of all the times she and Michael or she and Alex had sparred. The sob overcame her so violently, she collapsed on the ground and couldn’t get back up. Sean found her like that. Instead of comforting her, however, he fell and cried along with her. They held each other’s hand for some bit of reality to hold onto. 

It wasn’t that much time later when Ari came to them. Nikita was merciless in her torture. They got the information needed to save his son. But as they rescued him, Owen was taken by Amanda. Sean wanted to just kill Ari and Amanda and be done with it, Owen could have been damned. However, Ryan was able to appeal to Nikita. They couldn’t lose anyone else. So, they traded Ari for Owen. They didn’t lose another friend, and they secured the last black box. Which meant that without hesitation, Sean and Nikita both activated the killchip in the Russian’s head. That was one bastard down, only one more to go. 

However, after being in psycho bitch’s clutches, Owen turned to Sam. He got Division to turn as well. Ryan was injured, yet Birkhoff managed to save the day. The Division agents were finally free, and they finally had a lead on Amanda. Nikita and Sean took that lead and ran. They didn’t listen to anyone, which was why they failed. Amanda and Sam got away. Alex and Michael remained unavenged. Nikita was spiraling. All she ever saw for her efforts was failure. Her heart couldn’t take it anymore. 

She hadn’t taken off her engagement ring. She used to take it off before missions, for fear it would get damaged, lost, or get herself hurt. But then, she didn’t think she could ever remove it. That would mean finality. That would mean she had to accept Michael’s death. Sean had been doing the same with Alex’s necklace. He had taken her ‘A’ necklace after she died, and he would not remove it from around his neck. Although the chain was short for his thick neck, he didn’t bother buying a new one. He kept it exactly as she had. It was one of the few things he had left of the woman he loved most.

Once Amanda lured Nikita into the trap in the aqueducts, she took it willingly- any chance to kill the bitch. But she couldn’t, not if she wanted to save Ryan. Somehow those killer nanobots had wound up in his bloodstream. Nikita wasn’t necessarily listening to how that had happened. She was more focused on how to save him. No one else could die. Please don’t let anyone else die in that fucking fight. 

Honestly, Nikita didn’t care that Amanda wanted her to kill the president. She would do anything to save what was left of her family. She obeyed the rule of not telling anyone, but Sean figured it out. Over the months they had grown to know each other so well. A slight change in their demeanor alerted the other that something was wrong. So Sean, Birkhoff, Sonya, and Ryan came to her aide. As they found a cure, she alerted the president to the assassination attempt. Except, it was all in vain. The president shot herself. Nikita had just become the most wanted woman in the world. She managed to escape, rush back to Division in time to kill the rest of the Dirty Thirty, and help save Ryan.

They finally destroyed Division after all of that. But no one could revel in that fact, they had to keep moving. The group of them hid out in a safehouse, trying to come up with their next move. Nikita already knew her’s, though. She was the one everyone was looking for. She had to leave. It was to protect her family. She needed them to be safe. They had to be safe. Without a word, she left them. She would take down Amanda on her own. It was the only way to make certain her family stayed alive.

Months went by before Nikita had to resurface. She had found evidence that would clear her name and destroy The Shop. Everything went wrong, per usual, yet her family arrived to help her. Ryan, Sonya, and Birkhoff were understanding of her decision. Sean, on the other hand, was furious. After what they had all been through, she should've known they would’ve gotten through that as well. They were a team. They needed to stick together. It was what Michael and Alex would’ve wanted. 

That made her stay with them, and allow them to work with her- not that they weren’t already working on it. Ryan had his wall of crazy, which surprisingly fit with the evidence Nikita had collected. Together, they did succeed in destroying The Shop. It was in one massive explosion, which seemed fitting. Amanda died in the fire, much to their relief. She was finally out of their lives. Michael and Alex were finally avenged. Nikita could rest.

She wasn’t sure how to rest, however. She told their story to congress, to the world. Yet after that, she didn’t know what to do. Nikita had spent so much of her life on the warpath. She didn’t know what to do with freedom. She turned to Sean for advice. He had become her partner and confidant throughout their time together. If anyone could have comforted her, it would’ve been him. Sure he wasn’t like Michael with his words, or Alex with his actions. But he was there to support her. And she was there for him. 

When the call came about Ryan in the hospital, Sean and Nikita were in a long embrace. They had shed more tears for their loved ones, finally accepting the fact that they were gone. Wherever they were, they were happy; Sean and Nikita knew it. Except, the call ruined things. Nikita rushed to the hospital on pure instinct. It was supposed to be over. The Shop was destroyed. Amanda was dead. But that wasn’t true. Their happiness was all a lie, and Ryan had paid the price for attempting to find the truth. He shared that truth with Nikita before he joined Michael and Alex. He became another family member she had lost.

Sean worked so hard to get Nikita to listen to him. They had to play it smart. No more running on anger and action. They had to play Amanda at her own game to win. Nikita accepted his suggestion of deception, knowing deep down that he was right. But when they did have Amanda chained up and The Shop taken down for good, Nikita pulled out the gun she had hidden in her boot and shot Amanda. Birkhoff was shocked by her actions. Sean, however, had no reservations. Amanda definitely couldn’t get to them anymore. The bitch was burning in hell.

Nikita eventually knew what she was going to do with her freedom. She would take the jet they had used as a base to visit Ryan’s mom in St. Louis, Alex’s mom in Corfu, and that place in Hawaii Michael always lovingly talked about. They had died heroes, their families needed to know; the world needed to know. Alex, Michael, and Ryan deserved to be remembered for all the good they had put out there. Sean found Nikita as she was about to leave, deciding he was going with her. She would need her partner after all. She didn’t fight him on it.

The two of them ended up working in the mercenary business. They wanted to continue saving the world, make certain no one else would fall prey to the likes of Division and The Shop. They kept their clientele to those wanting to take down bad guys, not support them. Michael, Alex, and Ryan would’ve been proud of them. They were goddamn superheroes. Birkhoff and Sonya provided tech support when they could, but they had their own future to focus on. 

Over the years, Sean and Nikita continued to grow closer as partners, friends, and companions. It took them by surprise when they fell in love. They felt for a moment that they were betraying Michael and Alex. Except, it seemed right. They were happy with one another. And that was all Michael and Alex could’ve wanted for them, to live happily ever after. Sean kept the ‘A’ necklace on, and Nikita the engagement ring, but only as reminders of who they had loved so fiercely. The two were at a different point in life then. They could move on together. They had saved the world, and each other.


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set sometime in season 2. Inspired by a need for fun times.

It was a beautiful day outside. Finally, the sun was out shining and the wind had died down. It was still a bit chilly, but it wasn’t anything a jacket couldn’t fix. After what had felt like centuries, the spring thunderstorms were over. The weather was actually nice enough to venture outside and explore. The team took that opportunity excitedly. There were no active missions. Nor had there been any movements from Division. For a few hours, they could relax and unwind on the beach.

Nikita and Michael decided to use their free time to go on a walk. Hand in hand, they strolled along the sand headed nowhere in particular. The couple talked about everything and nothing, eventually settling into comfortable silence. They simply enjoyed the other by their side, as they breathed in the salty sea air. Existing only in the moment, stress and worry seemed to lift off of their shoulders. They found themselves at peace; a rare feeling, but one the couple hoped they could achieve forever.

Her thoughts wandering, Nikita didn’t notice how wildly she was swinging Michael’s hand. He didn’t mind; the carefree movement actually made him smile. He squeezed her hand securely in his, matching pace with her swing. She noticed the movement then, and laughed at the silliness. The chill in the air caused her laugh to mist in front of her face. It was faint, but the wisps were there. Nikita gasped in excitement at the fact. She had always loved seeing her breath in the wind. There wasn’t a real explanation as to why she did. Maybe she took joy in seeing the entrails of her life suspended in front of her. The wispy gray evidence of her still beating heart could have brought a comforting knowledge to her. In seeing her breath, she knew she was alive.

“Kay, now you’re doing that on purpose,” Michael nudged Nikita as she continued to huff her breath into the chilled air. She grinned to herself, and breathed out once more much to his slight annoyance, “Really?”

“What? I’m only breathing,” Nikita shrugged innocently. Her smirk betrayed her act, however.

Michael rolled his green eyes, pulling gently on her hand to guide her back towards the beach house. She followed his silent suggestion, but not without more puffs of hot air to smoke in the chill around them. When he turned to her to say something sarcastic about it, Nikita blew in his face. He was stunned for a second, processing her act. She was just laughing and enjoying herself. He couldn’t have that last long. He needed to retaliate. Swiftly, and without too much thought, Michael scooped Nikita up in his arms bridal carry style. She was stunned silent too, but quickly she began to shriek as he carried her to the freezing ocean.

“Michael Bishop! Don’t you dare,” Her warning traveled up the beach to where Alex and Sean were seated in the sand. Though they only heard “Michael” and “don’t” over the sound of the waves, the message was clear. They glanced up at their friends, instantly erupting in laughter. Nikita was trying her best to wiggle out of Michael’s strong arms, while he struggled to walk towards the water. Neither were making any progress.

Whereas Michael and Nikita walked along the beach, Alex and Sean decided to make sandcastles. Alex admitted that although she had been to the beach for family vacations before, she never actually played in the sand. Her mother didn’t want her to track sand everywhere once they got back to the hotel. Sean said it was a tragedy she never made a sandcastle, and he just absolutely had to teach her; he was the best at building them after all. Although she rolled her blue eyes, she sat in the sand next to him. 

Alex was more focused on Sean than the sandcastle they were attempting to construct. Well, he was the one mostly doing the work. She simply piled up some sand and dug around. They began talking about what the perfect castle would look like, but it soon turned into storytelling. Alex listened with rapt attention as Sean shared his family memories with her. Each one seemed more fun and joyful than the last. When it came time for her to share her own stories, she was hesitant. But after looking into his safe hazel eyes, she relaxed. Alex didn’t talk about her past much. If she did, it was mostly to Nikita. Yet, when it came to talking to Sean, she felt comfortable enough to tell him her own family memories.

A shriek from near the ocean interrupted the two. They were quick to see what was the matter, Division and Seal training kicking in. Except it was only Michael and Nikita messing around. They ended up laughing and cheering them on. Sean whooped and hollered, while Alex shouted, “Kick his ass Nikita!”

Instead of some epic agent move most would’ve expected, Nikita flailed out of Michael’s arms causing both of them to collapse on the sand. He was chuckling at the outcome, but she wasn’t- not until she shoved sand into his face. Her giggle quickly disappeared, however, as he reached for her with sand in his fist. She scrambled to her feet, racing up the beach towards the safehouse. He followed, a bit more awkward in his footing than her.

“Come on, Michael. Make her pay,” Sean encouraged, abandoning the simple sandcastle he had almost finished. 

“Gold medal round,” Alex chimed in. Nikita picked up speed, almost tripping in the slippery sand. She managed to right herself, and kick sand at the approaching Michael. The group continued to laugh and cheer, overwhelmed in joy. 

Birkhoff, however, was not. He had been reclining in a beach chair, and playing on his tablet. Closest to the house, the nerd was enjoying his rare solitude away from the rest of the team. He was so sick and tired of walking in on whatever Michael and Nikita were doing, and whatever Alex and Sean were attempting to do. It was nice to be by himself again. It was quiet. Birkhoff could play one of the videogames he had neglected in peace. He could also message Sonya on their private chatroom they had created. If only she would respond. They both knew being able to chat was going to be limited to whenever she was away from Division. And it wasn’t as though the chats were that serious, just sharing tech advice.

But, Birkhoff had grown fond of their conversations. He enjoyed Sonya’s company, and her quips. He looked forward to when they could connect. So of course, with his peace interrupted and his hopes of talking to Sonya crushed, Birkhoff snapped. He was done with beach day, “Will you guys shut up?”

Michael and Nikita glanced at the nerd quizzically as they came to a stop. Sean silently mocked his tone of voice. And Alex turned towards him, her eyebrows raised, “Do you wanna say that nicely?”

“Maybe fresh air is bad for him. Kind of the negative effect of staring at a computer all day,” Shrugging, Sean teased. Alex appeared to agree with the statement, earning both of them a glare from Birkhoff. The Seal shook his head, smirking, “Come on man, lighten up a bit. Enjoy the day.”

Sharing a look with Nikita, Michael attempted to ease the tension, “It’s been pretty stressful lately. We all need a break. A walk is a great way to relax.”

“It really is. There’s so many cool seashells along the water too. I even got you some Nerd,” Nikita added as she approached Birkhoff. Sitting up in the chair, he placed aside his tablet. He was wary to believe Nikita had actually brought him seashells. He knew her well enough to know that she had something up her sleeve. He wasn’t fast enough to avoid it, however. Nikita shook out and dumped the sand in her hair and clothes all over him. 

“Seriously, Nikki?” Birkhoff got to his feet and pushed her away. She pushed back, so he pushed again harder. She stumbled back over Sean and Alex’s sandcastle. Although they complained about all their hard work ruined, Nikita grinned. 

She motioned for him to keep going, “That’s right. Let out all that frustration.”

Sean and Alex caught onto the plan Michael and Nikita had worked out silently, and moved out of the way. Birkhoff had never sparred with Nikita before. He quickly remembered why he never wanted to, though. He was flat on his back in the sand almost immediately. Michael helped him to his feet, giving him some pointers on how to take her down. They didn’t work, yet he lasted longer in the second round. 

Nikita was right; he needed to let out his frustrations. All of the team did. Which was why a nice day out on the beach was such a great idea. Michael and Nikita were able to enjoy the day as a couple. They laughed, talked, and spent much needed time together. Sean and Alex built their little sandcastle. The two were able to tell stories with one another, happy to share their joyful memories. Birkhoff’s day was different, but still effective. He thought he needed time to play his games. Really, he needed to actively get rid of his stress. It was a good thing he had his friends there to help him with that.


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set between seasons 2 and 3. Inspired by mine and my cousin's adventure with at-home gel manicures today, and the chapter I plan on posting tomorrow.

“No, Nikita. Stop. I’m doing your nails,” Sonya put an end to Nikita’s actions. She glanced up in confusion. All she had done was push back her cuticles; she didn’t understand why Sonya seemed so appalled by her actions. Granted, she did use an old wooden stir stick to pick at the dead skin. Looking to Alex for assistance, Nikita reluctantly gave her hand to the computer tech. She immediately began to expertly buff and trim the agent’s nails.

“What I tell you? Flawless with hair, makeup, and dress. Terrible with nails,” Alex was of no help as she smirked and studied the polish choices. If Nikita was aware that she was going to be berated for her nail painting skills, she wouldn’t have agreed to come over. She knew enough about nails to take care of their health, and slap on some polish to match her outfit for a mission. That was all she needed to know. However, according to Sonya and Alex, it wasn’t enough. They were the nail experts after all.

Sonya had her own manicure set at home. She had gels, powders, and nail equipment Nikita honestly didn’t have a name for. Sonya had developed a passion for nails that had to be admired. She found the process to be relaxing, a great way to relieve the stress of Division. After years of practice and watching professional videos, she had become an export in the art of manicures and pedicures. Her own nails were always immaculate and perfect. With Division done for, and all that was left was clean up, Sonya decided to finally share her talent. She invited Nikita and Alex over to her apartment, excited for a day with friends. She couldn’t remember the last time she had had one of those.

Alex readily jumped at the chance of a manicure. Ever since that Division agent and Zetrov inheritance money came in, Alex had been getting her nails expertly done. The pampering she received reminded her of spa trips with her mother when she was a child. After her father would drag her into the woods and teach her survival training (in hindsight, Alex was incredibly grateful that he had done that), her mother would spoil her. Sure, the memory perpetuated Birkhoff’s “Princess” taunts, but it was a happy one. She deserved to be spoiled, just as much as she deserved to be happy. A manicure was a simple way she could achieve that.

“Can I at least pick out my own nail polish?” One glance at how her nails looked under Sonya’s expertise, Nikita gave up on ever trying to do it herself. 

Applying the base coat, Sonya nodded to the box of polish, “Of course.”

“Just don’t spill it everywhere,” Alex teased while she pulled out a few colors she was debating for herself. Most of what she grabbed were blue and purple, but there were some pinks and reds as well. Nikita stole those from her best friend in retaliation. Rolling her eyes, Alex huffed, “Seriously.”

“I only did that once. And it wasn’t everywhere. Just where I was painting,” Nikita defended herself. She examined the colors she grabbed, more interested in the inane names than the hues; some were actually pretty funny.

Sonya indicated for Nikita to give her the other hand, laughing to herself, “Nail polish goes on nails, Nikita. Not guns and blueprints.”

Whereas Alex giggled, Nikita gasped, “That little nerd ratted me out.”

Soon, however, she was laughing along with Sonya and Alex. Nikita always created a mess whenever she had to paint her nails. That was mostly because she did it last minute before running off on a mission she was supposed to dress up for. She painted her nails in simple, quick brushes without those top and base coats. And without drying it completely. She was ashamed to admit that many weapons and plans had drops of polish on them. It wasn’t anything a towel and acetone couldn’t fix, however. 

Nikita eventually settled on three colors to choose from, presenting them to her friends as Sonya prepared the equipment, “Okay, so what do you think? ‘Hot & Sexy’? ‘Sexy Divide’? Or ‘Haute in the Heat’?”

“Did you only choose those for their names?” Alex judged her.

“Yes. Why else would I pick them?”

“Well in that case,” Sonya selected the hot pink polish, and mixed it with the gel formula, “I suggest ‘Haute in the Heat’. It’s perfect for the summer.”

Seeing the color applied to her nails, Nikita agreed. She watched amazed while Sonya flawlessly painted and decorated the polish. There was no way she could’ve had the patience to do that. She liked to be active when she relaxed, which was why she loved yoga so much. She could continue moving even as her mind settled. But waiting for paint to dry, that was unbearable. 

Throughout Nikita’s manicure, the women were talking and laughing. They discussed everything and nothing, from their plans once Division was shut down for good, to their plans for dinner that night. The conversation was light and fun. They enjoyed each other’s company, and time together. It was easy to forget moments like that while they were trying to save the world. But with the hard part mostly over, they were able to settle into what their futures could look like. Nikita, Alex, and Sonya were excited by the thought. 

The nail process wasn’t as long as Nikita had originally thought, which made her happy. She thanked Sonya, and switched seats with Alex. The young woman hadn’t chosen a color yet. So as Sonya buffed and prepared Alex’s nails, Nikita picked some blues out for her, “We have ‘Aruba Blue’ if you want a beach vibe. ‘Witch’s Blue’ if you want to match your personality.”

“Ouch,” Alex deadpanned.

Nikita ignored her comment. She had found the perfect polish for Alex’s manicure. It was navy blue with specks of dark purple. Not only would it look great on her, the name was also absolutely fitting. Proudly, Nikita smirked at her find, “But forget both of those because this one is so you. ‘Russian Navy’.”

Sonya had to pause her application of the base coat as she laughed. With a heavy sigh, Alex rolled her eyes once more, “Ha ha ha. So original. Pick on the Russian girl… wait.”

Her mind took a moment to process the joke. Alex had only clued in on the Russian part of the name at first. Yet as the second part came to her, she gaped at her best friend. She, along with the tech and nail expert, were laughing at her expense. She wasn’t having fun with nail day anymore, “That’s not funny, Nikita.”

“Why? Has Sean not officially asked you out yet?” Resuming the manicure, Sonya asked.

“No.”

“What?” To say she was shocked would have been an understatement. Nikita was certain that Sean had asked Alex out already. The two had been flirting back and forth for months. It was kind of getting annoying watching them dance around each other without making a move.

Nikita’s phone lit up with a call, before she could think too much about the situation however. As she went to answer it, Alex panicked, “You’re not gonna yell at him about it.”

“I might later, but this is Michael,” The agent answered the call, dodging Alex’s hand; she had tried to swipe at her for the comment. Alex could handle her boy problems on her own. She didn’t need Nikita to solve it for her, even though what was currently going on with Sean was extremely frustrating.

Deciding to talk to her boyfriend in another room (so she could tell him to get onto Sean for her), Nikita moved through the apartment. Once out of earshot of Alex and Sonya, she spoke into the phone, “Hey, Babe. Can you tell Boy Scout he’s a coward?”

“Uh, Sure,” Michael agreed without question. He paused for a second, and Nikita could hear him move the speaker of his phone to shout, “Hey, Sean. Nikita says you’re a coward.”

“Wait. You’re with him right now?” The last thing she knew was that Michael had gone to Division to help Ryan and Birkhoff with something. Sean wasn’t going to head in that day, wanting time off to visit with his family. He either changed his mind, or the visit was short. Either way, Nikita was confused.

“Yeah. He asked for a favor, and I needed to get away from Birkhoff for a bit. He was getting way too into something tech related.”

Nodding in understanding, Nikita pressed forward, “So what’s up? Why’d you call?”

“We need your advice on something. When it comes to diamonds, less is more or is it truly a girl’s best friend?” Michael attempted to keep it vague. He didn’t want to ruin any surprises. Nikita gleaned that much from how he phrased his question. She decided not to press him too much about it. Knowing her boyfriend, he would eventually tell her what was happening. 

“Best friend, without a doubt.”

“Okay thanks. Love you, bye,” He stayed on the call long enough for her to say “love you” back. Chuckling and rolling her eyes, Nikita pocketed her phone and went back to her friends. Alex’s nails were almost done. To the agent’s delight, they were decorated with the dark blue polish.

With a shit eating grin, Nikita retook her seat and nudged Alex, “So I see you went with the Navy. Good choice.”

“Shut up,” Alex nudged her in return, earning a reprimand from Sonya for moving. They fell into laughter and their easy conversation once more. Stupid men and their antics were forgotten as the women bonded together. The day was a great one for the three of them. They were able to spend it with people they cared for, and by relaxing with the things they enjoyed- what could have been better than that.


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set between seasons 2 and 3. Inspired by a comment on Fanfiction about Sean buying the 'A' necklace for Alex, and the previous chapter.

“Hey, Babe. Can you tell Boy Scout he’s a coward?” Nikita’s voice greeted Michael as she answered his phone call. That wasn’t the response he was expecting, but he rolled with it. She had said stranger things to him before. 

“Uh, Sure,” Michael agreed without question. He shifted the phone’s speaker away from his mouth, so he could shout at the aforementioned boy scout, “Hey, Sean. Nikita says you’re a coward.”

Sean glanced over at Michael confused. He gave him a “what the hell” look, that the agent could only respond to with a shrug. No one ever really knew what Nikita was talking about sometimes. Her mind raced just a little bit faster than theirs. She’d pick up on something and comment on it before anyone else had had a chance to see it. It was an admirable quality, though it did cause Michael to feel like he was playing catch up at times. 

“Wait. You’re with him right now?” The last thing Nikita knew was that Michael had gone to Division to help Ryan and Birkhoff with something. Sean wasn’t going to head in that day, wanting time off to visit with his family. Her nail day with Sonya and Alex had kept her out of the loop on what the men were up to. It wasn’t anything too exciting, just a new way to track Dirty Thirties. Well, nothing at work was exciting. What Michael and Sean were doing at the moment was, however. But she wasn’t going to be made aware of that- not yet. 

“Yeah. He asked for a favor, and I needed to get away from Birkhoff for a bit. He was getting way too into something tech related,” Michael settled on an answer. Although he kept it vague, he did tell her the truth. He figured it would satisfy her enough to keep her from prying. The two always strived to not keep secrets from one another. They would tell each other everything, no matter what. That one thing, however, he’d like to keep to himself. Because, Sean’s favor required the men to go to a jewelry store.

After spending a much needed break with his family, the Seal had come up with a solution to one of his problems. According to Alex, he had not asked her out properly. Once he did, then she would date him. All he wanted was to be with her. If that required some intense wooing on his part, he’d do it. Anything was worth her. Sean had decided that when he was going to ask her out the way she wanted, he would make it as romantic as possible. She deserved it. However, he wasn’t the best when it came to romantic overtures and lovely declarations. Thus, the holding pattern he and Alex found themselves in. So, he turned to the best.

Michael agreed to help Sean with a little too much enthusiasm. But that was mostly due to his need to get away from Birkhoff. The nerd had discovered some new tech thing or another, and was going off on one of his little “I’m the best” rants. Michael had no patience to stick around and listen to that. Which meant when Sean called asking for a favor, he ran out of Division saying yes. He needed the break. Assisting Sean move forward in his relationship with Alex was just an added bonus. 

“So. What do you have in mind?” Once the men were on their way to the city, Michael asked Sean about his plan.

Focused on the road ahead, Sean shrugged, “I thought I’d give her a gift.” 

“Ah bribery. Good choice,” Michael teased, flashing his trademark smirk. The Seal instantly went on the defensive. That wasn’t what he was trying to do at all. Chuckling, Michael held up placating hands, “I know what you meant. A gift is a great way to express your feelings and intentions. Do you know what you’re going to get her?”

“I don’t know. She likes necklaces,” Sean relaxed. Getting her jewelry was a good idea. Although she wasn’t a materialistic person, Alex did like nice things; she also enjoyed gifts. To her, they meant that someone was thinking about you. And if there was one thing Sean was always doing, it was thinking about Alex.

Nodding, Michael agreed. He directed Sean to a jewelry store he knew had beautiful necklaces to choose from. Nikita had not so subtly dropped hints about that place around holidays and her birthday. Michael of course obliged, picking out simple jewelry for her to wear. She loved every single piece he bought her. Alex would’ve loved anything Sean could’ve picked out for her as well. No matter how the necklace looked, as long as it was from him it would’ve been wonderful.

Sean was intimidated when he first walked into the store. There were a lot of options to sort through, and he had no idea what exactly he was going to buy. He searched carefully for the perfect necklace. A helpful employee tried to assist him. Yet he ended up waving them off. He wanted to make the decision on his own, and without the pressure of someone trying to make a sale. It was a serious choice. Sean wanted the necklace to not only be beautiful, but also express all the things he felt for Alex.

He could’ve used Michael’s help, except he was nowhere to be found. The men had gotten separated when they entered the store. Whereas Sean was drawn to the necklaces, Michael was drawn to the engagement rings. The agent’s feet brought him over to the display case without much thought. He and Nikita had been talking about their futures together recently. They had fought through so much to get to where they were; it made sense that marriage was the next step. It also felt right. Thinking about the future, Michael could see him and Nikita married so clearly. He loved her with all of his heart. He couldn’t wait to spend the rest of his life with her.

Immediately, Michael’s green eyes fell on a gorgeous ring in the center of the case. The ring had a sizable diamond that glinted blue in the light. The band was also decorated with multiple glittering gems. It was breathtaking. Michael could picture it resting on Nikita’s delicate finger, and his heart stopped. That was the one. Although he hadn’t actively thought of proposing before that moment, he couldn’t stop thinking about it then. He was going to marry Nikita. 

Before he could motion for a salesperson to make the purchase, Sean called Michael over. He had narrowed down his choices to just two necklaces. Both had adjustable chains, but one had an arrow charm and the other an ‘A’. They were simple yet elegant. The necklaces could have gone along with either her everyday clothes or her high fashion items. He just couldn’t settle on the arrow or the ‘A’. The arrow to him meant aiming high and going places. Alex had a bright future ahead of her, one she could achieve anything with. On the other hand, the ‘A’ stood for who she was. She was Alexandra Udinov, the strong young woman who had survived so much. And, who was just so awesome.

“Which one to you think Alex would like more?” Sean showed his options to Michael, very concerned with making the right choice. 

Michael shrugged. Glancing back towards the engagement rings, he came up with an idea. He pulled out his cell phone, and dialed Nikita’s number, “Why don’t we ask an expert?” 

“So what’s up? Why’d you call?” His girlfriend’s voice brought Michael back to the present. He shook himself out of his musings. He needed to ask her advice on jewelry, but without giving too much away. The ring was an obvious secret. Although they both knew they wanted to spend forever together, his proposal was going to remain classified. Sean also wanted to keep his necklace to Alex on the down low. He preferred to surprise her with his gift. It was a part of his plan to ask her out. 

“We need your advice on something. When it comes to diamonds, less is more or is it truly a girl’s best friend?” Michael settled on a question.

“Best friend, without a doubt,” Not missing a beat, Nikita replied. 

“Okay thanks. Love you, bye,” Hanging up after her “I love you” response, Michael pocketed his phone and indicated the ‘A’ necklace, “That one. It has a diamond.”

Sean studied the piece of jewelry, a fond smile on his full lips, “Yeah. This one’s perfect.”

The agent left the Seal to buy his gift, returning to the engagement rings. He told the sales clerk he was ready to purchase that ring. Nikita, whether she knew it or not, was able to solidify his decision. That ring was the one; she was the one. He made his best guess at her ring size, and scheduled to come and pick it up at a later date. Sean and Michael left the jewelry store, completely satisfied with their purchases. The items were bought with pure love and affection. Nikita and Alex were going to love their surprises.


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set between seasons 1 and 2. Inspired by the fact that I love love.

The motel would do. It wasn’t the worst place they had ever stayed, but it also wasn’t the best. They’d just have to make it work for the moment. Cash only motel rooms weren’t anything more than places to rest for a night. They’d clean up, sleep, then move on to the next place. They really needed a secure safehouse to operate out of. But all of their resources had been burned, after their Division moles were discovered. Money was tight as well. Their funds consisted of what they could grab from black box baddies. Lucky for them, bad guys had a lot of money. Unlucky for them, taking down a black ops unit of the government was expensive.

Michael and Nikita settled into a routine whenever they stumbled into a cheap motel room. First, they made certain they really were safe and sound; they confirmed there were no surprises awaiting them. Then, they took stock of what they had- money, weapons, food, everything. Lastly, they cleaned themselves and their things. Some nights the rogue agents didn’t have to spend too much time cleaning. The two could collapse on the bed, and relax. Other nights, they were up for hours scrubbing away at various stains. Either themselves or their equipment were covered in grime and blood. Missions were a messy business. And that night was no exception.

To make the process faster, Michael and Nikita took turns. While one showered and such, the other wiped down the weapons and scrubbed at the clothes. That method worked well enough. By the time Nikita finished in the bathroom, practically everything was clean. All that was left was her unloaded gun, which Michael held up with a smirk. He indicated a dark red smudge on the grip, “Is this nail polish or blood?”

Nikita glanced at the chipped red polish she hadn’t managed to take off all the way. Honestly, the smudge could’ve been both blood and nail polish. She was too tired to really think about the possibilities of either. So, she simply shrugged and grabbed the pistol from her boyfriend, “Who knows anymore.”

Breathing out a laugh, Michael moved to the bed. He was exhausted as well. Their latest black box mission sure was something. He couldn’t figure if it was good or bad. Slumping onto the worn mattress, he settled on both. Nikita let out a giant yawn, as she finished wiping down her gun. Michael flashed her a sleepy smile, that she returned. She put away the weapon and the cleaning supplies, and stretched, “I keep thinking about that old guy who kept staring at us earlier.”

“When we checked in, or when we went through the drive-thru?” They had gotten a lot of weird looks on their way to the motel after the mission. They were dirty and gross as they ordered food to eat in the car, and as they checked in. Of course people were going to stare.

“When we checked in. I mean, I wanna say he looked at us like that because of the blood and stuff. But now I’m thinking it was sexual,” Nikita’s explanation caused Michael to burst out in laughter. He sure wasn’t expecting that. She crossed closer to him with a look of innocence, “What? That old man was intense. He wanted us. Not that I can blame him. We are stupid hot.”

When Nikita got close enough to him, Michael gently pulled her into his arms by the fabric of her shirt. Well, his shirt. She had only put on one of his clean shirts after her shower. He couldn’t really say anything about her lack of clothing, however. He only had on his boxer briefs. Nikita came willingly to stand between his thighs, wrapping her arms around his neck. Michael placed his strong hands on her waist, beaming, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” She breathed against his lips. They kissed tenderly and sweetly at first, pouring their feelings into the affection. It quickly became heated and passionate. The couple kissed thoroughly as they grabbed hold of each other tightly. They fell back onto the mattress in a tangle of limbs, not calming in their intensity. Eventually, Michael and Nikita laid in a naked, sated heap curled into each other under the thin, scratchy sheets. 

Her head was tucked under his chin, and she was beginning to fall asleep. His fingers traced patterns into her heated skin, which only assisted her drift off into sleep. However, when he spoke softly, she snapped back awake, “You know when I first realized I had fallen in love with you?”

Shifting to see her boyfriend better, Nikita grinned, “Was it when I kicked that instructor in the balls?”

“No,” Michael laughed, bringing his forehead down to press against her’s. Smiling green eyes stared into adoring brown. They held the gaze for a moment, drawn ever so closer to one another. He broke the moment to brush her wild, dark hair gently out of her face, “No. It was years after that. Though, I was kind of proud of you.”

Nikita smiled brightly at the comment. She knew she had gotten a reaction out of him. She always could. Thinking about that fact, she placed a chaste kiss on his lips and whispered against them, “When we had our first kiss?”

“No. But I definitely felt something then,” Michael flashed a smirk while he kissed her again. She rolled them so that he was on his back, and she was sprawled out on top of him. Her leg slipped between his comfortably. He placed a hand on her back, fingers tripping up and down her spine.

She, in return, was delicately tracing the scar on his shoulder, “It wasn’t when I shot you was it? ‘Cause if it was, we’re a lot more fucked up than I thought.”

Michael chuckled, taking her hand in his. He kissed her knuckles with a shake of his head, “Don’t worry. I knew before that.”

“So. When was it? After I left Division?”

“Yeah. When Percy put me on the hunt for you, I spent a lot of time thinking things over. I thought about everything you had ever done or said, trying to find some clue to where you had gone. I didn’t get anywhere with that. But I did realize the reason I was so captivated by you and so hurt that you were gone, was because I loved you,” He explained, staring earnestly at Nikita.

A joyous grin pulled at her full lips while she replied, “So absence made the heart grow fonder.”

“Can you let me have a serious romantic moment for a second?” Although Michael huffed, he chuckled. Nikita laughed, collapsing her head on his chest. He began to play with her hair, and gave a quick tug to a strand in retaliation. She picked her head up with a glare that had no effect on him. He kissed her forehead in an attempt to appease her, “There was one specific thing you did that stuck with me. It helped me realize just how far gone I was.”

Nikita wanted to make a joke, but decided against it. Michael was being vulnerable with her, she had to respect that. Also, she was curious as to what she had done to make him love her, “What?”

Absentmindedly, he ran his fingers through her hair and stared off into the distance, “Remember the debriefing after you were supposed to have killed Ari?”

She vaguely did. Most Division debriefings blurred together in her mind. The only reason that one sort of stuck out to her was because of Birkhoff. He kept asking her if she had brought him back anything from the basketball game. When she had finally had enough of the nerd, she said she did and burped in his face. Birkhoff laughed it off, but Amanda was pissed. She fumed about the lack of professionalism and respect. Nikita was dismissed for the night, and she left satisfied with the reaction she got out of Amanda.

Although Michael did hide his own laughter after her burp, Nikita didn’t think that was what he was talking about at the moment. At least she hoped that wasn’t it, “All I remember is burping in Nerd’s face. And if that’s it…” 

His laughter cut her off; she relaxed at the sound of it. Michael returned his attention to her, “That was pretty great. And Amanda’s face was priceless. But that’s not it. It was how you kept saying your gun jammed. I was sure I checked it before you rolled out. So after you went home, I inspected the rifle. It was perfectly fine.”

“You knew I lied?” Nikita glanced up at Michael in wonder. He knew, but he never told Percy. He had no reason to protect her, yet he did. He always protected her. 

Michael nodded, sharing the rest of the memory, “I wanted to know why you did. I had Birkhoff pull up the footage of the basketball game, and instantly I knew. Ari had his son with him. You couldn’t kill him in front of his son. And that fact, it just… It proved to me just how kind you are. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I still can’t.”

“So you love me ‘cause of my big ‘ol heart,” She couldn’t stop the tease that flew out of her mouth. That was simply how she had always flirted or expressed herself with him. She’d tease and joke, waiting for that smile he only gave her. 

However, Micheal didn’t tease back or even smile. He spoke so seriously it made her heart stop, “Of course, Nikita.”

She kissed him instantly. The couple tightly held one another, love coursing through them. Some time later, they separated. Each had an adoring smile brightening their features. Still wrapped in the other’s arms, they settled against the pillows to sleep for the night. Before the two completely drifted off, however, Nikita whispered the thought that had come to her mind soon after her boyfriend’s declaration, “I love you for your heart too, Michael.”


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set after the events of 3x11 "Black Badge". Inspired by a comment on Fanfiction about Alex drawing her butterfly tattoo on Sean.

He was just taping down the fresh gauze on his chest, when he heard the front door unlock. Alex had texted him that she’d be home soon, so he wasn’t too concerned with putting his shirt back on. He cleaned the mess, washed his hands, and left the bathroom to wait for his girlfriend. Sick of being trapped down in Division, Sean very cautiously moved into Alex’s apartment. Ryan was hesitant about the idea (the media was still running his false story), but ultimately relented. He was probably as tired about him constantly down there as the Seal was. Wait, former Seal. Former Lieutenant Commander Sean Mason Pierce of the Navy Seals, was presumed dead and the latest Division recruit. That was a lot to get used to.

He was trying, however. Sean was taking it little by little, healing his gunshot wound and helping take down Amanda. She was the one to ruin his life, after all. If he took her down, everything would be back to normal. He would talk to his sisters again, hang out with his Seal buddies, enjoy some fresh air without looking over his shoulder. And, most importantly, he would do all of that with Alex. They’d be a normal couple, with normal jobs. They’d also be safe and sound. That was all Sean really wanted- for his family to be safe.

“Hey, Sean. Dinner’s ready,” Alex greeted, heading straight for the kitchen. On her way back home from Division, she picked up some takeout. She never had any time for grocery shopping, and Sean couldn’t leave the apartment except to go to Division for the time being. So, fast food and takeout was their salvation.

Sean met Alex in the kitchen with a kiss hello. It was brief, but sweet. Alex melted into the affection, and Sean smiled. Whereas he moved to dig into the cartons of food, she stayed in her spot studying him. Watching her boyfriend move around her apartment so comfortably, and shirtless, caused butterflies to erupt in her stomach. Something about it seemed so warm. She felt as though she were home. Not just in her apartment, but home with so much love and affection. Even after all the bad she had seen and done, she could go home. Her boyfriend, her friends, her team, they were the family she could crash into whenever she needed support. Alex never thought she would ever have that again. Yet there she was. The thought made her beam.

It didn’t last long, though. As soon as she caught the sparkly pink thing on Sean’s chest, her smile dropped. Her happy expression was replaced with confusion, “Uh, Sean. What the hell is that?”

Plopping some pad thai on plates for the two of them, Sean barely glanced at the bandage Alex was indicating, “I was shot, remember.”

“No I remember that,” Alex didn’t think she could forget having to revive him in the morgue, while Nikita dealt with one of Amanda’s goons. She had almost lost him. That fact kept her tossing and turning during the night. But having him in bed right next to her always helped, “I’m talking about the pink tape.”

Sure enough, the gauze bandage over his healing gunshot wound was secured with sparkly pink tape. Sean shrugged that off as best he could, handing a plate over to Alex, “Did you know your first-aid kit has tons of bandages and gauze but no medical tape?”

“So your solution was to use my crafting tape?” Following her boyfriend to the dinner table, Alex continued to judge. There were better things he could’ve done than that. 

“Hey it works,” He took a bite of food. Sean was able to ignore her answering glare as he enjoyed his meal. He hadn’t been able to eat a good meal in days. The food in Division reminded him too much of officer training camp with the Navy; it was flavorless, odd looking, and obviously cooked in bulk. Sean was grateful for various delicious foods, especially since he didn’t have to choke any of it down.

“So does going to Medical,” She punctuated her point by taking her own bite of food. Between Sean and Nikita’s stubbornness when it came to their health, Alex didn’t think she would ever stop rolling her eyes; her friends would rather bleed out than admit they needed help. Although, if she was being honest with herself, she was often the same way. But at least she would’ve gone to get medical tape, instead of using whatever flimsy thing was at hand. Maybe that was why Medical always seemed so grumpy whenever one of them rolled up. Because no matter how much advice and care they gave, it was going to be instantly ignored.

Nevertheless, Sean and Alex dropped the subject and moved on to other topics. The couple had found a rhythm while having dinner together. They talked about their days, their family, whatever, while they ate. Then they cleaned, putting away leftovers for later. And finally they collapsed on the couch to watch a movie or something before bed. It was a relaxing routine, sorely needed after some of the shit they went through with Division. Being able to just be together at home was perfect. Neither would have had it any other way.

Alex was tucked into Sean’s uninjured side, as a mindless action movie they found on television played. She was absentmindedly tracing designs into his bare abdomen (he continued to refuse to put a shirt back on), not entirely paying attention to what they were watching. Eventually, Sean lowered the volume to ask, “Whatcha drawing there?”

“Huh,” Alex was ripped out of her thoughts to realize he had noticed her fingers tracing the same pattern against his skin. Her cheeks involuntarily flushed red. She didn’t think he would’ve caught onto her actions. Since he had, she became embarrassed, “It’s nothing.”

She shifted into a position that pulled her away from him. Sean chased after her with a shake of his head, “Oh no it’s definitely something. I can see it all over your face.”

His hazel eyes were just so curious, and his smile was just so endearing, that she caved. Alex twisted her necklace, sighing, “It was a butterfly.”

“Like the one on your back?” He grew serious then, interested in what she had to say.

“It’s stupid though…”

“No it’s not. Not if it’s coming from you,” Sean interrupted. He took her hand, which was playing with the necklace he bought her, in his. Squeezing it tight he made certain her blue eyes connected with his hazel. She saw such sincerity and love in his gaze that she relaxed. Of course Sean wouldn’t think anything she did was stupid. He was Sean Pierce; he loved her so fiercely it scared her at times. She could be open and vulnerable with him. Although they had had a rocky start, he had proven that he would take care of her heart time and time again.

Gathering her thoughts and her strength through the grip Sean had on her hand, Alex shared, “Butterflies mean transformation. And you have been through so much, only to come out stronger. Like a butterfly.”

“And like you,” Sean closed the gap between them, kissing her tenderly. Alex moved even closer to him, wrapping her arms around his neck gently. She played with the ends of his hair, relishing in the slight moan he gave her. He retaliated by deepening the kiss, and holding onto her waist. At some point they broke for air, resting their foreheads against one another’s. The pink tape holding the gauze had begun to slip off, but neither cared at the moment. Sean nudged Alex’s nose with his, continuing his thought, “You know that’s when I realized I fell in love with you. The second I knew how strong and resilient you were, I was a goner.”

Immediately she kissed him once more, “Right back at ‘ya, sailor.”

The rest of their movie was forgotten. They kissed passionately and tenderly. For the couple, actions were always better suited at conveying their emotions than words. Words could be misunderstood, and difficult to express. Trying to talk out their feelings sometimes left them frustrated. But actions, those could only mean one thing. They couldn’t misconstrue those. A kiss was always a kiss. It was love and affection and all the things Sean and Alex couldn’t quite say. The couple eventually made it to their bedroom, and laid in a tangle of sated limbs. They held each other as tightly as they could, continuing to silently express their love.


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set throughout the show- before, during, and after. Inspired by the many little snippets I have that aren't developed enough for stories. Also, I'm tired.

“So. What did you learn today?” Michael asked Birkhoff all too knowingly.

“Don’t scare Nikki in the bathroom,” The nerd mumbled, pressing the icepack against his swelling eye.

Smirking, Michael turned to Nikita. He shook his head at the mess that she had made, “And what did you learn?”

Nikita scrubbed at the black makeup on her hands and rolled her eyes, “Mascara’s not a good weapon.”

* * *

“What are you doing?” Sean walked into the living room completely bewildered.

Alex had ransacked the apartment, tearing apart the furniture and throwing things on the floor, “I can’t sleep knowing he’s still out there.”

“He’s dead. I killed him,” With a sigh, he caught onto his girlfriend’s antics. 

“Did you confirm it?” Her blue eyes were frantic. She needed that thing dead. She wouldn’t be able to do anything else if she knew it was still alive.

Although he rolled his eyes, the Seal joined the search for the missing bug, “It’s just a cockroach, Alex. They’re a dime a dozen in New York.”

“Not six inch long flying roaches that could crush you in your sleep,” Instantly, she defended. Alex was being dramatic; she knew it, and Sean knew it. Nevertheless, when they found the still-alive insect she jumped back with a shriek. Sean made fun of her the entire time it took him to kill the roach and throw it away.

* * *

“Hey, Babe. I’ve been thinking. If we ever have kids. And I mean ‘if’. I’ve got some pretty good names for them,” Nikita glanced up from the book she was reading. 

Michael looked over at her, ignoring the show he was watching. Her statement had him confused, but also intrigued, “Okay. What are they?

Holding down her laughter, she replied quickly, “Percy for a boy. Amanda for a girl.”

Whereas he sighed deeply, she burst out laughing. It was a long moment before Michael got off the couch and began to walk away. Nikita called after him, continuing to giggle uncontrollably, “Where are you going?”

“I’m filing for divorce.”

She knew he was kidding. Despite his serious demeanor, she noticed the slightest of smiles. Nikita still apologized for the awful joke, however, “Wait, I’m sorry. Come back.”

“I mean. How could you not even consider Gary for a name?” Michael turned back to his wife, a smug grin gracing his features. 

“You bastard,” As fast as lightning, Nikita leapt off the couch. Being the smart man that he was, Michael took off running; she followed after him. The couple laughed throughout their chase, teasing and taunting like the children they were.

* * *

“Okay. Com check. Nikita, can you hear me?” Michael spoke into the earpiece, waiting for his agent’s response. They hadn’t heard from her in awhile. He knew it was part of the mission, but it worried him regardless. He just wanted her to be safe.

There was a hiccup of static before Nikita’s oh so familiar voice came floating through, “Good morning, Charlie.”

Birkhoff bit back a laugh at the reference. Amanda, on the other hand, stared at Michael with her scrutinizing gaze. She didn’t seem to appreciate Nikita’s joke. The handler fought the blush that crept up his cheeks, pushing forward with the op, “The target will arrive in approximately ten minuets. Get into position, and we’ll guide you from there.”

“Aye, aye, Sailor,” He could hear the smirk on Nikita’s full lips. Once again, Birkhoff choked back his laughter and Amanda stared at Michael. But, surprisingly, he found himself not caring. Sure Percy and Amanda were going to lecture him to death over her comments. And the nerd would tease him mercilessly. Yet Nikita sounded so joyful and carefree. As long as that was the case, Michael would take any kind of punishment.

* * *

“What kind of book are you reading?” Climbing under the covers next to Alex, Sean wondered. The expression on her face was one of complete arousal; he knew that look well. However, he never expected his girlfriend to read those types of books.

After a pause, Alex held up the book and muttered simply, “Historical fiction.”

“Oh. Okay,” Apparently she was the type of person to read those books.

The tone of Sean’s voice caused Alex to finally tear her eyes away from the page. She glanced at him confused, until the meaning behind his words hit her, “What no. Not that kind of historical fiction. This has actual plot lines and stuff.”

“It just features a really hot sex scene,” Sean’s hazel eyes racked knowingly over her, a smirk growing on his lips.

Showing the book to him, Alex glared. She had never been any good at hiding her expressions from him. Sean read the scene for himself, the same look of arousal on his face. He had to clear his throat before he suggested in his best sexy voice, “You know. We can turn fiction into reality.”

Alex tossed the book away, “Are you sure you’re up to the challenge?”

“Oh absolutely,” He pulled her into his lap and they kissed passionately. 

* * *

Birkhoff stared at the message Sonya sent him; he couldn’t make any sense of it. Normally, he prided himself as being the smartest person in the room. But that had him stumped, “What does this mean?”

Nikita came over and read the message on the screen. She chuckled to herself, nudging Birkhoff playfully, “She wants to go out with you, Nerd.”

“Why?”

Confused, Michael and Nikita shared a look. The nerd, however, seemed genuine in questioning why anyone would want to go out with him. Shrugging and shaking her head, Nikita pushed for her boyfriend to talk to Nerd, “You handle this one. I’m out.”

* * *

“I should cut out your tongue,” The bad guy’s response to Nikita’s remark was valid. She was being a bit more sarcastic during her torture that day. But in her defense, her captors were just so pedestrian. She had been in worse situations, and she was feeling a tad bored. So when the bad guy reached to actually cut out her tongue, she willingly stuck it out; the thing has only ever gotten her in trouble anyway. Her action threw her captor off his rhythm, allowing her to slam her head into his. Nikita broke free of her bonds, and saved herself from further tormenting boredom. 

* * *

“I’m just gonna scream into the void until it swallows me whole,” Ryan slurred, setting down the alcohol bottle on his desk.

Nikita pulled the nearly empty bottle away from him, concerned. She shouldn’t have suggested a drink after the day they had at Division, “Okay. I think you had enough.”

“That’s not what your mom said last night,” He continued as he tried to grab the alcohol.

Moving out of his way, the comment slipped off her tongue without a thought. Maybe she had too much to drink as well, “Wow, Ry. I didn’t know you were a necrophiliac.”

It took him a second, but soon Ryan collapsed in laughter.

* * *

Nikita had managed to jump one of the red balls outside of Target successfully. She did a running start, and vaulted herself over the thing with apparent ease. So, Alex figured she could do it too. She gave Sonya her shopping bags, running straight at the red ball. However, she didn’t quite make it. Her back foot tapped the edge of it as she was soaring over, which caused her landing to be shaky at best. Alex wobbled for stability, eventually crashing into the sidewalk. Nikita had to help her up. Holding onto her sore arm and pacing around, she muttered, “Ow. I fucked up. I fucked up.”

* * *

“Hey man, how’s the jetlag,” Birkhoff teased while Michael came out of the bedroom.

The tired agent rubbed his bleary eyes, stifling a yawn, “It’s going. Why?”

Not able to hold back his laughter anymore, the nerd nodded towards Michael’s hands, “Check your nails, dude.”

Sure enough, his nails were covered in bright pink polish. Birkhoff’s laughter grew louder at the expression on his friend’s face. He was so done. Attempting to chip off the polish, Michael shouted, “Nikita!”

Her bright laughter could be heard throughout the house.

* * *

“Why am I so hungry?” Alex’s stomach had let out the loudest growl she had ever heard. She glanced down at her abdomen, trying to figure out what was going on, “I ate six hours ago.”

Sean looked over at Alex like she had said something ridiculous, because she had, “You ate six hours ago. Of course you’re hungry.”

“Oh.”

“Come on, we’re going to dinner,” He dropped his work, and grabbed her hand. Alex willingly followed Sean out of Division. She might have seriously lacked in the taking care of yourself department, yet he was always going to be there for her.

* * *

“Any last words?” The man cocked the pistol, pointing the barrel down in Nikita’s face.

Despite the situation she was in, she smirked, “Here we go.”

The man didn’t have time to think over her words. Seconds after she said them, he was shot dead. He and the gun fell at Nikita’s feet, revealing Alex standing behind him. She rushed over to her friend, and helped her to her feet, “Who asks for last words anymore?”

Shrugging, Nikita motioned for Alex to follow her out the exit she had found, “Kinda glad he did.”

* * *

“You’re not gonna do anything about it,” A Division goon taunted Michael as they faced each other with guns drawn.

Assessing the situation, Michael lowered his weapon, “You’re right. I’m not. But she is.”

Nikita dropped from above, knocking the Division agent unconscious. She and Michael made sure the other was alright, before they rushed off to kick more ass.

* * *

“Embezzlement,” Alex chimed in, certain that was the crime they were all talking about. Whereas everyone looked at her like she had gone insane, Sean shook his head no.

“Insider trading,” She tried again, less confident. Sean nodded; Michael and Nikita shared an amused glance. It was easy to forget how young Alex was, especially after everything she had been through in her short life. But moments like that, they remembered how inexperienced she was.

* * *

“Oh how the mighty falls. Not to human threats. But to a seagull divebombing her on the beach, causing her to fall in a hole,” While Michael popped Nikita’s arm back into socket, Birkhoff teased.

Nikita gave him the look of death, “I’ll fuck you up, Nerd.”


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set after the events of 4x03 "Set-Up". Inspired by the fact that Birkhoff really went through it that episode.

Birkhoff didn’t know what to think, or how to feel. Everything seemed to happen so fast. Then again, everything lately was going so fast. They’d get a lead, run it down, fight some bad guys, and as soon as they were able to rest they got another lead. It was all in the name of stopping Amanda and The Shop. Of course they would have wanted things to move quickly. The sooner they saved the world, the sooner they got to live their happily ever after. But moments like that one, Birkhoff wanted things to slow down. He wanted to process and think. Instead, they were jetting off to another destination. 

He tried his best to hide away in his area of the plane. Ryan was going over his wall of crazy, again. And Michael was cleaning his gun. The nerd should’ve had the peace and quiet he wanted. Except for Nikita. She found him in his affectionately named “hacker’s cave”, and invited herself in without so much as a word. Although he attempted to ignore her, Nikita had an annoying talent for making him talk. Maybe he was just so frustrated with her needling, that he simply burst open. She didn’t appear to mind regardless. 

Nerd and Agent sat side by side on bunched blankets and pillows, speaking softly. For a lot longer than he would’ve normally liked, they talked. If it were up to Birkhoff, he wouldn’t have kept talking. But Nikita was always stubborn and forceful. She made him talk about his family, and growing up. She also made him talk about his father. He started out vague, not wanting to get too into it. However, he eventually shared some thoughts and feelings he had about the whole situation. Watching the fake version of his father killed, made him uncomfortable. Birkhoff couldn’t quite put his finger on how exactly he felt. He and his father had never had the best relationship. That didn’t mean he wanted him dead, though.

Nikita reassured Birkhoff that just because his fake father was dead didn’t mean his real one was. Yet he wouldn’t believe it. Amanda wouldn’t have let that happen. His mother was dead, his siblings didn’t know he was still alive, and at that moment his father might have been dead as well. And he didn’t know how to react to that. He felt like he should’ve been upset. A part of him was. However, a larger part wasn’t bothered by the fact. He had another family to care for. Although he still thought of his biological family from time to time, his found family was something else. They had grown to mean more to him. They had also helped him and saved him more than anyone else.

To his surprise, Birkhoff expressed those mixed feelings to Nikita. Not quite as in depth as he thought them, but he still spoke it out loud. She nodded in understanding, expressing the same. After a moment longer, the two friends fell into silence. It wasn’t awkward, they were simply talked out. Nikita rested her head on Birkhoff’s shoulder, and he shifted so that they could both sit comfortably. Texting on the burner phone that had been vibrating in her pocket, her sudden statement startled him, “Alex says ‘hi’, and Sonya will call you when she can.”

“Oh. Okay,” He managed a response. Another moment of silence passed before Birkhoff shared something he had been mulling over, “I think my parents would’ve liked her. She’s smart, she’s kind, and she can hack.”

With a small laugh, Nikita agreed, “Yeah. Sonya’s pretty great. You’re lucky you found her.”

“I know,” And he did. Sonya was all of the things they had said, and more. He was glad she had come into his life, and they had worked on a relationship together. She made him happy. Birkhoff couldn’t wait to save the world and settle down with her. It became the dream he never thought he would’ve had.

“You guys are still awake?” Entering the area, Michael interrupted Nikita and Birkhoff. He sat down across from the pair, while he offered the nerd a sympathetic smile. He could understand how they were still talking. 

Nikita removed her head from Birkhoff’s shoulder, but she didn’t move far, “Just waxing poetic about the fucked up things we experience.”

“It’s not weird that I don’t know how to feel about my fake dad dying,” Off of Michael’s confusion, Birkhoff clarified. She had helped him realize it was alright to have conflicting emotions. Not everything was cut and dry, especially with everything that they did. Uncertain feelings and gray areas were their specialty. There wasn’t really any way to get used to it. However, they could talk. Even though Birkhoff never wanted to, it did help. Nikita was right about that.

Nodding, Michael continued, “Honestly, I don’t know how I feel about it. The thought of Doubles is a little too much science fiction for me.”

“Division did it too. Kinda,” Nikita added, “And you have a new hand.”

“Good ‘ole spy-fy. Nothing is scarier than when mad science and black ops meet,” Laughing sardonically, Birkhoff quipped. They had all talked at length before about the things The Shop had been doing. With unlimited funds and no regulations, the group’s human testing and scientific advancement was unsettling. The nerd had always been fantastic with computer sciences. He could hack and engineer anything if he worked on it hard enough. But compared to The Shop, he was nothing. The power they had terrified him.

The topic of their powerful enemy, who had teamed up with their sadistic enemy, weighed down on the three. It was only interrupted by the twinge in Birkhoff’s hand. Sometimes the altitudes in the plane applied pressure to the hand Amanda had broken two years prior. Although it was fully healed, the pain flared up from time to time. Nikita noticed him massaging the appendage, commenting, “Scar tissues a bitch huh.”

“Tell me about it,” Michael agreed. He and Birkhoff shared a look. The two men had found a lot of time to hang out during the months they were trying to clear Nikita’s name. They never talked about her, Michael wouldn’t, but they did kinda talk about the damage done to their hands. The wounds were healed, yet the feeling of uselessness when the injury occurred remained. With one simple blow, they felt as though they had become damaged goods to the people that needed them the most. They had managed to push past that. However, just like the flare ups of pain, that feeling would take a while to go away forever.

“You think instead of frequent flyer miles, we could get frequent ER trip benefits. Like, on your tenth visit in a month you get a free morphine drip,” In an attempt to lighten the mood, Nikita joked. Birkhoff laughed along with her. 

Michael flashed a smirk, “We need a therapist more than a doctor. If we can ever find one we can share all of this with.”

“Maybe Shadownet should focus on that instead,” Nikita nudged the nerd. He contemplated the thought for a second. It wasn’t a bad idea. They did need all the help they could get.

Nikita’s burner phone rang, causing her to smile in relief, “Sonya and Alex have the new safehouse set up.”

As she answered Alex’s call and left the hacker’s cave, Birkhoff’s own burner rang. It was Sonya. The smile that illuminated his features was instant. Michael chuckled at the sight of it, standing to leave as well. But before he did, he said, “Don’t be afraid to share everything with her, alright.”

Birkhoff nodded in agreement. Michael left, and he greeted his girlfriend over the phone. He ended up sharing more with Sonya than he had with Nikita. Talking to her was always easier than talking to anyone else. But he still hadn’t come to a conclusion on how to feel about his father and his biological family. Sonya reiterated that that was okay. She also stated that he knew how he felt about her and his found family, and that was just as important. Birkhoff knew she was right. He loved his team, despite their annoyance. They cared for him, and he for them. It may have been dysfunctional at times, but they were there for one another- always.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading all of these. I appreciate it.


	41. Chapter 41

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An AUish for season 3. Inspired by a comment on Fanfiction about Sean having been sexually assaulted as well.
> 
> WARNING: this chapter deals a lot with sexual assault. Nothing explicit, but they do talk about it. Please skip this chapter if that makes you uncomfortable. I tried my best to be as respectful of the topic as possible.

“Don’t fucking touch me! Get off of me,” Sean couldn’t quite understand Alex’s words. He knew she was screaming, that was what had woken him. But he couldn’t make out her words. They were slurred with sleep, and with her cheek squished against the pillow. Gently, he moved to wake her. The screaming was heartbreaking. It sounded so harsh and painful, no one should’ve screamed like that. 

Waking her, however, wasn’t the smartest of moves. Sean barely tapped at her shoulder, when Alex flopped onto her back roughly. Still asleep, she shoved and kicked at him; her badassery as an agent even extended to whenever she was sleeping. Quickly, he managed to pull away. He sat upright, out of her reach, deciding to speak softly, “Alex, wake up. Wake up, sweety. You’re okay.”

Alex snapped awake, blue eyes blown wide with fear. She was frantic as she searched around the bedroom. The nightmare continued to grip her tightly. It took her a moment to realize where she was. Yet when she did, she instantly began to calm. Taking in slow, steadying breaths, Alex tightly gripped Sean’s hand in hers. He squeezed back. Sometimes it was best to let her ground herself after a nightmare. He would be there for her, of course. She simply preferred to sort through her panic herself. So, he offered his hand in support and patiently waited for her whenever she needed him.

“I want to say good morning, but…” Alex eventually muttered. She glanced at Sean with the barest glimpse of a grin. He smiled brightly back at her, shifting to sit closer to her.

“We can say ‘bad morning’ just this once,” Sean suggested. She softly chuckled at his joke, and he relaxed. After a second of companionable silence, he made another suggestion, “We could talk about it.

She was quick to shake her head no. Alex removed her hand from his, running it through her tossed brown hair, “It’s just brothel stuff. We don’t need to get into it.”

Sean knew about the brothel she was forced into as a teenager. He knew the torment and torture she went through, before she escaped and survived on her own on the streets. It was a harrowing experience to say the least. But she made it through. She was so strong during that time it was inspiring. Even when things seemed to be at their bleakest, she survived. Sean was always greatly impressed with Alex for what she had done while alone. But she wasn’t alone anymore. She had to know that. Nikita had helped her get clean and become the woman she was always meant to be. And he was there as well, to comfort her and love her like no one else had before. 

He reminded her of that fact, reaching for her again, “Yes we do. Not to be cliché, but talking helps.”

Alex regarded him for a moment. She had never talked about the particulars of her experiences with him before. She kept it vague. Sean could understand why, but she didn’t need to anymore. He wasn’t going anywhere. That alone wasn’t reassuring enough for her, however. She looked at him with apprehension, while she picked at the comforter with nervous fingers, “I don’t… It’s a lot, Sean.”

“I don’t mind,” Sean stopped her fidgeting digits, tenderly holding her hand again.

“I do. You’re going to look at me differently once you know it all,” Although she avoided his gaze, she continued to hold his hand. 

Tucking her wild hair behind her ear, Sean lifted Alex’s chin so that she would look at him, “No one who loves you looks at you any differently. What happened to you isn’t who you are. Who you are is someone who overcame that and survived.”

His words calmed her, but she wasn’t ready to share just yet. Sean sighed. He knew she trusted him with her life and her heart, but her experiences in the brothel were something else. He decided he needed to share something of his own to get Alex to open up. No one knew about his story except for his mom and a very nice therapist he saw as a teenager. Both of those women had helped him process his trauma and heal. Alex had always had Nikita to help her. However at the moment, she needed to know he would be there to help her heal as well. He always would.

Sean started out quiet. He hardly ever spoke what happened out loud. He wasn’t ashamed of it, it just wasn’t something he went around expressing. It had happened, and he had healed. He didn’t need to share it with others. Except, maybe he did with Alex. He talked about her letting him in, and he had to do the same with her. He was twelve years old at a boy scout camp. The troop was made up with other boys from his school and neighborhood, so he knew most of the kids and adults. The man who ran the camp was new to him, however. 

He seemed really interested in what the boys in Sean’s age group were up to. He was often around during their activities, especially swimming. Sean didn’t think much of it at the time. He was more concerned with twelve year old things, until the camp runner started talking to him. He would single him out amongst his friends and ask him questions. It made Sean feel uncomfortable, but not enough to say anything to another adult. In hindsight, he should’ve. 

On the last day of camp, the camp runner was waiting for Sean after the last swim. He cornered him in the bathroom- and, well. Sean yelled and ran off before anything got farther than a touch. He was silent the rest of the day, only talking when his mom came to pick him up. Madeline Pierce went full mama bear that day, getting that man fired and arrested (apparently Sean wasn’t the only boy who had been touched inappropriately). Sean expressed all of that to Alex, who listened respectfully. She didn’t interrupt when he stuttered or paused. She let him get it all out.

Once Sean had finished, Alex moved closer to him and gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek, “I’m sorry, Sean.”

Shrugging, he took her into his arms, “I saw a therapist afterwards. It helped a lot. My mom was always there for me too. Just like how you have me, Nikita, and everybody else.”

Alex nodded against his chest. While still in his embrace, she opened up about the brothel. She told Sean about the fear she had felt and the situations she had faced. He listened with the same respect she gave him, even holding her tighter when she needed it. Hearing her story didn’t change Sean’s mind. Alex continued to be one of the strongest people he knew. Anyone able to heal after such trauma was. 


	42. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set during 2x19 "Wrath". Inspired by the fact that this episode makes me feral, and wondering what that amount of electricity does to the body.

“Well that’s not normal,” Was Nikita’s first thought while she stumbled out of the house. Her skin had flushed, her vision had blurred, and her breathing had become erratic. She slowly collapsed into Alex’s side as her limbs gave up on her. They felt numb and tingly, and they jolted with small spasms. Alex stopped abruptly, attempting to support the quickly passing out Nikita. The adrenaline and ferocity that spurred her on had vanished. All that was left was a woman in shock- in more ways than one.

Hurriedly tossing her weapon to Sean, Alex caught Nikita as she fell. Although her olive skin paled and her brown eyes slipped shut, her limbs continued to tremble. The young woman did her best to support her best friend, but the deadweight surprised her. She hadn’t expected Nikita to lose consciousness like that. Not that Alex blamed her. She had been tortured for hours. It was amazing that she had lasted as long as she did. Michael was quick to help the women out. He scooped Nikita up in his arms, holding her tightly against him. His beaten body ached and protested at the movement, but he didn’t care. Nikita was the only thing that mattered. 

The four of them traveled back to the safehouse in silence. Nikita was still unconscious, so she couldn’t help it. But the others didn’t know what they could say. Sean had shot and killed Brandt, the man who murdered his mother, yet he felt nothing. He had said that before to Alex, that revenge would leave you feeling numb. And there he was, experiencing it first hand. He didn’t know how to process it. Alex, on the other hand, didn’t know how to comfort him and Michael. She knew she probably should, and she knew how she could do so. Yet she wasn’t sure when was the best time to reassure them. They both seemed so lost in thought, any attempt to break through to them would be useless.

And Michael kept staring at Nikita, processing what had happened. Curled in his arms, she looked so pale and small. It was nothing like the ferocious woman he witnessed chained to the metal bedframe. That woman could tear men apart with her teeth, and she had almost done so with Brandt. After he hurt Michael, she went feral. If she wasn’t weak from torture, she would’ve been able to kill him with her bare hands. Michael hadn’t seen Nikita like that since she had first come to Division. She was operating purely off of survival and protection. It was truly something to behold.

If Michael was being honest with himself, Nikita did scare the crap out of him sometimes. That didn’t mean he loved her any less, however. He had told her the absolute truth while tied to the chair; he loved every part of her- the good, the bad, and the whatever the hell that was in the basement. Nothing she could’ve done would’ve changed that. The words she spat out at him in anger weren’t meant to hurt him. They were meant to hurt herself. Despite all the wonderful, amazing, breathtaking things about her, she did have one flaw. Nikita didn’t love herself. But that was alright, because Michael was going to teach her. He was going to make sure she saw herself how he saw her. 

However, that moment wasn’t the right time. Nikita had woken when they arrived at the beach house. The bumps in the road and the night breeze coming through the open window had stirred her. She was insistent on getting out of the car and entering the house on her own. Nonetheless, Alex and Michael hovered around her in case she fell again. Her electrified limbs continued to convulse, and she was still so uncharacteristically pale. They really needed to do something about that. Going to the hospital was out of the question, not with Division hunting them down. They had to give her some kind of medical treatment at the house, if she would accept it. 

Birkhoff leapt to his feet at the sight of all of them. He was relieved to see Michael and Nikita alive and well, though they were a little worse for wear. He moved to say something, but thought better of it. Instead, the nerd got some ibuprofen and icepacks for the battered agents. Sean made sure they were going to be alright, before removing himself. He needed a moment alone. No one was going to argue with him about that, and they made no move to stop him. He had to grieve and process in his own way. Alex did stare after Sean, however. It was only for a brief second, then her attention was on Nikita.

She didn't have the visible bruises that Michael had, but she was definitely worse off. Not that she was ever going to admit that. Whereas they were concerned with her health, she was focused on Michael. She made sure he had Advil and an icepack, before she took the medicine herself. Birkhoff had read up on symptoms of electrocution as the others were driving back, which made him the medical expert. He made certain she had actually taken the ibuprofen, and handed her a blanket. She was to get some rest, and Michael was to watch her to ensure no swelling or anything else occurred. 

Nikita was hesitant about the idea. Birkhoff was right about getting rest and making sure she had no lasting effects from the electrocution. But she didn’t want to sleep. Being unconscious in the back of the car was one thing, yet sleep meant nightmares. She didn’t want to face the demons that had resurfaced with Brandt. She had caught a glimpse in the basement, and it terrified her. While awake she could fight back all those terrible thoughts and emotions. However, sleep would force her to let her guard down. The demons could attack her then.

She did a decent job of distracting herself for a while. Alex and Birkhoff hovered over her for a bit more, until she admitted it was time for bed. She showered and changed her clothes the best that she could with a growing headache and an aching body. Michael was by her side the whole time, silent. He appeared as though he wanted to say something, but he never spoke up. He was probably waiting for when she wasn’t exhausted and could look him in the eyes. Ever since her words in that house, she couldn’t quite look at him. She felt ashamed of what she had said. She didn’t want to hurt him. She just wasn’t herself.

Someone else had taken over her while she was strapped to the bedframe. Through all the torture and taunting, she snapped. That evil side of her, the one she thought she had buried forever, had reared its ugly head. It took over her body and soul, and caused her to say and do monstrous things. After her first encounter with Brandt and Percy had praised her for the darkness within her, she tried to keep it locked away. Except that only made it come out with a vengeance that completely terrified her. If she could say those things to the person she loved most in the world, then what kind of person was she.

Settling under the covers, Nikita decided to ignore it. She’d think of simple things, like yoga and dogs; those usually made her happy. However, the horrible thoughts kept tormenting her mind. She was a monster. She was evil. She was darkness. Nothing was ever going to change that. Nikita curled tightly into a ball, in a feeble attempt to shut it all out. Her sore muscles and headache wouldn’t allow her, though. She may have been removed from the basement, freed herself from the chains, but she was still being tortured.

What seemed like an eternity later, Nikita felt something warm and soft being laid over her. She cracked open her brown eyes to see Michael tenderly placing her giant, fluffy blanket on top of her. Whenever they settled into a new safehouse, she would buy a huge blanket. Mostly because the heat hadn’t kicked in yet, and the nights were freezing. But also because she found comfort in the weight of it. She could relax and drift off with something holding her securely. Nikita thought she had left her latest blanket in Alex’s room after their movie night, but Michael must’ve gotten it for her. 

As she glanced up at him, he gave her an earnest smile and gentle kiss on the forehead. Involuntarily, her body canted into his touch and tears welled in her eyes. She didn’t deserve his kindness. Yet he always gave it to her anyway. Michael crawled in bed with her, holding her as she cried about demons and monsters. Nikita didn’t dare move away from him, for fear that he might slip away forever. She soon drifted off, exhaustion dragging her down. He never let go, even when he fell asleep as well. They would talk about everything in the morning. Once they did, they would heal- together.


	43. Chapter 43

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set post series. Inspired by my thoughts on season 1 characters that just kinda disappeared.

“Alright. I’ll answer it.  _ Goosebumps _ ,” Nikita tossed the playing card back on the coffee table. After dinner, they had decided to relax in the living room and play some kind of game. Sonya had brought over a card game, where they anonymously wrote down their answers to a question and then they all had to guess who wrote what. It seemed like a fun idea, however, the “Trouble” incident from a couple years prior was still very fresh on their minds. So, they opted to just read the cards and talk about them out loud. Their little family was actually having a lot of fun with their modified version, until the latest card. Asking traumatized assassins what their greatest fear is was kind of a mood killer. Luckily, Nikita took one for the team.

Birkhoff and Alex immediately burst into laughter. Michael smirked, shaking his head. And Sam glanced at her in confusion. Sonya softly chuckled along with the others, not quite understanding what Nikita was talking about. She did have an idea though, “ _ Goosebumps _ ? Like the old television show?”

“And books. Things scared the shit out of me as a kid,” Nikita clarified. Whereas Birkhoff teased her for being scared of children’s stories, Alex and Sonya agreed that those stories were the stuff of nightmares. Sam only had a vague clue as to what they were talking about, but enjoyed the chaos that erupted over it. 

With placating hands, Michael broke the debate over whether or not R. L. Stein actually made you afraid of the dark, “I was a bit older when the TV show came out, but the commercials did creep me out a bit.”

“See, absolutely terrifying. I still can’t wear a rubber mask because of that one episode,” Glad for the support from her husband, Nikita rubbed her point into Birkhoff’s face.

The nerd huffed and rolled his eyes, causing Sonya to pat his back reassuringly. Alex on the other hand, was taken aback by the comment. She turned her attention to her best friend, and recalled something from almost a lifetime ago, “You wore the pig mask no problem.”

“I was crying a little bit. I’m not going to lie to you,” Despite the fact that the room fell into silence, Nikita answered. No one else had any clue what the women were discussing. As far as the others knew, Nikita had never worn a rubber mask let alone a pig mask. A brief second passed before the two realized everyone was staring at them. They looked at them with the same amount of confusion, “What?”

“When the hell did you wear a pig mask?” Birkhoff was more accusatory than puzzled, as he asked the women what exactly they had been up to.

Alex shrugged like it was obvious, “When we robbed the drugstore that got me into Division.”

“I thought that was the… oh you’ve got to be kidding me,” Years too late, Michael caught on to Nikita’s plan. Smiling proudly, he turned to his wife beside him on the couch, “You were the boyfriend.”

Nikita placed a quick kiss on his lips, and smirked, “Way to keep up, Babe.”

Not entirely satisfied with the answer or the revelation, Birkhoff continued his interrogation, “So then whose body did we find in the alley?”

“Oh that actually was Ronnie.”

“You killed someone as a cover up,” Sam sat upright in his chair, intrigued. He had felt awkward being at family dinner all night, but the trip down memory lane was exciting to him. He had helped them save the world in some ways here and there. And he was a bodyguard for Alex. But he wasn’t positive he was a part of their family. He was trying to figure out who exactly he was, however he knew he wasn’t Owen anymore. Owen was their family member. Sam was just a mystery.

Instantly, Alex defended herself, “No. Ronnie OD’d on his own.”

Shifting her gaze, Nikita remained silent on the subject. Although Alex looked incredulously at her best friend, Sonya was the one brave enough to ask, “Nikita, you didn’t…”

“Does it count if I gave him the drugs he OD’d on? I mean he did try to assault you, Alex,” After a moment of thought, the room agreed with what Nikita had done. Ronnie wasn’t the best guy in the world, especially when they considered how he treated Alex. Besides, one less abuser in the world sounded great to all of them.

Soon they went back to their game, changing points of conversation easily. With the world saved, the former spy team found themselves settling into their normal lives comfortably. It had taken them some months, but they were at peace. Well, more or less at peace. While Nikita, Michael, Birkhoff, Sonya, and Sam continued the game, Alex silently sat curled in her chair. She was lost in thought, contemplating something. She wasn’t lost long; Birkhoff pulled her out of it with a quip, “Hey Princess, you’re too good to play with us now.”

Nikita retaliated for her by throwing a pillow. Sonya stopped her boyfriend from escalating the playful fight. Ignoring all of that, Alex decided to share her thoughts, “There’s still a lot of families out there who don’t know the truth.”

“Don’t know the truth about what?” Michael wondered, interested in what she was getting at.

“About how their family members died being forced to serve their country,” The room fell into silence at her words. They knew what she was talking about. After they had aired all of Division’s dirty laundry, former agents were able to reconnect with their loved ones if they wanted to. Agents’ names weren’t released to the public (just to the committee so they could get their pardons), so there were people out there without any answers as to what had happened to those they cared about. Nikita, Michael, Alex, Birkhoff, and Sonya were able to go to Ryan’s mom and Sean’s sisters to tell them the truth in person; the men were heroes, who saved the world more times than anyone could count. They told stories of them, and laughed and cried as they mourned. Other families deserved that as well. Division had taken away so much, it shouldn’t have been able to take that away too. 

Birkhoff pulled out his tablet from his backpack and, along with Sonya, started to dig through Shadownet, “Finding the family of every dead Division agent’s gonna be tough.”

“But you can do it,” Michael replied definitively.

“It’ll take a while. But yes we can,” Sonya agreed, reaching over Birkhoff’s hand to type in something. He let her, much to the surprise to everyone in the room.

No one dared to comment on how soft Nerd had become around his girlfriend. Instead, Nikita shared another bit of information they didn’t know about, “Uh, when you do that, don’t contact Sara’s family. ‘Cause she’s kinda not dead.”

“Sara?” Sam needed some kind of context for the next secret she was going to share.

“Sara the human bomb Division sent to an eco group,” Alex was the one to explain that. She was still bitter over the suicide mission her friend had been sent.

Beaming, Michael glanced at Nikita as though he finally had an answer to one of his most burning question, “I knew I saw her moving in the back of your car. Where has she been hiding out this whole time?”

“Last I heard, she’s working in child services,” Nikita elbowed her husband as she settled into his side. He gently nudged her back.

“Any other blasts from the past you wanna surprise us with?” Birkhoff quipped.

She stuck her tongue out at him before replying, “Yeah, actually. Jill the reporter is getting an award for the piece she wrote on us. We’re all invited to the ceremony. But I don’t think you should go.”

While Alex and Sam snickered at Nikita’s comment, Sonya gasped, “You mean we can dress up without concealing a weapon for once.”

Everyone was laughing then. She had a point, every fancy event they had ever been to involved some sort of mission or kill. It would’ve been nice to wear an outfit and not think about any kinds of weapons they could’ve hidden inside pockets or lining. When the room had settled again, Alex turned the topic serious. There had been something on her mind for a long time, “When you locate families, can you also look for Nathan. And before anyone asks, yes Nathan my ex boyfriend and ex neighbor. I wanna make sure he’s alright.”

“Checking up on old flames, huh,” Sam suggested with a wink. In his defense, he didn’t know the story behind Nathan and Alex. Actually, no one else in the room was certain about what had happened between those two.

Nikita voiced the group's thoughts, studying Alex, “What did happen to Nathan. It’s like he dropped off the planet or something.”

“That’s cause I told him to, after he shot Jaden,” Although the young woman shrugged it off, her family was shocked. She had to spend the next several minutes explaining the story and calming them down. It was a wild ride from start to finish, which was why she had never been able to tell them about it. Also, Division was still out there and could’ve hurt Nathan; she couldn’t have let that happen. But they were safe. The world was safe.

For the rest of the night, the family reminisced on old stories and things they hadn’t yet shared with the group. It was as good a time as any to do so. They had made it; enemies destroyed, and heroes saved. They were safe, sound, and together. They could share their secrets with one another without any repercussions (well, maybe some repercussions).


	44. Chapter 44

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set after the events of 2x23 "Homecoming". Inspired by what I've been busy with this week, and requests on Fanfiction for the couples to go down memory lane together.

It was supposed to be some sort of triple date. They took down Division only a week prior, and they hadn’t celebrated yet. Ryan was busy with the political aspect of things, so the rest of them had to party without him. Michael and Nikita decided they could kick things off with a dinner out at a restaurant. They were free for the first time in forever. They could do what normal people did- sort of, they still had precautions to take. Birkhoff and Sonya had shared a steamy kiss right there in ops, and had gone on a first date; things seemed to be starting off well for the couple. A double date with them sounded like a great idea. And in retrospect, it was.

The problem came in the form of Sean and Alex. Nikita had sworn they had begun to date. Sean had kind of asked Alex out after all. Instead, they continued to dance around each other. It was even more awkward with declarations of strong feelings out in the air, and the knowledge that they both wanted one another. They just wouldn’t take the next leap forward. That made the dinner uncomfortable, with obvious couple Michael and Nikita and new couple Birkhoff and Sonya trying to have a date that simply wasn’t happening. 

Conversations were light and strained at first. The group made some small talk as they ordered their drinks and contemplated the menu. The restaurant they had chosen was a small locally owned family place. It was within their budget, and private enough to not put them on any radars they might have still been on. They were also able to sit comfortably close to one another and not have to talk loudly to be heard. While the seating arrangement worked well for the couples, who could be as intimate as they wanted in a public place, it didn’t suit Alex and Sean. The two sat next to one another, but angled their bodies so they weren’t too close. Both appeared afraid to breach the line they had drawn between themselves.

Nikita was growing tired of it. The dancing around was cute at the beginning of their relationship. But since they had both expressed their feelings, it was annoying. She didn’t understand why he couldn’t be there for her, and she couldn’t be there for him, and they couldn’t just dive into it together. Honestly, if she and Michael were able to work all their shit out, then so could they. It wasn’t as hard as the two thought it was. 

Sighing and tossing down the menu, Nikita changed the topic from whatever they were barely talking about, “Do you think after we clean up everything and we’re normal citizens again, we’d have to file taxes?”

Michael choked on his water in response. He glanced over at his girlfriend half laughing and half confused, “Uh, yeah. That’s kinda what people do.”

“You have to file sales tax?” Alex searched around the table for an answer. She had no idea what her best friend was talking about. But in her defense, she didn’t have the same education the others had. Being stolen from your home country and forced to grow up on the streets did that to a person.

“Of course you’d think of shopping, Princess,” Birkhoff teased, nudging the young woman. She pushed him back as best as she could with her arm in a cast, not appreciating the dig at her new shopping habit. 

Lucky for her, Sean was able to explain, “Filing federal and state taxes that you paid during the year, typically with your paycheck.”

“Is that how taxes work in America?” In Alex’s confusion, the young girl from Russia came out. Even after years in that country, she had no idea what was happening when it came to economics and politics. It also didn’t help that her mentor didn’t know anything either. Both had spent their teenage years hooked on drugs, trying to survive without a home or anywhere safe to go. They eventually found the help they needed to get clean and strive. However, they were still lost when it came to typical adult citizen things.

“See, this is why we should’ve taken that economics course instead of the history one,” Nikita replied with a shrug. 

That earned the women strange looks from around the table. Sonya was the first to speak the question on everybody’s mind, “You two took classes? When did you find time for that?”

“Before Alex infiltrated Division. I hacked into an online college so we could take some classes and fill in the gaps in our education. It worked in some aspects. But we still don’t understand loans, or taxes, or any of that stuff,” Nikita explained.

“Yeah. You’re not gonna learn any of that in school. That’s more of a trial by fire kinda thing,” Rubbing Nikita’s back reassuringly, Michael informed the women. Although Sean nodded in agreement, Birkhoff and Sonya seemed just as surprised about that fact as Nikita and Alex. The one thing Division agents definitely had in common was a lack of understanding of what it took to be considered a functioning member of society.

Feeling brave with his new team and the family dynamic they were creating together, Sean shared a fact about his childhood, “Car loans and inspections were the only positive things my dad ever taught me, and it still didn’t help when I actually had to do it.”

Alex shared a sympathetic look with Sean, tentatively patting his arm in support. Sean smiled at her in appreciation. He was more or less over his hurt feelings concerning his father, though he continued to be angry about it from time to time. Surrounding himself with the love and support from his family and friends helped. As did Nikita agreeing with his anger and father issues. She held up a hand for a high five, excitedly stating, “Hell yeah. Shitty dads for life.”

Sean slapped her hand with matching enthusiasm. Birkhoff laughed at their antics, while Alex and Michael rolled their eyes. Sonya wasn’t quite sure how to react. She hadn’t spent enough time with them to fully understand how they interacted with one another. She knew they were smart, and kind, and uplifted one another no matter what. They had also brought her into their friend group, regardless of the fact that she had begun a relationship with Seymour. Despite all of that, Sonya wasn’t certain of the role she played with the team. Her mind was made up for her, however, when the waitress came to their table at the exact moment Nikita made her joke. The expression on the young woman’s face caused Sonya to giggle.

“Are you ready to order?” The waitress’ question alerted Nikita and Sean to the stranger who had witnessed their interaction. Both blushed, focusing instead on the food they had wanted to get. Joking about terrible things with friends was one thing, in front of complete strangers was a completely separate story. The table could barely get their orders out over their laughter and embarrassment. 

Once the waitress was finally able to write down what the group wanted to eat, the friends settled. At least the conversation was flowing better than it had when they first arrived at the restaurant. It just took rash decisions and lack of understanding. After a second as they took some soothing drinks, Birkhoff remembered something, “Speaking of shit dads, Nikita did you know Division killed your foster dad?”

“Why else would I tell him about Division if I didn’t want him dead?” She said it very nonchalant for a person speaking of murder. But after everything Gary put her through, it was justified. 

“You got Division to kill your dad, lucky,” Sean cracked a smile. Leave it to them to make jokes about assassinations.

“When did you tell Gary anything,” Needing to fill in some gaps to the story, Alex wondered.

“After you got picked up by Division, but before I planted the bug on Nerd,” Nikita flashed a wicked grin in Birkhoff’s direction.

Instantly, he scowled at the memory, “That wasn’t funny, Nikki. Amanda was the one who did the surgery. My mouth hurt like shit for weeks after.”

“It was kinda funny,” Michael chuckled.

Nikita laughed along with him, adding, “You know, I never even listened out of it. I just used it to throw suspicion off of Alex.”

Birkhoff’s appalled expression forced Nikita and Michael to laugh harder. Sonya, Sean, and Alex shared equally confused glances. Alex knew the most about what was occurring, but it wasn’t enough to quite catch up to the three. They had been through a lot together, working for and against Division. Sometimes, Alex thought of them as the Three Musketeers. No matter what, those three would have each other’s backs and take on the world. She was glad to be working with them.

“What exactly went on before I joined the team?” Sean interrupted their moment.

“A lot,” Michael replied simply.

“Too much,” Birkhoff huffed.

“That doesn’t tell us anything,” Sonya was on Sean’s side of the conversation. 

Alex smirked, turning towards Nikita and Michael. After countless times Nikita had poked fun of her and Sean’s relationship, it was her turn to tease them, “Well I know these two went from wanting to kill each other to having sex at every opportunity.”

With a groan of agreement, Birkhoff collapsed his head on the table. He had walked in on them far too many times for his liking. He was so glad that they wouldn’t be sharing a living space anymore. Michael didn’t seem affected by her comment; he just shrugged at the truth of it. Nikita, on the other hand, glared daggers. Soon, her own smirk pulled at her lips, “You know how we did that? We actually acknowledged our feelings and talked about them. We also trusted each other enough to finally start a relationship.”

Her best friend did not like that answer. Alex glared back at Nikita, while Birkhoff and Michael bit back laughter. Sonya avoided eye contact with everyone, not wanting to get involved. And Sean blushed as he hid behind his glass of soda. Clearing her throat, Alex came up with a way to get back at Nikita, “At least I never kissed Ryan.”

“How do you know that?” Nikita was more shocked that the young woman knew about the kiss than the fact that she shared the knowledge out loud.

Michael glanced at his girlfriend puzzled, “You kissed Ryan? When?”

“They met up on Valentines day, and afterwards she told me to pursue a relationship with Nathan. So I figured something went down between them,” Alex explained as though it were obvious.

“Oh, okay,” Shrugging, Michael was able to move on from the topic. It was before they had worked out whatever it was that was going on between them. So who was he to be mad or jealous over a simple kiss.

Sean couldn’t move on, however. He stared at Alex with utmost confusion marring his expression, “Who’s Nathan?”

Birkhoff also couldn’t get past the interaction. His reaction overlapped Sean’s as his tone of voice was more incredulous, “Hold on. When Ryan kisses Nikita it’s whatever. But when I do it, I get my ass kicked.”

“When the fuck did you kiss Nikita?” Alex was too excited about that revelation. The thought of Nerd kissing her best friend was possibly the funniest thing in the world to her.

Sonya looked to her new boyfriend for an explanation. She wasn’t upset or jealous. After all, their relationship just started; there were many things in their past they didn’t know about. However, she still wanted to hear the story behind that. Michael was the one to provide explanation with the roll of his eyes, “First of all, we weren’t together when they kissed so who cares. And second of all, you said I could kick your ass when we got back from raiding Division.”

“I didn’t think you guys would survive. Why else would I do all of that?” Birkhoff defended himself.

Laughing softly, Sonya moved closer to Birkhoff, “You were kissing a lot of girls that day. But I was the best one, right.”

“Oh absolutely,” As the two kissed sweetly, the table erupted in either ‘awws’ or ‘that’s gross’. Whereas Sonya giggled, Birkhoff flipped them off.

Michael, Nikita, and Alex laughed at the nerd, yet Sean was ready to get back to his question from earlier, “Alright. You guys are closer than normal teams. We get it. Now. Who is Nathan?”

“He’s just my old neighbor and ex boyfriend. We got into a fight and broke up before I was discovered as Nikita’s mole,” That was all Alex was willing to divulge about Nathan. She still felt guilty about what occurred between them. It wasn’t fair. Nathan didn’t deserve to be wrapped up in her life. She should’ve left him alone, and let him live his life peacefully.

Sean didn’t seem all too satisfied with the answer. He looked like he wanted to dig into Alex’s past relationship a bit more. Nikita noticed, and immediately flashed a shit eating grin, “Why you wanna know so much, Boy Scout? You jealous?”

Not being able to throw anything with her broken arm, Alex did her best at tossing a crumpled napkin at Nikita with her nondominant hand. She had to mutter her curse across the table so the others wouldn’t hear, “Will you fuck off?”

“No,” As defiant as ever, Nikita responded simply. The waitress returning with their food, saved her from anything else her best friend could’ve done to her in retaliation. The rest of the dinner went smoothly. They continued to tease and joke, but it was all out of fun and love. The friends deserved to have a night like that. They had been through so much, and were victorious. Celebrating as a family was the best thing to do. It meant that they could be happy and free. That was the future awaiting them, and they were all excited. 


	45. Chapter 45

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set during 4x05 "Bubble". Inspired by the fact that this episode makes me unhinged, and by my thoughts on what Alex and Nikita were thinking as they teamed up for one last ride together.

She was happy. Wrapped up in Michael’s arms, Nikita was so unbelievably happy. She was always happy when it was the two of them together in their own little bubble, but that time was different. The happiness didn’t fade as the stress and anxieties of their current situations came crashing in. It was surrounded by peace and security. There was nothing to worry about. It was Michael and Nikita- just Michael and Nikita. They weren’t against the world or shadowy organizations. They were simply together, safe and sound for the first time ever. Because they won. After so much time, they won. The world was saved, and so were they. 

When they woke up that morning, there were no plans or missions for them to figure out. They could enjoy one another in sleepy passion and joy. Nikita’s laughter bubbled out of her chest light and breezy. Her carefree happiness couldn’t be contained. A constant smile brightened her features as they placed lazy, tender kisses and talked about their future. Michael and Nikita had a future. It was actually attainable. It was right within reach. No more running, or hunting. They got their pardons, their wishes, and their happily ever after.

In a bubble of morning light, there were no more problems that needed to be fixed. The most Nikita had to do that day was accept a medal. Until then, she could laugh with her fiancé. He told her of their little house on the beach where they could spend the rest of their days. And he told her she was the greatest thing to have ever come into his life. Her loving kiss expressed that she felt the same about him. She just had to tease him first- as always. Everything the two did was light, and carefree. They could afford to be so, and they reveled in it. Michael and Nikita deserved their happiness.

The way she answered the phone was dreamy. That was where they were, after all, in a dream like heaven. But she was shot back to hell with one sentence; there was an accident. She barely registered the hospital name, or any other information. All she heard was Ryan’s name and she leapt out of bed, away from the bliss of Michael’s arms. He chased after her, and tried to get her attention. She was panicking. She couldn’t understand how there was an accident. There shouldn’t have been any more accidents.

Michael took the disconnected phone out of her hand, throwing it on the bed out of sight. Gently, he placed soothing hands on Nikita’s cheek and neck. He needed her to look him in the eyes. She’d calm down and answer him then. She was on the verge of tears as she relayed the information, that something was terribly wrong. Panic arose in Michael’s chest as well, yet he squashed it down by prioritizing. They needed clothes, their military escorts, and they needed to tell their friends. They had to be kept in the loop. Nikita managed a nod, and they were off in a rush.

While Michael gathered more information and told their friends of the accident, Nikita sprinted to where she could find him. She had to get to Ryan. Her voice wasn’t recognizable when she shouted at the doctor to let her in. It sounded desperate and distant. All her focus was on her family laying bloody and beaten on a stretcher. She wanted to break down, demand to know what happened. Yet she held it together for him. She had to be strong for him like he had been for her countless times before. 

Ryan gripped her hand as best as he could with the broken bones. He had to tell her something. He had held on that long just to tell her. It wasn’t over. None of it was over. They were living a lie. Amanda was alive and The Shop continued to roam free. They lost. Nikita didn’t want to believe it, she just couldn’t. But Ryan was never wrong, he was always so stubbornly right. Even as a doctor tried to pull her away, she held tight to her family’s hand and listened to every word he said like it was gold.

And then, all of a sudden, he was silent. He was too quiet. The machines were beeping too damn loud, and Ryan was silent. Shock forced her to let doctors and nurses push her away. Nikita stared at her family, not processing anything but the flatline and his lifeless blue eyes. She surprised herself by remaining upright. Although her mind was screaming and her insides were cold, on the outside she showed only the briefest of despair. Tears welled in her brown eyes, and she attempted to reach for him through the closed doors. Other than that, she didn’t appear as destroyed as she really was. That all faulted, however, when her feet brought her back to the waiting room.

Her fiancé was soft with his question. He was upset too, and he needed to know how their friend was. Nikita choked on her response. Ryan was dead. Amanda killed him. Clutching at Michael’s shirt, she let the sob escape her throat. It didn’t matter that Ryan’s blood was still on her hands. Nothing mattered. Ryan Fletcher was dead. Michael held Nikita tightly, his own tears falling free. They were supposed to have made it. They were supposed to be free. No one else should’ve been lost. They lost Owen. They lost Sean. It wasn’t fair to lose anyone else.

Somehow they got back into the car. The tears stopped, and rationality took over. The world had to know that they were wrong. Ryan’s death couldn’t have been meaningless. What he died for needed to be realized. The Shop and Amanda were going to be destroyed once and for all. So they went to Nikita’s medal ceremony as planned. There, she would have had the platform to relay their mistake. They could rally together and defeat the threat. However, that wasn’t going to be possible. Because the world needed that false happy ending. After everything, the world needed heroes to believe in. Monsters on the loose just couldn’t be shared with the public.

Nikita wasn’t going to listen. Never again would she listen to asinine orders. But Michael agreed. They could go about it the smart way. If they were really going to bring down that bitch, they had to be smart. He had a point, though her stubbornness wasn’t going to accept it without a fight. She couldn’t sit and wait to be smart. She had to act. Amanda and The Shop were going down no matter what. Who cared what the public thought, Nikita had already lost so damn much to that war. It had to end.

* * *

She was healing. Alex had been healing herself by talking to her friends and family. She was also helping others with her job within the UN. The position gave her purpose and drive. Not that she didn’t have those things before, but it was different. She, Alexandra Udinov, was helping people just like her. She was giving them hope by destroying the evil people in the world. She was a spokesperson of good, and the light that can be achieved even after living through such darkness. Alex was healing from her trauma in a bubble of love and support and purpose.

It was what Sean would’ve wanted of her. He said he wanted his girl back, and she was giving him that. She was working on herself, striving to be her best self possible. It was hard work, yet so was anything worth doing. There were low points, especially when her family was hurting. But they pushed through, like they always did. She could feel herself becoming stronger and better than she had ever been before. That was the power of her family. And, that was the power of herself. Alex could do anything, including processing her past. She had ignored it so much, living in an ignorant bubble. However, since she had recognized it, she had begun to grow. 

Growth and healing did work well together. By healing, she could grow- and vice versa. She was starting to be in a better place emotionally, and mentally. Her heart was still heavy, and her nightmares full. But she found that she wasn’t as sad anymore. Alex once cried over the fact that every time she was awake, she was sad. That hadn’t been the truth for her for a while, however. She had felt that bubble of happiness when she was falling in love with Sean, and she had it again as she healed. It was wonderful.

The way she answered the phone was teasing. Alex was ready to make a joke about what Michael and Nikita had been up to all morning. But the voice on the other end of the call was so serious. Michael was almost always serious, but that was worse- far worse. She was shot back in reverse with one sentence; there was an accident. Reflex made her grip onto her necklace. Ryan was hurt badly. The doctors were doing the best they could, yet it wasn’t looking good. She didn’t register anything else he said. She couldn’t believe it. There weren't supposed to be any more accidents.

Sam was there for her when she collapsed. After the call ended, she couldn’t feel. She dropped the phone and cried. But the tears seemed more automatic than anything else. Alex didn’t even care that someone was comforting her. She was pulled back to other times, too many other times, when she received bad news. It never ended well. For her, everything went badly. Ryan wasn’t going to make it. She just knew it. 

It wasn’t fair. They were all supposed to have their happy endings. Michael and Nikita were together and happy. Birkhoff and Sonya were safe and sound. Ryan had his answers. Sam was discovering who he really was. And Alex was finally healing. But it was all for nothing, not when one of them was dead. They couldn’t say they made it, when he wasn’t there with him to live in the happiness they created.

After Sean, no one else should’ve died. She couldn’t save him, but she could’ve saved everyone else. Alex lived so others could too; that was what Nikita had said. But it had to have been a lie. Because they didn’t all survive. Once again, it didn’t make sense how she was always the one to live. She should’ve died instead of Sean, maybe then he would’ve been able to save Ryan; she wasn’t able to. She was never able to keep the ones she loved from dying. She had lost so many friends and family it was hard to keep count.

She was only twenty-two years old. She should’ve been graduating college, not sobbing over another lost family member. The most difficult decision in her life should’ve been whether or not to go to grad school, or get a job- or both. It shouldn’t have been how to move on yet again. She didn’t think she could. She had done the impossible by healing after Sean. His death gutted her. Alex barely felt human with him out of her life. Through her family, however, she was able to grieve healthily. She continued to live- for Sean, who had only wanted the best of her. She could survive with him in her heart.

But she didn’t think she could survive after that. It was just one too many blows. Alex pulled herself away from Sam, moving to be alone in the cockpit of the airplane. They were already headed to where the others were, but maybe if she was by the autopilot they could get there faster. She needed her family, and she knew they needed her. They could mourn together, and figure out everything they had to do. At the moment, however, she was left alone with her thoughts. She hated it. Her thoughts were evil beings that ate at her alive, then more than ever.

Alex didn’t know how long she had been like that when Sam joined her. She didn’t want to talk, and he didn’t either. Instead, he handed her the phone she had dropped. It was Nikita. Alex’s tears returned to her usually bright blue eyes at the sound of her best friend’s. Except sorrow wasn’t marring Nikita’s voice. She was full of that cold righteous anger that had fueled her for so long. Amanda killed Ryan. It wasn’t over yet. They would make certain it was that time, however. It started with the two of them, and it would end with the two of them.

Quickly, Alex was filled with the same rage Nikita had. No more self loathing, it was time to enact revenge. Amanda, that fucking bitch, had taken too much from them. With Ryan’s final bit of information, they were finally able to destroy her. She would pay not only for Ryan, but also for Sean. She would pay for everything she had ever done to them in her shitty way to make them into something they never were.

Michael was right when he said they had to play things smart, but he was wrong in saying they had to wait. They could be deadly, smart, and quick. After all, they were fucking Nikita and Alex. They were the strongest, most capable women in the entire world. They were done running scared. It was Amanda’s turn to fear them. Alex and Nikita deserved to heal and to be happy. The only way to achieve that was to have Amanda burn. They gladly took up the challenge together. 


	46. Chapter 46

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An AU for 3x07 "Intersection". Inspired by a comment on Fanfiction about Nikita losing her hand instead of Michael.

By the time the grenade was tossed under the car, it was too late. Nikita saw Ann throw it out the driver’s side window, but it took her a moment to process it. She somehow managed to get herself back inside the vehicle. When the blast made the car flip, however, her hand still holding tight to the pistol continued to hang out the open window. Pain hit her first as she came to, then the warmth of the fire, and finally the weight of the car on her right hand. She tried to tug it free, but it hurt too damn much. The crash must’ve broken her hand- and her ribs, if the splitting feeling along her side was any indication. Nikita didn’t give up though. With grunts of frustration and pain, she attempted to free herself.

Michael rushed over to her as quickly as he could. She had heard his and Ann’s fight, but she barely registered the fact that it had ended in Ann’s death. All of Nikita’s focus was on her crushed hand. Michael tried to help her pull and lift the car. Except he was as battered as she was from the crash, and the damn SUV was impossibly heavy. Frantically glancing around for any kind of solution, Michael noticed the fire rapidly reaching the gas tank. He tried to hide the fact from Nikita, yet she noticed it too.

“Go,” Nikita gritted forcefully. There was no use in fighting it anymore. She was stuck, and the car was going to explode. Her fate was sealed. But Michael could still make it out alive. She needed him to make it out alive, “Get out of here!”

“I’m not leaving without you,” Immediately, Michael negated her command. He strained while he attempted to lift the car again. He wasn’t going to give up. They always found a way out of the worst situations. The current one wasn’t going to be an exception.

“Fuck,” Nikita collapsed against the asphalt, resulting to kicking at the car to get herself free. A knife next to her head caught her attention. She didn’t know how it had gotten there; it must’ve flipped over towards her during Michael and Ann’s fight. But that wasn’t important at the moment. She realized she had found a way out. Making eye contact with Michael, Nikita snapped, “Do it.”

He had no idea what she was talking about. Her brown eyes brought his green to the dangerously sharp knife on the road. It took him a second, but he soon knew what she wanted him to do. Cutting off her hand was the best solution they had. Backup was still miles out, and the fire was rapidly becoming deadly. That was their best chance of survival. With hesitation, Michael picked up the knife. He glanced down at Nikita, ensuring that it was what she wanted. Her gaze was fierce as she shouted, “Do it!”

Michael was quick and strong with his strike. The screams ripped out of Nikita’s throat against her will. The pain her battered body had been in was nothing compared to that. Michael tried not to look her in the eyes as the pain gripped her. He needed to focus on moving her from the car, and stopping the bleeding. He couldn’t let himself falter at the look in her wounded eyes. Nikita didn’t last long in consciousness. She was losing a lot of blood, and the pain was becoming too much. Her last thought before she passed out was that at least she could still wear her engagement ring.

Nikita was in and out of it for a while. Backup had arrived, and instantly rushed her to Medical to get patched up. The blood loss and shock kept her floating in and out of consciousness. As did the pain meds she was being pumped with. She had faint memories of Michael constantly by her bedside, holding tight to her left hand- her only hand. Although he never moved from her side, sometimes she caught him sleeping, and other times crying. The most she could ever do in return was squeeze his hand back. 

Eventually, she had the strength to sit herself upright. Michael snapped awake at her movement, moving even closer to her. Nikita wanted to brush her wild dark hair out of her face, but moving her right arm hurt. She couldn’t remember why, until she looked at the bandaged stump where her hand used to be. Oh. That was why. Michael whispering next to her forced her to tear her eyes away from the sight, “Hey Baby, are you feeling okay? Are you dizzy?”

Shaking her head slightly, Nikita couldn’t really think of another answer. She blamed the drugs. She moved to take the IV drip out of her arm, yet Michael still held her hand. Trying to use her other hand was automatic. When she remembered once again that it was no longer there, her arm seized in pain. She did her best to fight it back, not wanting him to see it. It was of no use, however. Michael shot to his feet, and gently made her lay back in the bed. He ran soothing hands over her body, “It’s okay, Nikita. Just relax.”

“Go home,” She meant it to be full of concern. He was in a car accident as well, and sleeping in chairs didn’t do any good. He should’ve gotten the care and rest that she had. However, her voice was coarse and harsh as she spoke. The words were full of bitterness. She wasn’t suggesting, she was commanding. Her eyes slipped closed again before she could see his reaction. And before she could figure out where the anger had come from.

The next time Nikita had the strength to sit upright, Alex was slumped in the chair instead of Michael. The young woman hurriedly rubbed the tears out of her bright blue eyes, and plastered on a small smile. Doctors and nurses obscured Nikita’s view of her for a moment, as they changed bandages, asked her questions, and attempted to change her IV drip. She was harsh as she denied any more medication. She didn’t want it clouding her mind or making her so damn tired. The medics had dealt with her enough to know not to fight her, and gratefully left her alone for the time being.

“It’s good to see you stubborn,” Alex’s joke fell flat. She meant to lighten the mood. But Nikita wasn’t up for it; she just stared at her. Despite that, Alex continued to smile. Nikita’s eyes rolled on their own. Slowly, she moved out of bed. Alex’s grin faltered at her movement. She went to force her back against the pillows, “You should keep resting.”

“I have to pee,” Harshly, Nikita pushed past Alex. She was shaky on her feet, yet she made herself continue. She had to get out of the bed. She needed to move around. But, more importantly, she wanted to be alone. It was difficult to think while everyone was hovering.

Alex didn’t let Nikita wander far out of her sight. She stayed close, even trying to go into the bathroom with her, “Do you want me to help?”

“I got it,” Slamming the door after her, Nikita nearly yelled. She had had broken bones before that caused her to only be able to use one arm. She could manage on her own. It was still frustrating, though. Especially when it came to washing her hands- hand. But she gritted her teeth and forced herself through the discomfort and challenge. Nikita knew there were going to be consequences to her actions. An amputated hand was not an easy thing to adjust to. The major complications were obvious to her, and she was ready to face them. The simple things, however, the simple things were getting to her.

Birkhoff had replaced Alex’s presence in the room when Nikita finally came out of the bathroom. Shuffling back to the bed, she ignored him. Her head had started to spin as she continued to stand. She needed a moment to sit down. But she didn’t want to lie down again. She was tired of lying around, doing nothing. She was ready to get out of Medical and actively heal. Although Birkhoff steadied her when she wobbled, Nikita shoved at him to back off. She was crossing the room; she could do that on her own, “I’m fine.”

“Are you? You keep snapping at everyone,” Birkhoff was factual with his statement. He didn’t let his emotions rattle his tone. He wanted to, but that wasn’t how he was going to get her to understand. 

“I’m tired and sore,” Settling onto the mattress Nikita huffed. Her wild hair had once again fallen into her face. She had to forcefully stop herself from automatically brushing it aside with her nonexistent right hand. Her fingers got tangled in the locks, not used to the movement. Her engagement ring got tangled as well. She had taken it off before the mission, but she had woken with it on. The sight confused her in the bathroom. She had simply shrugged it off with other things taking precedence in her mind. At that moment, however, it was frustrating and annoying, “Who the hell put my ring back on?”

Nikita struggled to pick the strands of hair she had pulled out of the diamond. Birkhoff reached to help, causing her to pull her hand tightly against her chest. She could do it. She was going to have to figure out how to do things with one hand on her own. If she was going to have to live with the impairment the rest of her life, she needed to learn how to deal immediately. Relying on others would just deter her. So, she ripped the hair out of her ring with her teeth and spat the strands off of her tongue. It probably wasn’t sanitary, or necessary, but it worked. 

“You’re not alone, Nikita…” Birkhoff started, but he was silenced by her glare. It wasn’t the time to start the ‘your family is here for you’ lecture. She was being more stubborn than normal. Her frustrations and anger were rolling off of her in harsh waves, affecting everyone around her. Nikita had only begun to heal from the accident, and not just physically. The amputation was a huge adjustment. It wasn’t something to get over in a day. It was going to take time and patience. Both were things Nikita was never any good at.

Lost in her own thoughts, Nikita didn’t notice Birkhoff leaving. She was contemplating what she was going to do next. Her wound had to heal first. Then she could join the team on the hunt for Amanda and the Dirty Thirty. However, she didn’t know what role she would’ve taken. She could possibly be out in the field. She could work around the disadvantage of only one hand. But things wouldn’t be the same. Her team would cast her those sympathetic looks that were driving her insane. Nikita didn’t think she could take it any longer. She needed to be fixed immediately.

As her feet were hitting the ground once more, Michael came back into the room. She didn’t know where she was going, but it had to have been away from there. Michael stopped her, however, gently grabbing hold of her good arm. She ripped it away angrily, “Leave me alone.”

“You need to rest, Honey,” Despite her bitterness, and the irritation she had caused in Alex and Birkhoff that led him back to the room, he was tender with her. 

She wasn’t having it, “I’m fine. I got it.”

“You’re not fine,” Softly, Michael reached for Nikita. He would provide the patience that she was sorely lacking. He managed to place loving hands on her neck and cheek, but it was only for a second. With all the force her weak body could muster, she shoved him away. Even hurt, she was able to make him stagger back a bit. But he didn’t go far. He wouldn’t move far.

Nikita snapped. Her frustrations and anger before wasn’t a match for then. All of her complicated emotions bubbled to the surface, and erupted in a wave of hot tears in her eyes, “Why did you listen to me? I’m stubborn and rash. You’re not supposed to listen to me. You’re supposed to be the rational calm one. You don’t ever listen to me!”

“It was the only way to save you. I would do anything to keep you alive…”

“I know! I know! I know it was necessary. And I know how to eat, write, drive, and shoot with my left hand. I also know how to fight with one arm tied behind my back. But I don’t know how to fucking wash my hands. Or how to tie the drawstring on these stupid pants so they don’t fall down. Or how to take off my ring and put it back on. Or even how to move my hair out of my face!” Nikita paced as she ranted. She had to stop in the middle of it to rest against the wall, but her frustrations were still understood.

Michael neared her with small steps. Although she let him approach, she tore her eyes away. He tried not to sound cliché while he said, “You’ll learn. It’s going to take time, but you will. You always learn and overcome.”

“Why did you listen to me again? Why did you leave?” Her voice wasn’t harsh with that question. It was soft and wounded. Michael’s heart broke at the sound of it.

“Because I didn’t want to be selfish,” He got Nikita to look him in the eyes, as he touched her once more. Her body canted into the soothing, familiar touch against her will. He closed the distance between them, “I can’t imagine the amount of pain you’re in. I really can’t. But I can still be here for you no matter what. You deserve to heal in any way you need. If that includes me blindly following your orders, then so be it. I’ll go home and get your ring, and everything else you ask for.”

“I didn’t ask for my ring.”

“In your sleep. You kept saying that despite everything, you can still wear your engagement ring,” A small half smile graced Michael’s lips. His hand on her cheek drifted down to her left hand, and held it tightly. His thumb grazed over the diamond absentmindedly. The tears in Nikita’s eyes finally fell. She collapsed into Michael’s hold, letting go of her bitter feelings. He held her tightly against his secure chest, never daring to let go. It was going to take her some time to adjust, physically and emotionally. But she was able to start by letting her family in.


	47. Chapter 47

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set sometime in season 1. Inspired by missing movie nights with friends.

Nikita felt as though she had only been asleep for a second. The instant she flopped on her bed and her head hit the pillow (well, the mattress next to the pillow), she was fast asleep. It had been a rough couple of days; she was absolutely exhausted. Finally being home and able to rest felt fantastic. Her gear could wait to be cleaned and stored, and so could her dirty clothes. All that mattered was the sweet release of sleep. However, Nikita wasn’t lucky enough for it to last forever. She was very rudely awoken by somebody entering her loft.

“Fuck,” Jolting upright and muttering, Nikita whipped out the knife she kept under her pillow. She prepared to throw it in the direction of the intruder with deadly accuracy. Whoever surprised her was fortunate that the sleep had to be blinked out of her eyes first. Otherwise, they would’ve been at the mercy of Nikita. 

“Whoa, whoa, Nikita. It’s just me,” At the sound of Alex’s hurried voice, the rogue agent dropped her guard. She collapsed back onto the bed, groaning. Alex set down the shopping bags she was carrying, and cautiously approached Nikita. She didn’t want any more dangerous surprises, “You’re still asleep? Are you alright?”

Rubbing her tired eyes and pushing her wild hair out of her face, Nikita turned to look at the time. It was almost noon. Her voice was thick with sleep as she grumbled, “I’ve only been home for two fucking hours.”

“Seriously?” Alex sat on the edge of the still made bed- evidence that Nikita passed out the second she had gotten back to the loft.

Other pieces of evidence were the boots, jeans, and leather jacket still clinging to her lithe frame. Nikita kicked at Alex’s thigh as she sat up again and hid the knife back in its spot under her pillow, “Not everyone has the government resources to fly them back from parts unknown.”

Whereas Alex had easily rushed off to the airport and jetted back home with the Division strike team the night before, Nikita had to finagle her way to the states. It was simpler getting to the other side of the world to ruin the black ops mission, but that was due to Alex and Michael’s help and intel. She was on her own for the return trip. Considering that meant changing methods of travel quickly and constantly staying alert, she didn’t get any rest after taking apart another Division operation. She planned on making up for that fact by sleeping throughout the remainder of the day. 

However, Nikita completely forgot that Alex had the day off, and they had a whole movie day set up. The goal was to actually relax and enjoy themselves while they had no active missions to destroy. With a small, disheartened shrug, Alex went to move off the bed, “We can reschedule movie day if you want.”

“No. No,” Nikita stopped the young woman. She breathed deeply, before flashing a bright smile. She could stay awake a while longer; after all, she had pulled longer all-nighters. Alex deserved a day of relaxation just as much as she did. Still shaking herself awake, Nikita jumped off the mattress and pulled her friend along with her, “I gotta clean up and eat anyway. I can sleep when I’m dead.”

Alex laughed, and immediately dove for the shopping bags she had brought in, “Great. ‘Cause I got stuff to make pizza, and a whole bunch of kickass movies.”

“Cool. You can set everything up while I shower,” Nikita nudged Alex towards the small, somewhat functioning kitchen in the safehouse, and hurried to clean off the traveling filth. Her shower was quick and effective. She didn’t want to take up too much time, afraid that Alex might burn down the loft with her cooking. The young woman really had only one skill in the kitchen, and that was pizza. Nikita should’ve probably taught her more things to make, but they could’ve put that off for later.

Towel drying her hair, the rogue agent joined her friend in the kitchen just as she placed the pizzas in the tiny oven. Everything looked to be in order, so Nikita relaxed. Together, she and Alex moved to the great room to pack away the gear. They wanted to create as much space as possible for the best movie watching experience. Alex had a projector and Nikita an extra sheet. The women could relax on pillows and blankets on the floor, while enjoying their films on a giant screen. It was as though it was their own kind of slumber party- just as adults, and as super killer spies.

Nikita hovered nearby when Alex removed the pizzas, making certain she turned off the oven. They settled in a pile of comfort, and dug into the delicious food (Nikita was impressed. Alex was very proud of herself). After a moment, the young woman reached for her bag to pick out a movie to start watching, “So what should we start with.  _ Mission Impossible III _ , or  _ Charlie’s Angels _ ?”

The rogue agent nearly choked on cheese, “Definitely not  _ Mission Impossible _ . I can’t stand those movies.”

“That’s because you keep nitpicking about the inaccuracies,” Alex rolled her blue eyes.

“They pass it off as real spy stuff, but it’s not. If one of us pulled any of that shit, we’d be caught and killed,” Nikita felt another rant about spy movies coming. She could live with some inaccuracies in films. But when it came to portraying life or death situations, she got frustrated. Maybe because she had been through them too many times to count. 

“But the third one is the best one. And I swear to God, you look just like one of the agents. She even kicks ass like you,” Alex continued her defense of her movie selection. 

Shaking her head, Nikita made the decision for them. She grabbed  _ Charlie’s Angels _ and popped it into the DVD player. Alex huffed, but ultimately went along with the choice. She’d get her way soon enough. The 2000’s movie was cheesy, yet fun. The women joked and talked through it, as they continued to eat and drink. They were having a lot of fun just hanging out and relaxing. At some point, Nikita got up to clean up their dishes. As she left the room, Alex shouted, “Wait. Are you serious?”

“What?” Nikita responded, hurrying back. Alex had the remote in hand, and was rewinding the movie. She paused it in the middle of an action scene to point at a kick one of the characters had done.

“I’ve seen you do this. Did you steal this from  _ Charlie’s Angels _ ?” The young woman wasn’t accusatory with her question. She was elated. The fact that her friend might’ve taken an action move from an old, cheesy movie excited her.

Grabbing the remote, Nikita played the scene to watch the kick in motion. She began to laugh, “Yeah actually. I think I did. But you know, I’ve always thought of myself as an Angel.”

Alex laughed along with her, “That’s so awesome. But if you’re an Angel, then that makes me an Angel too.”

“Uh. Hell yeah you are,” Rejoining Alex on the floor, Nikita played along with the idea, “And Owen’s our other Angel. Since there’s always three of them, and he’s helping us with the black boxes.”

“Wouldn’t that be Michael though?” Alex wondered. It had taken her some time, but she eventually got used to the idea of working with Michael as a mole. The move in their working relationship (and his and Nikita’s romantic relationship) was awkward at first. But they worked it all out. They were beginning to become some sort of family. A strange family, that were more like close friends than anything, yet a family of spies nonetheless. 

Nikita shook her head, negating the thought. She grinned smugly as she remembered a joke from what felt like a lifetime ago, “No. Michael’s Charlie.”

Although Alex didn’t know about the original context of the joke, she found herself giggling uncontrollably at the thought. Her, Nikita, and Owen running around in skimpy outfits while following the orders of the mysterious Michael, was an image that would make Alex laugh for days. She had to take a moment to calm down, before she could ask, “So who’s our Bosley?”

“Nerd. He is the engineer of the black boxes,” Nikita shrugged. When Alex had told her about what happened to Birkhoff regarding the boxes, she felt a little guilty. She was still determined to take down Percy, Amanda, and Division, but the fact that her former friend was in the crosshairs hurt. She had used him before as a decoy for Alex, but she knew he wasn’t going to be in harm’s way that time. He was too valuable to Division. Despite that fact, Nikita liked the little computer nerd. Birkhoff was fun to mess with, especially on missions. If she was being honest with herself, she missed him a little bit.

“Eh, I guess. He’s a bit of an ass though,” Alex didn’t easily agree with the idea. She hadn’t had the same interactions with the hacker Nikita had. To the young woman, the nerd was a major arrogant jerk. He wasn’t a friend at all. 

“He kinda grows on you. Just keep making fun of him, and he’ll turn around,” Nikita suggested with a sly smile, “How do you think I won Michael over?”

Alex playfully shoved at her for that response. They laughed it off, resuming the movie and their light conversation. When Nikita succumbed to her exhaustion around the end of their second movie ( _ Mulan _ ), Alex played  _ Mission Impossible III _ . The rogue agent woke in the middle of it, and sleepily complained the rest of the way through. She was only egged on by her friend, who was enjoying the sleep filled commentary. The women enjoyed their time together, delighting in their day of relaxation. It was easy, and light- just what they needed in the middle of saving the world.


	48. Chapter 48

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An AUish for season 3, 'cause I had to fudge the timeline so that they were all happy and healthy in Division together. Inspired by a comment on Fanfiction about Sean and Owen betting and sparring.

They really didn’t have anyone to blame except for themselves. Their sore muscles, dark bruises, and wounded pride were because of their inane idea. The group honestly should’ve expected the outcome- how else was it supposed to end, really. But, they had hoped for the best. There were eight of them in total, after all. The odds were in their favor. Well, it would’ve been if they were against anyone else. They were doomed from the start, if only they had seen that earlier. At that moment however, they had to accept defeat and the bitterness that came with it. And that horribleness, was Nikita prancing around the Division training room like she owned the place. Because she did. She earned it after beating their asses.

All of them had been in the training room, sparring, boxing, and exercising in general. It was a weird day, where nothing about Dirty Thirties or Amanda popped up on their radars. Computer programs were running, trying to track them down. Yet, all was quiet that day. So, the team had an opportunity to relax. Instead, they went to sharpen their skills. Everything was going well for a while. Nikita was showing Alex some new take down technique. Sean and Michael were sharing different Navy weapon tactics they had learned. Ryan was being coached by Birkhoff on the best way to kickbox. Sonya was destroying a punching bag. And Owen was lifting some weights. It was always calm before the storm, however.

Birkhoff started it. At least, it was easy to say that he had started it. He made a comment to Ryan about being able to kick anyone’s ass, no problem. Nikita and Alex had overheard, and immediately started to taunt and tease the nerd. Setting the weights aside, Owen began to back the women’s statements. Sean chimed in here or there, especially when Birkhoff retaliated. Sonya shook her head, and ignored their shenanigans; it was best to leave them to it sometimes. But Michael escalated everything by suggesting that they should prove it- who really was the best fighter amongst them. There was no hesitation in agreeing to the idea. They’d all do anything to prove themselves right.

Thinking of the most efficient way to go about the sparring battle royale, Ryan came up with the fighting bracket they could follow. They’d start off against someone they hadn’t had much experience practicing or fighting with; it was the most fair option given their history as a team. For the sake of time, two matches would be happening concurrently on different mats. A tap out ended the fight, there wouldn’t be any countdowns or knockouts. The winner would then move up the brackets, and spar against the next person until there was only one winner.

Owen voiced that the winner should get some sort of prize along with knowing they were the best. Debate broke out amongst the team about what that should’ve been. Eventually, Sean shut it down by suggesting bragging rights for a whole year. They agreed. Gloating uncontested about how great they were for 365 days was gold to all of them. Missions would go a lot smoother with one of them clearly in charge, as they were the best agent out there. And so, with everything settled and rules in place, the fighting commenced.

Nikita absolutely destroyed Owen on one of the mats. When he had been on the regiment, he and Nikita were more evenly matched. But without it, he was hopeless against her. Although he did hold his own for a bit, Nikita still wrecked his shit. On the other mat, Michael and Sean were in a real struggle. There’d be a moment when one of them thought they were about to win, but then everything changed in an instant. The fight was a constant back and forth between the two men. At some point, Michael got lucky with a hold Sean just couldn’t break. Frustrated, the Seal wound up tapping out.

Sonya managed to give Alex a run for her money for a couple minutes. She dodged and struck the superspy with practiced ease. It didn’t last long, but she continued to try her best; she even broke out of the first hold. However, at the end of the day, Alex was still far more trained in sparring than Sonya was. Meanwhile, across the training room, Ryan and Birkhoff were squaring off against one another. The computer nerd was excellent in boxing. He could’ve gone far in the competition with that type of fighting. Except they were sparring, and though he was an analyst, Ryan was still CIA. It was a struggle, but he eventually got Birkhoff to tap out.

Everyone was excited to watch Nikita and Michael fight. Those two were the definition of ‘power couple’. Ryan and Alex even stopped their match to watch them spar. Much to the team's disappointment, however, the fight was quick and painless. Michael had pulled Nikita close to him in a stronghold. Instead of trying any traditional way to break free of it, she simply leaned forward and kissed him. His surprise allowed her to flip him, and slip into some kind of choke hold. He tapped out after a few seconds.

Alex and Ryan’s sparring match only lasted a little bit longer than that. The analyst's limited training was no match for the spy’s. Once she got him into a tight hold, it was all over. Alex and Nikita rested a moment before their match together. They both knew it was going to be long and hard. But they were determined to take each other down. They both deserved a sweet victory. 

Although Alex and Nikita were right about their strenuous match, Nikita still came out on top. She danced around the mat after pinning Alex, proclaiming herself the Queen of sparring. No one could contradict her, she had earned the title and the right to gloat. While she was doing that, the rest of the team were icing sore muscles and drinking much needed water. She soon joined them off the mat, her bright smile in opposition of their grumbles. Of all of the people to earn bragging rights, she was sure going to smugly rub it in their faces at any opportunity; she already did that with records she had broken, and missions she had succeeded. They had given her more fuel for the fire.

“The brackets could have been set up way better,” Owen soon grumbled at Ryan.

The analyst took offence to that, especially when Birkhoff agreed with the sentiment, “Michael and Nikita should’ve gone against each other first. Then they could’ve worn themselves out, and the rest of us could stand a chance.”

“I don’t know. I did pretty great,” Alex smirked. She wasn’t as upset as the others. After all, she had gotten second place. She could brag about that as long as Nikita could about winning, “In fact, I was awesome.”

“Yeah you were. And besides, Nerd. You lived with me and Michael for a whole year. You know we never get tired,” Nikita’s innuendo caused the group to either laugh or groan, depending on whether or not they had ever walked in on the couple.

Michael rolled his green eyes, nudging his fianceė gently, “But if we ever do, is it before or after you cheat?”

Despite everyone laughing and her fiancé's trademark smug little grin, Nikita pushed forward. She amped up her flirting, by pulling Michael close against her, “All’s fair in love and war, Babe. Not that I heard you complaining on the mat.”

His not too subtle gulp was proof that she had gotten to him. Again, those who had walked in on them before groaned as the others continued to laugh. Birkhoff spoke loudly so the two would separate and stop whatever it was they were doing, “Is it me, or have they gotten worse since they’ve been engaged?”

“It’s definitely not you,” Ryan muttered mostly to himself. The amount of times he had gone to find members of the team, and accidentally caught couples having sex in old recruit rooms was driving him insane. It wasn’t just Nikita and Michael, though they were the most open about their PDA. Sean and Alex, and Birkhoff and Sonya were just as terrible at sneaking off in the middle of the day for a quickie.

“Regardless of Nikita and Michael’s match, or lack thereof, what made the brackets so awful?” Sonya brought the topic back to Owen’s original point. She was curious as to what he had to say.

Glad that the attention was back on him, Owen stated simply, “If I was up against anyone else, I would’ve been able to go a lot further. I mean. I can take the nerd and the Seal…”

Sean interrupted his explanation with a harsh chuckle. He shook his head, trying to control his laughter, “Yeah, right. You wish you could take me in a fight. I’d hand your ass to you in three seconds flat.”

“Wanna bet,” It was more of a dare than a question. The room glanced between Sean and Owen in excitement. That sparring match wasn’t about teammates picking on one another, it was male pride. Owen and Sean were both known to be stubborn. They were great at what they did, and they were aware of that. It took a lot for them to change their minds, and admit defeat or the fact that they were in the wrong. Just like Alex and Nikita’s fight, it was going to be a long and hard sparring session. The difference, however, was the women fought for their version of fun. The men were aiming to prove themselves. 

“Why not,” Sean smirked and cracked his knuckles, “We already played for bragging rights. So why don’t we go for humiliation this time.”

“There’s some dresses in Amanda’s old office,” Birkhoff chimed in. Although the nerd was given confused glances, no one asked him why he jumped straight to that.

After taking a second to think over the seemingly out of nowhere suggestion, Sean extended his hand, “Alright. Loser wears a dress to the next briefing.”

“Deal,” They shook on it, and prepared for one more fight. 

Alex quickly gave Sean a good luck kiss and encouraging pat on the ass, before we went out on the mat. He was distracted for a bit because of that, but managed to shake it off just in time for the first strike. The Seal was wrong about taking down his opponent in three seconds. He was a tough fighter, who knew how to use his strength to his advantage. The two men had completely different fighting styles, causing them to constantly fail their grappling holds. It took some time, but eventually Sean got Owen on the mat. Although the sparring match rapidly turned into a wrestling one, the Seal eventually won. Whereas Owen had the strength that normally would’ve allowed him the win, Sean had the brains and quick thinking to beat him.

They had to wait a whole day in anticipation before the next briefing, but sure enough Owen was there in a very tight fitting dress. He appeared so uncomfortable (and a bit in pain), yet that didn’t stop the team from laughing. He had made the bet. He had to accept the consequences, just as everyone had to accept Nikita’s sarcastic superiority when they went out on a mission. Betting and fighting really didn’t mix well for the group.


	49. Chapter 49

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set pre-series in Nikita's Division days. Inspired by Amanda and Nikita's conversation in 2x18 "Power", and a deleted scene between Amanda and Nikita in 2x11 "Pale Fire".

Nikita held her head between her knees, breathing erratically. Her body was shaking and tears were streaming down her reddened cheeks, but she couldn't stop. She had lost control, curled into a tight ball on the floor of the target range. She had gone there to hide. The room was almost always empty, other recruits and agents choosing the hightech target practice instead. She could collect herself in peace. No one would know she couldn’t handle it. But her anxiety attack bubbled to the surface before she could control it. There was nothing she could’ve done, but hope it would all be over soon. And hope that nobody ever found her.

She had been in Amanda’s office. Although Operation Pale Fire was only a few days ago, Nikita was called on yet another mission. Amanda specifically requested her for the op, and to see her in her office to prep. Nikita was required to wine and dine some corrupt delegation, gather information, then kill him. It seemed standard enough; she wasn’t too worried about how it would play out. The problem came when Amanda was helping her with her makeup. Her cheek had been busted open after a rough sparring session with Kelly. Nikita had won of course, but a harsh blow still broke and bruised her olive skin. With practiced skill, Amanda covered it up.

“We never finished our conversation the other day, Nikita,” Connecting her cold blue eyes with Nikita’s brown, Amanda smiled. 

The young agent had walked out of the Pale Fire debriefing, claiming she was exhausted and jetlagged. It was a long flight from Moscow, so there was some truth to her words. But in reality, Nikita just wanted to run away from Amanda. She was digging too much into her childhood. That topic was always locked as tightly and securely as possible. Talking about it meant reliving it. She definitely didn’t want to do that within Division, or with Amanda. She would’ve been seen as weak. Weakness would’ve gotten her killed.

“What’s more to say? Foster care was a bitch, and Gary was a piece of shit,” Nikita fed her the same line she normally did. Shifting in her seat to try and separate herself from the prying woman, she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. Amanda was doing great work in disguising her face wound. The parts the makeup covered didn’t look injured at all. However, the image of herself hiding a serious bruise, caused old memories to flash in her mind. Nikita had become exceptional at covering the wounds Gary had inflicted on her while she was growing up. Baggy hoodies and jeans were her staple clothing choice. Maybe that was why she chose to wear such revealing clothes as an adult. She didn’t have to hide anymore.

It wasn’t the time to delve into all of that, however. Not with Amanda in the room, scrutinizing her features. Yet Nikita couldn’t help thinking about it, especially while someone else was doing her makeup. It reminded her too much of her foster mother helping her cover up the worst injuries. She would reassure her, all while pretending a bruise could be fixed with a little bit of concealer. The contradiction used to drive her insane, and she could feel the insanity at that moment. Amanda was laying on the kindness in order to dig into her past. It was always an ulterior motive for her. She couldn’t just be nice. 

Sometimes, though, Nikita would get wrapped in it. She’d feel comfortable in the kindness, relieved to finally receive some sort of love and support after being denied it for so many years. That was one of those times, as Amanda applied the finishing touches of makeup tenderly, “But what about Caroline? She wasn’t all bad, was she?”

“No,” Nikita almost said. She managed to keep her lips shut. Gary she was fine discussing. Whenever she was forced to open up about her life, she would simply talk about him. Her foster mother, however, she never talked about her to anyone. Nikita thought she had maybe mentioned her by name once after she had ran away for good. Other than that, her foster mother was kept to herself. She couldn’t quite explain why that was. She was always able to understand Gary and his abusive, alcoholic self. Her foster mother was complicated. Her feelings regarding her were as well. It was easy to hate Gary. Caroline, not so much.

“There. You look perfect,” Amanda proudly moved away from Nikita. The young agent was able to get a full glimpse of herself in the mirror. Her dark hair was curled around her shoulders, her bangs pinned back with a stylish clip. The red cocktail dress clung to her curves gorgeously, and accentuated her lithe frame. But it was the makeup that made the look irresistible. Sparkling eyeshadow and thick eyeliner made her brown eyes pop. Her full lips appeared even fuller with bright red lipstick. And her complexion was absolutely flawless. She was the image of perfection.

However, it was all wrong. Nikita could feel it in the pit of her stomach. The makeup only made her appear beautiful, underneath she was flawed and damaged. She didn’t even have to look deeply for that, she could’ve simply wiped off the concealer and blush to reveal the dark, marring bruise. She blamed associations for what she thought of next. Operation Pale Fire had gotten to her, she’d admit that fact to herself. Alexandra Udinov was only thirteen years old, and was going to have to live with so much trauma; Nikita could definitely relate to that. Her own teen years were absolute hell. She only hoped that the girl would be able to live the rest of her life safe and sound.

It was thinking about Alexandra that already had her on edge for the past couple of days. Add in Amanda prying about her foster mother while making her over for a mission, and she started to tumble over. All of a sudden, Nikita was thirteen years old again. She was watching her foster mother through the mirror as she prettied her up. Gary was having friends over, so she had to look presentable. The bruises needed to be covered. Her foster mother had to hide her wounds as well, yet Nikita was the priority. She was young and pretty after all.

In the present, Nikita was starting to panic. She didn’t want to revisit that situation. She had already lived through the horror, she couldn’t do it again. Attempting to even her breathing, Nikita smiled at Amanda. The grin was the fakest she had ever given, but it had to do, “Thank you, Amanda. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go over the op again.”

“Of course,” Amanda smiled back. If Nikita was reading the expression correctly, it was as fake as hers. But she couldn’t focus on it. All of her might was in keeping a straight face as she left the office, and moved past other recruits and agents. No one could see the crack in her walls. They were getting larger the more she pushed forward, however. The fear and rage from that night when she was thirteen had resurfaced. It brewed and festered inside of her, begging to be unleashed. Despite Division, despite her upcoming op, the feelings she had bottled up were going to be released. She needed to calm down.

The empty target range was as good a place as any. Nikita kicked off her high heels, collapsing into the corner. She needed to breathe- in and out in a steady rhythm. She was alright. She wasn’t in that home anymore. She had gotten out. Except, had she really escaped the hellhole. Division was just as terrible as her foster home. She was used and abused to Percy’s liking. She had no autonomy. It was kill or be killed.

Nikita’s tears came suddenly. They streamed down her face without ceasing. Her breath hiccuped and gasped along with her sobs. She was trapped. Even after running away, she was in the same situation as always. Her body wasn’t her’s. It was a tool for men to get what they wanted. She was a punching bag, a messenger pigeon, a sexdoll. Men’s rage and desire were acted out on her, whether due to alcohol or a perverse sense of national security. Her first runaway attempt at thirteen didn’t last. It took several times for her action to stick. By the time she was sixteen, she was free. Or so she thought. At eighteen she was brought back to hell. She fought and she struggled, but it was of no use. Because still in her early twenties, she was right where she began.

She wasn’t certain how much time had passed. It felt like hours, her body trembling and curled in on itself while she worked through the attack. That was what it was- an attack. Fear and rage were assaulting her mind relentlessly. The feelings had her in a stronghold that she couldn’t break free of. There was no reprieve, and no battling it. All Nikita could do was ride it out until it finally ended.

The door opening, startled her. She did her best to control her breathing and stop her tears. Panic lent a hand in attempting to calm herself. If anyone saw her like that, they’d run and tell Amanda and Percy. She would be deemed unfit, and she would be canceled. Not that those were bad things. Sometimes she wished she would just be canceled, then the pain would go away. However, some sort of pride and stubbornness usually took over, causing her to fight for the right to keep living. It was almost as though she was alive solely out of spite.

“Nikita?” Michael found Nikita standing on wobbling legs, furiously wiping away tears. She continued to sniff, and take in shaky breath. But when he came into sight, she put on an automatic fake smile. Michael saw right through it, as always, taking careful steps towards her, “Are you alright?”

“Never better,” Her lie was of no use, yet she attempted it anyway. The dress was wrinkled, the perfect curls were tousled, and the makeup was runny. She looked exactly how she felt, like she had been through hell and back.

Gently, Michael placed a reassuring hand on Nikita’s shoulder. The tears almost started up again with the soft gesture. She bit her lip to keep them back. He was quiet as he spoke, his voice full of concern, “What happened? Are you okay?”

“Just tired,” Nikita had relied on the excuse more times than she could count. ‘Just tired’ shooed away everyone from questioning teachers to inquisitive Amanda. Everyone knew exhaustion did strange things to a person. They could be emotional, despondent, and irrational. If a person was just tired, there was no need for future questions. She could be left alone to deal. It was safer that way. The truth meant punishment. Lying was how she saved herself from pain.

Michael wasn’t going away, however. He moved closer to her, wiping away a tear that had escaped, “I know you hate what happened on Pale Fire, and a sweetheart mission isn’t going to fix that. So if you need to take a break, I can get another agent. I’ll come up with some excuse why. You can rest, Nikita.”

She wanted to take his offer; she really wanted to take his offer. He would protect her from any consequences, she was sure of it. However, nothing in Division was ever that easy. One way or another, she had to do as they said. Nikita had accepted that fact before, she could do it again. Squaring her shoulders, she took a deep breath, “I can do it.”

He hesitated. Although he wanted to try, there was no use in getting her to back down. She was just too damn stubborn. If she was going to be that way, however, then so was he. Michael would give Nikita the time she needed to recover from whatever shook her up so much, orders and the next mission be damned, “I’ll take the backroads there. Say we hit traffic.”

Startled, Nikita glanced up at him in uncertainty. He was serious. She didn’t ask for it, but he was going to give her time regardless. A small, grateful smile pulled at her lips. Michael returned the favor, slipping his hand off her shoulder. For a brief moment, he held her hand in his and squeezed it tightly. She squeezed back. Michael led the way to the carport. He shielded Nikita from anyone who spared them a glance, which allowed her to fix her appearance. She may have been in another hellhole, and she may have been just another man’s tool. But that time, she had an ally to make her feel like the person she was.


	50. Chapter 50

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set after the events of 2x18 "Power". Inspired by my original idea for the previous chapter, but I didn't like where it was going so I made it into two separate stories.

“What are you making?” Nikita glanced up from the paper she was writing on to study Sean’s movements in the kitchen. After ensuring that Alex’s mother was safe, the Seal decided to join the team at the beach house. He had become part of their mission to destroy Division, it made sense that he would hang around their safehouse from time to time. But Nikita was fairly certain there was another reason he was there; the same reason he had readily agreed to go to Russia in the first place. She’d have to tease Alex all about it later.

At the moment, however, she was focused on the red goop Sean had plopped into a saucepan. She had heard him muttering about being starving, and how they didn’t have any food in the damn house. With everything happening recently, grocery shopping had fallen off of their to do list. They were more or less relying on takeout and quick snacks from the pantry for meals. Sean must’ve found something appetizing, however. He was stirring the contexts of the saucepan happily, a fond smile on his lips. Curious to see what he had somehow discovered in their sparse resources, Nikita moved closer to the stove.

The smell of the food hit her first. It made her recoil involuntarily. It wasn’t necessarily a bad smell, but it made her want to back away nonetheless. She and canned pasta had never had a pleasant memory. The sight and smell of it always sent her reeling back in time to childhood and running away. Luckily, she didn’t have to dwell on the memory for long. Alex had joined her and Sean in the kitchen, expressing her disapproval over the Seal’s food choice, “I can’t believe you’re gonna eat that crap.”

“Hey. Canned spaghetti and meatballs were a staple in the Pierce household. It was the best option for ‘I’m tired, you kids make whatever for dinner’ nights,” Sean gave the canned pasta a final stir, turning off the heat. He playfully flicked the spoon at Alex to get her to move out of his way; she was blocking the cabinet with the bowls. Droplets of spaghetti sauce splashed on her nose. Immediately, Alex retaliated by flipping the spoon out of Sean’s grasp and into her’s. She purposely smeared some sauce on his nose, before handing back the utensil. Although he glared at her, his hazel eyes were sparkling with laughter.

“I didn’t even know we had canned pasta,” Alex continued to judge as she finally moved out of Sean’s way. She turned to Nikita for an explanation, but she could only shrug. The rogue agent was trying her best not to comment on the interaction she just witnessed. She’d have to save it for when the Seal was out of earshot before she could tease her friend. For the moment, Nikita had to speculate with Alex where the food came from. The can must’ve been in the back of the pantry, a forgotten item possibly purchased a long time ago.

Returning to the paper she had been writing on, Nikita smirked, “It is  _ Chef Boyardee _ . It could’ve followed us home.”

Whereas Sean laughed at the reference, Alex rolled her eyes. She sat next to him at the table, scrolling on her laptop for takeout options while he slurped on spaghetti. There was a chance he was doing that on purpose, to annoy her with the noise and the mess. If that were true, she was going to hand his ass to him when they practiced sparring later. As they were doing that, Nikita was adding some finishing touches to her paper. She was very proud of her handiwork, slapping the final product on the fridge. They didn’t have any magnets, so she had to tape it on with the duct tape left on the counter.

Alex tore her attention away from Sean long enough to notice her friend’s actions. The paper looked oddly familiar, and it took her a moment to understand why, “Is that my battle plan from Moscow?”

“Your drawings are spectacular. I have to make it fridge art,” Nikita smirked. After their briefing before taking down Ari and Amanda a couple of days earlier, she grabbed the sketch Alex had made. The young woman was coming into her own as a capable agent, the planning she had done was proof of that. Nikita was proud of her friend's accomplishments. She wanted to show it off. Also, she found the stick figures to be absolutely adorable.

“What, like some stereotypical sitcom family?” Moving to get a closer look at the paper, Alex questioned. Sure enough Nikita had added ‘Alexandra Udinov, March 30, 2012, Age 20’ to the sketch, like a child’s drawing from a television show would have had. Alex glared at Nikita, “I’m taking this down.”

“Oh come on. How else do families show how proud they are of each other?” The rogue agent yanked the young woman away from the fridge by pulling her into a hug. Alex relaxed into it for a second, before breaking free. Although she continued to glare, she left her drawing where it was. Nikita had made her sentiment clear. 

Sean joined the women in the kitchen, dumping his dirty dishes in the sink, “Well, families also talk to each other about their accomplishments. Or give each other special treats. Or even use real magnets on the fridge.”

“This works great for my family,” Alex rebutted his tease. Shrugging as he cleaned, Sean tried to hide his smug grin. She saw it, however, and playfully smacked his shoulder.

“It’s still the best I’ve ever had,” While she went to search for a snack, Nikita lightly quipped. Sean hadn’t cleaned the saucepan yet, the canned spaghetti smell still permeating the air. Once again, she was launched back into childhood. She managed to shake the feeling off once more.

Hopping up to sit on the counter, Alex gently broached the subject change, “You never really talk about your childhood.”

Nikita shrugged the fact off as though it were nothing, grabbing some crackers to eat. For all her talk about being open with her team, the rogue agent sure knew how to keep things tightly to her chest. Her upbringing was definitely one of those things, “What’s there to say? Foster care was a bitch, and Gary was a dick.”

“See, I told you they weren’t doing anything important,” Birkhoff was heard before he was seen. He and Michael walked in from the other room, a tablet in the nerd’s hands. They had been going over some plans, when they heard the other three rummaging in the kitchen.

“I know hygiene’s not important to you, Birkhoff. But to us…” Drying the dishes he just washed, Sean let his taunt drop off. Nerd could figure out where he was going with it.

Birkhoff glared and laughed sarcastically, “Wow, so original.”

“I’m actually more interested in the ‘Gary was a dick’ comment,” Michael pushed past the Seal’s and Nerd’s taunting, moving closer to Nikita. She silently handed out the packet of crackers to him, and he took a couple to snack on. Around a bite, he continued, “Must’ve been a fun conversation.”

“Nikita was just brushing off talking about her past again,” Alex didn’t pull her punches. She gave her friend a pointed look. Talking about the future, they were all fairly decent about. But pasts were always taboo. Nikita was the most guilty of avoiding the topic. She could get the team to open up, all while deflecting from herself. But Alex wasn’t going to let her get away with that anymore.

“It doesn’t matter anyway. I have a new family now. With fridge art,” Nikita was serious. The team was her new family. Nothing was going to change that. She didn’t have to worry about her past, or the demons that lied there from childhood. She had friends and family that deeply cared for her. Nikita was alright. 

The mention of fridge art made Michael and Birkhoff glance at the refrigerator. They immediately started laughing at Alex’s battle plan taped to the steel door. Although she rolled her eyes, she smiled. It was nice to have silly moments like that. Sean nudged Alex’s leg, smirking, “It really is just quality artwork. It belongs in the MOMA.”

“He’s right. But uh, who’s that again, Princess?” Birkhoff flashed a smug grin as he pointed to the stick figure of Ari. Sean’s teasing she could take, but the nerd annoyed her. Alex tossed the recently cleaned spoon at him. He fumbled the catch, and the utensil crashed to the floor with a clang.

Sean gaped at the scene, “Are you serious? I just washed that.”

“Yeah, Alex. Nerd touched it. Now it’s all greasy,” Nikita quipped. Birkhoff glared at her, picking up the spoon to hand it back. The others laughed at his expense, and shifted to mocking one another. It was easy for them to poke fun and tease. They always meant it in jest, as though it were some kind of game. The jokes lightened the dark tension the team usually found themselves in while taking down Division. It was also a way for them to express their fondness for one another. They were the type of friends who showed affection through sarcasm.

Michael pulled Nikita closer to him, his hand warm and secure on the small of her back. She smiled up at him brightly. He matched her expression, and whispered in her ear, “Don’t think you’re off the hook. You’re gonna talk about your childhood.”

His trademark smirk flashed across his lips when she pulled back. Nikita shook her head, shoving the crackers into his chest, “Buy me dinner first.”

Chuckling, Michael brushed the crumbs off of himself and turned to the rest of the team, “What do you guys want for dinner? If we eat, Nikita talks.”

The teasing came to a full stop as they began to argue about what to order that night. Despite being annoyed by her boyfriend. Nikita joined in on the debate. She did eventually talk to her family about her childhood. It wasn’t that in depth, but it was enough for them. Anything would’ve been enough for them. They were there for her, and she for them. Hiding things from her family was ridiculous. They weren’t going to judge her, or leave her. The found family were together through thick and thin, then and forever. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god, I wrote fifty of these. That's basically a book, if I were any good at multi chapter stories. Thank you so much for reading. I have a lot of fun writing these, and I'm so glad you enjoy reading. :)


	51. Chapter 51

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set after the events of 2x11 "Pale Fire". Inspired by another idea I had for chapter 49, but again I made it into a separate story.

Curled on the couch, Nikita stared at the ocean outside the window. She could only see the moonlight reflecting off the swelling waves, but that was enough for her. It was peaceful. She allowed her mind to relax and wander to simple concepts, like the ocean and the night sky. They were things she could understand easily. Unlike her life, or the nightmares keeping her awake. Mostly her night terrors revolved around her current stressors. Division was giving her hell, so she would dream of missions gone terribly wrong. That night however, a very old memory tormented her sleep. Instead of attempting sleep again, as she usually did, Nikita walked around the beach house. Moving was better than thinking over the terror. Worrying about waking the others, however, she eventually settled on the couch. If she couldn’t move, then she’d stare at things that could.

Quiet, unsure footsteps approached the couch from the hallway. Nikita didn’t need to turn her head to know it was Alex. Her steps were always a lot quieter and lighter than Birkhoff’s. Shifting over on the sofa a tad, Nikita silently opened her arm to the young woman. The blanket she had wrapped herself in was large enough for the two of them to comfort each other under. Alex gratefully accepted the invitation, curling tight against her friend’s side. The two women sat wrapped in warmth and comfort for a long while. They didn’t say anything, just stared ahead at the night outside. Both knew why the other was still awake; it was obvious given the hour and who they were. Yet talking about it could wait. The women simply needed a shoulder to rest on. 

When Alex finally spoke, her voice was soft. Although she was talking to Nikita, she still needed to find the courage to put the words out there, “I never told you how I got to Moscow.”

Nikita didn’t respond. It was Alex’s story; she’d tell it when she was ready. She did think that Division had sent her to Russia. Amanda and Percy wanted power over Zetrov, so naturally they would’ve sent the agent they had been attempting to control to do the dirty work for them. But judging by the lack of backup, and what Alex had just said, that wasn’t the case. After taking a steadying breath, the young woman continued, “I couldn’t get in legally, not with Zetrov wanting me dead and Division keeping me on a leash. So I went back home the same way I left.”

There was no need for Alex to explain further than that. Nikita knew. The nightmares and unsure words were a result of living in the past. She had to experience human trafficking all over again. That time, however, she had gotten herself out clean and unharmed. Well, unharmed physically. There was no telling how much the experience haunted her thoughts. Being with her friends helped, though. Alex was able to share more of the tale, less anxious and with a more certain voice, “I saved the girls I was with. Just like you ‘Wonder Woman’.”

It was strange to laugh at the memory of Vlad, yet the women did so anyway. If they couldn’t find some way to see the humor in what they had experienced, how could they move on past the horror. Humor as a coping mechanism was their specialty. Nikita shifted her arm so she could flash two fingers at Alex, “Just like I did twice.”

“Right. Wonder Woman,” The young woman reiterated with a deadpan expression. They laughed some more, relaxing in the lightened tension. Alex rested her head on Nikita’s shoulder, and she laid her head on her’s. The blanket loosened around them as they changed positions, but they didn’t mind. They had each other for warmth and comfort.

After another moment of silence, Nikita figured it was her turn to open up. Despite how annoying the cliché was whenever someone said it to her, talking did help. It freed the mind of anxiety and eased the soul of its burden, “I’ve been thinking about your mom. She reminds me a lot of my foster mother. They both love their daughters, but the men they’re married to…”

She let it drop there. It wasn’t the time to bring up their past. Or to talk at length about mothers being controlled by fear and manipulation from the men in their lives. The women had already spoken about the topic, and they weren’t up for it again. Alex knew what Nikita meant by mentioning the parallels she was drawing. Terror from childhood tended to stick with them, resulting in nightmares. But they had each other to rely on.

“Let’s not talk about our childhood anymore,” Sighing, Alex concluded. Nikita nodded in agreement. Another moment of companionable silence passed, before the young woman asked, “How are you and Michael?”

“Need to talk. How are you and Nathan?” Nikita didn’t exactly redirect the question. She did answer it; she just didn’t have the energy to go in depth. It was easier to give a simple explanation and move on. When she and Michael finally did talk, then she’d discuss it with Alex.

“Broke up a long time ago. The only man in my life is the annoying Sean Pierce,” Mumbling, Alex caught her friend up on her love life. They hadn’t had the chance to talk about it after everything went down almost half a year ago. The women needed a catch up session, where they told each other everything that had been going on in their lives. Maybe when it wasn’t the middle of the night, and when they weren’t still reeling from nightmares, they would.

“Huh,” The rogue agent responded to the sentiment about Sean. There was no need for the young women to mention him, yet she did. 

Alex lifted her head from Nikita’s shoulder, turning to face her friend, “What?”

“I didn’t say anything.”

The two looked at each other for a second, trying to determine what they meant by their comments. They weren’t getting anywhere with that, and Alex sighed once more, “Do you just wanna watch a movie?”

Collapsing against the couch cushions, Nikita readily accepted the plan of how they were going to spend the rest of the night, “Hell yeah.”

They ended up falling asleep in the middle of the movie, cuddled together under the large blanket. Birkhoff found them in the morning, and rudely woke them up with teases about having a slumber party. Nikita and Alex fired back as best they could with sleep muddled minds. How their morning went wasn’t important, however. The women had spent the night comforting one another, and rekindling their friendship. It was great to reconnect after so many months apart, their relationship strained due to Division. But Alex and Nikita were back together, as partners, friends, and confidants. They weren’t going to be pulled apart again. 


	52. Chapter 52

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set between 3x12 "With Fire" and 3x13 "Reunion". Inspired by the fact that I wanted to see some kind of wedding planning in the show.

“Alex, we don’t have time for this,” Nikita complained as she was led out of Division by the very persistent young woman, “We have to find Ari’s son.”

“The computers are handling it. Right Sonya,” The way she said it left no room for argument. They were going and that was final. There was always going to be a next mission and another day to save. However, that didn’t mean they had to put their lives on hold. They had to keep living, it was what they were fighting for- their freedom. So, a couple hours out in the town wasn’t going to hurt anybody. 

“It’ll be fine, Nikita. The boys will call us if there are any developments,” Sonya was on Alex’s side of the argument. The women should’ve been able to get out of Division for a little while. They had done everything they could’ve. The search algorithms she and Seymour set up would alert them as needed. For the moment, they could live their lives and think of the future waiting for them.

Despite Alex and Sonya’s reasoning, Nikita was anxious about leaving Division. She always felt there was more she could’ve been doing. Amanda and the Dirty Thirty were still out there doing God knows what; she shouldn’t be taking a break. However, she fell under her friends’ pressure of relaxing for a moment. She did protest, but she let them lead her away anyway. It was mostly so she could prove that she could think of other things besides the next mission. And because the idea of what they were going to do excited her. Nikita never thought she’d have an experience like that, but there she was with her closest friends.

Alex led the way into the boutique in full Alexandra Udinov mode. It was not the time to be sensible, they needed everything high end and in that exact moment. What they were doing was one hundred percent serious. There was no time to play around. At least, until they were in their own private room with all the dresses, snacks, and champagne they could ever want. No one was going to bother them for hours. Nikita could try on wedding dresses to Alex and Sonya’s amusement in peace. 

“Because you have finally picked a location and set a date,” Alex began, already bringing a dress over to Nikita.

“Potential location and date,” Nikita corrected as she opted for a flute of champagne instead. 

Glaring at her best friend, Alex shoved the dress at her. She was only somewhat careful of the alcohol in her hand, “I was going to say this was my treat, but I think I might change my mind.”

With a smirk, Nikita sipped champagne, “That’s fine. I was thinking of grabbing a dress from Division storage anyway.

Sonya laughed, while Alex seriously regretted suggesting the idea of shopping for wedding dresses, “I’ll kill you.”

Nikita laughed, setting done her glass and moving to the other side of the partition to change. Alex flopped down on the couch exasperated. It was going to be a long day of shopping. Sonya continued to laugh as she dug into the alcohol and tray of fruits and cheeses. The agents may have been riling each other up, but the tech expert was enjoying the company. She was always glad when they invited her for an outing with them. It was bound to be some kind of adventure, or just a great way to blow off steam. She definitely needed the later as of late. Doing something so normal as wedding dress shopping was the perfect way to relax from their world of spies and assassins. 

After a moment, Nikita came out from behind the partition in the dress Alex had picked out. It was absolutely stunning, but she didn’t look too happy in it. She kept twirling around, trying to move it in different directions. Alex rolled her eyes at the sight, “You’re not going on a mission with it.”

“I know. But I still have to move,” Nikita emphasized by spinning herself around to face the full length mirror. She contemplated how she looked for a minute, “I don’t know. It’s just not how I pictured it.”

“Then try this one,” Sonya suggested as she handed over the dress next to her on the couch. Nikita took it, and another sip of champagne, before moving to change once more.

“So you’ve been picturing your wedding day a lot, huh,” Teasing, Alex popped a grape in her mouth. Sure Nikita wore stylish dresses and perfect makeup, but she wasn’t a stereotypical girly-girl. When someone met the superspy, they weren’t thinking she would spend her days dreaming about the perfect wedding. Granted, they were usually thinking about how they were going to survive their fight. Regardless, it was interesting to witness her in the role of a typical engaged woman. 

Sonya and Alex didn’t need to see Nikita to know she rolled her eyes, “What else am I supposed to think about when I’m beating the shit out of somebody? Besides, it’s not like this is the first time I’ve been engaged. It is the longest, though.”

“His name was Daniel, right?” Sonya had heard the story before. It was a cautionary tale to the recruits. Fall in love and their loved one will die. Even the best of them was no exception. Nikita fought back, however. That was what Sonya always took from the story. Division tried to break her, but she only came out stronger.

Alex nodded for Nikita, who was struggling with the zipper of the dress, “You never really told me about Daniel. What made you want to marry him?”

Stepping out from the partition, Nikita gave her best friend a look, “You wanna talk about that now?”

Her dress was elegant, but her bright underwear showing through the material ruined the appearance. They should’ve given her more of a heads up about the dress shopping. Then she could’ve at least worn the appropriate underwear. However, Alex still had to comment on the hilarious sight before her, “Love the underwear by the way.”

“Thanks. It’s Michael’s favorite,” Nikita deadpanned. She grabbed a whole bottle of champagne, and went take the revealing garment off.

Whereas Alex groaned at the innuendo, Sonya laughed. She drank and ate some more, before returning to the question Alex had asked. Sonya was curious to know what made Nikita risk Amanda’s and Percy’s wrath. She wanted to know about the man she dared to love while trapped in a place full of fear, “Your underwear is very fashionable. But I agree with Alex, what made you want to marry Daniel all those years ago?”

There was a pause before Nikita answered, “Uh. He was normal, and nice, and funny. I really liked being with him. And he was totally willing to run away from Division with me. You gotta appreciate the bravery and devotion… Fuck this zipper is terrible.”

“Do you need help?” Getting off of the couch, Alex crossed to Nikita.

“No. I got it,” Despite her assurance, she sounded frustrated. 

The young woman shared a glance with the computer tech. Never underestimate the agent’s stubbornness. Nevertheless, Alex handed Nikita another dress over the partition, “I’m sure you want to marry Michael for the same reasons.”

“Oh, yeah. Michael’s great with zippers,” When she was met with laughter and a groan, she answered seriously, “No, but um. He makes me happy. His heart, his determination, it’s admiring. I really love him. Like, a lot.”

Sonya and Alex understood what Nikita meant. They felt that way as well about Birkhoff and Sean. Each man had different qualities that made the women love them, of course. But that strong feeling of love was still present. Alex had a far off look in her eyes, and a dreamy smile across her lips. The words slipped past her mouth without much thought, “Yeah I know what you mean.”

In only her underwear, Nikita joined the other women. She headed towards the fruits and cheeses grinning wickedly, “I knew that kiss between you two was more than just nothing.”

“I meant Sean and you know it,” Immediately, Alex snapped. Nikita laughed at her expense, picking out some snacks to eat. 

“We all know what you and Sean are up to behind closed doors,” As she fought back giggles, Sonya quipped. Nikita high fived her for the comment, but Alex shook her head in disbelief. Over the past couple of months, Sonya had gotten more comfortable with the friend group. She had learned how to tease with the best of them.

However, Alex wasn’t going to take the jab at her and Sean lying down. She crossed her arms, and glared at the computer tech, “Oh like you and Birkhoff don’t get nerd freaky in his little hacker cave.”

“At least we’re in a private place,” Sonya looked directly at Nikita while she spoke. 

The comment had no effect on the agent. She simply shrugged and ate some grapes, “Not our fault Nerd put cameras up in there. No one goes in that target range.”

“Alright we get it. It’s your guys’ special place where you’d hook up when you were in Division,” Sick of Nikita and Michael’s open love life, Alex rolled her eyes. It was great that the two had no shame, but it was really annoying at times. There had to be some decorum to keep her sane.

Although Sonya and Alex were convinced that that was the reason the two liked the abandoned target range so much, Nikita was confused. She had no idea where they had gotten the idea from, “Michael and I never had sex when I was in Division.”

“I swore Seymour said…”

“The way you guys talked about each other screamed emotional baggage…”

“We never did. Well, we almost did…”

“What?” Sonya sat up straight on the couch, and Alex almost choked on a bite of cheese. That wasn’t the revelation they were expecting. Alex grabbed Nikita by the shoulders, and started to push her back behind the partition, “As your maid of honor, I need to know the story.”

Nikita stopped her, but only to joke, “Nerd’s my maid of honor.”

“I thought he was Michael’s best man,” Very distinctly, Sonya remembered Seymour proudly stating that he had the perfect best man speech prepared for when the two finally married. He was so excited to share it, it was remarkably sweet. He may have put up a stern front, but Seymour cared deeply for his friends. And for her.

“We’re sharing,” Nikita did her best not to laugh at Alex’s annoyance. The young woman shoved at her again, successfully managing to get the agent into the changing area.

“You’re not funny. Now put on that dress I gave you, and tell me everything,” With a huff, Alex went to chug some sparkling water. It was as close to the alcohol as she was going to get. 

“Why are you so invested in me and Michael?” The zipper of that dress was way easier than the other, which made her love it automatically. 

Rolling her eyes, Alex defended herself, “You bullied me about Sean for a full year. This is my payback.”

There was no arguing with that. Sharing her almost night with Michael, Nikita slipped on the wedding dress. When everything was said and done (and Alex had gotten some taunts in), she emerged from behind the partition. She looked beautiful. It was that simple. The dress was made for her. Sonya and Alex fell silent as they stared at her. Suddenly self conscious, Nikita turned to study her appearance in the mirror. As soon as she saw her beauty, she gasped.

“I’m getting married.”


	53. Chapter 53

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set between 3x12 "With Fire" and 3x13 "Reunion". Inspired by the fact that the boys should have a wedding planning day too.

“Where are the girls going?” Pointing to Alex and Sonya as they dragged Nikita out of Division, Michael wondered. 

“They’re gonna go buy a wedding dress,” Sean answered without looking away from the computer screen. He had been working on his computer skills since he had been stuck in Division. He was already pretty good with some hacking techniques, but with all his new spare time he had improved substantially. He had even helped Sonya and Birkhoff program the algorithm that was currently searching for Ari’s son. Alex was very proud of him.

“Don’t you need a date and location first, before you do any other planning,” Birkhoff chimed in as he swirled to face Michael in his chair. The nerd had teased Nikita and Michael a lot recently about their lack of wedding plans. The two claimed they were busy, or just enjoying their engagement, but those excuses wouldn’t hold long. A wedding was a serious thing, they couldn’t simply slap it together last minute. For the best planning the couple would need to rely on their great friend Birkhoff. 

Before Michael could reply, Ryan handed him a file he had been researching, “He’s what I got on the date and location you gave me.”

The agent’s gratitude was overlapped by the nerd’s horror, “This is the second time you’ve told Ryan over me. What is wrong with you?”

“It’s just potential wedding stuff I had Ryan look into. He is an analyst,” Michael defended himself while he flipped through the file. Ryan had done great work with gathering information on the location he and Nikita had picked for their wedding. It would help them settle on a date to stick to, and to look forward to.

Sean ignored the work he was doing on the computer to focus on the others in ops. Their conversation was much more interesting than whatever he was doing. Especially as Birkhoff whined, “Come on, man. I’m your best man. You’re supposed to tell me everything.”

“Who said you’re the best man?” Sean instantly questioned, a smirk on his full lips, “Wouldn’t he want to pick a fellow Navy man to stand with him at the altar?”

“Sean has a point,” Michael decided to play along. Of course Birkhoff was going to be his best man. The nerd had been through thick and thin with him. He wasn’t considering anyone else for the position; he was his closest friend. However, it was still fun to mess with him.

Ryan chose to participate in the conversation rather than continue his work. He was allowed to take a break. The computers were doing a lot of the heavy lifting anyway. The analyst could have fun with his friends, “I thought I’d be the best man since I’ve been doing all the research.”

Birkhoff was not a fan of the ribbing. Getting to his feet and yanking the file out of Michael’s grasp, he scanned through the contents, “Let me see what you have. Of course there’s a beach. And you’re planning an outdoor wedding. Really.”

“What, you see Nikita and I getting married at a church with a priest?” Michael couldn’t even picture that himself. A small, intimate ceremony on the beach with their family sounded perfect for the couple. 

“Is that how your first wedding went?” Sean asked innocently. The agent hardly ever talked about his past, and the Seal was curious to know more about it. 

Michael paused for a moment. He hadn’t been expecting the question. He and Nikita had talked briefly about his wedding to Elizabeth, but it was mostly wrapped up in his overall story about his late wife and daughter. He’d be lying to himself, though, if he said he hadn’t thought about his first marriage during his new engagement. Not out of comparison, just out of reflection. It had been a long time since Michael could look back on his life and think about it without feeling any pain or grief. He had Nikita to thank for that. Taking a breath to collect his thoughts, he explained, “Yeah. Liz and I had one of those great big highschool sweetheart weddings.”

“You married your highschool sweetheart?” Birkhoff perked up at that fact, “Was there a shotgun involved?”

Whereas Sean and Ryan chuckled, Michael glared, “No. Hayley happened in college. Liz and I were just madly in love and could see a future together. It made sense to spend the rest of our lives together.”

“So you had a love at first sight and a fight at first sight,” Sean reiterated a joke Alex once told him about themselves. He had laughed at the phrase when she told him, but the men stared at him like he had grown another head. After a brief second of silence, Ryan started to laugh. Birkhoff and Michael exchanged confused glances. Quickly, Sean explained, “Didn’t Nikita try to kill you when you first met?”

The agent caught onto what the Seal was saying, and laughed along with the analyst, “Yeah she did. She hated me. Hell, even when she liked me she still shot me.”

“Who wouldn’t shoot you?” Birkhoff’s comment earned him a smack on the back of the head. He grumbled something about a lack of appreciation, but otherwise remained quiet.

“That definitely beats a gun to the throat and taken hostage on the beach,” Sean reflected on his and Alex’s beginning lightheartedly. They had come a long way in their relationship. That was just what talking, understanding, and love did. 

Grinning, Ryan mused, “Are you sure you guys are fit for normal life after all of that.”

Birkhoff nodded in agreement, “Yeah you guys don’t have a typical relationship like Sonya and I do.”

Instantly, Michael and Sean burst into laughter. Nobody in their line of work had anything typical or normal. Michael and Nikita nearly killed each other before they admitted their love and got together. And Sean and Alex fought like no other until they did the same. Birkhoff and Sonya were no different. Michael voiced this while scoffing, “Says the guy who pinned at a computer screen for months.”

“Oh you wanna talk about pinning, Mikey. How about when you moped around Division for three years,” The nerd sparked an argument between him, the agent, and the Seal. Each man claimed they weren’t as stupid in love as the others said. As that was going on, the analyst was reviewing his research on the wedding location. He had his own opinions to share (they were all stupid), but he thought it was best to keep them to himself.

After a long while, Ryan interrupted the argument to point out, “I don’t think you can get a judge to officiate the wedding.”

“Then one of you can do it,” Michael decided effortlessly. Nikita would be thrilled at the idea of one of their friends marrying them. Besides, she had told him that the only thing she didn’t want was Birkhoff in charge of the catering. He could make that choice without hesitation.

Rushing to a computer, Birkhoff was absolutely elated with the idea, “I’ll do it.”

“I thought you were the best man,” The agent corrected the nerd. If it were possible, Birkhoff seemed even more excited by that idea. Finally, it was confirmed that he was Michael’s closest friend. Michael rolled his eyes.

Sean shook his head, going back to his computer, “I can do it. I know the site my buddy used to get officiated for his sister’s wedding.”

“Does that just make me the wedding planner?” Ryan wondered. He nudged Michael when he agreed, and the two ended up in some sort of play fight while they laughed. It was quickly stopped by Sean’s reaction to the text and picture he received from Alex.

“They got a dress,” He showed the message to Birkhoff, who whistled in appreciation.

“Already?” Moving to see the photo, Michael asked.

Ryan clarified, “You guys did argue for a while.”

Although Sean was handing the phone over to Michael, Birkhoff intercepted, “Uh huh, Mikey. It’s bad luck to see the bride before the wedding. Even if Nikki looks stunning.”

With an eye roll, the agent flipped the cell into his hand. One glance at the photograph and he was floored. Nikita looked beautiful. She always looked beautiful to him, but in that moment she was breathtakingly heartstopping. Michael couldn’t stop staring, “I’m getting married.”


	54. Chapter 54

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An AU for the flashback in 1x17 "Covenants". Inspired by my thoughts on what if Michael told Nikita about his family after they had sex.

“Unlike my ego,” Nikita muttered, trying to walk over towards the bathroom to get ready for the night. However, her heel snapped. She blamed the surprise knife fight that had occurred on the mission. Thanks to her rapid thinking, the worst of their injuries was a tear in Michael’s jacket. And (surprising that it took that long) a broken heel. Nikita tumbled to the ground, but Michael was there to catch her. He helped her sit on the bed, supporting her arms with his strong hands.

Kneeling down in front of her, Michael started to take off the offending shoe, “Nikita, the man is gay.”

“So,” They both chuckled at her reaction. The mission really was something. The amount of times they had to think on their feet was insane. But Michael and Nikita had done it, as they usually did. They worked well together- exceptionally well. It was almost as though they could read each other’s minds while out in the field. It helped that Division wasn’t actively there with them. They had more freedom to do as they pleased.

Nikita didn’t know whether or not Michael was brushing his thumb across her ankle on purpose, or he was doing so without thinking. Either way, it was driving her insane. The pit of her stomach lurched at the feel of his skin against her’s. She had to swallow hard to make sure her voice wasn’t too husky as she said, “You know what. You’re right. You’re an excellent honeytrap.” 

Her words were meant to tease, as they always were. She’d say something flirty or silly, just to see that crooked smile he only showed her. He gave her that grin then, his green eyes glancing up at her in amazement. He couldn’t believe she said that- he couldn’t believe her. Nikita was a force of nature with a heart of gold. That fact made him gravitate towards her. She was smart, funny, and completely capable in everything she did. He was lucky to work with her. He was lucky to be with her at that moment.

When Michael flashed his smile, Nikita’s heart stopped. Normally it would jump and rattle to see him lower his guard. But that time it stopped altogether. He was looking at her in awe, he was so close to her they were breathing the same air, and he was touching her. She couldn’t help herself. Her brown eyes drifted down to his lips. God, she wanted to kiss him. She had found herself wanting to kiss him more and more. He was smart, funny, and so unbelievably kind to her. She had hit the jackpot when it came to handlers.

Green eyes connected with brown for a sparked moment. They were thinking the same thing. Both wanted to just fall into it with one another, but there was a hesitation. A what if was holding them back. They fought past it in a blink of an eye. Their lips came together gently at first. There was trepidation in the kiss, either one of them could’ve pulled away and that would’ve been the end of it. Neither did. If anything, the kiss deepened. Nikita wrapped her arms tightly against Michael’s shoulders, pulling him to lie on the bed with her. He followed her willingly.

Michael and Nikita’s legs were entwined together as their hands roamed heated bodies. Nikita was making quick work of the buttons of Michael’s dress shirt, needing to feel more of him. Since he was in her arms, kissing her with so much passion, she just had to have him. Her body and her heart wouldn’t have been able to take it otherwise. His hands on her waist, his lips on her’s, their moans mixing together until they became indistinguishable made her feel all too alive. Every inch of her body was tingling. Her senses were singing with passion. And it was all because she was making out with Michael.

Just as she brought a leg up to wrap around his waist, he broke the kiss. Eyes closed, he whispered against her lips, “Wait, wait.”

“Michael,” His name was a heated breath against his forehead, “We’re in the middle of nowhere.”

Yes location wise the safehouse was in the middle of nowhere. But what she meant was there was no Division. No one was watching them, no one was listening to them. They were truly alone for the first time. Michael stared down at Nikita, unsure of the next move. He wanted to continue, but he didn’t know if he could. She silently pleaded with him not to go. She wanted him to stay in the bed with her, to love her and hold her. He had to stay with her. Who was he to deny her. He didn’t think he could ever deny her.

That kiss was more tender; it expressed the words they couldn’t form just yet. Their hands were less frantic as they explored the new terrain. Nikita managed to slip off Michael’s shirt and holster, as he made easy work of her dress’ zipper. They had to part so his undershirt could be lifted and thrown on the floor. Yet when they came back together, his lips landed on her neck. Her fingernails lightly scratched down his bareback. With her leg already slung over his waist it was easy to flip them. Nikita landed on top of Michael.

Laughter bubbled out of her without thought. The look of surprise he gave her for the movement barely covered his half smile. He was enjoying himself as much as she was, and that made her unbelievably happy. She always felt more at ease with him. He had a calming effect on her. To know that she could make him feel the same, filled her with joy. Michael found himself laughing along with Nikita. She brought it out of him. She also brought courage out of him.

When they removed more clothing, they stilled. Everything seemed like a dream before that moment. Then, it was abundantly clear what they were about to do. They took a moment to ensure that was what the other wanted. Michael and Nikita wanted to be certain they both wanted to move forward in their relationship in that way. The answer was an undeniable yes. Yes, they were absolutely willing to fall into it with one another.

The two worked together to get the rest of their clothes off. They were methodical in their movements, leaving behind a trail of kisses and heated touches in their wake. Once they were bare, they paused again. Not in hesitation, but in appreciation. It wasn’t a long moment, both of their bodies needing to touch and feel some more. Michael and Nikita kissed passionately. Their bodies crashed against the pillows as they continued the erotic dance. After they were both sated, they had to take a moment to calm their hearts and their breathing. Instead, they started to laugh. Joy had overcome them, and they beamed at each other. The two felt lighter, more carefree. They had moved forward in their relationship blissfully. They were thrilled that there was no going back.

Like taking off their clothes, Nikita and Michael worked together to clean up and curl under the covers of the bed. She was starting to drift asleep, relaxed in his secure arms. His smokey deep voice kept her from drifting off completely, however, “I don’t regret what he did. I’ll never regret this. But… and it’s not about Division, and it’s not about you. It’s about my wife.”

“Your what,” In complete disbelief, Nikita pulled away from him.

“And my daughter,” Michael continued, lost in thought.

Rage filled Nikita. She was going to kill him. He had used her just like everybody else had. He just had the decency to wrap it up with tenderness and affection. Whatever consequences she might’ve faced afterwards be damned, she was going to kill Michael, “You’re married and you have a daughter.”

“No. I… I did,” Michael was quick to refute. He saw the fury in her expression, and quietly explained, “They’re gone. They were killed in a car bomb March 21st, 2001.”

Oh. Nikita moved to comfort him, apologizing for her anger, “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“Nobody knows. Only Percy, and Amanda. Now you,” His green eyes connected with her brown, the weight of that sentiment apparent. She laid a soothing hand on his bicep, as he continued, “And Kasim.”

“As in Kasim Tariq?”

“In 2001 Kasim wasn’t a famous terrorist. He was a low level snitch. And all that changed when he betrayed me. After he killed my family, he became a hero in the ranks of Al-Qaeda. That’s the reason why I joined Division in the first place. To find him,” Michael shared with Nikita. She sat still, patiently listening to his story. He grabbed her hand that wasn’t on his bicep, squeezing tight.

“And until I kill him, I can’t… I don’t think I can give you the relationship you want,” His confession was nearly silent, as though he felt guilty for thinking that way.

Nikita placed her hand on his cheek, lightly caressing his skin. Michael looked at her with distraught eyes. She moved even closer to him, speaking gently, “Hey. I will help you in any way I can.”

Michael kissed her sweetly. It wasn’t like their kisses from before. That one expressed a promise. They would work through it together. Neither one of them was alone anymore. The two of them were together as partners, and not just in spycraft. If they could survive and succeed the mission that night, then they could survive and succeed at anything. They were Michael and Nikita after all. And from that moment forward, they were inseparable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S. There is an M rated version of this story in my new one shot collection "Only Place We've Ever Had Any Fun". I'll be posting M rated stories there, because I know some people don't like to read them. But for those who do, it's there. It won't be as updated as this collection. But I might do M rated continuations of some of these stories in there.


	55. Chapter 55

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A pre-series AU. Inspired by requests on FanFiction for Sean to have saved Alex from Ronnie instead of Nikita.

He didn’t know what he was still doing there. He and his buddy had found who they were looking for, gotten him out of the crackhouse, and taken him someplace to clean up. Sean could leave the area and go make his report. But something was drawing him to walk around the block. Maybe he thought he would find more people who weren’t supposed to be there. Or maybe he just needed a moment. Finding a friend strung out like that was difficult to get over. Sean had to take a breather, walk around the block a bit. After a while, he was thinking about heading back to the car and facing the reality of the situation. That was when he heard the woman’s screams.

They were coming from the house he just passed. Instantly, he ran inside. Sean wasn’t sure what he was going to see, but it didn’t matter; the only thing that did was to help the woman. She was fighting on the bed against a couple of men. Although she was trying her hardest, it was a losing battle. The men were much stronger than her. Sean didn’t hesitate before attacking. The drug dealers were easy targets, and were either unconscious or ran away after only a minute. 

As Sean was turning to face the woman, who appeared even younger than he was, a gun went off. The bullet lodged in the doorframe above his head. He ducked regardless of the bad aim, quickly spinning to see where the shot had come from. The young woman was holding the pistol with trembling hands. She must’ve picked it up to defend herself during the fight. Carefully, Sean approached her with hands raised and voice low, “It’s okay. I’m not going to hurt you.”

She didn’t believe him; she tried to fire off the gun a second time. Sean managed to rip the weapon out of her weak grip, before she could hurt herself. He unloaded it, and tossed it aside, “I’m serious. My name is Sean Pierce, and I want to help you.”

And he did. Not just because she desperately needed help, if her visible withdrawal symptoms were of any indication. Or because he was afraid someone else might stumble in there and take advantage of her while she was in that state. But because there was something in her bright blue eyes that called to him. Despite her fear, she was staring at him with such strength and determination that he was in awe. Most people would’ve let the experience break them. She seemed to have been facing it down head on, never willing to back down.

Even as Sean extended a comforting hand to her, she regarded him with guarded trepidation. He had to prove himself to her. He had to earn her trust, “You’re probably wondering why I’m here. It’s not to score, or scam some unsuspecting girl. One of my Navy buddies was shooting up down here. My partner and I came to get him clean. I heard your screams and ran off to help you. That’s all I want to do.”

Although she sniffed, continued to tremble, and turned even paler, she scoffed. Sean didn’t take offense to her disbelief and scorn; it meant she was well enough to judge him. He could work with that. Pulling out his wallet, he showed her his military ID. He held it close enough for her to see, but not to reach. Trust went both ways, “See. Lieutenant Commander Sean Mason Pierce. I come in peace.”

She scrutinized the picture and his face for a long time. After a while, she crumbled in on herself in pain. She let out a grunt, squeezing her eyes shut. Sean moved closer to her overcome with concern. He tried to rest reassuring hands on her, but she pulled herself away sharply. That didn’t seem to help the pain. He settled for placing his hands next to her on the bed instead, “Are you alright? Do you need me to take you to the hospital?”

“No,” That was the first word she said to him and it was full of stubbornness. She wasn’t going anywhere, “No shelters either. I just need…”

“A hit,” Sean completed her sentence for her. Her enraged blue eyes met his judgmental hazel. He didn’t mean to come on so strong with his disdain. He understood that addiction was a disease, and it took time to heal from that. But the young woman appeared to have been fighting through so much already. She could at least fight that.

Frustrated, she shoved him away. She was trying to get out of the bed and walk out of the room, “I don’t need a hit. And I don’t need you.”

At least she got to her feet. But a few steps towards the door, and she stumbled in pain. Sean was there to catch her. Her skin, thought moist with sweat, was cold. She was really going to battle the withdrawal out of stubbornness and spite, all because he had made an assumption about her. He wasn’t going to admit it outloud, but he was really starting to like her, “Alright fine. But we need to get out of here.”

The men Sean had knocked unconscious were starting to stir. They needed to get out of there before trouble started. However, the young woman broke out of his hold, and glared at him, “‘We’? Don’t you have to be somewhere?”

If the phone vibrating in his pocket was any indication, yes he did have to be somewhere. But he could call them back and explain everything later. His partner was taking care of their buddy, and so would the medics. When Sean had to make his official report about what happened, how the PTSD was just too much for his friend, then he’d go back to base. But in that moment, she took precedence, “Nope. I’m taking your somewhere safe.”

“You’re not leaving me?” She was so bewildered by the idea, that she let him support her weight as they walked out of the crackhouse. Sean’s heart broke at her statement. She was probably used to everyone letting her down. The fact that a complete stranger was willing to help her seemed almost impossible to her. Sean wasn’t going to abandon her. That decision was abundantly clear to him.

“Never. You’re stuck with me forever,” He let his sentence drop off. It was a silent invitation for her to share her name with him- to trust him.

There was a slight pause before she replied softly, “Alex. My name is Alex.”


	56. Chapter 56

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set after 2x02 "Falling Ash". Inspired by drunken shenanigans.

To say Nikita and Michael were drunk would’ve been an understatement. Birkhoff was gone for the night, claiming he had to prepare some things if he was going to be working full time with the two agents. Michael and Nikita had the whole safehouse to themselves, so they broke into the nerd’s liquor cabinet. They had some rare freetime, since Shadowbot was doing the search for them, and there were things for them to celebrate. The two had a wonderful team, great successes against Division, and they were doing all of that together. It was rare for them to see the light of the situation. But with so many positives ahead of them, they could revel in it. They found a couple bottles of forgotten alcohol in the back of the shelf, and decided that Birkhoff wouldn’t miss those. The couple needed them more for their celebration anyway.

Nikita and Michael talked, ate, and drank. It was a quiet moment to themselves, and they thoroughly enjoyed it. However, it was then that they realized they had never had a proper date. Sure the couple would relax together, and they spent a lot of time together. Yet when it came to the standard dressing up and going out thing, they hadn’t done anything close; unless old Division missions counted. Going out wasn’t necessarily an option with different government agencies hunting them down. But dressing up they could definitely do.

They were tipsy when they pulled on their best clothes for one another. Immediately, they gushed all over each other for how beautiful and handsome they looked. Michael played a slow song on one of Birkhoff’s computers, pulling Nikita tight against him for a dance. Although their feet stumbled through the movements, they giggled and continued to sway. The couple kept drinking alcohol as they danced. They had drunk so much already, they might as well have kept going. Eventually, Michael and Nikita collapsed on the floor in front of the couch.

They erupted into laughter. Their tipsiness turned quickly into drunkenness. And as they sat on the floor talking and laughing, they became wasted. Music still played from the computer speaker’s and the empty alcohol bottles laid scattered around them, not that they would’ve noticed. The couple was encased in their own bubble of merriment. Michael tucked Nikita’s long, dark hair behind her ear. She rested her forehead against his, smiling brightly. As they drew closer, their noses brushed. Nikita giggled, and he gushed, “God you’re so beautiful. What’d I do to ever deserve you?”

She could only laugh in response. That was how it had been throughout the night the more they had drunk. Michael would talk at length about everything, while she laughed. Neither cared, they were just happy to be together. The night could’ve gone in any direction, and they wouldn’t have minded one bit. As long as the two of them were together, nothing else mattered. Nikita soon kissed Michael to shut him up. He kissed her back, excitedly. 

It was a struggle for her to get to her feet. Luckily, she had taken off her heels beforehand. She pulled him up with her, swaying into his hold, “Let’s go to bed.”

“Yeah, Cutey. I wanna go to bed with you and only you,” Once again, Nikita kissed Michael to silence his rambling. They tripped their way through the living room, unsure of where they were going as they kissed. Nikita’s back bumped up against something, and that was as good a stopping point as any for them. Hands flew to belts and zippers, desperate to rip off clothing. Lifting Nikita in his arms, Michael fell against the object they had stopped at. His grip on her loosened, and she landed on top of the object. She was still able to reach his lips with her’s, so they continued like nothing had happened.

Until, Nikita placed her hand down to help shift her hips. Something sharp punctured her skin, drawing blood. She quickly pulled her hand away, and broke the kiss, “Ow. What the hell?”

“What? What is it? Did I hurt you? Are you okay, Baby?” Michael raked worried green eyes over her. He had to steady himself, so he could focus on her better. Pouting, Nikita showed him the deep cut on her hand. He rushed off as fast as he could for the bandaids. She giggled at his worry, and hopped off the desk she had fallen on. 

When she turned to find what had cut her, her blood ran cold. If it were possible, she sobered up at that moment, “Oh shit. Michael.”

“I’m coming, Sweetie. I had to find where we put the first aid kit. I think you need the big bandaids, but I don’t actually know…”

“Michael, we’re fucked,” Interrupting, Nikita started to giggle. So maybe she wasn’t as sobered up as she thought. But the shock of her discovery did clear away some of the fog left by the alcohol. Michael rejoined his girlfriend, multiple bandages in hand. He almost dropped them, however, the second he saw where the glass that had cut her had come from.

They had gotten turned around in their drunken rush to bed. They bumped into Birkhoff’s desk, which was the opposite direction of their bedroom. When Michael had lifted and dropped Nikita, she had landed on a tablet the nerd liked to keep out just in case. The piece of technology was completely shattered. Birkhoff was going to kill them. Michael began to spiral, “We just got him on our team, and now he’s gonna leave because we destroyed his tech. We’re already crashing here, and stole his alcohol. This is gonna be the last straw. I mean, we can buy a new one. But not while we’re drunk. And not without him knowing.”

Michael may have been overreacting, but Nikita wasn’t going to be the first to correct him. Her mind was jumping from different points, not quite making a connection. Through quiet laughter, she suggested, “What if an animal did it?”

Surprisingly, her boyfriend actually caught onto her idea. Earlier in the night they had opened some windows to air out the safehouse. The room had smelled like their alcohol and Birkhoff’s energy drinks, and all that dancing and goofing around had made them hot. If they could lead in an animal from the forest outside, they could blame the broken tablet on that. Then, in the morning once they were sober, they’d buy Nerd a new one. It was a pretty solid plan- for two drunk people. 

“You’re beautiful, and you’re a genius. You’re the perfect person,” Sighing in relief, Michael beamed. Nikita smiled back just as brightly. Quickly, they cleaned her cut and got to work. Birkhoff already left snacks on his desk, so they just had to leave a trail of food out the window for an animal to find. Michael did that, as Nikita put away the first aid kit. 

She wasn’t gone long before she came rushing back into the living room, “Shit. We’re being recorded.”

There were hidden cameras set up in and around the safehouse as an extra layer of protection against intruders. Birkhoff could easily check the feed to see if their claim of a wandering animal was true. Telling him the truth never crossed their minds. The only thing they could think of was fixing their mistakes one giant step at a time. Nikita hurried to the nerd’s main computer, and sloppily typed some commands, “I think I can loop the feed until the animal comes in.”

Throwing pieces of bread out the window, Michael wondered, “Can you do that drunk, Honey? Birkhoff might notice.”

Nikita pulled up the security feed as she laughed, “I’ve done it before.”

“When?”

“Remember the Barcelona mission and you told Nerd and I not to get into the minibar?” Her question was broken up by giggles and her concentrating on typing.

It took him a minute, but Michael remembered the op, “Yeah. Wait. Did you guys?”

“We figured out how to get into it without tripping the sensor. We got drunk, and then we did the hack,” She sounded pretty proud of herself for a potentially dangerous decision. If she or Birkhoff failed the mission because they were drunk, they would’ve been canceled. It had been easy for her to be cavalier with her life at the time, however. She never really cared for it until recently. After selecting the clip of the video she wanted to loop, Nikita laughed, “Nerd even did a body shot off of me.”

“What?” Heading over to her, Michael finished laying the animal bait.

She had to fight through many fits of laughter to tell the story, “He said he could drink all of the stuff in the little bottles in one go, and without using his hands. I bet he could only do it on a flat surface, so I put it on my stomach. When he took the shot, I pushed my stomach up so he choked on the bottle.”

Both Michael and Nikita collapsed in giggles at the memory. A moment past before they were able to collect themselves and finish their mission. Just as Nikita finished looping the video, a raccoon started to wander into the safehouse. She placed the cameras on a delayed recording, so they could stumble back to where they were before breaking the tablet and be in position for a seamless transition between fake and real footage. The couple was so elated that their plan had worked, they didn’t think about how they were going to get the raccoon back into the forest.

They had to think on their feet once the animal got into more than just the snacks on Birkhoff’s desk. It was a miracle they weren’t scratched by the raccoon, especially when they placed it outside. Rapidly, they closed the windows and cleaned the mess they had created. Michael and Nikita were too exhausted for any more celebrating. If anything could take the fun out of being drunk, it was chasing a raccoon. They settled on a high five and a kiss while they tumbled off to bed. They didn’t change out of their date clothes before they passed out on top of one another.

Birkhoff very rudely woke them in the morning. Their heads were pounding and their mouths were dry, but the nerd was yelling up a storm. Nikita and Michael shuffled to the living room, blearily glaring, “What the fuck do you want?”

“What the hell happened here?” Birkhoff indicated the mess of a tablet and wires on his desk. Although, as he studied the couple’s hungover and half dressed up appearance, he was able to piece together some of the story, “How drunk were you guys last night?”

“No. A raccoon came in through the open window,” Nikita pointed to the wires as she explained. She was too tired to lie about the tablet, but at least she could tell the truth about the rest of the damage.

“We’ll buy new stuff,” Michael grumbled, slumping against his girlfriend’s back. She stumbled under his weight, yet somehow remained upright.

Shrugging, the nerd went to work on repairing the wiring, “Don’t worry about it. I can fix this stuff. It’s just gonna take some time. And the tablet was already busted.”

“What?”

“Yeah. I only had it out to use as scrap. Why?”

Without hesitation, Nikita took Michael’s hand and walked off, “Fuck this. I’m going back to bed.”


	57. Chapter 57

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An AU for season 1. Inspired by my rewatch of the pilot. It might be the grad student in me, but the way Nikita and Alex were set up as rivals and foils for the entire pilot only for it to twist and have them as partners is just amazing. So then I thought about what if they were rivals, and it all came to a head in 1x11 "All the Way".

She hesitated. She had been on kill missions before, that one was no different. He was very clearly a bad guy; she had to take him out. But she couldn’t. Her gun drawn and him on his knees, she couldn’t pull the trigger. Division was outside, they were going to know she faltered. She would have to face Amanda and Percy. She could have been canceled. None of that frightened her enough to execute the kill, however. It should’ve, yet it didn’t. The target was going to live, because she couldn’t kill him- not when his daughter was just downstairs. 

The mobster pleaded with her to spare him, but she had already made the decision. It was his daughter’s wedding day. She should’ve been happy and carefree; her father couldn’t die the same day. So, the assassin lowered her weapon. The mobster needed to be killed, but she would have to do it another day. She’d make certain his daughter wasn’t anywhere near the mission. No one else needed to witness the death of their father. If the agent could control anything, it’d be that- it’d always be that.

Although she decided to spare the mobster in that moment, he wasn’t going to spare her. His goons rushed into the room, grabbing her and her gun. Shots rang, and so did the screams of wedding guests downstairs. She could hear through her earpiece that Division was going to swarm the area. Everything was quickly spiraling out of control. The agent got free of the goons’ hold, but the mobster was gone. There goes trying to save his daughter the pain of losing her father on the happiest day of her life. 

Just as the assassin was fighting the goons and trying to make her escape, another complication burst through the doors. Nikita. The two had faced one another on missions before. Nikita always managed to one up her, but she wouldn’t let that happen again. She needed the win after the many mistakes she had made that mission. If she brought Division their rogue, they wouldn’t care about the mobster. She’d be a hero.

However, Nikita wasn’t attempting to harm the agent; she was helping her. They fought well together, much to her chagrin. They fed off of one another’s moves, and made up for the other’s weaknesses. The goons were no match against the two of them working together. The women flipped the last man onto a table, knocking him unconscious. Nikita figured that was a job well done, and went to run off just as rapidly as she had arrived. She stopped her.

“Look. I get it. You’re the star pupil. But not this time, Alex,” Nikita pushed her off with an eye roll, “I’ve got work to do.”

Alex reached for her again. She was more successful in her hold that time, “You’ve already stopped the mission, Nikita. Congratulations.”

“I don’t want to stop anything. I want to take down all of the mobsters, including the ones who hired Division,” Nikita slipped away with a harsh blow, and went towards the exit.

“On his daughter’s wedding day?” She didn’t know why she asked her that while she grabbed at her once more. But the words slipped out anyway. 

“I didn’t stop you. You hesitated,” They were sparring then. Each blow was parried and dodged. They were striking to maim, not so much to kill. Nikita had never made the move to kill her. She never made the move to kill any Division agent. She’d defend herself or another person, and sometimes that resulted in death. The rogue never went in with the intention to kill. Alex couldn’t wrap her head around it. She also couldn’t wrap her head around the fact that she wouldn’t kill Nikita when she had the chance. Maybe it was because she had helped her, instead of leaving her to the goons. She could only think of two people in Division that would’ve done that for her. 

“My gun jammed,” Alex relied on the lie she had planned on telling Percy. 

Nikita scoffed, “Yeah. I’ve used that excuse before. If you’re gun jammed, then explain the bullet holes in the door.”

“That was the muscle’s,” Her voice was pitchy as she defended herself. Nikita took a couple steps back and laughed. Irritated, Alex lunged at her. She easily dodged the attack, shoving her against the wall.

When Alex pouted, Nikita shook her head, “How old are you? Are you still a teenager? Like eighteen or nineteen?”

“What’s it matter?” The young agent tried to push against the rogue, but failed. A frustrated huff expelled out of her chest.

“Nothing. Just Division likes ‘em barely legal. Makes it easier to whore ‘em out. That has happened to you already, right?” Nikita’s voice was so full of acid and hatred, Alex had to blink. She knew Division was her sole enemy, but seeing the amount of hatred she held for the place was something else. It was kind of scary to see all of that fury at the surface. She knew then what made Nikita so formidable.

Although she made another shove at the rouge, the fight was slipping out of Alex, “So what if they have. I’ve been through worse.”

Surprisingly, Nikita let her go. Also surprisingly, she didn’t attack. The two women studied each other, unsure of their next move. Alex knew she had to take her in. However, the rage she had displayed stilled her. She could understand it. All of the things Nikita had done against Division was starting to make sense. The rogue wanted revenge against those that had used and abused her. If anyone knew what that was like, it would’ve been Alex. Nikita moved closer to her, yet not to strike. She was studying her, “That expression. Where do I know that expression from?”

Before Alex could question just what the hell she was talking about, Nikita gasped, “I recognize you now. There’s no way. Do they know? No if they knew you’d be dead. Wait, do you know?”

“Know what?” The agent stepped away from the scrutinizing gaze.

“That Division killed your family, Alexandra Udinov,” Alex’s blood ran ice cold. Nobody knew who she really was. Nobody had known who she really was for six years. She didn’t tell a soul her real name or where she really came from. All Division knew was that she ran away from human traffickers and bought a fake ID at fourteen. And that was all they were going to know. If anyone knew her identity, she’d be dead. Whoever killed her family that night, would’ve come back to finish the job. However, according to Nikita, she had found whoever that was and she was working for them.

“I was there that night. Your father’s enemies hired Division to kill your whole family. But I saved you. I brought you to your driver,” Nikita continued to explain as Alex stared at her in shock, “Do you remember?”

She nodded slightly. She did vaguely remember a woman carrying her out of the house and putting her into a car. Thinking hard enough, she could easily picture Nikita as that woman. But a part of Alex had to wonder if the rogue was manipulating her. She could’ve been messing with her to sway her to her side of the fight. Alex swallowed down the lump in her throat, “How do I know you’re not lying?”

“Have I ever been painted as a liar?” She hadn’t been. Of all the terrible things Percy and Amanda had said about Nikita, a liar was never one of them. Alex wasn’t given a long time to process the information, however. Division agents were coming up the stairs, shouting that they had found and trapped Nikita. The young agent looked at her in a panic. If they caught her talking to the rogue, they’d think she was the mole.

Nikita came up with the solution easily. She picked up a gun from the floor, and gently placed it in Alex’s hand, “Take me in. They’ll be so distracted with me, you can get information about the hit on your family. The operation's name was Pale Fire.”

“Why? Why are you helping me? Why are you giving yourself up?”

“I’ve got a way out, don’t worry. And you deserve the truth about your family. Division owes you that after everything they put you through. Now. Hit me and make it look good,” The second the strike team burst through the door, Alex pistol whipped Nikita. She kicked her a few times in the gut for added measure. Thom pulled her off, whispering in her ear that it was alright. Michael hobbled over to Nikita with a wounded leg. He angrily glanced between the rogue on the ground and Alex. For a second, Alex thought the anger was directed at Nikita. She had been terrorizing him and the place he worked after all. 

But, the young assassin soon realized Michael’s brief flash of anger was meant for her. He carefully crouched over Nikita as best he could. The rogue's eyes met his, and she gave an almost undetected nod. When Michael gave the order to bring her in, she was zapped unconscious. Alex watched as her handler’s face flinched in pain and grief. She wouldn’t have noticed it if she hadn’t been studying their every move. She had never seen the two interact out in the field. She heard them talk about one another with slight annoyance. However, at that moment she noticed it was an act. They cared for one another. Nikita said she wasn’t a liar, and she had a way out of Division- could that way have been Michael.

Alex pushed the thought out of her mind. She had other things to contemplate. Nikita was right when they had gotten back to Division; they were too concerned with the rogue to notice her. Alex was able to tell her lie about what happened in the debriefing without any scrutinizing. Since they had Nikita, nothing else mattered. While they were busy interrogating her, Alex was free to roam around. She needed to find information on operation Pale Fire. She wasn’t quite sure how she was going to do that, however. It wasn’t like she could break into Percy’s or Amanda’s office. Even if they were empty at the moment, she could get caught. And caught always meant killed.

Hacking Division crossed her mind, but Birkhoff would know and rat her out. The young assassin was running out of ideas, when she wandered past medical. Michael was being patched up for a bullet wound, and was talking quietly and harshly with Birkhoff. Neither noticed her. Seeing the two of them out of ops, gave her an idea. Their computers would be empty. She could hop onto one of them and search for Pale Fire. If anyone asked her, she’d tell them Michael told her too. If her thoughts about him being the mole were correct, he’d cover for her. If she was wrong, well she couldn’t afford to be wrong.

The file on Pale Fire on Michael’s computer was heavily redacted. She wished the file said who had ordered the hit, but she was never that lucky. All that was visible were the targets’ names and the agents’ names. Sure enough, there was her family listed as the targets of the kill mission. Nikita’s name was listed with the agents, but Alex wasn’t focused on that. Division had killed her family. Somebody hired the black ops unit to come into their home and kill them while they were sleeping. Division taking guns for hire jobs wasn’t news to her. She was aware that there was some corruption in the unit. Yet she didn’t think they would stoop so low as to kill an entire family.

She hardly noticed the explosion when it happened. Alex had been walking around Division, trying to get some air in the basement. Her mind was reeling. She was killing for the very organization that had tried to kill her. Had it not been for Nikita, they would have succeeded. As explosions rocked the place, and made the lights flicker, Alex was brought out of her dark thoughts. Instantly, she knew it was Nikita making her escape. She didn’t care. Let her go. Let Division burn in her wake.

The young agent had wandered into a part of the basement she didn’t recognize. There was a large air grate attached to the wall with a security badge sticking out of it. Curious, Alex grabbed it. As she did, a gun was cocked behind her, “Drop it.”

Alex whipped around to see Thom pointing his weapon at her. Her hands flew up in the air, “I found it in the grate. I think someone stole it.”

Thom didn’t believe her. He forced her against the wall and patted her down for a weapon. Although she complied, she argued, “Nikita’s mole must’ve stashed it there after stealing the C4 to set the explosion.”

“Don’t lie to me, Alex.”

“I’m not,” She kept her thoughts about Michael being the mole to herself. Her handler had protected her so many times against Amanda and Percy. She owed him the secret. Besides, she had stopped giving a shit about the security of Division. If Nikita and Michael were so hell bent on destroying the place, then let them. The black ops unit had only put evil out in the world. She was more aware of that then than ever.

Another explosion allowed her to break free of Thom’s hold. His gun tumbled to the ground while they fought. He was stronger and more trained than she was. He had the upper hand. Until they both decided to wrestle for the gun. What happened was an accident. He tried to rip the weapon out of her grasp, and the trigger was pulled. Alex crawled out from under Thom’s slumped body. He was bleeding heavily from the chest, the light leaving his eyes. She gently ran her fingers through his hair, crying softly, “No. No. Thom… I didn’t mean to… Don’t go.”

Thom went anyway. Alex was so wrapped up in grief, she didn’t notice Nikita running down the hall. The rogue stopped at the two agents, and read the situation with sympathetic eyes, “Alex. I’m so sorry. But they’re going to be looking for my mole. They’re gonna think it’s you.”

“I can’t leave him,” She whispered. He had been so kind to her. He helped her in Division when no one else would. And she repaid him by killing him.

“I know. I know. But if you want to live…”

“I can take care of it,” Alex interrupted Nikita. She looked up at her, fire blazing in her blue eyes, “I hesitated because I didn’t want his daughter losing her family. I don’t want anyone else losing their family to Division. I want in.”

That was the most serious Alex had ever been. Division killed her family, so she was going to destroy the unit. It was that simple. The fact that she was working with Nikita and Michael, two people who helped her despite everything, was an added bonus. Nikita regarded Alex for a moment. Seeing for herself how determined the young woman was, she nodded, “Okay. Talk to Michael. Tell him I said ‘here we go’.”

“What?” But Nikita was already climbing into the air grate and disappearing. Alex paused a moment, letting her decision weigh down on her; it wasn’t as heavy as she had thought. Apologizing to Thom’s lifeless body, she slipped the key card she had found into his pocket. His death would be easier explained if he was suspected as the mole. She and Michael would be in the clear as well. The guilt she felt was soon replaced with purpose. She’d avenge Thom and her family, when she burned Division to the ground.


	58. Chapter 58

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An AU that starts in season 3 and moves forward. Inspired by conversations with justsoadorkable4 on Fanfiction about Team Nikita having to hide from the big bads and their kids taking up the fight.

“Jamie, can you hold my hair back?” Despite her team fuming at her, Pj Mears-Bishop flashed an innocent smile that sparkled her deep green eyes. James Pierce was powerless to resist her. He did as she asked (with a slight roll of his hazel eyes), gently taking hold of her dark hair. She threw a wink at her team, which only infuriated them more, before sticking her fingers down her throat. 

“Oh okay. We’re doing this now,” Kara Pierce covered her piercing blue eyes, her long blonde hair aiding in covering her sight. Pj ignored her as she forcibly vomited into the trash. The electronic chip she had swallowed came up with the bile, clanking in the can. Although he turned away at the vomit, James continued to hold her hair and even rubbed her back a little as she heaved. The others were glaring in disgust and anger.

Pj was very good at pretending none of them were there. She wiped her fingers and her mouth on her tee shirt, then whipped off the stained fabric to reveal bruised bronze skin. She was able to toss the tee without a glance into Max Ovechkin’s face. He caught it skillfully, fed up with his sister’s bullshit, “Do I even need to get into it?”

“I don’t know Maxi-Pad. That’s up to you,” Shrugging, Pj reached into the trash can. She pulled out the chip, delicately pinched between two fingers, “Now if you’ll excuse me. I need to clean this before I give it to Nerdette.”

“Thank you,” Felicity Birkhoff chimed in from her hacker station. She pushed her glasses back on her tanned nose, after having taken them off so she wouldn’t see the vomit. She hadn’t been out in the field with the others. Her role as the superior tech expert kept her safely inside the safehouse, while the team was out kicking ass. Because of that, she wasn’t quite sure what made them so angry at Pj. Felicity had only heard snippets over the coms. Pj swallowed the evidence to keep it safe. As far as the hacker was concerned, she hadn’t necessarily done anything wrong.

Pj smiled adoringly at Felicity. Rapidly, she turned to Max with a pointed glare. He huffed and rolled his eyes. Kara, who had recovered from her shock over Pj’s action, stopped her from leaving the room, “Seriously, Pj. We have to talk about this.”

“Why? We got what we needed. We saved the day. And we’re not an actual unit, so there’s no need to debrief,” Her movements to leave Kara’s hold were quick and effortless. It was a brief showcase of what she could do out in the field. Pj was, in a word, dangerous. She was lightning fast in both action and thought. She could strategize with the best of them, as well as improvise. Her stint with the electronic chip was a stroke of genius, which not only saved the op but also the team. It wasn’t a rare occurrence for Pj. However, the other events of the mission were completely off book and unprecedented. No one was happy with it, except for maybe her.

Oliver Pierce was losing his patience. Unlike his sister, he wasn’t going to play nice. His dark blue eyes alight with irritation, he marched over to Pj and grabbed her roughly by the arm, “Will you stop it for one damn second.”

James stepped towards his brother, slightly afraid of what Pj would do in retaliation. Instead of fighting him off like she had Kara, she slammed the puke covered chip into his chest and cleaned her fingers on his shirt, “Okay. You can clean it Ollie.”

He cursed as he let her go. Pj laughed lightly, moving away from the group and towards Felicity and the computers. She’d need support for when things turned ugly, which they were about to. She was aware of how much they hated what she had done. Her team had a grossly righteous moral compass. They had to operate strictly in the gray. Yes what they did was illegal at times, but it was for the right reasons. And they never went into the black. Pj did that mission without any regrets. If they were going to complete their goal, there were some boundaries they had to push. 

Eyes turned to James. He had always been the one to get through to her in the past. Running a hand through his chestnut hair, he thought of the best words to say, “The chip idea was smart. You’re a great leader out in the field. It’s just. And no one’s blaming you. But what you did to those men…”

“Was the right course of action,” Fire burning in her green eyes, Pj interrupted. She crossed her arms tightly, regardless of the stinging bruises, and lifted her chin in haughty defiance. It was easy to forget how young she was. After what had happened ten years prior, she had to grow up fast. But it was in moments like that, that her true age shone. 

As did Felicity’s, as she studied Pj with curious and worried brown eyes and asked in a small voice, “What did you do?”

“The one thing we swore we wouldn’t,” Although his inflection was full of acid, Oliver was softer towards Felicity- like he always was.

The laugh that erupted out of Pj was drastically more bitter than her previous one. It frightened her team, “So when Kara shoots someone it’s okay.”

“It was to save my life,” Max neared his stubborn sister. Holding securely to his hand, Kara pulled him back. She shook her head slightly. Maybe they just needed to let Pj rant it out for a second. She’d calm down and then they could talk some sense into her. Hesitantly, Max relented. Kara was usually right about those sorts of things.

“Alright. I’ll give you that. And I’ll give you that no one yelled at me when I stabbed the… the man who touched me,” Pj fell silent at the memory. They all did. The team had seen some dark things on their missions. Neither their bodies, not their minds had ever really come out without scarring. She pushed forward with her point, straightening her shoulders, “But when I kill a bunch of Shop goons, who would love to see the world burn, suddenly I’m the bad guy.”

“You’re not the bad guy, Piper,” Despite Oliver nodding in agreement to Pj’s statement, James was gentle. She eased at his words, relaxing as he approached her.

Max, however, had to dig it in. Maybe it was a brother thing, or an oldest thing. Either way, he snapped, “But is it really what our parents would’ve done?”

Kara was the first to react. She let go of Max’s hand, giving him one of her best glares. Felicity gasped, and backed her chair safely away from Pj. Oliver clamped his mouth shut, knowing he couldn’t say anything worse than that. And James laid soothing hands on Pj while attempting to keep her still. She ignored all of them; her sights were on her brother. Just like lightning, her furious fist connected with his jaw and he collapsed. No one went to help him.

“They would’ve done it without a second thought. But it doesn’t even matter. They’re not fucking here!” She was right. Their parents weren’t there. They had no idea where they were. As far as the group was concerned, their parents were long gone and never coming back. 

Twenty-three years before then, the Dirty Thirty New Division had been chasing teamed up with the Shop. The two evil forces raided the black ops unit, destroying them and forcing them to scatter. Their parents hid out together, working in the shadows to save the world. However, things went south fast about ten years prior to the kids’ current situation. The parents scattered, leaving their children behind with Ryan Fletcher and Owen Elliot to keep them safe.

The Pierce triplets were thirteen at the time. Felicity was twelve. And Pj was nine. Ryan helped raise them, teaching them how to make the world a better place. Owen, on the other hand, taught them to fight and to survive. Max had been in hiding with his mother during all of that drama, but when he turned eighteen she told him everything about his parents' slice of the spy life. She went to help his father, hoping he would take her words as caution and stay out of it. Instead, he ran off to help them save the world.

When the kids all became adults (more or less), Ryan and Owen’s presence in their lives lessened. The men were still around to assist them, but they had gone off on their own missions more frequently. The group of the then twenty-somethings, and one teenager, decided they weren’t going to continue shying away from the fight. They were going to end it once and for all; they were going to bring their families back together.

That was two years ago. Two years of fighting and missions that were getting them nowhere. Frustration was high, and patience was wearing thin. The electronic chip they had recovered was their first solid lead in taking down the big bads in months. The team should have been celebrating, instead they were arguing. Pj stood over Max for a moment, her breath coming in angry huffs. She made up her mind over the situation suddenly, and stepped on his stomach as she stormed off.

“Pj. Please. We really should talk,” Kara called gently after her. 

Pj turned to face her team. Max was getting to his feet, seemingly apologetic for his harsh words to his sister. Felicity had gotten out of her chair, and took openminded steps towards her. Oliver finally softened his gaze, a slight smile on his full lips. And James’ hazel eyes held onto her green, wishing she would simply hear them out. Pj scoffed at all of them, while she went out the door, “Talk amongst yourselves. I’m done.”

Possibly going rogue from her team, she did what any Mears-Bishop did best. It was going to be a whole other mission to get her back.


	59. Chapter 59

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set between season 2 and 3. Inspired by a silly idea I had.

“Guess what I found out today,” Nikita burst through the door of their safehouse, shopping bags and a box in hand. She was practically giddy with excitement over her news, but no one else in the room seemed to care. They were exhausted from various clean-up duties, and simply wanted to rest for the remainder of the day. It didn’t help that they all still resided in the same safehouse. Sometimes their break needed to be from one another. 

Perched on the arm of the couch, half reclined against the cushion and half resting on Sean’s strong shoulders, Alex didn’t even glance up from her cellphone, “That you can make an entrance.”

“Oh. I’ve known that,” She threw a wink at Michael who had moved to follow her trek into the kitchen. The shopping bags she had brought in were filled with party supplies. There were streamers, hats, candles, and little party favors. She threw those onto the counter, more focused on the prettily decorated box. Michael noticed that it was from a fairly pricey bakery in the city. Considering how sparse they liked to keep their fridge, Nikita was able to easily fit the sizable bakery item inside.

However, before Michael can snark about Nikita’s purchases, Birkhoff quipped from his computer alcove, “A separate place for you to live.”

“Trust us, we’re working on it,” Michael grumbled. He and Nikita definitely needed their own place to live. The couple needed some much needed privacy. Their friends may have complained everytime they walked in on them, but they weren’t the ones having a private moment ruined.

Nikita rolled her brown eyes. She fished out a bright streamer from one of the bags, throwing it across the room at the nerd. It hit him square in the nose, the light paper breezing in the air. Completely satisfied with herself, she smirked, “Clean up, Nerd. We’re having a party.”

“We are?” That got Alex’s attention. She untangled her legs from Sean’s arms, and joined her friends in the kitchen. Excitement was alight in her bright blue eyes as she scanned the contents spilled across the counter top. She picked up one of the party noisemakers, blowing into it joyfully, “What’s it for?”

Her only reply was a shiteating grin. Nikita grabbed one of the paper hats, and sauntered over to Ryan who had been peacefully reading a book. Like lightning, she slipped the hat over his head and snapped the string against his bristly cheek. Ryan was quick to retaliate, swatting at her hands as she laughed. Nikita nimbly leaped out of his way, luring him into the same room as the others, “It’s somebody’s birthday.”

“Did you talk to my mom again?” Ryan’s question was drowned out by a chorus of ‘happy birthdays’. He really didn’t like the fact that Nikita was in close contact with his mother. Not that he wasn’t glad that his mom had made a friend in Nikita, it was just that the relationship gave her too much power over him. She could get his mother to tell her anything. The fact frightened him. It didn’t help that Nikita seemingly read his thoughts and winked. 

“Sweet. Cake and ice cream,” Sean eventually got off of the couch.

“Of course you’d think with your stomach,” Alex puffed the noisemaker at Sean. He got her back by popping a popper in her face. She didn’t flinch at the confetti and smoke, but the nerd who had walked up behind her did. Birkhoff ripped the party toys out of their hands and tossed them on the floor.

When Sean and Alex shot him a look, he shrugged, “Don’t get trash and germs on the food. We all have to eat it.”

“That’s right. All of us together,” Nikita looked around the room with a smile. Her family was all together, happy and healthy. They even had the addition of Sonya. The world was saved, the evil defeated; they could have their happily ever afters (after Division clean up of course). The agents deserved to have a simple birthday party. Starting to pass out the paper hats, Nikita continued, “But not Owen. Has anyone heard from him? My calls keep getting dropped to voicemail.”

“We haven’t found him either,” Sonya chimed in, gladly taking a hat to place on her head.

“Maybe he decided to really join Gogol after all,” It was under his breath, but Michael still said his thoughts out loud. Nikita elbowed him sharply in the ribs instead of giving him a hat. He had no problem with that.

Birkhoff moved to the fridge, not so interested in the topic change, “Doesn’t matter now. Just leaves more food for us.”

Alex smacked the nerd for everyone. He backed away from the fridge with a wince. While the group laughed at his misfortune, Nikita rolled her eyes again. She picked up a shopping bag she had hidden behind the counter on the ground, slowly pulling out the surprise inside, “Sorry Sean. I didn’t get ice cream. But. I got something we can make appetizers with. And, it’s perfect for Ryan to have for his long nights locked in his office.”

Ryan responded to her quip with a glare. She ignored it, and plopped his gift on the counter. It was an Easy Bake Oven. Her team immediately burst into laughter. Except for Sonya. She studied the toy with curious brown eyes, “What’s an Easy Bake Oven?”

“It’s a toy that cooks food with a lightbulb,” Between fits of laughter, Ryan explained.

“That doesn’t sound safe,” Sonya regarded the oven in trepidation. She knew enough about electronics to know that cooking with a lightbulb was a terrible idea, especially for a children’s toy. The amount of fires that thing could’ve started must’ve been outrageous.

“It’s not like it’s the most dangerous thing in this room,” Michael shrugged.

As she ripped open the box, Alex was absolutely beaming. She had always wanted an Easy Bake Oven, despite her father’s protests. It seemed like her early twenties was as good a time as any to start living her childhood wishes, “My papa used to say they were dangerous whenever I begged him for one. That, and it’s too American.”

“Could you sound anymore Russian?” Sean nudged the young woman. She stopped tearing out the toy and accessories to glare at him. In her most threatening voice, Alex said the dirtiest insult she knew in Russian. The comment flew over most of the room’s heads, yet Micheal and Nikita were holding back giggles. Sensing the intent behind her words, Sean cleared his throat and picked up the purple tray grabber, “You know. I used to hide this from my sisters when they didn’t share their treats with me. They’d then beat the location out of me.”

Reading over the instructions of how to use his new present, Ryan shuddered, “And I thought brothers were bad.”

“They’re just stinky and gross,” Nikita emphasized her point by popping another popper at Birkhoff.

Again, he flinched and glared, “Yeah. Sisters are the worst.”

Before the two of them could get into an all out war, that would quickly result with Nikita as the bragging winner and Birkhoff the sore loser, Michael went for a topic change, “The worst fit Hayley ever threw was over an Easy Bake Oven. We wouldn’t let her get one because she was too young, and she just went into a complete meltdown. I think the most embarrassing moment of my life was carrying a screaming toddler out of the store.”

The team chuckled softly. They knew how much it took for Michael to share a story of his late wife and daughter. But he trusted them all enough to tell it. Nikita glanced up at him with a wistful smile. He shared the look, yet his green eyes sparkled with laughter at the memory. Reaching up on her tiptoes, she placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. He held onto her hand and gave it a squeeze.

Nikita picked up the packet of cookie dough they weren’t using, and held it up as though she were making a toast, “To Hayley then. For giving her dad hell.”

“To Hayley,” Each member of the group reached for something to hold up as well. Michael blinked back some tears. He placed a loving kiss on Nikita’s head, wrapping his arm tightly around her. She fell into the hold willingly.

The tender moment didn’t last long, however. Alex and Birkhoff started to shove as many of the baking trays in the toy oven as possible. Ryan was quick to stop them, “Whoa, whoa. You can only cook two at a time. You’re gonna start a fire.”

“Oh please be careful,” Sonya voiced her concern as she took a step back.

“We can only cook two at a time for twenty minuets. There has to be a faster way to do this,” Nerd grumbled, snatching at the owner’s manual. If anyone could find some way to enhance a piece of tech, it’d be him. Even if it was a toy.

Setting a timer on his watch, Sean smirked, “Why don’t you just set the tray directly on a lightbulb?”

“That might work,” Alex began to say; she was seriously considering the idea.

However, Nikita shut that down almost immediately, “No, don’t. I did that once and it was awful. You know that scar right here?”

She pointed to a spot on her hairline. Yet when she couldn’t feel the old scar she was puzzled. Michael moved her hand towards her ear, having felt the wound many times while pushing her hair back, “It’s down here.”

“Oh. Thanks, Babe. Anyway. I got this scar from doing that after I was told I’d never get an Easy Bake Oven,” Nikita revealed a rare story from her childhood.

“Did it somehow cause an explosion,” Sonya really wasn’t a fan of the lightbulb oven.

“No. Just a fire. I put it out. But Gary thought he should shove my head into a wall anyway,” Although she said it as though it was nothing, like she had simply told them what she had for breakfast that morning, the room fell silent.

Alex’s bubble of laughter soon broke it up. She shook her head, trying to control her giggles, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. It’s not funny. But the way you talk about your foster dad is so hysterical. Like, ‘yeah the weather is nice outside, also I was violently thrown down the stairs once’. What the hell, Nik?”

With a shrug, Nikita laughed as well, “Coping with humor is way better than what Amanda taught us.”

Her comment substantially lightened the mood. The team continued to laugh and poke fun at one another, as they waited for their treats in the toy oven. Sonya eventually moved past her fear of the lightbulb catching fire, but only after everyone told Birkhoff not to modify it. Their appetizer treats weren’t as delicious as they were hoping for. Luckily, they had a bakery cake to devour. Attention shifted to truly embarrass Ryan on his birthday, including throwing the different party supplies at him. He was a good sport about it, until Michael and Birkhoff gave him grief for his growing beard. It was a fun birthday party. They’d definitely try to have more in the future.


	60. Chapter 60

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set between 1x17 "Covenants" and 1x18 "Into the Dark." Inspired by a cute Mikita idea I had.

They couldn’t get enough of each other. It was almost as though they were trying to make up for years of not touching, not kissing, not breathing the same air. Every second they spent together was spent in each other’s arms. Their hands and lips would roam the new bodies they could explore. It wasn’t anything like they had dreamed; it was so much better. Their taste, their feel, just them. They would never tire of being together. It was a drug they were so hopelessly hooked on, one they wished to never get clean of. The two of them were lost in one another, and they wouldn’t have it any other way.

Eventually, however, they would have to part. He had a job to do, and so did she. They were completely different jobs, with completely different sets of goals. But they were jobs nonetheless. And at the end of the day, they would crash into one another once more. There were plenty of years to make up for, but they were oh so willing to try. Even when their opposing missions left them strained, a tender kiss or gentle caress would resolve everything. The couple had overcome enough already, they could get past a little disagreement. Because that was what it was then, little. There was no more need for harsh words and flying bullets. They were finally on the same side, together. So any disagreement was only little, because they could work through it as one.

After another steamy shower with greedy hands and lips, the couple relaxed on the bed. They had thrown on minimal comfortable clothing, ready to sleep or simply hold one another while they dozed. Instead, he scooped her up in his arms as they sat and laid adoring butterfly kisses to the back of her neck. She giggled at the feeling, squirming in his lap. He chuckled in return, his breath warm and soothing against her olive skin. It didn’t take her long to break free of his hold, and scoot further down the twin bed. He moved after her, but she reached under the bedframe for something.

She came up holding a hairbrush like a weapon. A playful smirk was on her lips, “Don’t make me use this.”

“Oh I’m terrified,” He raised his hands, his grin echoing hers. Happiness flowed so easily between them. Smiles were effortless and laughter bloomed at any given opportunity. They were absolutely overjoyed with one another. Neither could remember the last time they had felt that free. It was like they were floating in heaven, and there was no coming down. Not when their eyes shone like that as they looked at one another.

Keeping a halfhearted weary eye on him, she began to brush her hair; she hadn’t gotten to it yet since getting out of the shower. He stilled her hand, gently taking the brush from her hand. She glanced at him in confusion, but he reassured her with a kiss. He guided her back to his lap, her back to him. It was in slow, soothing strokes that he started to brush her long dark hair for her. Even when he encountered a knot, he was still soft. She laughed, “I think my head can take more than that, Michael.”

Michael laughed along with her. He shifted into a more comfortable position against the pillows of the bed, and placed a kiss to her shoulder. She melted at the affection. Leaning forward to whisper in her ear, he gave her another kiss on the cheek, “I know, Nikita. I’m just trying to be relaxing.”

“Be relaxing and do my hair then,” Nikita dared, tilting her head back so her brown eyes connected with his green. They shared a few more kisses before she righted herself and he continued to brush her hair. When it was smooth and knot free, Michael sat up as straight as he could to see the top of her head. He hadn’t fixed anyone’s hair in a long while, not since Hayley and Elizabeth. He hadn’t really thought he would want to play with someone’s hair since. But his fingers still remembered the simple movements of a french braid. And the idea of doing Nikita’s hair seemed to put him at ease.

Nikita hummed, her eyes slipping closed. She could feel her hair being pulled into a loose braid, and flashed a small grin. An image of a younger Michael learning to fix his little girl’s hair flashed into her mind. He probably put as much thought and action into the simple gesture as he did everything- it had to have been perfect for his daughter. She could imagine his face of intense concentration while his toddler babbled and wiggled happily in his lap. A wave of butterflies erupted in Nikita’s stomach the more she thought about Michael and kids. She swallowed hard.

As Michael braided, he could feel scars that had been hidden by her hair. Division had always been excellent with stitching up wounds and applying balms so that no scar tissue would be left visible. But Nikita wasn’t always in Division. A previous night Michael had kissed and traced a map of the different scars along her body. He could make out some fading ones from her current crusade, and some barely there ones he figured were from keeping her skills sharp during her three year absence. However, there were deep scars that seemed to be from a lifetime ago. They were easily hidden by clothing, one nasty looking one was even partially hidden by a tattoo. He never had the chance to ask her about them. Before he could open his mouth, she mumbled that he should’ve already known.

And Michael did know. Finding a scar along her hairline above her ear and another at her crown, he was aware of where she had gotten them. He knew she had never busted her scalp open in Division. And if she had afterwards, she would’ve definitely made a quip about it. No, those scars were older and more harsh. They made his blood boil. He was glad that the rat bastard of her foster father was dead. He was just sorry that he hadn’t done the job himself.

When Michael finished the braid, Nikita turned in his arms. She noticed his expression of disdain, and soothed it with her palm on his cheek and a kiss. She knew what he was thinking. They always knew what the other was thinking. She had also felt him tracing the scars on her head. She didn’t have many from her childhood, yet the ones that had stayed remained rough and prominent. It was like an ugly reminder of where she had come from. In some kind of morose luck, Gary had the good sense to make sure the wounds were easy to hide. If she didn’t want to stare at them anymore, she could slip on a tank top or a pair of shorts and be done with it.

Kissing Michael, however, wiped those thoughts from her mind. How could she have been upset when she was with him. He felt the same as her, placing his hands securely on her waist. He pulled her down on the bed with him, and deepened their kiss. Her hands slipped through the locks of his dark hair, twirling them in her fingers. They kissed tenderly and passionately all at once. It was an affection filled with love and need.

A long moment past, before Michael broke the kiss. His words were a painted breath against her lips, “I have a question I keep forgetting to ask.”

“What,” She breathed more than replied, kissing him once more.

The sensation distracted him for a second, but he slowly fought through it, “It’s about Alex.”

“You’re thinking about other women while you’re kissing me?” Although her tone was serious, Nikita was fighting back a laugh. Especially when Michael shot upright, bringing her with him, denying her claim vehemently.

“No, no. I was thinking of how I got here. With you. How we got together. And it was because I knew Alex was the mole,” He was rambling, attempting to defend himself. Nikita couldn’t hold it any longer and laughed. Michael scoffed in disbelief, “You’re messing with me aren’t you?”

“Absolutely,” She rubbed the fact in his face. To retaliate, he yanked her closer against him. Her squeal of giggles was covered by his lips against hers. Their arms encircled on another tightly while they kissed. Eventually Nikita parted, resting her forehead against his, “Now. What was your question?”

She wasn’t playing fair with him. Michael chuckled, “How did you get Alex to be your mole. I mean. You must’ve been working together for a while. At least as long as her first kill mission.”

“Right. Yeah we were,” Nikita moved away from him. She sat next to him on the bed, tearing her eyes away from his. She honestly hadn’t expected that question.

“So what? You planted Alex in Division?” Michael guessed. He attempted to read her expression, but she kept herself hidden away from him.

Nikita took a settling breath as she answered, “Yeah. We worked together on the outside for a year. It wasn’t working, so she suggested she became a mole. That’s when I put her in your way.”

Michael thought over the information, not entirely satisfied. He had even more questions then. He needed the full story, “Okay. I understand your motive. And mine. But what’s Alex’s?”

There was a long pause. Nikita glanced at Michael unsure. She trusted him with her life, but she didn’t know about Alex’s. He was working with them, he was on their side against Division. And he had protected Alex before, as his recruit and his agent. Michael wasn’t going to hurt Alex- ever. As if to emphasize that, he took Nikita’s hand in his and squeezed it reassuringly. She focused on the intertwined fingers while she slowly spoke. She told him of saving Alex more times than she would’ve liked, first from Division and then from drugs. She had offered her a way out, instead she stubbornly chose the path of revenge. And that was where they were, an unstoppable team against the world.

“You saved Alexandra Udinov,” After taking a moment to process her story, Michael stated in awe. Nikita understood the meaning behind his amazement. She went against Division, she saved an innocent, she saved a child. He rushed to scoop her up in his arms and kissed her as thoroughly as he could. When they separated she was in a daze, but his words snapped her back to reality, “God, I love you.”

She had always known that. Deep down she had always known Michael loved her. But hearing it said out loud made her so unbelievably happy, she almost burst. Nikita smiled brilliantly, kissing him just as fiercely, “I love you too.”

Her braid came undone as they expressed their love for one another under the covers. But they didn’t care. Who could care about something so trivial about that when there were declarations of love in the air to fill them with warmth and joy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading. I can't express how much that means to me. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you again. :)


	61. Chapter 61

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set sometime in season 2. Inspired by what my dumbass did today, and kind of by that one Leverage episode.

“That was a fast run,” Alex caught Nikita sneaking back into the safehouse. The young woman had been taking stock of their weapons and equipment when the agent had silently slipped through the beach side door. She thought she had a clear shot to the bathroom; she could’ve bolted inside without anyone noticing. She hadn’t taken into account that Alex would’ve been restless, and needed to at least do something while they waited on a lead against Division.

“Oh, you know. It’s hotter than I thought outside,” Nikita sidestepped towards her destination, careful to hide her feet from view.

“Yeah. The sun’s brutal against the ocean and sand,” Returning to the gun she was cleaning (was that nail polish on the handle), Alex agreed. She heard Nikita sigh in relief before quick feet slapped against the floor. To her trained ear, it sounded as though she had been barefoot. Before Alex could see if that were true or not, Nikita slammed the door to the bathroom. The young woman’s curiosity piqued, and she followed after her friend, “You alright in there?”

There was a subtle curse from the other side of the locked door, “Great. Just doing bathroom stuff. But, um. Out of curiosity. Where’s the peroxide we usually keep in here?”

Alex smirked, biting back a laugh. She was right; Nikita was barefoot. The agent had run along the beach without shoes on before. Although there was a lot of debris and sharp shells, she claimed she liked the feel of the sand between her toes. Her actions were due to catch up to her eventually. She more than likely cut her foot, and was trying to hide the evidence. Alex knew her too well, though, “Michael had it last. Why? Do you need it?”

“No. Just wondering,” The sink cabinet closing loudly made Nikita curse once more. Alex was too busy attempting not to burst out in laughter to notice Michael joining her at the bathroom door. He glanced between the agent’s muffled curses and the young woman’s stifled giggles, completely puzzled. He went to comment something, but ultimately decided against it. It’d be more fun to simply stand back and watch.

Eventually, Alex added to Nikita’s frustration, “Pretty sure the bandaids aren’t in there either.”

“Are you fucking… Why do you guys keep moving things?” Her complaint was interrupted by a wince and a sound of disgust. That threw off Alex’s assumption of a cut. Nikita wasn’t one to shy away from blood. Realizing Michael was standing behind her, the young woman glanced at him bewildered. He could only shrug.

Nikita yanked open the door, leaning against the frame as she only stood on her left foot. If she was surprised at the two standing outside the bathroom, she didn’t show it. Instead, she pushed past them and limped towards the living room, “Don’t you have better things to do?”

“Told you running barefoot was a bad idea,” Michael was all too smug while he walked after her. It was a rare occurrence for him to say ‘I told you so’ to Nikita. He wanted to revel in it. However, she shot him a look which made him try to hide his smug grin. Soberly, he asked, “Do you want me to get the first aid kit?”

With a heavy sigh, Nikita rolled her brown eyes, “I didn’t cut myself.”

“Then why the limp,” Alex’s blue eyes studied her over suspiciously. 

The agent collapsed onto the couch, propping her foot up on the coffee table that was covered in their weapons, “The sand is really hot today.”

“Did you get a heat blister?” Michael thought that fact was more funny than concerning. Blisters weren’t anything for them to be overly worried about. They got them all the time from fighting and missions. As long as they took care of them properly, they were of no fuss.

“Two,” Quietly, Nikita amended. Michael and Alex laughed at her poor fortune. The friction of running on the sand, and the heat from the sun caused some fairly large blisters on her right foot. She drained them in the bathroom. But without peroxide to sterilize and a bandaid to cover it up, she’d have to take care of them again in a couple of hours. Of all the annoying ways to get injured, she didn’t figure running would’ve been one of them. Maybe she should’ve worn her sneakers. Yet, being barefoot in the soothing sand was a sensation she would always cherish. She would just have to suffer.

Alex plopped herself down next to Nikita, and reached for the gun she had abandoned cleaning, “Well while you’re laid up, you can clean off your nail polish.”

“That’s blood,” She only had to spare a glance at the weapon to know where the stain on the handle originated. The young woman expressed her disgust, as she delicately placed it back on the coffee table. She wasn’t going to be the one to touch that.

Rolling his green eyes, Michael accepted his fate. He took the pistol and the cleaner, sitting down on the floor by Nikita’s legs. He was usually the one delegated to cleaning the blood from their weapons. Birkhoff argued since he wasn’t out in the field, he didn’t have to do any of the after care. And the women stated that since they scrubbed the blood out of their clothes, they didn’t have to do the guns and knives as well. Michael never really had it in him to fight back against their claims. Besides, sometimes cleaning could be relaxing. It at least gave him some time to think.

That time, though, not so much. Birkhoff joined the three of them in the living room, complaining, “Hey, Princess. I thought you were going on a beer run.”

“Yeah. When I get everyone else’s grocery list,” Alex didn’t budge from her seat.

“Why don’t you get it? You’re the one who’s actually over twenty-one,” Nikita tossed a pillow at him while he took a seat in the chair. Birkhoff actually caught it. They were both impressed with the action.

“It’s fine. I got a fake ID,” Shrugging, Alex stated. In fact, she had several fakes. They all did. None of them listed their actual names or ages, and they varied from purpose to purpose. Thus was the spy life. Nothing was real, and every tool and weapon was in excess. They were prepared for every scenario, kind of like the boy scouts. Only, much more dangerous and illegal. 

Nikita flashed Birkhoff a cruel smile, recalling a memory from long ago, “As long as Nerd didn’t create it, your fine. Otherwise, you might get pulled into jury duty.”

“That’s just the power of the Shadowwalker, baby,” Birkhoff’s gloat was supported by Michael’s laughter as he remembered the situation. Alex looked between them in confused shock. There was a story there, and she needed to know it.

Briefly, Nikita explained that while she was in deep cover in Chicago for Division her fake ID was sent a jury summons. It was apparently her civic duty to attend, like she wasn’t providing ‘civic duties’ elsewhere. Her cover life was so well constructed, that the city of Chicago believed it to be real. She had been shocked by that fact, and immediately called Birkhoff to yell at him or kill him- she hadn’t decided. Shaking her head, the agent soon concluded the story, “And Michael actually made me go.”

“I knew you weren't going to be picked. Besides, you kept saying you wanted a normal life,” Michael’s snide comment earned him a kick from Nikita. He gently took hold of her leg, soothing her with a soft massage. It only worked partially; she still glared.

“Jokes on you. Because jury duty is how I met Daniel,” Nikita’s confession made Michael’s smug expression fall. 

As Birkhoff and Alex laughed, her boyfriend stared at her in disbelief, “I thought you two met in a coffee shop.”

“Right. A coffee shop downtown. After I was dismissed from jury duty,” The nerd and the young woman seemed to have laughed even harder. Michael continued to glance at her, crestfallen. Nikita attempted to wipe his expression away with a kiss on top of his head, “So thanks, Babe.”

“Oh, man. How’s it feel to have played cupid for your girl,” Birkhoff just had to rub the fact in; it was too hilarious not to. It was as though everything Michael had done back then, led to Nikita meeting her late fiancé. He sent her to Chicago on deep cover. He put distance between them, so they wouldn’t cross the line of their relationship and be subject to cancellation. And he made her go to jury duty, which put her in the coffee shop that day. Past Michael just couldn’t catch a break.

Michael’s glare could have frightened the most hardened of criminals. Fortunately, Birkhoff had a pillow to hide behind. Alex coughed away her giggle, getting to her feet, “I think now’s a good time to go to the store. You can just text me what you want.”

“I’ll go with you,” Pushing off the couch, Nikita decided.

“With shoes right?” Alex teased.

She shot her a look, before bending down in front of Michael. She tenderly laid a hand on his cheek, “Hey. I love you.”

“I love you too,” He mumbled. She gave him a kiss and a smile, rushing on her sore foot to catch up with the departing Alex. Michael scowled once more at Birkhoff to keep him quiet, and went back to cleaning the gun. He had a lot to think about then.


	62. Chapter 62

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set pre-series in Nikita's Division days. Inspired by how much I enjoy their working relationships.

“This is why nobody fucking likes you,” Birkhoff’s shriek and curse drew Michael’s attention. He had already been late on his way to ops for the mission briefing. Percy had assigned him as lead; he had some budget meeting to go to and Amanda was busy with the new recruits. Michael should’ve arrived ten minutes prior, but he had been held up in training; to make a long story short, a recruit had gotten cocky. The handler was afraid to see what he had missed while running late. If Birkhoff was that angry, it must’ve been terrible.

Or not, judging by the melodic laughter that followed the computer tech’s curse. It was light and carefree, and calmed Michael instantly. He wanted to laugh along with it, almost forgetting where he was. The laugh made him feel as though he were in a tropical paradise, and all of his troubles and worries could melt away in the sand and the waves. It was cruel to remember that he was in the underground bunker that was Division. Masterfully schooling his features, Michael entered ops. 

Nikita continued to laugh, twirling a small gun around her finger. He should’ve known the laughter came from her. She always found some way to lighten his mood. Although, the gun she was handling so carelessly gave him pause. When he heard it rattle as it moved, however, he relaxed once more; it was just a toy. Birkhoff glared at her and the thing in her hand fiercely. When he noticed Michael, he pushed out of his chair and pointed an accusatory finger at her, “She’s a menace to society.”

“It’s just a toy, man,” Michael shrugged, moving further into the room. The sly expression on Nikita’s face soon made him regret his words. She pointed the toy pistol at his chest and fired. Michael was not proud of his little jump. In his defense, the loud pop and thick smoke of the cap gun startled him. He thought it was a regular toy, or a water gun. At least his jump was better than Birkhoff’s yelp.

“See! This is what I’m talking about. She’s too immature,” Birkhoff complained again. Nikita stuck her tongue out, and the computer tech did the same. Michael rolled his green eyes.

The handler took Nikita’s toy, which she thankfully handed over without a fight, and grabbed the mission file from his desk. A smirk flashed across his features, “She’s immature? You’re the one who’s crying like a baby.”

Laughing, Nikita hopped up to sit on the tabletop next to Michael. She swung her impossibly long legs back and forth, “Nerd’s just jealous ‘cause I had time to go shopping and he didn’t.”

Birkhoff huffed, and collapsed back into his computer chair. He typed a command on his keyboard, pulling up the mission information on the big screen. Michael wasn’t interested in that, however. Nikita’s statement confused him, “You didn’t have time for shopping either. You were supposed to be getting into cover.”

“I’m a rich spoiled girl with daddy issues, right? What better way to prepare than go shopping?” Her voice slipped into a stereotypical Valley-girl accent near the end. While the computer tech rolled his eyes, Michael quietly chuckled. He didn’t understand what was with him that day. Everything Nikita did caused a strong reaction out of him. Normally, he could keep himself under wraps. But she just had a way to crawl under his skin and make him feel alive. 

Michael knew Nikita was aware of the fact. She glanced at him with all too knowing brown eyes, and a bright smile. Before the handler could say anything, Birkhoff was mumbling behind his computer, “Yeah. But not shopping for a cap gun you shoot in a guy’s face.”

“You shot it in his face?” Michael didn’t know whether to be appalled by his agent’s actions, or laugh that she annoyed Birkhoff so much. He settled for a mix of both, and covered it with a raise of his eyebrow. 

“He’s fine,” Nikita dared Birkhoff to contradict her.

“You’re buying me dinner, Nikki,” The computer tech crossed his arms, settling on a solution to their silent argument. He would drop the matter and stop complaining, and she would be good and clear to mess with him in the future, as long as she brought him food. They were acceptable terms, so Nikita nodded. Birkhoff eased. 

“Sure. If I survive the mission, I’ll buy you a pizza,” Michael did not appreciate her choice of the word ‘if’. She would be coming back from the op alive. That wasn’t even a question. She was a smart and capable agent; the mission shouldn’t be of any difficulty for her. In the off chance that it was, her handler would be there to help her. Nikita was going to come home, no ifs about it.

Clearing his throat, Michael changed the subject. He really didn’t want to delve into the strong feelings he just experienced, “Your flights in two hours. Let’s get back to business.”

“Aye, aye sailor,” Nikita yanked the file from his hands. Holding back a smirk, Michael ignored her and pushed forward. Although there were a few more taunts thrown between Birkhoff and Nikita, the briefing went smoothly. The agent was off on her way to take down her dangerous target, and her handler and computer tech would be watching for whenever she needed them. Michael hoped she wouldn’t need them at all. She should’ve been in and out without any problems.

And everything was going perfectly. Nikita made contact with the mark, and was being brought back to his place. Michael tried not to let his skin crawl at the idea. She was an agent, and it was a mission- there was nothing more. She placed the bugs Birkhoff had given her throughout the house, and had slipped the guards the pills Medical had given her. All that was left was taking out the target. Nikita could do that easily.

However, after she had completed the kill and was making her exfil, she ran into a huge problem; a hairy, scary, gnarly problem. Eyes wide, Nikita stopped at the backdoor that led into the expansive backyard. She got her voice under control as she spoke over the coms, “Uh. Patch me through to Michael, Nerd.”

Confused, Birkhoff tossed a com to Michael, “For you, Mikey.”

“Nikita. What is it?” He pushed down his panic. Especially when it took her a long moment to respond.

“Was there anything about a bear in the file? ‘Cause I’m looking at one chained up in the backyard,” Computer tech and handler immediately jumped into research mode. Birkhoff pulled up various aerial views of the target’s house, while Michael compiled everything he had against the target.

It took them a second, but soon they had the information for Nikita, “Looks like he just filed for a permit to the state of Nevada to keep a bear as a pet. He probably went ahead with that before permission.”

“Before I shot him, he said he had something exciting to show me. I just thought it was his dick,” Nikita quipped.

Birkhoff laughed, “I bet both are scary to look at.”

Michael rolled his eyes, getting right back on task to save his agent, “It looks like the bear’s on a short leash. Inch very slowly around the edge of the yard until you reach the gate. You should be fine.”

“Or you could just shoot the bear,” Shrugging, Birkhoff suggested.

“How about I shoot you,” Nikita hissed at the computer tech, “And not with a toy.”

“No. No shooting. The target’s death will be blamed on the guards. If you kill the bear, there’d be too many questions,” Nikita had already refused the idea, but Michael squashed it down anyway. It’d make her debriefing and report easier if he had decided against it instead of her. Amanda was already hesitant about Nikita's bleeding heart. He didn’t want to give her any more ammunition against her. Besides, the bear hadn’t done anything; it didn’t deserve to die.

Nikita made it to the gate without any further problems. She hopped the fence, sprinting towards her getaway car, “Awesome. When I get back you’re both coming over for pizza.”

Her handler didn’t get the chance to stutter out a surprised response. The computer tech was already shaking his head, “If Michael’s coming, I want beer too.”

“Ugh, fine. But that means we’re watching a movie. I’m not gonna have you drink then drive,” The men could hear Nikita kick the car into high gear as she tore out of there. She was determined to be on the earliest flight home. Birkhoff began to hack the airline to get her a ticket. 

After a moment of thought, Michael relented to the plan. He could use a break from Division. And a night with Nikita sounded great, even if Birkhoff was there, “As long as Nerd doesn't pick the movie, I’ll be there.”

Whereas Nikita laughed, Birkhoff groaned, “Not you too.”

Due to weather related layovers and debriefings, the three of them couldn’t have their pizza and movie night until the next day. It was awkward at first, meeting outside of Division and in casual clothes. But they soon settled into easy conversations and jokes once the pizza arrived. The three of them had a lot of fun together, as weird as that thought was. They worked well on missions. And though they got on one another’s nerves, they liked being around each other. They could call each other friends, if they worked for any other organizations. Or if any one of them could admit they cared for each other. They’d settle for pranks and repressed feelings instead.


	63. Chapter 63

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set between 3x02 "Innocence" and 3x03 "True Believer". Inspired by the fact that Nerd deserves love too.

He hadn’t left his nerd cave in days. He’d leave to help on missions, and assist his team. But other than that, he had holed himself up with his computers and claimed he had projects to work on. The only one he had managed to build was his new drone. The rest of his time was spent mindlessly playing videogames. He wasn’t in the mood to socialize with the others. He felt much better just slouching on his couch and mashing buttons. There was no talking and no expressing required. He could simply be a zombie in peace.

His annoying team wasn’t going to let that happen, however. They were aware of his sullen temperament. He had been like that for weeks. They thought the new missions would’ve boosted his mood; he loved any opportunity to boast about his hacking. Yet he was as grumpy as ever. They couldn’t have that. Not just because he was scaring the others in New Division, but also because they didn’t like to see him so upset. His team was going to have to fix that. He was going to feel better whether he wanted to or not.

Nikita was the first to be deployed. She sauntered into the nerd cave after a sparring session with Michael. Her bronze body glistened with sweat that she hadn’t bothered to towel off. The chilled air of Division would do that for her, and so would the nerd. Nikita threw her arms over the back of the couch, wrapping him in a tight hold, “Sup, Birkhoff. Whatcha playing?”

“God. Why are you so sweaty?” Birkhoff sharply pushed her off of him, and moved down the couch.

“‘Cause I was sparring, duh,” Moving to block his view of the television, Nikita lightly punched and kicked Birkhoff as if to illustrate her point. He ducked and dodged her as best as he could. Whenever a sweaty limb came into contact with his skin he sneered in disgust. That only seemed to spur the agent on.

Michael entering the nerd cave next, seemed to have been Birkhoff’s salvation. He called to him while swatting away Nikita’s fists, “Michael, come control your fianceé.”

“Nikita, stop,” Shrugging, Michael halfheartedly replied. He knew he had no control of her actions; there was no use even trying. Flopping onto the couch next to Birkhoff, he wiped away some of the sweat on his forehead with his shirt. Once again, the nerd moved as far away from the sweaty agents as possible. Nikita gave him one more shove with a slicked palm, before going to sit on the arm of the sofa. Both she and Michael were slumped against the cushions, her legs intertwined with his arms. It made Birkhoff roll his eyes and scoff.

“Can’t you two go shower and leave me alone,” The nerd grumbled, eyes back to being glued on the screen. The agents had interrupted his flow in the game, and he’d have to play serious catch up if he wanted to be back on the leaderboard. He didn’t care that much about it, however. It wasn’t as though he had given the videogame much thought while he was playing it.

“I’d rather get shot than shower in the locker room again. It just feels like foot fungus,” Nikita complained, not moving from her seat. 

Massaging at her calf, Michael flashed her his trademark smirk, “That’s because a certain someone would always skip out on her recruit chores.”

Her eyebrows shot up daringly, “Who are you gonna tell?”

“Go home and shower,” Birkhoff barked. Those two could torture with their flirting and PDA. He swore they had only gotten worse since becoming engaged. It was insufferable how in love they were. 

“Have you talked to Sonya yet?” Nikita’s question threw him for a loop. Most of her topic changes did, but especially that one. Birkhoff’s character was killed in his game, except his attention was on the agents looking at him expectantly. He wanted to snap at them again for bringing her up. However, he didn’t have it in him. He just stammered at them, trying to think of something to say.

Thankfully, Alex entered into the room voicing her own opinion. She appeared to have also been in a sparring match, but she had the decency to towel off, “Don’t go to those two for relationship advice. It took them years, continents, and bloodshed to get together.”

“Uh. We are engaged, Missy,” Nikita swatted at Alex as she sat between Michael and Birkhoff. The young women did a better job at ignoring her than Birkhoff had.

“Look, Nerd. Sonya and I have gotten close over the past couple of months. If you need any advice on winning her back, I got you,” Alex smiled reassuringly at him, so did the agents. Starting up another round in his videogame, he averted their gaze. He understood what they were trying to do, but he didn’t want their help. He was content to sulk. Sonya broke things off, that was just how it was. Even if he was upset, he would have to live with it.

By staring at the television, Birkhoff missed the look that was expressed between the other three in the room. They appeared to have planned for his reaction, and were ready for the next phase. Supporting a sore back, Sean shuffled into the room. Michael noticed his discomfort and grinned, “Your girl hand your ass to you again?”

“Yeah, man. How did you get used to it?” Collapsing on the floor at Alex’s feet, the Seal flashed the agent a smug grin. Michael rolled his eyes.

Nikita, on the other hand, chuckled, “He’s not. He still complains.”

Whereas Nikita and Alex high fived over being able to best their men in fights, Michael pinched at his fianceé’s calf. She kicked her heel back into his gut. Half listening to their conversation, Birkhoff cracked a small grin. Sean capitalized off of his amusement, grabbing the second player controller, “Let me save my ego. I’m sure I could kick some virtual ass.”

Alex slipped a leg around his neck. She moved to teasingly choke Sean, which earned her a tickle on her foot. She kicked away wildly. Everyone but Birkhoff laughed at the antics. After a moment of silently watching the Seal and the nerd play a videogame, Nikita suggested, “If you don’t wanna talk to or about Sonya, that’s fine. But at least eat something. We can get some buttery popcorn and greasy eggrolls.”

Playing against another person seemed to have some effect on his mood. He sat upright in his seat, actively engaged in the game, “Yeah. Food sounds good.”

“So does a movie. I’m not watching you and Sean randomly press buttons,” Michael chimed in, with a nudge at Sean’s arm to make him fumble the controller.

“I wanna watch a new movie. But I don’t wanna go out to the theater,” Alex sighed.

While they agreed with the young woman’s sentiment, Birkhoff shook his head, “You don’t need to go to the movies to watch new releases. I can pull up theater grade films on my laptop in a second.”

Satisfied grins flashed around him. Suggest a hack, and the nerd would be back to his normal self in a heartbeat. Food and playing videogames with others also helped. Nikita pretended to think for a second, before wrapping their plan up, “What movies are even out right now?”

“It’s October, so mostly horror,” Sean grit out as he maneuvered his character on the screen. Alex had distracted him by leaning forward on the couch and wrapping her arms and legs around him. He had to snap his focus back to the game.

“Yeah no,” Michael replied for all of them. They had experienced enough blood and suspense in their jobs. They didn’t need to see it in fiction as well, “How about that new James Bond movie?”

“Yes, Skyfall,” Nikita sat up in excitement. Alex shot her an annoyed look that made her roll her eyes, “Yeah I know I hate spy movies. But James Bond is cool.”

“Whatever. Skyfall isn’t even out yet,” The young woman huffed.

“Please. Like that could stop me,” Birkhoff scoffed. He shot Sean’s videogame character, and whooped in pride. The nerd was back, proving his hopeless friends wrong and taking out noobs in virtual games. Nothing could stop him. He was a tad confused though when the others got to their feet and began to leave. Nikita led Michael out by his hand, and Alex supported a limping Sean. They were holding back their own cheers as they told him to hack while they got their food and drinks. 

It wasn’t until he was sitting at his computer that he fully realized what had happened. His team baited him into a better mood. He wouldn’t talk or go out to see anyone, so they went to him and distracted him with a good time. Birkhoff wasn’t angry with them for that. Instead, he laughed. He never figured they would know him so well as to provide him a hack to do for fun. He guessed they were just that good of friends. His heart didn’t feel so broken and lost at that fact. Sonya may have been gone for reasons he still didn’t understand, but his friends were there. They would always annoyingly be there for him.


	64. Chapter 64

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set post-series. Inspired by the different scenes throughout the series of Mikita interacting with "normal" couples and people.

Peach juice dripped down Nikita’s chin, and splashed down on the tiled floor of the kitchen. She lightly stepped over it, silently promising herself she’d clean it up in a second. The boiling noodles took precedence at the moment. One handed she turned off the stove, carried the pot to the sink, and dumped the macaroni in the strainer. She let it sit there for a minute to finish her peach and clean the mess she had created (it was more than just fruit juice on the floor). Once she was satisfied with that, she put the pasta back in the pot and finished making the mac and cheese. She stirred in spices and vegetables in an attempt to fancy up the boxed meal. Feeling pretty proud of herself for her ingenuity and creativeness, Nikita hopped onto the counter to grab some tupperware in the hanging cabinets.

“We have a stepladder,” Michael’s smokey voice floated into the kitchen behind his wife. He helped her down anyway, her hands full of a large bowl.

“That was faster,” Nikita shrugged as she poured the spicy vegetables and mac and cheese into the container. Sighing, Michael grabbed a paper towel to wipe up the splashed sauce and spilled food. Just as she was out in the field, Nikita was a tornado in the kitchen. She spent as much time cleaning up after herself as she did cooking. He was certain her veggie shakes created the worst spills. But at least she was getting better at containing it. After she had forgotten to secure the lid to the blender, she was learning to be more careful.

While Nikita went to get saran wrap to cover the bowl, Michael inspected the food inside. Chuckling, he judged the sidedish she had prepared, “Did you really make boxed mac and cheese to bring to our neighbor’s?”

She covered the food, and handed her husband the pot and spoon to clean in the sink, “Don’t knock it before you try it.”

“Wow. Okay. I’ll never judge your cooking ever again,” Michael took a bite of the few noodles left in the pot before soaking it in water. It really was delicious. He had never really doubted Nikita’s cooking, but that cemented just how talented she was. She flashed him a cocky grin, and joined him at the sink to tag team the dishes, “It wouldn’t be rude if I just ate that, right?”

“Well it is your wife’s cooking. It should make her husband go wild,” Nikita quipped, laying emphasis on ‘husband’ and ‘wife’. Although they had been married for a few months, it still felt fresh and new. The couple didn’t think they would ever get used to the pure happiness they felt at that fact. Michael and Nikita were finally married. They were going to spend the rest of their lives together. It was nothing but sunshine and rainbows ahead of them.

Wrapping his arms around her waist, Michael laid a sweet kiss to Nikita’s lips. When they parted, he smirked, “Did you eat a peach?”

“Yeah. Why? Am I sticky?” She wet a paper towel and dabbed at her chin and lips. 

Michael laughed at her movements, “We’re going to dinner and you already ate.”

Nikita tossed the damp towel in her husband’s face. He fumbled the catch, but luckily it landed on the edge of the sink. It didn’t take long to clean it up, or the rest of the dishes. As she set them to dry, she shrugged her shoulders, “It was an appetizer.”

Although he rolled his green eyes, he laughed, “Whatever. You ready to head over? Cover story intact?”

“Half truths all the way, Babe,” Nikita grabbed the tupperware, and took hold of Michael’s hand. Together, they left their beach house, locked up, and walked over to their neighbor’s down the street.

The area in which the newlyweds lived remained fairly isolated until tourist season. Then, the houses would be rented out to vacationers. One house, however, was permanently owned by a wealthy retired couple. They would come down to their second home whenever the summer started. About a week ago, the couple spotted Nikita and Michael coming home from one of their recent missions. The two got trapped in a conversation with their older neighbors, resulting in an invitation to dinner; they were going to see a lot of each other, might as well get to know one another. Michael and Nikita relented. They did often say they wanted some normalcy in their lives. So, with a last minute sidedish in hand, the two former agents plastered on bright grins and knocked on the front door.

The Mears-Bishops were immediately swept into hugs and handshakes from the Connollys. Nikita had to shake off a moment of whiplash as Mrs. Connolly led her to the kitchen to put down the mac and cheese. Michael awkwardly stared after her, while he was led away to the living room by Mr. Connolly. Their plan did not involve being separated. But it was alright. They were capable agents. They could adapt and evolve. Luckily, there were other couples there (the tourists of the season) to act as buffers. 

Conversations and dinner flowed nicely enough at first. Michael and Nikita were able to tell the somewhat true story of their lives without difficulty. They met at work nearly a decade ago, but it was a pretty toxic working environment. No dating within the company was allowed, hours were awful, and their corporate leaders treated employees terribly. Eventually they formed their own company with other friends from work, and took out the competition. At the moment they worked as independent contractors, fixing different problems around the world. They also have ownership stock in a tech company. 

The last fact was actually one hundred percent true. Michael and Nikita did have stock in Birkhoff’s and Sonya’s startup. However, the rest was carefully constructed to make themselves as normal as possible. Sure their real story was out there for the world to read up on, but they didn’t want their neighbors to know. Or know that they were still out there fighting crime from time to time. It was better to play a façade. There was less explaining to do.

Nikita and Michael sat very close to one another at the table. Part of it was due to the amount of guests, but also so their hands could brush under the table. Mrs. Connolly caught them in the act, and beamed, “Oh I know y'all have known each other for a long time. But you just scream newlyweds.”

“Oh, well. That’s because we just got married. Like four months ago,” Nikita blushed slightly, glancing over at Michael. He nodded in agreement, his own cheeks truing a soft red.

“If you play your cards right, the honeymoon phase never ends,” Another one of the couples not so quietly whispered over to them. The table laughed and supplied their own comments to the statement. The Mears-Bishops added their own sarcastic remarks to the mix, enjoying the banter. Until, someone asked them, “Where did you spend your honeymoon?”

Michael and Nikita paused for a second. They hadn’t been expecting that question. Considering their honeymoon was spent stopping a militia, the former agents went for even more half truths, “We uh, did some activities that originally brought us together. There were a lot of… fireworks. And even some interrupted moments.”

The newlyweds laughed at their own inside jokes. It was endearing to the older couples around them. Mrs. Connolly just couldn’t seem to get enough of Nikita and Michael, “You two are just so cute. It’s going to be so exciting when you have equally adorable babies.”

“When are you planning on popping the little buggers out?” Mr. Connolly continued with his wife’s train of thought, causing the former agents to choke on their wine. Nikita had a very clear flashback of a moment just like that one from what felt like a lifetime ago. Especially when Michael responded that they were going to take things slow. The table continued to talk about children however. Most of their kids were out of the house living their own lives, or home alone waiting for the adult dinner to be over. 

Nikita and Michael just sat and listened, focusing on the food scraps left on their plates. They hadn’t talked much about kids, besides once or twice when they were dating and first engaged. They had settled on circling back to the topic later, but never really did. The two were kind of at an understanding that maybe they just wouldn’t have a baby. They lived hectically, and their track record regarding kids wasn’t all too great. They, of course, were not going to share all that with strangers. So the two were left awkwardly listening to the others go on and on about babies, and how they change your lives and your marriages.

When Nikita’s phone rang, she didn’t hesitate before excusing herself and running away from the table. She did her best to ignore Michael’s wounded expression at her abandoning him like that. She’d find some way to save him later. She just had to save herself first, “Ohmygod, Alex. Thank you so much.”

“I just called to see if we’re still on for this weekend,” The young woman responded, sounding confused by the situation, “What’s going on there?”

“We’re at dinner with the neighbors. And god it’s worse than the ring lady,” Nikita made certain her voice didn’t carry towards the other room. Alex giggled at the memory of the jewelry store woman who had gone on a rant about marriage and children to the recently engaged Nikita. 

After taking a moment to collect herself, Alex joked, “I’m glad I could save your life.”

“Yeah, listen. Do you think I could adopt you as my daughter? Maybe then these too normal people can get off my back,” Nikita could see Michael from where she stood. She mouthed ‘Alex’ to him as an explanation. He rolled his eyes, and shook his head. She was gonna pay for leaving him.

Faint Russian could be heard through the phone. Alex was spending the week with her mother in Greece; she must’ve been talking to her. A bit later, the young woman replied to her best friend, “My mom said no. But, as a thankyou for all you've done for us, she’s gonna adopt you as my sister.”

“Seriously? I’m gonna be an Udinov?” The former agent’s brilliant smile captured her husband’s attention. He didn’t know what was going on, but he smiled with her. 

“You have the daddy issues,” Alex managed to make fun of both of them with the quip, “Now you can be Nikita Mears-Udinov-Bishop.”

Nikita laughed, agreeing that that was the perfect name. She opened her mouth to make another joke at their expenses, when she noticed Michael’s sudden change in expression. She had seen that face before around overly curious senators and congressmen, “Uh oh. Someone figured out Michael was in the Navy. I gotta go save him.”

“Alright. I’ll see you in a couple days. Love you, sis,” The young woman waited for an answering ‘love you’, then ended the call.

As quickly as she could, Nikita hurried back to her husband. Michael was instantly relieved at seeing his wife, “I’m sorry everyone. That was my baby sister. Apparently Mom is giving her a hard time, and she wants to stay with us for a couple of days.”

The look in Nikita’s brown eyes tipped Michael off to the escape plan. He grabbed their tupperware, continuing the apology, “Oh no, Honey. We’re gonna have to clean the boxes out of the guestroom. We have to cut our evening short.”

Whereas Michael and Nikita were containing their excitement, the rest of the dinner guests were upset at their departure. The newlyweds gave rushed goodbyes, and scrambled out of the house. It wasn’t until they were near their own home did they sigh in relief. Visibly more relaxed, they swung their clasped hands between them and chuckled. Michael’s trademark half smile soon graced his features, “Alex is your baby sister now, huh?”

“Oh yeah. Katya’s adopting me,” Nikita caught him up on her conversation with her best friend. He could only shake his head at their antics. 

Eventually they reached their beach house, and crashed through the front door. Nikita tossed the remaining mac and cheese in the fridge, before joining Michael on the couch as he flipped through movies on TV. They curled close together, kissing and settling in for the rest of the night, “We’re never doing normal ever again.”

“No we’re fucking not.”


	65. Chapter 65

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set sometime in season 3. Inspired by a throwaway line about Sean's sister having kids.

She didn’t know how she got roped into that evening. She wasn’t complaining too much. It was kind of fun. But how she got there was confusing. She was hanging out with her boyfriend, enjoying herself and her time, when his sister called. Her babysitter was sick, their sister was stuck working a case, and she really wanted to go out with her husband. It was a good thing brother was there to save the day. Of course he would watch his niece and nephew; what uncle wouldn’t spend time with the babies. She didn’t know how she was brought along with him, however. He could’ve babysat on his own. Yet somehow, she was there.

Sean and Alex fell into some awkward steps as they began to watch the kids. Alex couldn’t remember the last time she had interacted with children. She wasn’t sure what she was supposed to do with them. Sean saw his niece and nephew regularly, so he was able to swoop in and be the fun uncle that he was. Eventually, Alex fell into the rhythm of chasing around the toddler to the amusement of the baby. Maybe they played too rough with him; he fell down and smacked the ground a couple of times, and the wrestling moves Sean put him in was too much for a four year old. But he was fine. He laughed and screamed the entire time, as his baby sister jumped in her bouncer and squealed.

When it was time for the kids to eat their dinner, Sean and Alex were at a loss. There was a lot of googling to figure out what the toddler could eat versus the baby. They ended up making two separate meals that the kids didn’t finish. To not let the food go to waste, and because they didn’t have the time to make dinner for themselves, they finished it for them. While Alex hurriedly threw the dishes in the sink, Sean chased after the ever moving kids. Babysitting was starting to catch up to the young couple. They might have agreed to something way over their heads.

That became evident, when it came time to change the baby’s diaper. Alex let Sean handle that one. He had slightly more experience than she had in the situation. It was a sloppy job to say the least, but it was done. The baby wasn’t happy about it the entire time, and the toddler kept trying to play with his uncle. They got everything under control, but they were starting to feel drained. Constantly chasing after the kids, and playing, and making sure they were okay was taking its toll. Sean and Alex caved and called for bedtime early. The sooner the kids went to bed, the sooner they could rest. And the sooner they could clean up the giant mess of toys they had created.

Sean’s nephew put up a fight against brushing his teeth and going to bed. But once a story was read and his lights were off, he was out. Sean’s niece, however, was a completely different story. She was fed, burped, and changed, yet when they brought her to her crib she began to cry. And she wouldn’t stop crying, not even when they gave her her blanket and pacifier. Alex and Sean didn’t know what was wrong. They thought it must’ve been something serious- babies just didn’t cry without reason. Sure they were panicking a little bit, but it seemed valid to them. His niece was worrying them.

They did the only sensible thing they could think of in the moment, they called an expert. The call went to voicemail immediately, so they called the expert’s fianceé. She answered after a couple of rings, “What?”

“Nikita, is Michael with you?” Alex was panicked as she placed the call on speaker. The screaming baby in the background didn’t help to assure Nikita that things were alright. She became concerned, handing the phone to Michael but staying close.

“Alex, what is it?” Michael was worried as he questioned.

Sean answered for her, attempting to soothe the baby in his arms, “My niece won’t stop crying. She’s fed, and changed. But when we put her to bed she started to scream. Nothing we do will get her to stop.”

There was silence on the other end of the phone for a while. Alex and Sean were becoming even more stressed. Very quietly, Michael replied, “So why are you calling me?”

“Because you’re the baby expert. And I don’t want to ruin my sister’s date night. And my other sister is busy with work,” His words came out in a fast rant. The Navy Seal was equipped for every situation he could think of; he was always prepared. His niece being extremely upset with no reason as to why, was not one of them. He could chalk it up to not knowing anything about babies. However the concern he had for his niece was overwhelming. He needed to make certain she was alright; he needed to make her feel better.

“But you’ll ruin our date night,” It was hard to hear, but Nikita muttered it anyway.

Michael covered up her remark with a heavy sigh, “She’s probably just tired and wants her parents there when she goes to bed. Calm down and comfort her. Give her a pacifier to self soothe with, and she should be fine.”

“She screams even more when we give it to her though,” Alex chimed in, nearly shrieking. If Sean was freaking out about his niece, then so was she. He knew more than her about infant care. It must’ve been terrible if even he was at a loss. The whole night she was following his lead in babysitting. The last time she interacted with a child was the teenager she helped rescue a few months prior. Before that, she was a child herself. She had no idea what she was doing. And it scared her. She thought that a mistake in babysitting was a lot more detrimental than a mistake on a mission.

“She’s probably teething. Check the freezer for a teething ring,” Michael suggested, sounding tired of that conversion.

Alex rushed to the kitchen while Sean began comforting his niece. He talked to her like he would be calming a hostage he had rescued. It wasn’t perfect, yet it was kind of doing the job. Running back with s frozen rubber doughnut in hand, Alex wondered, “Does it look like a baby toy. Because I think I got it.”

“Yeah. Now give it to her to suck on. It should help with the pain,” Michael stayed on the line long enough to ensure the baby’s cries lessened a bit. Although he was annoyed with the couple for calling him with the non-emergency, he was concerned for the baby. Sean and Alex were great together on missions. But he figured a baby might’ve just been their limit. 

A voice came through the speaker that neither Alex nor Sean recognized, “Calls from a panicked babysitter. Don’t miss those days.”

“Yeah. This is why you don’t have your siblings watch your baby,” Nikita deadpanned. 

“Who was that?” Alex was able to lower her voice back to a normal volume, since the baby had stopped screaming as loudly.

“Our waitress. Don’t call again,” With that, Michael and Nikita hung up on Sean and Alex. The couple came to the conclusion that they were going to be killed once they showed up to work in the morning, but they had other concerns at hand. Sean’s niece had calmed substantially with the teething ring. The soothing words they were whispering to her were helping as well. 

Eventually, the baby stopped crying all together. She wasn’t asleep yet, but they considered themselves victors for getting her to stop crying. Alex took over carrying her to give Sean a break. She bounced her in her arms and cooed. Beaming, Alex looked at her boyfriend, “Hey. I’m kinda a natural at this. I think once the panic went away, we became awesome babysitters.”

Sean snapped himself out of a daze he had fallen in at the sight of his girlfriend and his niece. He smiled back at Alex, “We are awesome. Now, Ms. Natural. Think you can get her to sleep?”

“Tell her one of your stories, and yeah,” She shot back. The two ended up falling asleep instead. They laid on the couch with the baby to settle her, and they crashed in exhaustion. Luckily, Sean’s niece fell asleep as well and stayed locked in their hold. No one woke when Sean’s sister and husband came home, allowing for a wonderful picture to be taken. The baby was put in her crib before Sean and Alex were woken. They sheepishly cleaned up the mess they had created, and said their goodbyes for the night.

“You know,” Alex mused while they drove back to her apartment, “I would totally babysit again if they asked. I think the next time we’ll do much better.”

“Oh yeah. We definitely hit a groove. We are now masters at taking care of toddlers and babies,” Clasping her hand, Sean agreed.

“Hell yeah we are. Because we’re awesome.”


	66. Chapter 66

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set sometime in season 3. Inspired by comments on Fanfiction equating Sean, Alex, and Sonya to Michael, Nikita, and Birkhoff.

Pulling off two different yet simultaneous missions was going to be difficult. They had to time their movements to match the other operation across the world, while gathering their own information and taking out their own targets. A substantial amount of planning and practice went into making sure everything would go as smoothly as possible. The agents drilled for days, rehearsing every plan they had and preparing for any worst case scenarios. When it came time for the mission, they were confident in the teams’ abilities. They could pull it off. If they didn't, well, they knew the stakes.

Nikita and Michael were stationed in Havana. She was the agent on the ground, while he ran the mission from the van. It was just like old time for them; Birkhoff was even the tech in their ear. Alex and Sean, on the other hand, were in Prague. He was running point in the hotel, as she infiltrated the target; Sonya was going to be their tech for the night. Because of the simultaneous ops, it was easier to have two separate hackers. They would work closely together at Division, but otherwise they were assisting the different teams. No miscommunications or crossed wires would occur. Tech would be free of errors, allowing the agents to be as well.

Once everyone was in position and their watches were synchronized, the missions were a go. The teams were placed on different com frequencies, forcing them to rely on trust that the others were doing as they had planned. Finalizing his setup, Sean watched Alex on the security feed Sonya had hacked. He glanced at the time on his watch, “Alright, Al. Nikita should be entering the building right now. You have five minutes to get to the back gate.”

“I can do it in three, S,” As she hustled through the woods, Alex quipped. She had to climb up a tree some ways to be able to jump over the fence that surrounded the compound. Thankfully she knew how to fall correctly so she wouldn’t break a limb. Double checking that there was no one in sight, Alex took off running towards the main building.

“Did you just try to shorten ‘Sean’?” He questioned after ensuring that Alex was in the clear. There was a notebook on the desk that Sean began to write in. He had discovered that recording her time and progress would help him keep track of the missions. He’d be able to tell Alex to hurry up or slow down, or simply stay exactly how she was depending on their plans. At the moment, their timing was perfect. Their hard work was really paying off.

Alex paused at the sidedoor, waiting for when she had to open it, “You shortened Alex. Which is already a nickname.”

“I was trying to be cool and snappy. Okay, you can go inside now,” Defending himself, Sean switched his feed to the inside of the compound. It wasn’t a clear picture, but he could still make out Alex rolling her blue eyes at him. He chuckled, and shook his head.

“While this banter is fascinating, I really need Alex to open up the junction box,” Sonya chimed in with a hint of a smile in her voice. She was starting to understand what Seymour meant whenever he taunted the different couples for their working relationships. There sure was a lot of flirting and teasing.

“Sorry. I’m working on it. It’s just stuck,” With a grunt, Alex was finally able to open the junction box. She hooked her phone to the wires, and checked the time on her watch. Sonya had five minutes to hack; that was plenty of time for her. Alex still taped her foot impatiently, peering over her shoulder for any of the guards that might have been around.

“We should have a party after this. Ryan and Owen will be back from DC around the same time we all get back from the missions. We have to celebrate our wins,” Sean suggested during the silence that followed. 

Catching one of the cameras with her eyes, Alex tried to shoot him a glare, “This another one of your goals to look forward to?”

Before Sean could reply, he spotted an armed guard approaching Alex. He was a little frantic as he warned her, “Tango on your six. Take him down quietly so he doesn't alert the others. And hide his body.”

Silent, deadly, and quick, Alex did all she was asked. The guard didn’t even have time to react. He was out without knowing what hit him. As Alex dragged his unconscious body somewhere else, she huffed, “You’re pretty bossy for a handler. You’re supposed to trust your agent’s decisions.”

“And I’m pretty fast for a computer tech,” Sonya’s gloat interrupted Sean’s attempt at a response, “I control everything. You can move on to the next room.”

“But go slow. Give the others a chance to catch up to our super hacker,” Although they couldn’t see her, they knew Sonya was beaming at Sean’s compliment. Alex grabbed her phone, closed the junction box, and crept towards the exit. She didn’t see any signs of more guards, which Sean confirmed in the coms. It was a little weird having him as her handler instead of her partner. She was used to fighting by his side, not listening to his commands in her ear. Having him watch over her was comforting, however; she felt safer than she would’ve otherwise.

After they had timed Alex’s entrance into the hallway and Sean had copied down his mission notes, he picked up from the taunt she had tossed at him earlier, “I may be bossy. But it’s the only way to get through to your stubborn ass.”

“Can I turn my coms off before Alex responds?” Sonya wondered, actively rerouting the cameras away from the agent. 

“It’s okay, Sonya. I can wait until the op’s over before I rip his head off,” Alex reassured.

Clearing his throat, Sean downplayed how worried her statement actually made him. She could be terrifying when she wanted to, “Whatever. Just go to the last door on the left.”

“Yes, sir. Mr. Sailor, sir.”

“That’s Mr. Seal to you, Princess,” Both Alex and Sean stifled laughter at their conversation; Sonya rolled her chocolate brown eyes. She unlocked the electronic door for Alex, and fed Sean the camera feed of the room. The area was clear, save for a single computer near the back wall. Glancing at her watch, Alex pulled a flashdrive from her pocket. There was a thirty minute window for her to download the information, take out the target on the other side of the compound, and escape. It was tight, but Alex had managed to do it during practice. Hopefully the real thing would run as smoothly.

As a precaution, Alex readied her hand over her pistol. She didn’t want any surprises coming through the door while she waited for the information. Everything was quiet, until Sonya checked in on the guards’ radio frequency, “Don’t panic, but the guards are bored. So, they’re doing their sweep early.”

“Seriously. They can’t do anything else,” Sean muttered bitterly. He dug around through his notes, coming up with a new course of action, “You still have time. Get the info and I’ll direct you out of there.”

Alex barely waited for the flashdrive to be ejected properly before she ripped it out of the computer and bolted out the door. Her gun was at the ready the entire time Sean led her past the guards and to her target. Sonya worked overtime to redirect cameras and the men doing their sweep. She had seven minutes left when she finally stumbled into where she was supposed to be. It wasn’t a clean kill, but she was in a rush. The change in the guards’ duty would help her with the cover up.

“Alex, Nikita needs that info. Get out of there and upload it now,” Sean’s frantic warning gave Alex the boost she needed to sprint out of there. She made it back to the woods and the trail that led to her getaway car, and jammed the flashdrive into her phone. The upload was successfully sent off with seconds to spare. Alex, Sonya, and Sean breathed a sigh of relief. They did it. Their side of the mission was complete.

“I think I’m going to take you up on that party, Sean,” Sonya giggled once Alex was safely driving back to the hotel. He was right, they deserved a chance to celebrate. Sure they still had to wait to see if the other team was successful as well. But there was no harm in planning for the best outcome. They could be hopeful for once.

Whereas Sean whooped, Alex hid her laughter with a groan. The three of them worked well together that night. And, dared they say it, they also had fun. They knew what each other needed, especially when that meant switching from silly to serious topics. It wasn’t a surprise how great they were on the mission. Their friendship was already strong out of the field, of course it would lend to an op. They cared for one another as much as they trusted each other. Those were the two things to make a team successful; Sean, Alex, and Sonya had that in spades.


	67. Chapter 67

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set sometime in season 1. Inspired by a story my friend had told me about her and her SO (she gave me permission to use this idea).

It was ironic. Alex called Nikita, worrying about Nathan. He had tried to wake her from a nightmare by shaking her, and she had lashed out and struck him. It was an accident that he laughed off, but she still felt guilty. Nikita advised her to be honest; tell him she was an incredibly light sleeper and not to touch her to wake her. Whereas Alex actually took the advice (even using it for future relationships), Nikita didn’t. They were her own words of wisdom, yet she didn’t follow them. She was never good at following directions, though. 

Michael had decided to spend the night. They parted ways after the mission, her heading back to her loft and him back to Division. There was paperwork and debriefings he had to do, and he didn’t want her to wait up for him. Which then prompted her to entice him to go rogue; there were no after action reports to file if you didn’t work for the government. As always, he shook his head. He was much more valuable as her mole. Regardless, he thought he could go one night without her. He could sleep in his own bed that night. But as he was driving back to his apartment, he realized that wasn’t true. Since they had begun their relationship, he didn’t think he could bear being away from her again. So Michael found himself sneaking into her loft.

Just as expected, Nikita snapped awake at the sound of him entering the room. She muttered a curse, and leveled a weapon she had had by her side at his chest. Michael flashed on the lights, smiling sheepishly, “Hey, it’s me. I just… I sleep better when I’m with you. So, can I spend the night?”

Her answer was to put the weapon back where it belonged, flop back onto the mattress, and throw open the covers for him. Michael grinned brightly. Turning the lights back off, he hurried to undress down to his underwear and lay by Nikita’s side. She nuzzled against him once he got into the small bed with her. He held her tightly in his arms, feeling her fall asleep quickly. The fact that she had already been half asleep helped, as did the study drum of his heartbeat. He dozed off shortly afterwards. The sound of her soft breathing and the weight of her in his arms was his own special lullaby. It wasn’t long before both agents were completely unconscious.

Sometime during the night, Nikita ended up sprawled across the mattress. She took up the majority of the space, pushing Michael slightly out of the cot. He woke somewhat at the feeling, and at the chilled air biting his skin (she had also taken all of the sheets). In movements that wouldn’t have been so clumsy had the couple been more awake, he pulled her on top of him. He meant to give himself more room and more warmth. Instead, he grabbed Nikita’s sleep-heavy body awkwardly and harshly. 

When it came down to fight or flight, she was always one to fight. She would fight tooth and nail to protect herself or others. Yet at that moment, she was all flight. Nikita screamed and thrashed out of Michael’s hold, tumbling to the floor. She backed away from her bed, brown eyes blown wide in fear. He fell out of bed as well, just as terrified. He didn’t think he had ever heard Nikita scream. Michael had heard her gasp in surprise, but never had he heard her scream. He scrambled to her in an attempt to calm her. That was when she did something else he had never witnessed her do- she flinched.

“Nikita. Hey, Nikita. It’s just me,” Stopping his movements, Michael spoke calmly. He figured it must’ve been a nightmare. He knew she had some pretty terrible ones. To help prove his point, he went to turn on her bedside lamp. The light seemed to break Nikita out of her daze. However, her breath still came out in heavy pants. Michael was slower as he approached her that time, “You’re okay. You’re safe.”

“Then why did you grab me like that?” Her voice was small and broken. Quickly, he tried to remember how exactly he had grabbed her. It had been dark, and he was half awake. He was sure it had to have been her legs, though. Before he could come to any conclusion, however, Nikita was shaking her head and muttering, “No. He’s Michael. He would never do that.”

“I would never do what?” Michael was near enough to Nikita to place a soothing hand on her defined bicep. Reassuringly, he ran his fingers along her bronze skin. She let him, not flinching anymore. But she did avert her gaze. Whatever it was, she wasn’t ready to talk about it. He was willing to sit on the floor with her until she was. Nikita drew herself into a tight ball, her forehead resting on her knees. She breathed deeply, fighting away the rest of her fear. It was alright. She was fine. No one was going to hurt her. 

Nikita’s loose sleep shorts rode up because of her position. That allowed Michael to see the wicked roadrash on her upper thigh near her ass. He traced a light touch over the wound, drawing her attention, “Did I grab this and hurt you?”

“It’s fine. Just don’t wear a dress on a mission. It can ride up while you’re being dragged,” She was brushing things off. Michael would have assumed things were back to normal, but her eyes gave her away. She continued to look terrified. 

He could have commented on that, and pried what was wrong out of her. But he decided to wait. He knew she would eventually tell him. Even if that eventually was hours or days from then. Michael put all of his focus on the roadrash on Nikita’s leg, “It’s really hot.”

“Thank you,” A playful smile pulled at her lips. His hand had covered her wound, touching her ass. Drawing attention away from everything that was wrong, she was referring to that fact. He rolled his green eyes.

“I think it’s inflamed. Do you still keep a medkit in your mission bag?” Moving away from Nikita, Michael went to grab some Neosporin. 

She pulled him back to her as she got to her feet, “It’s fine. It’s healing.”

Although he ignored her, she wasn’t going to let him go. Their hands swatted at one another while they fought for the upper hand in the situation. He was determined to help her, despite how stubborn she was to push through on her own. At some point, Michael’s hands came to rest on Nikita’s neck. He gently got her brown eyes to connect to his green. His voice was sincere and soft, “You’re not alone anymore.”

The words sunk in around Nikita. She wasn’t a lone rogue any longer. She knew Alex and Michael were working with her. They were a team. But it was more than that. They were friends; they cared for one another. And, Michael loved her. He had always protected her, but it had become more than that. He would ensure she was alright at all times and in all things. From physical to emotional pains, Michael was going to be there for her. Nikita just had to accept that. 

With a small smile, she relented, “You just want to touch my ass.”

Laughing, he couldn’t help but place a sweet kiss to her forehead, “Is that a yes to the medkit?”

She nodded. While he moved to get the Neosporin, she went to sit on the edge of the bed. They were silent as he applied the antibacterial ointment to soothe her roadrash. He was waiting for her to share with him, and she was waiting to find the courage to. Nikita trusted Michael, she really did. But she had never put a voice to her experiences, only vague references to Alex. It was as good a time as any to tell someone, however. 

“Why did you grab me on the bed,” Nikita started, finding a point to build off of.

“You were hogging the mattress and the sheets. I was trying to move you so we could share. I’m sorry if I hurt you,” After putting the medkit back where he had found it, Michael sat next to her on the cot. She continued to stare at the wall ahead of her, but grabbed his hand tightly.

“You didn’t hurt me. Your hand was nowhere near my roadburn. You just… I woke up when you roughly yanked at my legs and it… I thought I was somewhere else for a second. It’s not your fault,” She struggled to continue. Having Michael by her side calmed her. Yet years of fear and torment kept the words locked in her throat.

“You remember when you found me crying at the target range before the LA op?” Nikita’s sudden topic change threw Michael for a loop. He had to take a moment to catch up with her thoughts before he could nod at the memory. Her breath was rattled as she drew it in, “I was having a panic attack over the same reason I jumped out of bed. Just… being forced to do things I don’t want to. Being forced in beds…”

Although she dropped off, Michael knew where her sentence was going. He was aware that his words wouldn’t have been enough to comfort her. So he wrapped her up securely in his arms. He cradled her head in his hands, massaging at her scalp. Nikita buried her face into his neck, and held onto him as tightly as she could. She needed to borrow his strength. Her voice had dropped to a whisper, yet he managed to hear her say “Gary used to touch…”

Sudden tears choked her. She clung even fiercer onto Michael, biting her lip against the sob building in her chest. He rubbed a reassuring hand up and down Nikita’s spine, and breathed tender words into her hair. He understood. It all came back to Gary and Division. She was bounced from one so called family to the next, both using her, betraying her trust, and making her into something she never wanted to be. He would be furious and rage about that fact later. At the moment, she needed him to be comforting. And that was exactly what he was going to be.

It was a long moment before Nikita calmed down. She didn't move away from Michael, however she did loosen her hold. He continued to rub circles into her back and speak gently, “I’m sorry, Nik. I’ll wake you up next time you hog the blankets. Okay?”

“Okay,” It was a watery tear filled laugh, yet it was a laugh nonetheless. Nikita didn’t want to sleep after all of that. Michael agreed, suggesting they simply lay down and continue talking; it’d be healthier than bottling it up for so many years. Because he was Michael, she accepted the plan. For once Nikita would open up about her past. But she wouldn’t be hesitant or terrified. Not with Michael caring for her heart as lovingly as he did. 


	68. Chapter 68

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An Auish for season 3, since I had to fudge the timeline to make this work. Inspired by a comment on Fanfiction about a Halloween story.

Michael sighed as he knocked on Sean Pierce’s front door. He wasn’t hesitant about the Halloween movie night, though he wished it didn’t involve wearing a costume. Alex had insisted on that; if they were going to have pizza and watch movies on Halloween, they had to dress up. They all agreed to the idea in varying degrees of excitement. Not one to really go all out for the holidays, Michael just threw on a baseball jersey and hat he already had. It would appease Alex, and leave him comfortable enough to recline on the couch during the movie. However, Nikita wasn’t a fan of his idea. That night was their chance to break free and act silly for a chance. He shrugged her off, claiming hanging out with their friends was crazy enough. Naturally she retaliated and made a point to prove him wrong.

“Hey, Michael. Never would’ve guessed you as an Astros fan,” Sean commented when he opened his apartment door. He was dressed in his normal button down and slacks. He simply added a cape and some fake fangs for the vampire effect.

“I’m from New Orleans, what do you expect?” Shrugging, Michael entered the apartment. He moved fast, hoping Sean wouldn’t notice Nikita standing behind him as his shadow. But he did, and he immediately burst into laughter. She hid her proud smile with a smirk, striding inside like she owned the place. Her eyes roamed the decorated apartment, as though she were studying the layout for a mission. Michael rolled his eyes at her antics, “Nice place, man.”

Sean was too busy laughing to respond to the compliment. Closing the door, he waved the couple towards the kitchen where the others were talking. Nikita led the way with her hands in her pockets. Micheal sighed once more, already done for the night. He had set himself up for her costume, however; he had to live with it. Alex was the first to notice her best friend. Giggling uncontrollably, she squealed, “I can’t believe you actually did it. You even have the beard and everything.”

Nikita did go all out, like she always did. Her dark hair was tied up out of her face, which was heavily made up with a fake beard. She wore a black suit, sensible shoes, a gray blouse, and a long leather jacket. Michael hadn’t wanted to wear a costume, so she was going to for the both of them- by pretending to be him. Their friends in the kitchen lost it at just the sight of her imitating her fiancé. Clearing her throat, Nikita did her best to lower her voice, “Of course, Alex. I take everything very seriously.”

Pulling the brim of his hat down, Michael reached for a beer in the cooler. Birkhoff choked on some candy corn he had shoved in his mouth, beaming at how many taunts he had, “Guys, can you help me out here? I’m seeing double the Mikey’s.”

“It’s probably from all that screentime, Birkhoff,” Still using her gruff voice, Nikita replied. She was fighting back her own giggle as the others laughed again. She was having too much fun teasing Michael like that. Later, she’d reassure him and promise that it was out of love. But at that moment, she was going to play her role very seriously- just like him. 

“You’re one to joke about costumes. You’re in tights,” In an attempt to move the conversation off of him and Nikita, Michael commented on Birkhoff’s attire. Sure enough, he was in tights; well, tight sweatpants. He was dressed as the videogame character Link. The hat, shoes, tunic, and toy sword were all perfect. The only thing he didn’t fully commit on, were the tights. Not that anyone, except Sonya, was complaining.

Birkhoff was quick to defend himself, pulling the loose pants as proof, “I’m not wearing tights. It’s those soccer sweatpants things that are tighter than normal ones.”

“I think it’s cute,” Alex supported him, working on unwrapping another chocolate bar, “He’s at least in a couple’s costume.”

Her statement was directed towards Sean, followed by a glare. He shrugged his shoulders and popped open a beer, “You’re a witch. I’m a vampire. That’s close enough.”

It wasn’t really. Whereas Sean’s vampire look was simplistic, Alex went all out on her witch costume. She had the classic hat covered in cobwebs. Her curled brown hair was decorated with fake spiders, and her nails were decorated with long press-ons. And the dress she wore was the perfect Morticia Addams look. Alex had loved Halloween as a kid, that night was her chance to feel that excitement of dressing up and eating candy again. So, of course she was going to wear an elaborate costume. It didn’t matter how everyone else felt about it.

“So that makes you Zelda,” Nikita turned towards Sonya, regarding her outfit. She wore a long scarf, a headcovering, leggings, athletic shirt, boots, and some kind of armor. The agents weren’t as videogame savvy as the nerds, but they had some general knowledge of popular games and series. They knew enough to figure Birkhoff was Link and, if he and Sonya were in a couple’s costume, she was Zelda. Her outfit, however, didn’t appear like any version of the character they had ever seen.

“Kind of. I’m Zelda as Sheik, her warrior alter ego,” Sonya explained just as there was another knock on the door. Sean went to answer it, while the others nodded in understanding. It made more sense for her to dress as the warrior princess than just the standard princess. Leading Ryan and Owen back to the kitchen, Sean returned with the pizzas the men had picked up. Everyone was more excited about the food than their friends, but Ryan shrugged it off and dove into the dinner with them.

Owen, on the other hand, was miffed at the idea of being ignored, “We bring the most important part of the party, and you guys don’t care.”

Nikita looked him up and down in his store-bought mad scientist costume, and in her best impression of Michael yet replied, “Yeah.”

Michael chuckled around his bite of pizza. He was growing on her costume idea then. After taking a few moments to eat, talk, and tease some more (Ryan’s ‘costume’ was just a trenchcoat and his claim that he was Sherlock Holmes), the group of friends moved to the livingroom to watch the movie Sean had picked out for them. They brought the pizza, snacks, and drinks with them to continue eating, setting them on the coffee table. The problem, however, was that there didn’t seem to be enough seats for the eight of them. Ryan chuckled at that fact, “Great planning ahead.”

“No shit Sherlock. But in my defense, I didn’t know two Michael’s would be coming,” Sean shrugged, trying to come up with some kind of solution. Ryan helped by dragging a chair in from the dining room to sit in.

“It’s okay, the two Michael’s will sit together,” Nikita pulled her fiancé into the sizable chair with her. They found a comfortable position for them both to sit in and not cause the other to lose feeling in their legs. She glanced up at him while in his arms, smiling brightly. 

He shook his head, “I’m not kissing you while you’re dressed like me.”

“Coward,” Laughing at Nikita’s remark, the other couples took their lead and curled together on the couch. Except, they did kiss one another sweetly. Alex was more or less in Sean’s lap, as was Sonya in Birkhoff’s, yet it worked. Owen resigned himself to sitting on the floor with some pillows thrown off of the sofa to make more room.

“So what movie we watching?” Birkhoff questioned once everyone was situated.

Sean turned on the TV, flipping through his recordings until he found the selection, “Since you guys don’t wanna watch anything gory, I settled on a more tame horror film.”

Looks were exchanged around the room while they attempted to figure out what that meant. When he played  _ Psycho _ , however, they relaxed. It was a classic they had either seen before or knew about. Also, it wasn’t much of a horror film- more thriller than anything. The friends ended up talking through most of it as they continued to eat and drink. Nikita kept up her deep voice for a bit longer, but eventually dropped it when she began to cough. It really was a night to break free and act silly with one another. Moments like that were rare, especially as of late. It was nice to relax and fool around with friends. They could always make each other feel joyful and happy


	69. Chapter 69

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set during 1x11 "All the Way." Inspired by the fact the Nikita escape scenes are my favorite throughout the entire series. And the longer working and schooling at home goes on, the more I'm fixating on old childhood obsessions.

She was never any good at keeping time. Depending on what she was doing, it either ran too slow or too fast. Twenty minutes was a long time for her to keep track of. She had to focus for that long on a countdown. The last time she had to do that, she almost died. Granted, the poison she had been injected with didn’t have a specific time table. But on missions in the past when she had to be aware of the time, she always struggled. She was lucky to have someone screaming in her ear to get her to refocus. Practicing yoga over the years had helped her settle her mind, and be more conscious of time. However, yoga didn’t have too many distractors. Chained to the ceiling of a Division sublevel had many things to force her mind to wander.

The taunts were easy to ignore. She had been throwing out sarcastic quips since she could talk. Her mouth moved of its own accord to hurl an insult. No thinking required. She could continue to run a countdown in her mind. That helped to focus on time instead of Percy or Amanda. She wouldn’t get wrapped up in their twisted words and malicious mind games. Her mind was clear and calculating. The timer was running down fluidly, while she thought of the perfect way to escape.

All of that went out the window, however, when Amanda showed her Daniel. She was thrown back in time to lying in his bed begging for him to run away with her. And he had accepted. He was willing to fall off the edge of the world with her, all in the sake of love. She never had anyone in her life like that before. Someone so willing to do anything for her. She was swept up in it. It made her feel safe and loved; something she had only fleetingly experienced before. The tears flowed out of her wounded brown eyes without any attempt to stop them. They had to be felt and endured. The grief was a strong and potent emotion that gripped her heart and never let go.

That was his home. She should have been safe there; he should have been safe there. Yet Division corrupted it, like they had always done. Daniel was a civilian- an innocent. He didn’t deserve to have a target put on his back. Except she had put it there. No. Division had put it there. They claimed family and protection, but they were hurtful and vindictive. They’d do anything to keep their pawns in line and the chessboard under their control. That wasn’t a family. That was a dysfunctional, evil, deplorable antagonism.

Amanda snapped her back to reality by calling her a killer. That was who she was, and that was all she would ever be. A killer. She’d show her. She was much more than that. She was something to fear. It was almost divine intervention how her mind was able to jump back to the correct time in her countdown. She had thirty seconds left to solidify the plan in her head and prove Amanda wrong. She wasn’t going to lose track that time. So as the ‘inquisitor’ went on her reprimand of fighting fire with fire and saving innocents, she muttered her time to herself.

Ten, nine, eight, “Right now, I’d be wondering about who’s going to save you.”

Three, two, one, the C4 exploded in the air vent above her. The ceiling was cracked, lessening the bolts of the chains. It took all of her strength to pull herself up. Her biceps strained at the effort, but with an added kick of her legs the chains snapped. She fell to the ground with a thud that took her a second to recover from. Yet that was alright. Her actions had startled Amanda. Good. Let her be the one who was thrown off guard for once. Shouting, she ran out of the room to remove herself from any danger. She was always the one for self preservation at the expense of others, “She’s loose.”

Yes Nikita was. And you’d better run. Nikita wrapped her chains around her hands, swinging them at the oncoming guards. They weren’t prepared for her, and dropped unconscious. Scrambling for their keys to free herself, Nikita wasn’t able to go after Amanda. As much as she wanted to, that couldn't have been her concern at the moment. Alarms were blaring and she had to get out of there as quickly as she could. Hopefully, Alex had managed to secure the silo as she had the C4.

She didn’t know what kind of fate led her to run past medical. It was the fastest route she could take undiscovered. Yet there he was. Michael. Laid up in a cot with a bullet wound in his thigh. Nikita couldn’t help herself while she sprinted past. The second she spotted him, she froze. Her eyes roamed his body, pleading that he was alright; that he was safe. His own deep green studied her, shocked and confused that she was there. For a moment he thought she was some kind of pain induced hallucination. That he was seeing something so painful and beautiful, yet so terribly out of reach.

Except the alarms helped to focus Michael on the realities of the situation. Nikita was really there. And she was in danger. She had to get out of there. He couldn’t protect her anymore. It was silent, but she asked him for a second. If he wouldn’t come with her, then at least give her a second head start. It was silent, but he agreed. Nikita took off running again, always running, as Michael turned to fall off the cot. She was lucky he was shot. It would help him cover how slow he was to report her. He knew he could’ve limped faster to the phone. Yet he’d move slow for her. He was all too aware of what she could do in just a matter of seconds.

“Nikita’s on five,” Michael paused, in a pretense to catch his breath. Come on Nikita, capitalize off of these few seconds. Be safe, “Moving to the central elevator. Lock it down.” 

The elevator stopping on the training floor in front of ops was near kismet. There she was back where it all began. It was surreal. It looked exactly as she had left it. There were just new faces in the crowd of used and abused pawns. For a moment, she was a recruit again calculating how she was going to survive in that hell. A shout of her name cut through the fog. It was go time. She had the element of surprise on her hands, as well as years of training inside and out of Division. Nikita knew their moves. She knew what to expect and how to counter. She also knew how to improvise. A throw of a weight, the use of another recruit, some techniques they were never taught were all in her arsenal.

Percy watching from his impenetrable fortress was taunting. It made Nikita’s blood boil. As long as the black boxes were still out there, she couldn’t touch him. But she could show him, just as she had Amanda. She would show him just who he was dealing with, what she was capable of. Her name sparked fear among agents and recruits. And it’d spark fear in him too. Of course bullets at bulletproof glass weren't going to startle him. Yet her final explosion would. The way to beat Percy’s games was to never play them. And Nikita just won.

At least for a while she thought she had. She had made it to the hallway with the entrance to the silo. She and Alex could get out. They’d be free together. Except there was a gunshot. And a body draped over the young woman. No. No it couldn’t be. They were supposed to be safe. Her voice dropped into a plea. She couldn’t lose anyone else, “Alex.”

But she was getting up. Nikita could see her moving slowly away from the body. She ran to her, falling to her knees by her side. She had to know if she was alright, “Alex.”

It was the agent, Thom, who was shot. Not Alex, thank god. He was laying on the ground bleeding out. There was nothing anyone could have done for him. The light was already fading out of his eyes. He was gone. Nikita told Alex as much. They had to go. He was lost, but they could still live if they left immediately. Alex was stubborn, however. She was going to stay with her dying friend. She was going to handle the mole situation on her own. She had it. She could do it. Nikita believed the determination burning in her blue eyes. She knew Alex could do anything she set her mind to. And her mind was set on that. 

With a promise of vengeance, and a new way to contact, Nikita ran once more on her own. In the air vent, out the silo, and into the open air. It shocked her that it was still daylight outside. She thought she was in that hellhole for hours. Not just one. But she didn’t have the time to revel in the light, or let the cool breeze wash over her bronze skin. Who knew what was out there waiting for her. She had to keep going- always moving, never stopping. Until her mission was complete. Once it was, she’d have all the time in the world to relax in the sun and breathe in the air.


	70. Chapter 70

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set pre-series after Nikita saved Alex. Inspired by the fact that the butterfly tattoo had so much meaning, I think she got it while sober.

“Where’d you get that?” Nikita’s tattoo on her hip made her ask. The line art and design looked too high-end to have been a back alley stick and poke, and too expensive for a junkie to have afforded. She must have gotten it in her Division days, or her time after. Nikita was startled by her questions at first. In her defense, she did ask while she was changing. The woman wasn’t expecting any comments about her body while she pulled on a pair of pants. But Nikita intrigued her. She made her curious and wanted to ask a million questions. She hadn’t met anyone like the woman. She wanted to know everything about her.

“Uh. A shop downtown. Why, Alex?” Nikita buttoned her jeans, and pulled on a loose t-shirt she had thrown on the bed. Alex had been staying with her, training and learning for a couple weeks. They had started to become more accustomed to one another, as they got to know more about them. There were still things that surprised them however. They were still strangers. 

“It’s beautiful,” Alex decided to say. She was striving to be more honest around Nikita. She didn’t have any reason to lie anymore. Nikita wasn’t trying to get something from her, she didn’t need to keep her guard up all the time. She could relax, which was a weird feeling to have. Alex couldn’t remember the last time she could relax. Hell, she couldn’t remember the last time she had that clear of a head. She had Nikita to thank for that.

“Thanks,” Nikita beamed at her. It was a genuine smile that brought a small one out of Alex. Along with being more honest and relaxing, she was attempting to smile more. She was in a better situation. She could afford to smile. Nikita continued talking about her tattoo, seemingly relieved that they had a point of conversation that wasn’t layered or heavy, “It’s a phoenix.”

“Like the whole bird from fire thing,” Alex wondered. It would make sense for Nikita to have permanently branded the legendary creature to her body. From what she had told her about her life inside Division, she had definitely risen from the ashes and become something magnificent.

“No. The Arizona thing.”

Her joke about the state went right over the poor Russian’s head. The young woman stared at her in confusion. She had no idea what Nikita was talking about. But that just made her laugh. It was soft and gentle, and it wasn’t meant to poke fun. She was simply surprised by Alex’s reaction, “We gotta catch you up on your education.”

“Oh like you have some kind of prestigious degree or something,” Crossing her arms, Alex went on the defense. 

Nikita glanced at her as she brushed her hair. Alex couldn’t quite read her expression, but she figured it was some kind of pity. That was how most people looked at her anyway. The woman shrugged at her, flashing a grin, “All right. I’ll catch up too. It’d be good for us.”

Alex was continuously thrown by her. She never did anything she expected. Nikita saved her and offered her a new life without wanting anything in return. People always wanted something from her. They used her for their own desires or needs. But not Nikita. She was genuine with Alex. Although it threw her off, it did settle her. The honesty helped her relax and open up, “Okay. So are we gonna start immediately? Or can we have summer vacation first?”

Laughing, Nikita put down her brush and moved to her computer, “We can have a break as I shop for an online school to hack into.”

The young woman watched the older for a moment. Alex had been organizing some things Nikita had bought for her- clothes, toiletries, some books. But she had become more interested in her. She abandoned her few belongings by her bed, and went to join her at the computer. Alex noticed the other tattoos on Nikita’s forearms. She had seen them before while she was learning to fight. But upon closer inspection, she could see that the lines were different from her phoenix. They appeared less clear and fluid, “Did you get these at the shop downtown too?”

“Oh no. These were definitely ‘I’m high and my buddy’s got a tattoo gun’ kind of stuff,” How cavalier Nikita was about the topic made Alex laugh. Her giggle sounded weird to her own ears; she hadn’t heard it in so long. But it was freeing to laugh out loud and unencumbered. Alex’s enjoyment made Nikita brighten. She continued with the happy feeling, sharing more of her story, “We had a deal. I steal him food, he gives me a tattoo.”

She continued to laugh, gripping onto the chair as she doubled over. The tale wasn’t that hysterical, yet it was something Alex could relate to. She had her own wild stories from when she was high she could tell. She wasn’t ready to at the moment. But the fact that Nikita had healed from her experiences and could look back on them humorously, gave her hope. She’d heal enough to be at that point someday. 

“Is that how you got your’s?” Laughing lightly along with her, Nikita asked about the two tattoos Alex had.

Shaking her head, Alex had to take a second to collect herself, “No. I went to a shady tattoo parlor with questionable people like a normal person.”

The two burst out into laughter. So maybe Alex could joke about her experiences- well, kind of. She just shared a little bit with Nikita, but it felt as though it was a big step. The leap didn’t scare her, however. She felt comfortable with her. Probably because they had a lot in common. Nikita could understand Alex, and she had a way of making her feel better both physically and emotionally. 

“Well I at least have one from a respectable place,” Nikita smirked, abandoning what she was doing on the computer. She’d have time to sign them up for online classes later. Talking with Alex was more important. 

“I might have one soon too,” Alex blurted. She hadn’t meant to share her thoughts, but she didn’t regret that she did. She had been thinking for a while about a friend she had at the brothel. She had always loved butterflies, claimed they had transformative powers. A butterfly symbolized a second chance. And that was what Alex had. She was given a second chance to live, to do something with her life. She could live for all of those she had lost. She wanted to commemorate that.

“Oh? You want another tattoo?” Nikita appeared generally interested in the idea. Alex barely had time to nod her answer, when she grabbed her hand and took off, “Well come on then. Let’s go get one.”

“Seriously? Now?” The young woman was taken aback, shuffling her feet as she was dragged along.

“What better way to bond then to get a tattoo,” She smiled daringly. And off the two went on their first adventure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading! :)


	71. Chapter 71

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set between 2x21 "Dead Drop" and 2x22 "Crossbow". Inspired by a funny video I saw.

“I’m gonna tackle him,” Nikita whispered to Alex when they had walked back inside. The team had settled into their new safehouse, continuing to fight and train. Shadownet was searching for any hits on Division and Percy. Kendrick and Ryan were working on some sort of plan against any possible attack. Sean was healing from his bullet wound. Michael and Birkhoff were boxing. And the women had gone on a run. It was odd to have down time while Percy was out there planning whatever evil he was. But they were doing what they could at the time. Sometimes what they could do was simply take a moment to relax and play around.

Alex bit back a giggle as she watched Nikita creep towards Michael. He was distracted by his sparring match with Birkhoff, so she had an easy time sneaking up behind him. However as she made a dive at his legs, he hooked his arm around the nerd’s neck and turned around. She had to readjust her takedown while he glanced at her in confusion, “What are you doing?”

Ignoring him, Nikita grabbed onto Michael’s legs. He was expecting her, though, and pulled away. Birkhoff was unfortunately still in his hold, “Why am I being taken for the ride?”

Nikita finally managed to lock hold of Michael’s knees. She pushed forward to take him down, yet he wrapped his free arm around her and lifted her up instead. Alex couldn’t help the screech of laughter that erupted out of her. Michael held Nikita upside down in one arm, and had Birkhoff in a loose chokehold in another. It seemed so easy for him; he even flashed a proud smile at the fact. Birkhoff was resigned to his fate, not fighting out of the hold. Nikita, on the other hand, attempted to break his grasp. She wasn’t trying too hard, her giggles had overcome her. Eventually she was set back down, but he continued to hold onto her.

“Anyone else wanna try something?” Michael flashed his trademark smirk. The others rolled their eyes at his cockiness. They couldn’t say anything to contradict him, however. So, Nikita settled on showing him. 

She broke both herself and the nerd from his arms, and circled around him fists at the ready, “Come on, Nerd. Two against one.”

“Nikki’s on my side now. You scared yet Mikey?” Birkhoff was much more confident in his fighting abilities with Nikita fighting alongside him. She could take Michael down, while he provided support as needed. As the three of them sparred, Alex sat on the edge of the couch and watched. There were things she could have learned by studying their movements and strikes. Also, she could laugh witnessing Nikita and Michael struggle as Birkhoff stood uselessly to the side. He’d supply a punch here or there, but it was mostly the agents wrestling one another.

Somehow, Nikita ended up on Michael’s back while Birkhoff threw punches. He found himself on the losing side of the match, “Hey, Alex. Could use a little help.”

Unfortunately for Michael, Nikita and Alex made eye contact. A silent conversation passed between the women. Nikita got Michael to turn away from the couch. She tightened her legs around his waist, and held her hands out behind her. Alex quickly stood on the furniture, jumping onto her friend’s back. Nikita managed to grab onto her and help her adjust into the position. Surprised, Michael wobbled under the sudden added weight. He caught himself before he could fall back, wrapping his arms around to better support the two.

“How are you this strong?” Chuckling, Birkhoff stepped out of Michael’s way. He couldn’t stand still with both Alex and Nikita clinging to his back; he had to take a few steps to keep his momentum forward. Otherwise, he’d have fallen back and all three of them would have gotten hurt.

“It’s called eating your vegetables,” Nikita replied with a quick flex of her biceps. Although she was holding on tightly to Michael by her powerful thighs, she had Alex in her hands. A two person piggyback was awkward and difficult to maintain. She was doing her best to help keep themselves upright.

Birkhoff crossed his arms and scoffed at her. He wasn’t going to help them if they fell then, “I’m not drinking your veggie shakes. They’re gross, disgusting, and wrong.”

“He has a point,” Alex agreed, earning her a pinch from Nikita. She squirmed at the discomfort, and Michael pitched back. He let go of the women to stabilize himself, but that just caused the two to move even more to stay upright. Pulling Nikita down with her, Alex slipped off to the ground. She hadn’t quite untangled her legs from Michael’s waist, so he fell as well. The three laid on the ground laughing and apologizing. Although he rolled his eyes, Birkhoff laughed along with them.

Sean and Ryan had walked into the living room when they had collapsed. Whereas Ryan shrugged it off, Sean stared in shock, “I used to be afraid of this team?”

The team in question continued to lay on the floor and play fight, dragging the nerd down to their level. They threw shrieks, laughter, and taunts as they wrestled around. Ryan smiled at their antics, and went to the kitchen for the glass of water he had left his room for. Sean followed hopelessly confused, “I mean. I lied awake at night stressing about them hurting my mother. Or destroying the country or whatever. And they spend their free time like this?”

“This is nothing. Yesterday while you were sleeping off your pain meds, Alex and Nikita fought along to the  _ Mulan _ soundtrack. Like, full on matching the beat of the songs and everything. Michael and Birkhoff were even singing along,” Ryan shared the memory fondly. It was never a dull moment in the safehouse. Whenever he was locked away in his room studying files over for too long, he could escape out into the living room to watch his friends do some wild things. The strangeness and hilarity allowed him to relax and not think too much. He really needed that at times.

Eyeing the pain meds he kept on the counter, Sean shook his head, “I think I’m done with these. Those guys are enough of a trip.”

“You bet we are,” Alex’s voice startled him. She, Nikita, Michael, and Birkhoff had stopped fooling around, and had come into the kitchen for water and rest. Hopping up on the counter, Nikita stole Ryan’s bottle to take a sip from. He rolled his eyes, and grabbed more from the fridge to pass out.

Michael took the one handed out to him with a nod of thanks, “Whatcha you guys up to?” 

“Rethinking my life choices,” Sean’s answer made the others laugh. They all nodded in agreement, having been there before. The life they had chosen was insane. Sometimes they had to sit back and reevaluate just exactly what they were doing. Most of those times did happen after they were seriously injured.

“Welcome to the team, my guy,” Birkhoff clapped Sean on the back in encouragement. Whether he liked it or not, he was officially a member of their ragtag team. He decided he liked it, as they continued to talk and tease each other. Their camaraderie was great. Not only could the team kick ass together, they could also hang out and have fun; they even welcomed newcomers into their shenanigans. It was no wonder the team had gained so many allies. They were pure of action, and heart.


	72. Chapter 72

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set after 3x10 "Brave New World". Inspired by Only Place We've Ever Had Any Fun chapters 6 & 7\. For those who have not read those, Mikita and Salex spar and have sex in Division.

It was a fairly quiet morning in ops. Alex and Nikita were creating a battle plan. Birkhoff and Sonya were improving on their tech. Ryan and Michael were pouring over files and information. And Sean and Owen had gone on a coffee run for everybody. Division didn’t have the most drinkable coffee (or even the most edible food), so the men decided they had to go out and get some. The team had a long day of paperwork and planning ahead of them. They needed a solid pick-me-up. 

Owen passed out the various orders of coffee, striving to remember whose order belonged to who. Sean just plopped down the bag of pastries on the table; they could grab one if they wanted. However, no one moved from their spots. Everyone was preoccupied in what they were doing to notice their food or drinks. The Seal wanted to break that focus, “Has anyone ever died inside of Division?”

There was a long pause as the team tore their eyes away from their work to glance at him in confusion. Nikita was the first to break the silence, grabbing her drink and turning to face Sean completely, “I don’t know if you hit your head while you were gone. But yeah. Lots of people have. You know, like Percy.”

Before he had a chance to explain exactly what he had meant, Alex was adding on to the statement quietly, “And Thom.”

“And the Engineer,” Birkhoff chimed in with a shudder at the memory.

“And Baker,” Sonya voiced bitterly. 

“Some agents that died from their wounds in medical. And a couple of guards after an attack,” Michael continued the list. He studied Sean over, attempting to solve why he had asked. It was a seemingly random question, especially since he should’ve already known the answer. 

In an attempt to recover himself, Sean passed around the bag of goodies for the team to take. That appeared to remove some of the curious scowls, “I meant, has any malicious spirit passed on here?

“What?” Owen nearly choked on a doughnut. His reaction, however, was drowned out by Nikita, Sonya, and Michael reiterating their answers from before. The others nodded in agreement. There were good agents within Division, ones that were like them and had been used and abused by the black ops group. But there were also bad seeds that had overwhelmed the operation. Luckily, most of them were long gone. 

Birkhoff thought over his answer for a second, taking a bite of a danish, “I don’t think the engineer was too bad. He seemed pretty chill with me.”

“Yeah. I kinda liked him,” Alex agreed. As she took a drink of her coffee, the nerd shot her a puzzled look. She quickly explained, “Right. I was spying on you in the air vent. Nikita’s orders.”

Nikita just shrugged and drank her over caffeinated beverage, when eyes turned to her. She didn’t need to explain; it was during her rouge days. She made a lot of questionable choices then. It wouldn’t do anyone any good to dwell on her past decisions. Meanwhile, Ryan was trying to wrap his head around Sean’s line of questioning. It had to have been going somewhere, he simply couldn’t figure it out, “Let’s back up a bit. Sean, why are you asking us this?”

Sean was relieved the conversation turned back to him. He was seriously wondering something, but his lack of a better phrase caused the topic to derail from him. Clearing his throat, he finally said, “I think Division’s haunted.”

The team immediately burst out into laughter. They thought the idea was ridiculous. They had seen enough of the world to know that the evil they experienced came from other people, not spirits. Humans were to blame for the wickedness they were striving to defeat. Alex walked over to Sean, and gave him a comforting kiss on the cheek, “You need to cut back on the horror movies, Hun.”

“I’m serious. A couple days ago when we were here alone we heard that crashing noise,” Sean defended himself, searching around the room for any kind of support. He found none. 

Ryan at least considered the idea, “I do hear weird things when I stay late.”

“That’s ‘cause you’re sleep deprived. Go home,” Nikita commanded. Although the analyst shot her an annoyed look, Michael told him the same. They were able to tell whenever he had spent the night in his office. It was concerning how often he had done so. The team had gotten better at storming into his office and dragging him out of there. He was slowly getting the hint that they’d do anything to make certain he was healthy and well.

“The hum of Division gets to you, man,” With a wave of his hands, Birkhoff referred to the steady sound the underground bunker seemed to make. It was bound to drive someone insane if they listened to it long enough. The team was fortunate that they had homes they could go to when they needed to escape from the hum and confining space of Division.

“Why were you two here alone anyway?” Owen asked Sean and Alex around his second doughnut. Strange noises in the middle of the night, he could understand. Why the couple would choose to spend their night underground, not so much.

Alex answered for both herself and Sean, choosing her words carefully, “Our sleep schedule was thrown after the latest mission. So we decided to spar and blow off steam until we were exhausted enough for sleep.”

Whereas it was an acceptable explanation for everyone, Nikita gasped on the coffee she had just chugged. She coughed so violently, Michael had to come over and rub her back to settle her. Although her team became concerned and attempted to ask what was wrong, the agent waved them away. There were tears in her eyes by the time she was able to catch her breath. Birkhoff laughed at her, shaking his head, “This is why you don’t give Nikki coffee. She gets too excited.”

“I think it’s because we were sparring that night too,” Michael stated before Nikita could hurl an insult at the nerd. But his response wasn’t what she had wanted. She subtly stepped on his foot, and gave him a look. It took him a moment to comprehend what she was silently telling him. Once he did, he hurriedly added, “You must’ve heard us in the old training room.”

“Can sound carry from the old gym to the new one?” Sonya wondered, scrutinizing the story. Michael and Nikita were hiding behind their drinks, avoiding eye contact with everyone. The couple knew the source of the sound the Seal claimed he had heard. But they weren’t willing to share it with the others. 

“But we weren’t in the training room then. We had… oh. So you… did you…” Sean spluttered when he realized what was going on. Alex had caught on with him, ducking her head so her hair could hide her blush. The two couples turned away from each other, not able to maintain eye contact. 

The rest of their team was puzzled by their actions. An awkward silence settled over ops as everyone either tried to push past the moment or understand it. Owen was the one to voice his idea on the matter, not caring how crass it sounded, “You can tell us if you heard each other have sex. We’re all adults.”

Birkhoff throwing his empty cup at Owen proved they weren’t all adults. The nerd had had enough of the couples’ antics when he was forced to share a safehouse with them. Since he was in his own space, he didn’t want to get involved in their drama anymore. Ryan agreed with him, facing Nikita, Michael, Alex, and Sean in disappointment, “Stop having sex in the recruit rooms. We can’t afford to keep having the sheets cleaned.”

While the couples defended themselves, claiming that they had cleaned the sheets on their own and had even cleaned the sweaty mats in the training rooms, Owen laughed. He didn’t think he would ever get over their ridiculousness. Birkhoff and Sonya remained strangely quiet during all of that. They knew they couldn’t say anything; they were just as much at fault as the others. Eventually, Nikita had enough of the topic, “You know what, Ryan. You should be grateful there’s beds for us. We could be doing it on a desk, or a table.”

Ryan glared at her, taking his hand off of the table she had just indicated with her reply, “I think we should go back to work.”

“Please,” Alex dove back into the planning she had been doing, grateful for the escape. The rest of the team returned to their work as well. It wasn’t a quiet morning any longer, but that seemed more fitting for the team. They weren't ones for simple and peaceful. They were a wild, rowdy bunch that had an overwhelming penchant for mischief.


	73. Chapter 73

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set pre-series in Nikita's Division Days, then after 3x01 "3.0". Inspired by the fact that Nikita knows the most about Michael.

“The name’s Michaels. Michael Michaels,” Nikita leaned against the balcony next to her handler, their shoulders brushing softly. Michael was dressed in a tux for the latest Division mission at some black tie affair, and Nikita was enjoying all the _James Bond_ references she could hurl at him. She had even brought him a martini at some point, though it was mostly an excuse to pass off the intel she had gathered. There were a number of agents that night besides them, performing different jobs to ensure they got the information they needed and the target went down. Michael was allowed a moment to himself outside on the balcony of the estate. Nikita had found him and burst his bubble of isolation, however. 

“You really think my last name’s ‘Michaels’?” He spared a glance at his agent, a small grin pulling at his lips. Michael’s role for the night was to be an extra pair of eyes and ears. He’d mingle with the party guests, as he listened and watched for anything that could throw off their plans. However, his green eyes kept landing on Nikita. She was dressed tantalizingly in a little black dress, aiming to seduce intel from the target. But that wasn’t necessarily what kept catching his eye. It was the ease and confidence in which she moved around the room. She knew exactly what she was capable of and the power and beauty she radiated. The sight of her was intoxicating. Michael had to excuse himself to separate from the thoughts of her that had invaded his mind.

“I figured your life was so tragically boring, that was why you don’t talk about your past,” She nudged his shoulder, flashing him a smirk. Despite the fact that the handler knew everything about his recruits and agents, they knew nothing about him. Well, nothing about his past. Nikita knew a lot about him in the present. She knew he wasn’t a fan of the ‘mission for hire’ jobs. Although they were taking out a bad guy, their latest op wasn’t necessarily sanctioned by the government. She also knew that though he was outside away from everybody else, he kept his com on to hear the strike that was about to happen upstairs. And, she knew he didn’t drink a single drop of the alcohol she had brought him when she passed off the information she extracted from the target. As of late, Nikita had been able to read Michael like a book. Ever since she had graduated to agent, he seemed to have dropped his guard around her.

“Well you’re right. There’s nothing exciting bout an only child growing up in Louisiana with smoker parents who pass away from their habit while you’re in college,” Michael supplied the information effortlessly. It was vague, but it was the most he had shared with anyone. There was something about Nikita that made it comfortable and easy to open up. Maybe it was the way her brown eyes looked at him; they were earnest and understanding. Or maybe it was how she could always make him feel more at ease. Either way, talking to her felt as natural as breathing.

“So you went to college, huh?” Nikita jumped onto the shred of his past he had shared. It made him roll his eyes again and sigh. She shrugged, “What? I already knew bout Louisiana. I spied that Fleur-de-lis tattoo on your bicep while we were sparring. You should wear t-shirts more often, by the way. Show everyone you’re not ‘serious Michael’ all the time.”

“So I should just be ‘sarcastic Nikita’ then?” Leaning into her, Michael teased. Nikita glared up at him, and gave him a light shove. However, she hadn’t yet learned how to control her strength. She was great at hand to hand combat, using everything she had at her disposal to take down a target. Yet, she wasn’t too great at turning that off. Her light touch was a normal person’s hard. He grunted at the pressure, rubbing his chest.

“How’d you go from college to CIA anyway? Were you recruited or did you apply?” Nikita ignored his reaction, and continued her questioning of his past. Michael wasn’t that startled by her CIA assumption. He had advanced through Division differently than the others had. Since the black ops unit worked closely with the Agency, it was natural to guess that he had been one of their agents. But she was wrong, as shockingly rare as that was. And he couldn’t wait to rub that fact in her face.

“Naval intelligence actually,” Michael’s trademark smirk bloomed across his features. He thought he had Nikita there. He had finally shown her up in something other than some sparring matches. She surprised him, however, as she always seemed to be able to. She beamed a brilliant smile at him, drifting even closer to his side.

“So you were a sailor. Oh I’d give anything to see you in that little sailor uniform,” Her eyes raked over him devilishly. Nikita didn’t actually think he had one, considering his position in the Navy. But it was still fun to imagine her handler in the traditional uniform. Michael actually laughed at her enthusiasm. It was small, and more of a breath as he smiled. Yet it was a sound of joy, nonetheless. Nikita decided she needed to hear more of it, “Don’t tell me you had to give it up when you moved from intel to espionage.”

Michael couldn’t stop the change in his expression. How he had started working for Division continued to haunt him. The events leading to his job change held him in a chokehold he couldn’t break from. His thoughts always turned to a dark place, and his heart would stop. He turned away from Nikita, not willing to delve even deeper into his past. He couldn’t stomach to voice it. She gently grabbed at his clenched hand, rubbing soothing circles into his skin. His eyes betrayed him by glancing at her. He saw overwhelming concern in her soft gaze. Michael’s breath caught in his throat. It had been so long since anyone had shown such care for him. Of course it would come from Nikita.

The ‘tango down’ report through coms, brought Michael back to the moment. Regretfully, he let go of Nikita’s hand and reported back to meet at the exfil. Although he moved to leave the balcony, she stayed rooted in her spot. She was determined to understand the sudden shift in his expression. She wanted to know what had hurt him, maybe she could’ve found a way to make him feel better. All too aware of her stubbornness, he sighed. He had to give her something or else she would never leave. Holding out his arm to her in invitation, Michael played along with her jokes from earlier, “The name’s Bishop. Michael Bishop.”

Nikita regarded him for a moment. Realizing just how big of a step their entire conversation was, she hooked her arm through his. He trusted her. That much was clear. And when the time came, he’d tell her the rest of his story. He simply needed time. As the handler and agent exited the black tie party they had crashed together, she quipped, “Nikitas. Nikita Nikitas.”

His laugh was fuller and more genuine that time; it made her proudly laugh along with him. Michael shook his head, slightly nudging Nikita. She really was worming her way under his skin. If he wasn’t careful, she was going to dangerously captivate him- body and soul.

* * *

Michael and Nikita entered their apartment hand in hand. They were both giggling, yet neither quite knew why. They were simply giddy and excited. The couple didn’t move too far away from one another as they took off their shoes and put up their keys and belongings. In fact, he kept his green eyes glued to her the entire time. He couldn’t stop staring at her radiating beauty. As always, she noticed and teased, “Whatcha starin’ at, Sailor?”

“You. Future Mrs. Bishop,” Michael replied effortlessly. He pulled her lithe frame into his strong arms, beginning to sway back and forth. There was no music, but that didn’t stop them. They danced in their living room slowly and tenderly. Pulling herself closer against him, Nikita smiled.

“If I didn’t know any better. I’d say you’re getting soft future Mr. Mears,” She glanced up at him with sparkling brown eyes. Despite her response, he couldn't help but kiss her. The affection started soft and gentle, but it soon grew into something untamed and thorough. Her fingers tripped through his hair and massaged his scalp, while his hands pressed into her back and traced her spine. Eventually the newly engaged couple separated, resting their foreheads against each other as they caught their breath.

“Mrs. Michaels,” He whispered the old tease against her lips. They had come a long way since that mission. They had learned to trust one another more, to love one another more. There were no more held back secrets or mysteries about their past. They were willing to share their thoughts and emotions, knowing the other would care for them. Michael had her heart, and Nikita had his. And they were going to protect them as fiercely as they could.

“Mr. Nikitas,” Slipping from his hold, Nikita took Michael’s hands and led him to their bedroom. He followed her all too willingly, captivated- body and soul.


	74. Chapter 74

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set a little bit after 2x23 "Homecoming". Inspired by the fact that Sonya was just thrown into this crazy team.

Nikita winced as she yanked open the refrigerator. Her hand stung and spasmed at the effort. It had been like that for about a week. Using her right hand for anything hurt and made her feel uncomfortable. At first, she thought it had been broken; the sudden pain when moving it felt like a broken bone. However, there was no swelling, numbness, tingling, or bruising on her skin. She could move her fingers and wrist fine, but whenever there was any kind of pressure she winced. Although she attempted to hide the pain- she could live through it- her friends caught her reaction.

“Are you alright?” Sonya studied Nikita, helping her take out the food from the fridge. They had agreed to make dinner at the safehouse while the others were either working, or searching for somewhere else to live. But that wasn’t Sonya’s concern at the moment. She reached around Nikita, aiming to grab an icepack from the freezer, “Do you need some ice or some ibuprofen?”

Waving the computer tech off, the agent moved to grab the pots and pans scattered throughout the kitchen, “I’m fine. It’s no big deal.”

Sonya followed after her, not accepting the brush off. There was no need to soldier on and go it alone any longer. They were entering a new phase, as a team. They needed to be able to rely on one another. With a speed that surprised Nikita, Sonya took her right hand and squeezed. Her knees buckled involuntarily, “Ow, fuck.”

“You could’ve bruised the bone. Or pulled a muscle,” Letting go of the agent’s injured hand, the computer tech gave her opinion. Nikita held her arm close to herself, and scowled. She did not appreciate the assistance. Well, she kind of did. But she didn’t appreciate that she had another team member so concerned with her well being that they ignored her ‘I’m fine’. Her pain was nothing. There were worse injuries out there, such as Sean’s gash on his thigh and Alex’s broken arm.

“You can thank Percy’s death grip for that,” Nikita decided to push forward, supplying an explanation for the injury and preparing the food. He had gripped her right hand fiercely as he was hanging over the opening of the silo. He had pulled and tugged as though she was his lifeline. Percy had never been more wrong in his entire life. She let go of him, and of the power he held over her. Watching that bastard die inside the very place he had terrorized was freeing. So what if her hand had been injured. She wouldn’t give up the fact that his power was gone for anything in the world.

“Aw. Does somebody’s hand hurt?” Alex pretended to sympathize when she entered the kitchen. She had been banned from helping out with dinner. Not because of her arm, but because of the fire she had almost started the last time she tried to cook something. The young woman wasn’t going to miss out on any conversations or scraps of food to snack on, though. She hopped up to sit on the counter, handing Sonya a knife as she reached for one, “You can take the pain meds Medical keeps offering me.”

Rolling her brown eyes, Nikita filled a pot up with water. The weight made her hand hurt, yet she ignored it while she taunted, “You know. If you didn’t lead with your right all the time, you wouldn’t have a broken arm.” 

“I’m right handed. How else am I supposed to lead?” Alex defended herself. She watched Sonya and Nikita peel, wash, and plop potatoes in the water to bring it to boil. While the tech started to season and slice the chicken breasts, the agent heated some oil in a pan. They were moving around the kitchen effortlessly. The meal was simple, and they were able to work together with ease. Alex was a little in awe at how well Sonya was fitting into their team. And, at how easily the two women found cooking. Of all the things the young woman could do, she hadn’t yet figured out cooking. She’d get there eventually, though. 

Before starting to cut the many different vegetables she had pulled out, Nikita neared Alex. She held a knife in her left hand, using it as a prop in her demonstration, “You could lead with your left. Or simply keep your guard up.”

Alex did her best to not flinch at the knife flying close to her body. When Nikita smiled at her innocently, she glared, “I was also electrocuted.”

“I was tortured with electricity and still beat a bitch up,” The gloating agent returned to the cutting board. Carefully cooking the chicken, Sonya chuckled and rolled her brown eyes at the two. Sometimes they acted more like sisters than teammates and friends. It was endearing. It was part of the reason she was drawn to the team. Their relationships with one another were strong and powerful- more powerful than Division ever was.

“Oh you wanna go there? Okay. I was killed by electricity and still shot your ass,” Despite Nikita’s shocked expression, Alex laughed. They had already discussed the event and apologized for their actions. They had done things in the past to protect one another. They cared for each other deeply, nothing was going to change that. So naturally, they could poke fun of their actions in the present.

“Yeah. And you left me with Roan. Which seems pretty counterproductive to your ‘I saved you life’ excuse,” Nikita carried the chopping board full of vegetables to the stove, and dropped the contents into a pan. She turned on the burner and spiced the veggies. Sonya tossed her and Alex a confused glance. The tech wasn’t quite caught up on the team’s story. She was missing information, namely how those two had gotten into the situation they were talking about. However, the chicken needed her attention.

“Please. You were fine. And you got me back months later when you shot me in that dirty alley,” Alex slid off the counter to help Nikita strain the potatoes. Her right hand really was giving her trouble. But the young woman knew it wouldn’t do any good to mention it. She’d just help ease her use of the hand. Time healed most wounds, but damn was Nikita impatient.

“Got Amanda off your back didn’t it?” Nikita’s point made Alex shrug. They set the pot of potatoes on the counter, and the agent handed the young woman a masher. She returned to the vegetables, smirking, “You can handle mashing potatoes, right?”

Although she rolled her blue eyes, Alex did as she was silently asked. The chicken finally finished cooking, much to Sonya’s relief. She turned off the stove, and piled the pieces on a serving dish, “I want to circle back to Alex being killed by electricity.”

“Right. Nikita deactivated my killchip, but Percy reactivated it. So Amanda shocked me so my heart would stop, so my killchip would be disabled for good,” Alex was more focused on mashing potatoes with her nondominant hand than Sonya’s concern. Last year’s events felt like a lifetime ago. She could talk about them with a shrug of her shoulders and the intention that they meant nothing. A lot of things had happened since that were far more important.

“Wait. You were killed after you shot me,” Nikita fixated on the wrong point of the story while she stirred around the vegetables.

Sonya, on the other hand, touched the base of her spine and stared at Alex wide eyed, “Killchips can be reactivated?”

Over the week since Percy had been killed and Nikita’s team had taken over Division, agents had their chips deactivated. Their movements could no longer be tracked, and they could no longer be killed with a click of a button. It was a great relief to Sonya. She felt free. However, knowing that the evil technology at the base of her skull could be reactivated terrified her. Alex and Nikita were quick to alleviate her fears, “Yeah, but it’s okay. Evil is defeated. World is saved. And no one is gonna hurt us again.”

Their earnest reassurement eased Sonya slightly. She would be alright. She had a great team behind her. The tech flashed a small grin at the agent and young woman, and they returned the look with brilliant beams. More relaxed, Sonya gathered plates and silverware for dinner. Alex grew more aggressive with the still lumpy potatoes, continuing the conversation from earlier, “Alright fine, I forgot the series of events. Whatever. And you may have gotten Amanda off my back. But Sean jumped right back on it. He went on and on bout ‘moral compasses’ and ‘serving your country’. Bitch, I’m Russian.”

Nikita and Sonya laughed at the young woman’s impersonation of the Navy Seal. Her voice had lowered, and she had puffed out her chest. She continued her imitation of Sean, as the agent turned off the burner and moved the vegetables to a bowl. All that was left for dinner was the mashed potatoes. Alex had abandoned them, however, while she teased her potential boyfriend. Although they had kissed, they hadn’t quite gone on a date yet, “God, he was so hypocritical too. I mean, he killed that Oversight member and went rogue with us.”

“If you wanna talk bout hypocritical dumbasses, then I present to you: Michael,” Nikita threw a wink at her boyfriend who had just entered the kitchen. He returned from working with Ryan and apartment hunting, and was drawn to the room by the delicious smell of food. The women laughed at his expense, though he wasn’t sure why. He looked around for any explanation, but found none.

“What’d I do?” Noticing Alex’s struggle with the mashed potatoes, Michael went to the refrigerator to grab milk and butter. He added them to the pot, easing the young woman’s job.

“Oh you know, ‘don’t get emotionally attached’, ‘check your feelings at the door’, but you fell in love with me anyway,” Nikita sauntered over to him, her voice lowered in a mocking attempt to impersonate him. She slipped her hands into the back pocket of his jeans, and smirked. Despite her tease and the roll of his green eyes, Michael kissed his girlfriend. Sonya thought it was cute. Alex thought it was gross.

“Hey. Mashed potatoes are done,” Alex soon held the pot up in triumph. Before Nikita could reach for it, Michael took the potatoes and added it to the counter with the other foods and dishes. He was aware of her injury, though he didn’t say anything about it. It was easier to not fight Nikita whenever she was hurt. Just silently support her however she needed, and things would be alright.

“Are the others here?” Getting dinner ready to serve, Nikita asked Michael. He nodded as he stole a small vegetable to pop in his mouth. She lightly smacked at his hand, causing him to chuckle and kiss her again.

“Sean you fat lard. Come get some dinner,” At the sight of Michael’s nod, Alex called out. The agents and tech laughed. They weren’t expecting the movie reference, or the fact that it was going to be used against the Seal.

Sean entered the kitchen, sighing. He gently nudged Alex, “I shouldn’t have shown you  _ Napoleon Dynamite _ . You’re only using that power for evil.”

“I don’t know. I thought it was pretty good,” Ryan chimed in behind the group. Leaving the stresses of taking over a black ops group, to go home to the team’s antics was always a relief. He didn’t know what he would do without them.

Although the others started to make their plates of food, Sonya studied the group. She didn’t see Seymour Birkhoff among them. Shaking her head, she pulled her cellphone out of her pocket, “Of course I have to text Seymour. He’s probably staring at a computer screen, saying ‘one more minute’.”

The team was startled for a second by Sonya’s impression of the nerd, but then they burst into laughter. Birkhoff hurried to join them, unsure as to why they were laughing but grinned when he saw Sonya smiling. Plates full, they found a place to sit and eat together. Their conversation and laughter was easy and light. Impersonations and teases about their past continued, yet it was all in good fun. The team joked around, lifting each other’s spirits up. They felt as though they had no more worries or demons. They were all together. Happy and free.


	75. Chapter 75

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set a little bit after 2x23 "Homecoming", and directly after the last chapter. Inspired by comments on Fanfiction for the guys to imitate the girls.

After dinner, the women left the men to do all the clean up. They flashed brilliant smiles and batted sparkling eyes, before running outside to make a bonfire. The men were powerless to resist them. They shuffled to the kitchen to wash the dishes and clean the counters from the cooking frenzy that was left behind. It was worse than they had originally thought. Food scraps and spills littered both floor and counter, and the sink was piled high with used cooking utensils. The men had a large task ahead of them.

“This is why we need a dishwasher,” Birkhoff grumbled, dumping dish soap into the sink. He started attempting to clean everything at once, but Ryan put a stop to that. The analyst nudged the nerd to the side, and took over cleaning the dishes. Birkhoff was glad to have been demoted to dryer. 

“We’ll keep that in mind if we ever need a safehouse again,” Taking out the broom from the supply closet, Michael joked. He hoped they would never need another safehouse. He was ready to live in a permanent location. He had jumped around while serving in the Navy, while working for Division, and while he was rogue. Michael wanted a place he could go to every single day, and make a home out of it. He also wanted a place that was just for him and Nikita. Living with the rest of their team was starting to get on his nerves. 

“We should also think about self cleaning kitchens. How’d it get this dirty?” Sean wondered as he studied the room. There was oil splattered on the stove from the chicken and vegetables. Specks of seasoning seemed to have been everywhere. And potato peels and bits of vegetables covered every surface. Sean also noticed bits of mashed potatoes on the hanging cupboards. It was as though a tornado had been through the kitchen. The Seal couldn’t make sense of it as he grabbed a cloth and disinfectant to wipe it all down.

“You can tell Sonya cooked the chicken. That mess is contained. But Alex and Nikita definitely made the rest,” Michael swept the floor with a shake of his head. From homemade pizza to veggie shakes, those two women could make a mess in the kitchen out of nothing. He blamed the fact that they moved too fast. Neither could settle down much. They were always on the go for something. While that worked well on missions, it didn’t lend a hand to cooking.

“We really should’ve figured out they were working together from the start, Mikey,” Birkhoff scoffed. Comparisons were drawn between Alex and Nikita when Alex first showed up in Division, but nobody put two and two together that she was the mole. It was more obvious in hindsight, however. There was no doubt that Alex had been trained by Nikita, it showed well. Fortunately, they had been distracted by other things inside Division to actually notice. If they had, they wouldn’t have been where they were at the moment.

“I had my suspicions the first time Alex did that stubborn stare down. You know the one,” Propping the broom against the counter, Michael gained the others’ attention. He crossed his arms tightly over his chest, and glared. With a haughty lift of his chin, the agent lightened his voice into a higher octave, “It’s fine. Michael.”

The men burst into laughter at his impression. Michael grabbed the broom again, smirking. If he had a dollar for everytime he heard ‘fine’ in a day, he’d be rich enough to just buy all of the Division agents’ freedom. There was never any use in fighting a ‘fine’; it would just lead to more stubbornness and then silence. Michael had to admit that Nikita was worse about it than Alex. It frustrated him to no end how stubborn she could be. Sometimes, his only answer for it was to be stubborn right back. Despite that, Michael sort of found Nikita’s stubbornness admirable. It had gotten her far in the fight. And it proved just how unflappable she was.

“That’s a good Nikita. But Alex’s is more like this,” Sean threw down the disinfectant and rag. He had to get a new rag in a second for the rest of the mess, yet his joke was more important. He placed his hands on his hips, leaned his weight on one leg, looked the men up and down, and pitched his voice higher, “Oh yeah. What are you gonna do about it?”

Once again, they all laughed at the impression. The men continued cleaning, discussing their team for a moment. They had been through a lot, so much so that they were practically a family by that point. And what was a family if they didn’t lightly tease one another. Scrubbing at a particularly tough stain in a pan, Ryan chuckled, “I should’ve never hung up on Nikita. That was my first mistake.”

“Yeah. And your second was kidnapping me,” Birkhoff helped him by adding more soap to the sink. He had moved past his capture by the CIA, understanding why it had to have been done. That didn’t mean he wasn’t going to continue to berate Ryan about it, however. The analyst rolled his blue eyes, spraying the nerd with some water. Birkhoff stared daggers.

“How many times have you been kidnapped now? Like three?” Michael whacked Birkhoff's feet with the broom so he could sweep around him. He did as he was silently asked, but continued the glare. The agent ignored him with his trademark half-smile, “And by Nikita, Ryan, and Sean, right?”

“How’s it feel to be taken out by your team?” Sean rubbed in the fact, spraying more disinfectant on the counter. Birkhoff gave up on drying the dishes Ryan was handing him. He settled on some nasty looks at the Seal and the agent. It didn’t have an effect on either of them, so he settled for taunts.

“You should know. Alex took you out on the beach, and Nikita shot you,” Sean shrugged at the nerd’s facts. They had surprised him, specifically Alex. He could never predict what she was about to do. Although her surprises annoyed him at times, he enjoyed that she was unpredictable. It made things more fun. And the team could all afford to not be so serious all the time.

“Oh. She shot you too. Welcome to the club,” Michael grabbed the dust pan to throw away all he had swept up. Ryan stopped washing to stare at the men in confusion. They didn’t give him any answers, however. They kept on with what they were doing as though nothing out of the ordinary was said.

“‘Club’? Who else has Nikita shot that there needs to be a club?” It concerned the analyst that the others had to take a moment to think.

“Well. I know she shot those two and Alex. I don’t know if she shot Owen or just beat him up. And she definitely pistol whipped me,” Birkhoff ticked off on his fingers. Sean and Michael nodded in agreement, finishing their cleaning. It wasn’t only Nikita that had attacked her future team members. They were all guilty of that. Mixed loyalties, complicated feelings, and miscommunication all factored into how they had treated each other in the past. As a team, they had moved forward and grown. They learned from their mistakes, and were determined not to make them again. 

While Birkhoff and Ryan finished with the dishes, and Sean and Michael double checked they had gotten everything, the nerd asked, “Are you telling me none of us attacked you?”

“No. But I did get demoted, sent to jail, and fake killed for all of you,” Shutting off the water after rinsing the last item in the sink, Ryan reflected. He was the one to have dug into the conspiracy that was Division first. But the team escalated it by keeping him involved. The analyst didn’t regret it; they had done great things together. But he had to admit he missed being legally alive and working for a credible organization. 

“Nikki really ruined our lives when she went rogue, huh?” Birkhoff chuckled, drying the dish and setting it in the rack with the others. He’d put them away later. Or never. They had all fallen into a bad habit of leaving the clean dishes on the counter and using them as needed. They claimed to be organized, but in reality they left things lying around all the time. 

“Yeah, but for the better,” Michael couldn’t help the smile that bloomed across his features. He didn’t care that Birkhoff and Sean started teasing him for admitting the fact and for smiling lovingly. Nikita had changed his life completely. It took him a while to see it, but she had a strong and powerful effect on his life. She brought joy and happiness in his otherwise dark and lonely world. He didn’t know what he would do without her. 

“God. You're so whipped, man,” Sean broke the agent out of his thoughts. Michael punched him in the arm. Although the hit stung, the Seal laughed it off. He knew he was right. Nikita had her boyfriend wrapped around her finger. 

“You said the same thing about Alex yesterday,” Ryan called Sean out. The two had been talking while going over some paperwork when the Seal let the fact slip. The analyst didn't say anything about it at the time. But seeing as he was harassing Michael for being whipped, Ryan had to put him in his place. 

A slight blush crept up on Sean’s cheeks. His feelings for Alex wasn’t a huge secret. However, he wanted to express them to her himself. He had no doubt that she was aware of how much he liked her. He simply wanted to tell her all about it romantically- like on a date. That idea would have been ruined if Birkhoff ran his mouth, though, “Why are you laughing, Nerd? You used to give info to Sonya.”

“So. I got the girl. Even if she messes with my rig sometimes, complaining that my organization ‘is about as messy as a Starfleet mission’,” Birkhoff tried to imitate her accent as he rolled his eyes. Thinking about Sonya touching his computer didn’t annoy him as much as when the others did it. At least she had pure intentions behind it. 

“That was a terrible accent,” Ryan chuckled along with Michael and Sean. The nerd brushed them off with a shrug. He wasn’t trying too hard on it. 

“Come on. We shouldn’t leave the girls out there for long. Who knows what they’re up to around that fire,” Ensuring that they had all finished cleaning, Michael led them outside to the rest of their team. He was right about the women being up to something. Nikita was teaching Alex how to fight leading with her left side a little too close to the bonfire. Sonya stood to the side shouting at them to be careful, but it wasn’t helping. Michael, Sean, and Ryan put an end to the sparring, and got them to sit and enjoy the fire they had built. Just like at dinner, the team talked, laughed, and joked. They felt as though they had all the time in the world to tell stories and enjoy one another’s company. It was joyous, and freeing.


	76. Chapter 76

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set pre-series through season 1. Inspired by the fact that Michael really heard Nikita died three times huh.

Michael didn’t know what to expect when Percy called him to his office. He had gotten back from his mission and was debriefing one of his agents, when Birkhoff came to tell him Percy wanted to talk to him. The computer tech’s expression worried him. He looked like he was going to be sick. There was no snarky humor or sarcastic quip about having to go to their boss’s office. Birkhoff was quiet, pale, and appeared to be on the verge of tears. Immediately, Michael was worried. He knew something terrible was going to happen the second he walked into the room. Nothing could have prepared him for what he had heard, however.

Amanda was in the office as well. She looked more put together than Birkhoff, but she still seemed pale as she sat straight in a chair by Percy’s desk. Percy was on his feet, his arms crossed and his lips pressed together. Michael was asked to sit, but he preferred to stand. He could easily hide his clenched fists in his pockets that way. A look was exchanged between Percy and Amanda, adding to Michael’s worry. He wanted them to just blurt out whatever it was and get it over with. He didn’t have time to stand there worrying over something he didn’t know about. There were more important things he had to attend to. 

“Nikita was shot and killed,” Michael barely registered Percy’s words. They came without preamble or emotion. They were stated like the fact they were. Percy continued with the facts, Kelly tried to complete the mission, they still got the intel, a tragic loss of two agents, but he couldn’t focus. It felt as though the world had slipped out from under his feet. Nikita was killed. She was gone. She had survived so much, including a suicide mission. Yet there she was, dead and gone. It couldn’t have been true. She was too stubborn to be killed. It was a mistake. 

His voice didn’t sound like his own as he asked about her body. Everything seemed so far away. It wasn’t real. He had that nightmare; he’d wake up in a cold sweat before remembering that Nikita was safe and sound- she was alive. But Percy and Amanda weren’t there in his dreams. Birkhoff wasn’t there crying either. It was just Michael and Nikita. And he couldn’t save her. He couldn’t protect her. Percy started saying something about her falling into the river, except Michael stopped listening. He stopped breathing. 

Amanda chimed in that the team was looking for her to see if she had any Division or mission information on her. The thought angered him. Nikita was dead and all they cared about was themselves. The light in the world was gone and they didn’t give two shits. Michael had to push those feelings down. He couldn’t express them there, not with Percy and Amanda watching. He had to be head agent Michael, stoic Michael. So he swallowed hard, nodding. There was a procedure to follow after an agent’s death. Her’s was no different. He would go through the motions as he would for anyone else. Even if she wasn’t everybody else. 

It surprised Michael how long he lasted. He went through the rest of the day as he normally would. But the second he got home, he collapsed. The emotions overwhelmed him. His knees buckled, his hand clutched onto his stomach, and tears pooled in his green eyes. He couldn’t make it two steps into his apartment. The door managed to shut behind him before he fell to the ground. Sobs tormented his body. He couldn’t breathe, the tears were so powerful. All we could do was weep over Nikita. His feelings for her had always been difficult. He felt like he couldn’t move on from Elizabeth without guilt settling in his stomach. He felt like he couldn’t be with her and protect her at the same time. And he felt like no matter what he chose one of them would’ve been hurt. But none of that mattered anymore. She was gone. 

When the tears were spent, Michael was left heaving. His body was still wracked with pain and sorrow; it had to have been felt. He ended up vomiting. His eyes stung and his stomach burned, but the bile continued to work its way up his throat. Grief had overcome him completely. He didn’t think he could survive it.

Michael went back to Division the next day, an empty shell. He couldn’t show how deeply Nikita’s death affected him. Even with her gone, he couldn’t show favorites. It wasn’t as though it mattered anymore. He could’ve just let go and stopped caring, stopped being Michael. Except Birkhoff put an end to that train of thought. The nerd rushed to him on the training room floor. He had just been standing there vacantly staring. But Birkhoff was cutting through the fog. He appeared excited, almost smiling.

“She’s alive. Nikki’s alive,” Michael’s feet were moving faster than his mind. He ran to ops where Birkhoff had come from, needing to see the information for himself. The team must’ve found her. They must’ve found her holding on to life as stubbornly as she ever was. However when he walked into ops, his heart sunk back down. Amanda was furious. Percy was livid. And Nikita was rogue. The team didn’t find her body; they found her removed tracker. Nikita was alive, yet Division was going to track her down and kill her. Michael was put in charge of that mission.

His apartment was destroyed when he arrived home. Rage filled his very being. Damn Nikita for leaving. Damn Percy for wanting to hunt her down. And damn himself for letting his emotions get the better of him. Michael was always supposed to be composed. He always had his emotions in check. Nikita broke through his walls, however. She snaked her way under his skin, leaving a mark that branded him. He couldn’t shake her loose, and it was starting to tear him to shreds.

Over three years he got better at burying his emotions for her. He wouldn’t touch the mission to find her, and he wouldn’t talk about her. He’d keep her at a distance. It was better that way. His feelings could remain under tight lock and key. Michael was an exceptional agent and handler. He was partial, rational, insightful. He helped his agents and recruits, and he protected them. He could protect them- like he couldn’t protect her from getting hurt by the very organization she served.

All of that was thrown out the window when Nikita resurfaced. For three years he thought she was on a beach somewhere safe and sound. Yet she was back. She was fucking with Division, putting herself in crosshairs he had kept her from for years. He thought he would be angry about that fact. Instead, Michael felt gutted. He couldn’t do anything to keep her from harm. She was going to get herself killed. And that was going to kill him.

Hearing her voice at the party froze him. Seeing her almost made him self-destruct. And when he bumped into her arm to make her spill her drink he felt more alive than he had in years. Michael fell back into Nikita’s spell knowing she was back for real. That it wasn’t just some idea or theory. She was actually there in front of him. He would’ve smiled if he wasn’t so concerned. There were things she didn’t know that were going to burn her. Things were going to hurt her. Of course she wasn’t going to listen to him, however. She was determined and stubborn. And although he wanted to help her, he had to be loyal to his job. There were others he needed to protect as well.

He didn’t believe it. When Percy told him Nikita was killed in Canada, he didn’t believe it. Her body wasn’t found, she had jumped into the water. She was alive. She had played them before, and she’d play them again. Nikita was alive. Michael held onto that for two weeks. It kept him going. It kept him focused on other matters, such as Alex- Alex, who reminded him so much of Nikita. She was in danger in Division, and he could help her. He had the power to help Alex and make sure she survived.

“Just confirming our girl has nine thousand lives,” At first Michael was confused by Birkhoff’s words. But hearing Nikita’s name and seeing her on the feed, he smiled. He had to keep it brief, remembering where he was. Except he couldn’t help it. He was right, she was alive. Nikita showed up Division once again. He felt a little proud of her for the fact. She was as formidable and capable as ever. Despite the danger she was in, she was alive. And she was going to keep living. 

It was a couple of rough months after that. He was upset, she was upset. Yet they talked through it. They found themselves finally together. Years of complicated feelings and hurt, but they pushed through it. Michael and Nikita were together. It seemed like they could get through anything. He felt elated, light, happy. It had been so long since he had felt like that. He had her to thank. He always had Nikita to thank for making him smile and laugh. 

Michael wasn’t laughing then, however. Chained up in a deep Division sublevel, doom was gripping his heart. Nikita was trying to save the CIA on her own. He had to escape and help her. She couldn’t be alone anymore. He wouldn’t let her be alone anymore. Attempting to break out of the chain wasn’t getting him anywhere. But he’d try for her. Even if Birkhoff was irritating him, he was going to try.

“Nikita’s dead!” The way the nerd’s voice broke made Michael believe him. Birkhoff wasn’t one for serious emotion, but there he was on the verge of tears over Nikita. Michael’s heart had been damaged enough. Once the nerd left him, he just slumped. He thought he would’ve sobbed like he had before. But he just slumped and stopped breathing. He felt nothing. All that hope and lightness was gone. It was all gone. She was gone. He couldn’t take it. Third time the charm, and the third time hearing Nikita died killed him.

So when he was released somehow, he lashed out. He went after Percy, stole the black box, and started on his second path of revenge. He was going to be more efficient with his warpath that time. He wasn’t going to wallow around and rely on the help of others to get justice. He was going to do it himself. But first, he needed the nerd. Birkhoff would pay for his work in Division by decrypting the black box. Michael didn’t care if his friend got hurt because of that. He simply didn’t care anymore.

“She’s alive,” He thought it was some desperate attempt of Birkhoff’s to save his own life. He was trying to mess with him, get him to drop his guard. Yet the nerd was sincere. Nikita really was alive. Michael could barely ask where she was. He didn’t know if he could handle having his hopes taken away once more. The torment of losing then having her again was driving him insane. He couldn’t keep soaring through the different emotions of immense sorrow and pure joy. He just wanted to hold her in his arms, confirm for himself that she really was there.

It took him a couple of hours, but Michael was finally able to hold Nikita. They kept it brief, they had to escape the scene. However he made his sentiment clear. He hated people telling him she was dead. When they got to a safehouse to remove his tracker, clean themselves up, and take care of their wounds, he pulled her into his arms. He wasn’t going to let go of her that time. She was alive, and she was with him. He could grip onto her, feeling her warmth. He could murmur his love into her hair, and hear her murmuring back. He could breathe. 


	77. Chapter 77

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set during 2x11 "Pale Fire". Inspired by Alex's emotions during the episode.

She was seeing and hearing things that were not possible. It couldn’t be possible. She had heard the recording. Mama bear was down. So she couldn’t be sitting there in front of her. She couldn’t be staring at herself in the mirror, fixing her hair. Papa bear was down. Mama bear was down. Only baby bear should’ve survived that night. That was the consensus for seven years; Alexandra Udinov was the miracle survivor of the Division attack on her family’s home. Staring at her mother, however, she realized how grossly untrue that was.

Her mother was surprised as well. But Alex wasn’t sure if she was more surprised that she was alive, or that she was there. Or maybe she was simply surprised her medication was not working. Alex had a sickening feeling in her gut at the image of her mother desperately reaching for pills. She was trying to get her attention, but she wasn’t getting anywhere. It reminded Alex too much of her time on the streets, of talking with others who were strung out waiting for their next hit. Alex couldn’t stand to see her mother the same way. It wasn’t right; it wasn’t fair.

However, she didn’t have the time to get through to her mother. Danger was coming. Alex needed to save herself before she could do anything about the startling revelation; her mother alive and in the house changed things. If it were all possible, her hatred for Semak seemed to grow. He ordered the hit on her family. He rebuilt her childhood home. He took over her father’s old life. And at that moment he was forcing pills into her mother and treating her like she was his. She shouldn’t have been his. He stole her like he had stolen everything else.

Alex’s plans changed instantly. She was going to get her mother out of that damn house that night. Semak’s death could wait. She’d continue that mission later. Her mother’s safety was much more important. Thinking on her feet, Alex ran down to the basement. Disabling security would be her first course of action. She could move around the house more freely, which would help her mother out greatly. She didn’t know just how much she could take. Alex had to be extra careful moving forward. 

Except there was a complication. A major complication. Nikita. Somehow she was there at the same time as her. She was on another mission, of course. The rogue agent was chasing down another one of those damn black boxes. Except Alex didn’t care about burning Division or revenge. She had her mother to think about. Her family was far more important. She wasn’t going to push through the world alone anymore. They weren’t all dead. She’d have her mother by her side. The two could watch after one another and be a family again. That was all that mattered; Alex could have a family.

To her surprise, Nikita agreed. Forget the black box and Ari and Semak, Katya instantly became the priority. Nikita and Alex were going to work together again to save an innocent. It was what they did best. Alex was really grateful Nikita was there. She helped to focus her plan. She asked her questions to narrow their options and eliminate contingencies. She almost forgot how good of a team they were. They complemented one another’s skills. Where one lacked, the other picked up. It felt familiar and comfortable. Alex felt as though that was where she was meant to be.

The two women didn’t plan on Alex’s mother refusing to escape, however. Alex thought she would’ve wanted to get out of that house; she’d want to be with her daughter. But she turned her in. She betrayed her. Alex was taken to the very man who had destroyed her entire life, because of her mother. The hurt she felt couldn’t be expressed. She didn’t have the time to feel sorrowful while facing off against Ari and Semak. She’d push down her emotions as she had before, and show the men just who they were dealing with. She wasn’t going to go quietly into the night. She was going to give them hell.

Giving them hell did have to wait, however. She was outnumbered and tactically in a bad way. Just as Alex was figuring out what to do, though, Nikita showed up once again. She helped to rescue her from Gogol, and set her free. But Alex was injured. She couldn’t grab her mother like that. She’d be slow, and with Gogol hunting her she wouldn’t get far. So, Nikita decided to go. She promised to assist, of course she’d run back into the danger. Alex wanted to thank her for everything. But Nikita was already gone.

As she was preparing what she could say to her mother to convince her to leave with Nikita, she heard the phone slam onto the ground. Alex wanted to start running back to the house. They were in danger. They needed her. Yet her mother started talking. It was the same rhetoric Youri had used. Alex was sick. She had been corrupted. There was no other reason why she wanted to rescue her mother from the clutches of Semak; Alex just wasn’t herself. She shook her head to herself. The others she could understand believing the lie. But her mother- her mother was supposed to know her best. She should’ve known that Alex was still her little girl.

Thankfully, Nikita was her voice in the matter. She’d talk reason into her mother while she couldn’t. Even if she wouldn’t believe it, she’d try. Until Semak came up. She wouldn’t believe he was evil. He couldn’t have been, he had always had her. Alex froze. She wasn’t sure if she had heard her mother correctly. Semak had her willingly. Tears fell out of her blue eyes when the thoughts came together in her mind. Her perfect family wasn’t what she had held onto. Her mother didn’t love her father. She had almost never had. Alex had been lied to her whole life. There had been no love in her home. 

Alex’s eyes dried the second she heard gunshots through the phone. She was on her feet and sprinting as fast as she could. She pushed all thoughts out of her mind, she just needed to act. That was what Nikita needed to get out of the house alive. She owed her that much. Once again, Alex and Nikita worked together flawlessly. They read the other’s mind and actions, successfully escaping from Gogol. Almost successfully. Alex wasn’t able to take her mother with her. She chose to stay behind. She chose to leave her daughter and stay with Semak.

Their journey back to the states was quiet. Alex didn’t say anything. Nikita only talked when necessary, but otherwise left her to her thoughts. And she had a lot of them. But mostly, she was thinking about her mother’s choice. She had a chance to escape, but she chose not to. She’d rather be pumped with drugs by Semak than live freely with her daughter. She abandoned her own daughter. Alex couldn’t understand how anyone could do that. Her mother willingly gave her up to bad men and left her. That wasn’t an action of love, it was indifference. Alex’s mother didn’t love her.

She was able to keep the tears at bay. They angrily and sorrowfully swam in her blue eyes, but they didn’t fall. It was probably stubbornness that refused them. Alex wasn’t going to break down on public transport, traveling wherever they were going. She could keep it together, despite the fact that her heart was breaking. For seven years she held onto the memory of her family like a lifeline. There was so much love and happiness in her home, how could it have been less than perfect. 

Except, her father wasn’t a good man. He may have been good to her, but not to the world. And her mother- her mother didn’t love her. That was a simple conclusion. A loving mother would have protected her daughter and ran away with her. She wouldn’t have decided to stay with the man who killed her husband and tried to kill her daughter. It was easy to see. Alex’s mother didn’t love her. She really was alone in the world. She had no family that would be there for her.

Nikita led Alex to a beach house. She gave her a bedroom, a bathroom, clothes, and food. Alex was reminded of the first time Nikita had brought her to her safehouse. She wasn’t thankful for what she had done before, but then she was. Alex was so grateful for what Nikita had done for both her and her mother. She had done it so selflessly also. Nikita gave up her own mission to help her. Alex wasn’t sure if she could ever do the same. Although she wanted to express her thanks, she didn't have the words. Not without crying over her mother’s choice or cursing out Semak. She kept quiet until it bubbled to the surface hours later.

Alex only meant to get it off of her chest. Nikita had always been a great listener. She could express her pain to her, relieving her heart of some of its stress. She hadn’t expected the rogue agent to respond. But she did, with the same kind words as always. She didn’t have answers, but she had possibilities. Alex could put faith and hope in the possibilities. She glanced at Nikita, the barest of smiles on her lips. She returned the look before slowly pulling her into a secure hug.

The tears spilled in that moment. Alex held onto Nikita as tightly as she could. Her friend returned the squeeze, whispering something soothing into her ear. It took her a moment to collect herself, yet when she did she didn’t let go of Nikita. Alex continued to hug her, needing the warmth and comfort. Of course she provided them willingly. Despite their fallout, they were friends. They would always be friends. Alex may not have had her mother, but she had Nikita. She wasn’t going anywhere.


	78. Chapter 78

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set sometime in season 2. Inspired by my friend's request to turn something someone said while I was sick into a story.

“Hey. I’m sorry about Kelly,” Alex told Nikita while they were unpacking from a mission. The rogue wasn’t expecting the sentiment, and glanced at the young woman in confusion. She had nothing to apologize for. It wasn’t her fault that Kelly had died; she had made her own choice to work for Gogol and turn on them. Besides, that mission was months ago. Nikita had already expressed her grief and moved on. She was going to say as much to Alex, but she continued, “I’m sorry you had to shoot your old partner to save me. And I’m sorry I was being a brat the whole time.”

“When aren’t you a brat?” Chuckling, Nikita nudged Alex lightly. She took that as acceptance of her apology, smiling with her. The women returned to unpacking their bags, and checking their gear. They needed to take stock of their equipment, and see what they needed to buy more of. It was a tedious chore, but necessary if they were going to continue their attack on Division. It did beat doing paperwork. 

“I always thought Michael was your partner inside Division,” Glancing up from the gun he was cleaning, Sean chimed in. He was slowly learning more and more about the team of rogues. Ever since they had captured him and stripped him, the Seal had to reevaluate what he had been told and what he knew about them. It was a difficult and slow going process. But he was keeping his mind open. That fact alone helped them trust him as a member of their band of rebels. 

“Sometimes, yeah. But I couldn’t go on every mission with her,” Michael answered from the computers. He was temporarily relieved of clean up and stock duty to help Birkhoff sift through some information. The moment he was done, he had to count some bullets. So, he was drawing out his assistance as long as possible, “I did have other agents to look out for.”

“Though he did prefer to look at Nikki,” Birkhoff’s tease earned him a smack from Michael and a glare from Nikita. The nerd was used to it, however. He had been mocking them for their working relationship for years, and their reactions had never changed; one of them would hit him, while the other glared. They were such easy targets, though. He didn’t plan on stopping anytime soon. 

“That didn’t stop when she went rogue,” Giggling, Alex reminisced about some of Michael’s comments regarding Nikita when she had been a mole inside Division. The young woman knew her handler had drawn parallels between her and Nikita. It would’ve been difficult not to, considering she was trained by her. However, Michael saw the rogue agent in everything. Alex used to poke fun at the obsession to herself, but then she was allowed to speak them outloud.

“Oh, really?” Nikita turned to Michael with joy sparkling her brown eyes. He sighed, yet a small grin had appeared on his lips. She was going to tease him later for that fact, he knew it. He wasn’t going to deny his feelings for her, though. They had fought to be where they were together. There was no point in refuting Birkhoff’s and Alex’s claims. It was true, after all. 

Sean felt like an outsider witnessing their interaction. He hadn’t really seen them outside of the field, he wasn’t sure how they worked with one another off mission. It turned out they just constantly teased one another. It was all in good fun, the Seal could see that much. They generally cared for one another, attempting to lift their spirits. They had serious conversations, sure. And conversations where they simply talked about nothing. Yet they always tried to make the others smile and laugh. Sean could get behind that, “So, Kelly was the better partner then. She could actually keep her eyes on the target.”

“Absolutely,” Nikita winked at Michael as she replied. Although he rolled his green eyes, he laughed along with the group. When they had settled down, the rogue recalled a mission with Kelly from what felt like forever ago, “You know. Despite the fact that she left me dying in a club bathroom once.”

“Your partner left you?” Sean seemed appalled by the idea. He was aware that Division wasn’t in the practice of saving their own. But he had at least thought that individual agents would be different when it came to their teams. Besides the team that was right in front of him, that was sadly not the case.

Alex, on the other hand, was more focused on the second half of that sentence. Kelly leaving her partner wasn’t surprising, however, Nikita dying in a bathroom was. The young woman looked the rogue up and down, wondering, “You died in a club bathroom?”

“Well not really. Let me just explain,” Nikita decided after studying their reactions. Michael and Birkhoff were strangely quiet as she began the story. 

* * *

Nikita and Kelly were on a typical counter intel mission at a nightclub. Whoever the mark spotted and requested to come sit in his VIP booth would take his phone, pass it off to the other so they could clone it, and return the device intel free. Unfortunately, the target noticed Nikita. She could do the mission no problem, however, she felt like shit. During the briefing, the plane ride, and the drive over she felt horrible. Her stomach churned, her head swam, and her skin felt- for lack of a better word- icky. She thought she could just push through it. She was stressed, or sleep deprived. She simply needed to get through her assignment, then her body could relax. Then she’d feel better.

The mark was all over her, yet Nikita wasn’t having it. She was not in the mood for some greasy man to lay his hands all over her. Especially when her skin felt both on fire and ice cold at the same time. She passed the phone to Kelly without preamble, impatiently waiting for its return. She wanted to go home and lay down for days. Division missions came first, however. She’d have to miserably sit through a conversation she was barely listening to, all for a perverse sense of national security. 

When Kelly handed back the cellphone, Nikita all but leapt out of her seat. She was free. She slammed back her drink and gave a final wink to sell the idea of a date, before escaping to the dance floor to rendezvous with her partner. They’d report to Division, then they could make their exfil. They had just turned their coms off after Michael gave them their instructions, when something felt wrong. Nikita’s head had already been swimming, but that was different. Her senses were shot- vision blurred and ears ringing. She couldn’t stand on her own two feet. Clutching on to Kelly, Nikita began to horrifyingly realize what was going on. Slurring her excuse, she stumbled towards the bathroom.

Kelly was confused, but stood in her spot watching her go. Nikita didn’t care. She was focused on reaching the toilet. While she was distracted, that bastard had slipped something into her drink; she recognized the effects of the club drug all too well. If she threw up the contents in her stomach, then she should’ve been alright. However, the second she forced herself to vomit, she couldn’t stop. Her body continued to heave and convulse, glad to expel the toxins.

* * *

“So yeah. I was drugged and had the flu. And Kelly didn’t come and get me for fifteen minutes,” Nikita wrapped up her explanation, finalizing her part of the unpacking. Alex shrugged. That seemed on par with other stories of her’s. Working for Division sure was eventful. Sean glanced at Michael and Birkhoff, though. A part of the tale was not adding up for him, and the nerd’s and agent’s silence was not helping. 

“Weren’t you two on the mission, in ops or something? You didn’t tell Kelly to go get her?” The Seal’s questions caused Michael and Birkhoff to share a conflicted expression. There was definitely another side of the story. Alex and Nikita noticed the look as well. The women dropped what they were doing to stare down the men. They squirmed under the gaze.

Birkhoff was the first to crack, “I was the only one in ops. Mikey was there in the getaway van. He could’ve gone in to get Nikki.”

“I did once I realized what was wrong,” Michael quickly defended himself, “Your com was off, and Kelly wasn’t really forthcoming on what was happening in the bathroom.”

“Do you mind explaining?” Alex asked. Nikita was too busy glaring at the men to respond. The rogue knew some things didn’t add up after that mission, but she had only been given half truths whenever she had asked about in the past. With Sean and Alex baking her up in the present, however, Nikita could finally receive answers. Michael sighed heavily, then told his side of the tale.

* * *

Kelly approached the bathroom, slowly. She wasn’t sure what was going on with her partner, yet it slightly worried her. Cracking open the door, she could hear her retching. That was as good an explanation as anything, and she turned her com back on, “We’re gonna be late to exfil. Nikita’s throwing up.”

“What?” Surprised, Michael replied. He didn’t have access to the security feed inside the club, not that it would’ve been helpful with the dark lights. But he would’ve liked to have had some kind of eyes on his agents.

“She ran to the bathroom, and now she’s throwing up,” Kelly reiterated. 

“Well then go get her, so we can get her some medical attention,” Rubbing his tired eyes, the handler commanded. He switched his com frequency, so he could get Birkhoff on the line, “Can you turn on Nikita’s com and get me eyes in the club?”

With a quip, the nerd did as he was asked. Michael had to strain his eyes to see clearly. There was no camera feed to the bathroom, but he could see Kelly standing outside of it smirking. He also saw the target creepily hanging around the area. Before he could comment on that, Nikita’s com was switched on. At the sound of her vomiting, Birkhoff turned it off again, “I think it’s best if I keep that off.”

“Fine. Kelly, just go get Nikita. And watch for the mark, he’s still around.”

“I don’t think she’ll want medical attention, though,” Kelly stated as she continued to stand in her place. She did train her eyes on the target.

“She’s not that stubborn,” Birkhoff added himself to their feed, and gave his own opinion about the matter. 

“No. But she is getting awfully close with her cover boyfriend,” That rumor had been circulating around Division recently. There was no use in keeping secrets in that place. Somehow, someone would find out about it. The hottest gossip was Nikita’s boyfriend in Chicago. She claimed it was for her deep cover, yet not a lot of people believed her. Kelly was obviously one of those people, “I think she might be pregnant.”

Immediately, Birkhoff laughed. The nerd didn’t know how else to react to the statement. It was so ridiculous to him. Michael thought it was ridiculous also, but he wasn’t laughing. Nikita needed help, not speculation, “She’s not pregnant.”

“Oh. I didn’t know you knew her that well.”

“Kelly. Get Nikita now. Birkhoff. Turn her com on,” Michael barked his orders. He had had it. He wasn’t going to sit there talking, while his agent was sick in the bathroom. He knew something was wrong. There had to be. Nikita’s com was back online, and thankfully she wasn’t vomiting anymore. She was breathing harshly, however. And it sounded as though she was crying, “Nikita, are you okay?”

“That bastard slipped something in my drink. And I don’t feel good,” Between pants, Nikita replied. Michael launched out of his chair, and shot out of the van.

* * *

“We took her to a doctor and there were traces of rohypnol in her system. And she tested positive for the flu,” Michael concluded. The room was silent for a moment. Until, Nikita burst out into laughter. Alex and Sean laughed along with her, shaking their heads at the thought of the rest of the story. It was insane. Birkhoff awkwardly chuckled too, having expected Nikita to have been livid. Michael continued to glance around the room unsure, “So you’re not mad?”

“I’m fucking pissed. But what I’m I supposed to do about it four years later?” Nikita kept laughing, despite the fact that she was upset about the situation. She couldn’t believe Kelly would dismiss her illness like that. Even if she was pregnant, throwing up like she had been wasn’t healthy.

“You did shoot her,” Alex supplied with a smirk. The room erupted into fuller and brighter laughter then. Just like always, they fell into teasing and poking fun. It was a way to process and move on. And get through the monotonous actions of unpacking and taking stock of their equipment. Although there might have been some conflicted feelings that needed to be talked about later, joking around helped. As did simply being with a caring team.


	79. Chapter 79

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set between seasons 2 & 3\. Inspired by the fact that mine and my friends' summer vacation plans got ruined.

“They’re really far out there,” Sean watched Alex and Nikita tread water over a mile from shore. Although they were far away from the beach where the others lounged, the women were laughing and splashing. They were enjoying their time in the warm ocean, soaking up the sun and the waves. It was their first vacation as a team. It was also their only vacation they’ve had in forever. They were going to make damn certain they enjoyed it as much as they could.

After injuries had healed and a plan to proceed had been secured, Birkhoff demanded time off. They were still waiting for Division agents to come in after the recall order; they weren’t really needed in the underground bunker. The team could get out and spend at least one full day without any spy stuff. The only person who really needed convincing was Ryan. But once they had made plans to go to the beach, he agreed to tag along. Their safehouse may have been on the beach for a while, yet they never got to enjoy it during the summer when the weather was warm enough to play in the water. The team finally had the opportunity, and to do so stress and worry free.

They decided to rent a house for the weekend that had access to a private beach. That way, the team wouldn’t be disturbed by others. Also, if any of the computer techs’ equipment (that was brought along just in case) pinged with updates, no one would’ve been around to know what they were up to. The second rooms had been picked in the house, Nikita, Alex, and Sonya raced down to the water. The women were already in their bathing suits, beyond excited to swim and relax. The men followed them, carrying down towels, chairs, snacks, drinks, and other things they deemed necessary. They were prepared to spend the whole day outside.

Ryan lounged in a beach chair, and attempted to turn his brain off for a second. If he couldn’t, he brought an old book along with him to read. Birkhoff sipped a soda, content to ignore his team. He’d pay attention to Sonya, of course, but he just wanted to watch the waves while listening to music on his iPod. Michael laid back on a towel, sunglasses on and taking in the warmth of the sun. As he heard Nikita laugh and taunt from the water, he smiled to himself. Sean had made it his mission to build a whole city of sandcastles to rival anything he had made on past family vacations. Occasionally, he would glance up to watch Alex jump and splash in the calm waves.

Whereas the men were focused on low energy activities to relax, the women were as active as ever. They swam, floated, splashed, laughed, and taunted as they played in the sparkling blue ocean. Sonya started a diving contest, but soon had to put an end to it when Alex and Nikita kept dunking one another. She searched for seashells on her own, while the other two wrestled in the waves. Eventually, Alex and Nikita dared each other to see how far the other would go out. Their feet not being able to touch the surface anymore didn’t bother them. They continued swimming farther and farther.

Sonya left the two to their own devices, returning to the beach with arms full of shells. She sat on the towel next to Birkhoff, and stole one of his earbuds out of his ear. He didn’t mind. He turned the music up so they could both hear with one ear, and helped her sort through her finds. Sonya reached over and placed one of the broken seashells on Sean’s latest completed sandcastle. Glancing up, Sean voiced his appreciation. His hazel eyes caught onto movement in the water; Alex and Nikita were still swimming over a mile from shore. The fact worried him, “They’re really far out there.”

“They’re trying to see who can go out the farthest,” While scrubbing away grit from a shell, Sonya replied. The women were both strong swimmers, she wasn’t concerned for their safety. She was worried she wouldn’t be able to clean off the seashell without breaking it, however.

“Or who’s the stupidest,” Birkhoff supplied his opinion, trying to help Sonya with the shell. Neither of their words put Sean at ease. He kept his eyes on Nikita and Alex. He was sure they would have been alright. But the ocean wasn’t a kind place to swim in.

Propping himself up on his elbows, Michael studied the scene. He watched Alex and Nikita jump on top of a small wave and ride it until it broke. The two women laughed and swam back to where they were. Their joy made him smile, and he laid down again, “A big wave will scare ‘em off. They’ll come to shore soon.”

“Looks like they’ve already found shore,” Ryan commented on what he had noticed. Sure enough, Alex and Nikita were standing on something. The rest of the team couldn’t see what it was; it was covered by water. With a shrug, Ryan made a guess “It's probably a sandbar.”

Michael quickly threw off his sunglasses and ran to the water. Sean was right on his heels. Confused by their reaction, Birkhoff wondered, “I thought those were above water.”

“Sometimes. It depends on how the tide and waves hit it,” Catching on to Michael and Sean’s panic, Ryan shared the fact. He let his book fall as he sat on the edge of his chair. Sonya abandoned her seashells, staring out at the ocean as well. Sean and Michael were wading in the water calling for the women to come back. Alex and Nikita, however, were calling for the men to join them.

“So they’re standing exactly where the wave’s gonna crash,” The second Birkhoff voiced the team’s thoughts, a wave broke at the sandbar. Alex and Nikita were knocked off of their feet by the force of it. They managed to get their heads above water right as another wave began to draw them in. The women swam and tread, fighting to stay above the ocean. Fortunately, Michael and Sean were swimming out to them. The Navy men managed to grab onto Nikita and Alex before they were pushed back under. They helped them get to the shallow where they could stand and walk to the beach. The women coughed and spluttered, but otherwise they were alright. The team sighed in relief.

“You wanna walk it off?” Michael asked Nikita when she was standing on sure legs on the sand. She nodded through the last of her coughing fit, letting him take her by the hand and lead her away.

“You want some watermelon?” Sean asked Alex as he rubbed her back. She coughed and nodded, allowing him to guide her to the cooler. With a slice of precut fruit in her hand, she curled up on a towel. The rest of the team returned to their activities since the excitement was over. Ryan read his book. Sonya and Birkhoff listened to music and sorted seashells. And Sean built sandcastles while Alex watched.

It didn’t take long for Nikita and Alex to recover from their experience in the ocean. Nikita was soon running back to the others, laughing. Michael was chasing after her, not as steady on the sand as she was. She led him to the edge of the water, but abruptly stopped. Slipping in the wet sand, he fell into the surf. Her laughter was cut short as he pulled her down to him. They rolled around in the ocean and sand, mock sparring. Their team watched the spectacle in a mixture of giggles and eye rolls.

“What the hell was that all about?” Alex demanded to know once Michael and Nikita were done. The couple joined the others, taking water out of the cooler and collapsing together on a towel. They had to take a second to compose themselves.

“Don’t worry about it,” Nikita eventually stated. Her answer didn’t satisfy her teammates, so she changed the subject, “Anyone have any beach games we can play?”

“I bought that beachball,” Alex excitedly suggested. She purchased the blow up ball on a whim when they had first planned their beach trip. She couldn’t wait to find some way to play with it in the sand.

“So beach volleyball then,” Smirking, Nikita turned to Michael.

He rolled his eyes, “Or beach soccer.”

“I don’t know. We got a stereo for eighties music, a private beach, and a couple of hot Navy men. Sounds like the perfect conditions for volleyball to me,” Nikita attempted to sell her idea, nudging Michael. He glared at her, but the look had no power against her. The team had to take a moment to catch onto what was going on between them.

“What does eighties music and the navy have to do with volleyball?” Sonya asked for everybody, wrapping the seashells she wanted to bring home in a small towel. 

Her question connected the dots for Birkhoff, and he began to laugh, “Are you referencing  _ Top Gun _ ?”

“It’s the best scene,” Nikita agreed. Whereas the team laughed, Michael rolled his eyes once more. She had already teased him about the beach volleyball scene in  _ Top Gun _ while they were on their walk. That had caused their little chase and sparring. His attempts to make her not bring it up to their team were in vain, however. Of course she wasn’t going to follow his wishes.

“We don’t have a net or enough people for even teams, but we can try our best,” Ryan grinned, and put his book away; he wasn’t getting much reading done anyway. Alex scrambled to grab the beachball and blow it up. Sean abandoned his sandcastles for the second time to help her. Sonya and Birkhoff put some of their things out of the way in case the game went out of hand. Knowing them, it most definitely would have. Nikita winked at Michael, pulling him to his feet. He sighed, yet went along with her.

“Come on. Boys versus girls,” Alex tossed up the beachball to herself, and ran from their things. Sonya and Nikita were quick to join her, devising some sort of plan of how they were going to play. Sean, Ryan, and Michael had their own opinions on how volleyball was going to work without a net, and caught up with women to ensure their voices were heard. Selecting a playlist of mostly eighties songs. Birkhoff connected his iPod to the stereo speaker they had brought out. He had to hurry to catch up to the others so they wouldn’t start to play without him. Who needed relaxation on that team; they were all too active to just sit on a beach. Luckily, they had one another to have fun and be joyful with.


	80. Chapter 80

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set before, during, and after the series. Inspired by snippets of ideas that I can't form into full stories.

"Ugh. Who doesn't clean up after their dog?" Alex grumbled, eyeing the dog shit on her sneaker in disgust. She took it off, and hopped on one foot to the ocean to wash it off. Nikita watched her, stifling a laugh as she continued her jog on the beach in place. The problem with standing on one foot in the water, however, was that Alex wasn't steady. A wave broke at the shore, the force pushing into her leg while she was bent over. She fell with a startled squeal.

Nikita stopped jogging, and doubled over in laughter. Alex had tried to right herself, only to fall again and lose her shoe. Nikita's question if she was alright was drowned out by her laughter and Alex's frantic search for her sneaker in the murky water. Eventually, the young woman gave up and scrambled back onto the beach, "Fine! Keep my damn shoe. I don't want it anyway."

"Why did one of you take your shoe off?" Sean's voice floated behind the women. He and Michael had fallen behind them on their run, and were catching up then. The Seal carried the wet sneaker with him, while Nikita died of laughter and Alex hopped over excitedly. Michael asked why the hell she was wet, but she ignored him. She slipped on the shoe, and continued as though nothing had happened. 

* * *

"Hey, Nik. Wake up, Baby," Michael whispered next to his fianceé. She startled awake, reaching out for him. As she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes, he helped her sit up on the office couch. Ryan woke next to her, feeling her slumped body weight leave his shoulder. 

"Whattimeisit?" Nikita slurred. She looked up at Micheal with bleary eyes, adjusting to the bright lights of Ryan's office. Meanwhile, Ryan kept his eyes tightly closed. 

"It's nine," Gently brushing her wild dark hair out of her face, Michael replied.

"In the morning?" For a second, Nikita panicked. She couldn't believe she had slept that long. She had only intended to rest for a moment while going through paperwork.

"No. No. At night," Michael reassured the two. He got Nikita to her feet, but she stumbled into his side. She nuzzled against him, wrapping loose arms around his waist. He held her against him, and placed a sweet kiss to the top of her head. 

"We must've been working harder than we thought," Mumbling through a yawn, Ryan was relieved. Since he was awake, he could feel something wet on his shoulder. He glanced over at his shirt where Nikita had been laying, and spotted a stain on the fabric, "Did you drool on me?"

"Yeah. She does that. Now come on. You're going home," Michael commanded. Nikita and Ryan were sluggish to follow, but willingly did as they were told.

* * *

Sonya and Birkhoff were the only ones outside. The others weren't fans of the loud noises from the fireworks, so they were content with watching the light show through the windows. Birkhoff was doing most of the firing. Sonya simply waved around sparklers and tossed poppers. Bored that he was the only one shooting fireworks, Birkhoff decided to modify the equipment. Everything was alright at first; the explosions were bigger and the lights were brighter. However, the nerd became cocky. Sonya tried to warn him, but he ignored her. Birkhoff set up the explosion, quickly hopping back. The rocket launched from it's tube and shot towards the sky. Due to the nerd's modification, however, it didn't go far. The firework exploded before going too far. Birkhoff was blown off his feet by the blast. Sonya said 'I told you so' as she helped him.

* * *

"I'm telling your mom," Nikita teased, pulling out her cellphone. Alex stuck her tongue out in retaliation. They soon collapsed in giggles. Sonya shook her head, but laughed with them.

"How do you have both Ryan's and Alex's moms' numbers?" When the women calmed down, Sonya inquired. 

"I have my ways," With a wink, Nikita bragged. Alex tried to shove her, yet she shoved back, "I also have Birkhoff's dad's and Sean's sisters'. I have the whole set. I'm too powerful. You can't take me down."

"I have Seymour's dad's and Alex has Sean's sisters'," Sonya defended.

Nikita shook her head, "But you don't have all of theirs."

"You don't have Michael's family's," Alex thought she had the agent there. Much to the young woman's and the tech's disappointment, Nikita told them Michael's family was dead. The conversation lulled for a moment, until Alex commented, "It's insane how much more you know about him than we do."

"Well. We are married. And I told you, I have my ways," Her innuendo earned her an eye roll and a smack. She just laughed.

* * *

Nikita’s burner pinged with an email. Confused, she opened the attachment Alex had sent her. She only read the first line of the article before she took off running, “Come out here and say that to my face you little bitch!”

Alex could be heard giggling and sprinting away. Michael and Birkhoff shared a puzzled glance. They picked up Nikita’s dropped phone, and read the contents. Whereas Michael blushed and attempted to walk away, Birkhoff laughed, “Women with daddy issues really do tend to go for older guys, huh.”

* * *

“I didn’t kick anyone in the balls today,” Although Michael was proud of Nikita for being able to sneak up on him, he wasn’t proud that it startled him. He turned to her, schooling his features into a scowl. It didn’t faze her. She simply looked up at him with a smirk.

“Am I supposed to congratulate you?” He fought the smile that crept up on his lips. She looked so pleased with herself, how could he not grin.

“You said if I played nice, I’d get rewarded,” Nikita practically rubbed his words in his face. Michael sighed. He had said that to her to get her to behave so she wouldn't have been canceled. He figured he had to pay the price for his bribery eventually. Patting at his pockets for anything he could give her, he found a packet of gum. She excitedly took the piece offered to her.

“Nikita, Amanda wants you,” One of the guards called. She followed the order, blowing a bubble at Michael. He rolled his eyes, but grinned nonetheless.

* * *

Sean lightly moved Alex’s light hair out of her face. They were curled on the couch watching a movie, when she had fallen asleep. The Seal breathed a sigh of relief at that fact. Ever since they had returned from Russia, she hadn’t been sleeping. The fact that she had dozed off in his arms was a miracle. It could have all been ruined, however, by Michael and Nikita. They were giggling and teasing as they made their way to the kitchen. Sean frantically shushed them, pointing at Alex for emphasis. She mumbled something against his chest, and he stilled his movements for fear that he woke her.

Shaking her head, Nikita continued with what she was doing, “We’re fine. If she’s talking in her sleep, she’s out.”

“What makes you so sure?” The Seal whispered.

“Cause we lived together for a year. Keep up man,” Nikita and Michael got what they needed and left. Despite that information, Sean turned off the movie and remained as still as possible. He wasn’t going to take any chances. She was going to sleep.

* * *

“I don’t know. It just doesn’t make sense,” Owen voiced his concern over the situation.

“What does make sense to you?” Birkhoff taunted. 

“Punching you in the face,” He was quick and deadpan with his response. It made Ryan chuckle at the suddenness. The analyst recovered, though, and continued to brief the two.

* * *

“You know. Despite the shit that happened while I was growing up, I did have normal childhood experiences,” Replying to Birkhoff’s shock about her having childhood friends and sleepovers, Nikita rolled her eyes, “I was even on the swim team before I dropped out.”

“You were?” Michael was more surprised that he didn’t know that about her, than the fact itself. She nodded, smiling slightly at the memory.

“That explains why you swam at the community center a lot,” Owen chimed in as he remembered the time Nikita almost killed him with a towel. His statement caused more confusion amongst the team, yet they didn’t have time to delve into it at the moment. A mission was waiting for them.

* * *

“Is it weird that the only ‘Nikitas’ I met before you were Russian boys?” Alex shared one night at dinner. Nikita flashed her a look, not sure how to process that. 

Sean picked up the thread of conversation instead, “There were a lot of boys named ‘Alex’ in my school growing up. Also, a whole lot of ‘Michaels’ and ‘Ryans’. There weren’t that many ‘Owens’ or ‘Sonyas’ though.”

“I knew boys and girls named ‘Alex’, ‘Sean’, and ‘Ryan’. It’s almost like our names aren’t that unique,” Shrugging, Michael pointed out that most names were universal and unisex. They were bound to meet other people with the same name as someone they knew.

“I’ve never met a ‘Seymour’ before. And I’m kinda upset that I have,” Nikita added. Birkhoff glared at her, tossing a greasy napkin her way.

* * *

Michael heard a loud crash and a soft curse across the safehouse. He set down the file he was reading, and headed towards the noise, “What was that?”

There was a long pause before Nikita and Birkhoff answered, “Nothing.”

Instantly, he knew something was up. He sighed. 

* * *

“I’m fine. I just got myself a little bit,” Alex brushed off everyone, as she held her forehead above her eye. She had accidentally pulled back too hard on the wrench while doing repairs, and smacked herself in the eyebrow. Though wary, her team went back to what they were doing. Alex walked the pain off for a moment, before removing her hand. The second she saw the blood, she pressed her palm back into her eyebrow, “I’m not fine. I’m bleeding.”

Her team rushed quickly to her aid; Sean reached her first. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading! :) It feels like yesterday I was just writing one idea down that I had. Now I have tons more. It's crazy. But I have all of you to thank for that. :)


	81. Chapter 81

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set throughout seasons 2 & 3\. Inspired by Alex's thoughts during Sean's near deaths.

The silence was more deafening than the actual explosion. It was the uncertainty of it that scared Alex the most. They didn’t have eyes on the situation. She could only gather information from what she had heard. And she heard nothing. One second Sean was informing them of Percy activity on the radar, the next silence. The worst case scenarios were sprinting through her mind. His silence meant death. Whatever that explosion was, it had killed Sean. That was why he wasn’t responding. Alex felt choked as she called out his name in desperation.

Once he responded, she breathed. But it was only for a brief moment. Madeline Pierce was dead. His mother was dead. Their chance at freedom from Division was dead. She wasn’t focusing too much on that, however. Sean sounded so pained and hurt. She wanted to help him- needed to help him. That fear and loss she felt before could be pushed aside. He needed support, and she would be there for him. Alex was already reaching out to contact him when Nikita told her to keep him calm. She could do that, despite the fact that she was nowhere near calm herself.

She didn’t think she was completely relaxed until she saw Sean walk into the beach house. Alex needed to see that he was alive. A voice on the telephone was nothing. Seeing him meant that it was real. He was safe. Not so much sound, but he was safe. Again, those feelings needed to be walled off. It wasn’t about her at that moment. Sean’s mother was just killed in front of him. He needed comfort, solace, and revenge. Her own comfort could be set aside for him. He was more important. 

Alex continued to bury her anxiety over her thoughts of his death. There was Madeline’s funeral and Nikita’s kidnapping to be concerned about. Even afterwards, there was still Sean’s grief. He hadn’t processed his mother’s death. He was so focused on revenge, he forgot to heal. Alex knew too much about that subject. She, revenge, and healing had a very complicated history. But she could use that to help Sean. She could pressure him into spending time with the rest of his family. He had a support system. They would be there for him no matter what. He had to understand that. No one else was going anywhere.

A couple weeks later, however, when Alex and Sean were leapfrogging to the van full of nukes, she thought he was gone. The bullet hit him so fast; she thought she had blinked and missed it. Yet he fell to the ground so slowly. His side was covered in too much blood to have been real. His gasping and wide fearful hazel eyes were all too real, though. She ripped off her scarf to stop the bleeding. Her pressure into his abdomen might have been a little harsh, but she didn’t care. She needed to ensure he didn’t bleed out. He wasn’t going anywhere. She wasn’t going to let him.

Normally, Nikita had Alex’s complete trust; the agent would never let the young woman down. However, she hesitated for a second in Berlin. Nikita said she knew a doctor who was discreet. They could get help for Sean immediately. But Alex didn’t want to let him go. She was terrified that once he left her side, he was never coming back. She wanted to keep her eyes on him at all times. That was how she knew he was going to live. Except the others had different ideas. Nikita took Sean to the doctor, while Michael took Alex back to the safehouse. He reassured her, but she stared at his departing form anyway.

What felt like an eternity later- it was only a couple of hours- Sean was resting on a cot in the living room. Nikita secured his IV drip of fluids, as Alex came over. She felt as though she could breathe easier with him there. He was recovering. He was going to live. Nikita reiterated that fact, probably able to tell that she had been panicking. Thankfully, she didn’t comment on it. Instead, she offered her an excuse to hover. He needed someone to watch after him. Alex would gladly take up the position.

Sitting there watching Sean, Alex had time to think things over. She wasn’t sure exactly why she had been so worried. He was a Navy Seal after all. He was made of stronger stuff than a bullet or a bomb. But she was frightened for his life nonetheless. She didn’t think she could lose him. He had become so ingrained in her life, losing him would be like losing a part of the life and family she had built. She didn’t think she would have been able to handle it if he really did die. Just thinking about it tore her to shreds. She didn’t know how she would react if it were to become reality.

And that fact terrified Alex. Especially after Sean waxed poetic about how awesome and amazing she was. She fascinated him, and that made her want to build more walls. She didn’t want to hurt him. She was afraid she was going to ruin whatever it was between them. She didn’t have the greatest track record when it came to relationships. She was going to ruin it. She was going to ruin them. It had happened twice before with Thom and Nathan. Alex didn’t want to lose Sean too. But that was the only thing she knew how to do.

The second he kissed her in the backseat of the car, those thoughts flew away. All that mattered was the press of his lips against her’s. They needed to talk, about the affection, the fear gripping her heart, and about them. Yet there would be time for that later. For the moment, they could simply kiss and be. And kiss they did, despite Birkhoff and Ryan in the front seat. Everything seemed to be alright in that instant. Nothing could go wrong.

Sean never really asked her out on a date, though. He made some quip about their date being a goal for him to achieve after taking down Division. It pissed her off, if she was being honest. She had strong feelings for him, and she thought he had strong feelings for her. But if she was simply a goal, then what was the point. He did explain himself eventually, but he still never asked her out properly. They were left in some kind of limbo, confusing Alex. She believed she was ready to move past her fear and fall into it with him, yet he was holding back- for whatever reason. It was driving her insane.

What confused her even more, was when he left. Sean claimed it was because he couldn’t stand to see her hut. But by leaving, he was hurting her. Alex’s heart and mind couldn’t take it. She tried to never lose him, and she did. She didn’t understand why. He knew that was who she was. He knew she had to help. But he left anyway. She wanted to be mad at him. Instead, she pushed forward and drowned it out. Her walls had worked before, they would work again. It was always something she could rely on.

Alex had her team for her, however. Even if she thought she was alone, her team was always there to help. They did, but she was still missing him. She still wished to work by his side. Sean did come back at some point. He said it was for Michael, yet she could see in his eyes that he was there for her as well. Being back in the same room, finally expressing feelings that were caught in their throats, Sean and Alex jumped into a relationship. It was a rocky jump, but a jump nonetheless. And it made her heart soar. 

The next couple of weeks felt like a breeze. She felt like she was floating on air. The torment she had experienced from ill expressed thoughts and feelings had vanished. She felt as though the fear she had once let consume her was gone. There was nothing to be terrified of. Sean loved her, and she loved him. They had talked, and they were solid. However, Amanda dug her claws into everything that made them happy. He was in danger, and she had to save him.

Nikita fighting the Gogol sleeper wasn’t Alex’s concern. Sean needed to be revived. He shot himself and let them fake his death. He was going to get out of that situation Amanda created; she wasn’t going to win. Except, something was wrong. He wasn’t reacting well to the serum. He wasn’t waking up. She wasn’t going to lose him that way. Not while they were saving him. She was desperate in her actions. Birkhoff understood as he instructed her. He stayed calm while she panicked. Sean had to live. She needed him to live. She just got him; she wasn’t going to lose him.

Sean pulled through and Alex felt herself breathing again. She didn’t let go of him as they were brought to Division. She stayed by his side, holding his hand. After yet another terrifying moment, she wasn’t going to leave him. She even curled onto the medical bed with him. Laying her head on his chest, she felt assured by his steady heartbeat. It was still beating strong. He was alive. He had survived so much, and he was going to continue surviving. That was an inspiration for her. Sean always claimed Alex was the strongest person alive. And she was- she really was. But she had him to partially thank for that. He was there to bolster her up and strengthen her. He was her rock. He helped her breathe. 


	82. Chapter 82

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set in early season 2. Inspired by mine and my friend's conversation about Roan.

“Ow. Shit,” Birkhoff’s curse drew Nikita’s attention. He had made it his mission to outfit the safehouse with better security, since they were committed to stopping Division full time- and he was stupid enough to agree to work with Michael and Nikita. The two had left him to it, trusting in his abilities. But judging from his shriek, that might not have been the case. Abandoning the book she had been attempting to read, Nikita went to check if Birkhoff was alright, or at the very least if he needed any help.

He didn’t seem to notice her approaching. He was focused on the wiring in front of him and shaking out the sting in his fingers. She tried to get a better look at what exactly he was doing, “Hey, Nerd. You good?”

Birkhoff startled at the sound of her voice. He turned to Nikita, scowling in frustration, “Stop sneaking up on me.”

“Just wanna know if you need any help,” Nikita defended herself. She picked up a screwdriver from the toolbox to emphasize her point. Returning to his task, the nerd rolled his eyes. Once again, she tried to see how he was upgrading the security system. She wanted to learn in case there were any future instances she’d have to install one on her own. Hopefully, that would never be the case. But she always had to prepare. 

The nerd, however, didn’t appreciate the agent hovering. He could do the project on his own. He had done so before. It didn’t matter if he was having difficulties or was becoming increasingly frustrated; Birkhoff could do it. Snapping, he expressed that to Nikita in two simple words, “I’m fine.”

“I can hold a flashlight for you. Or pass a tool,” As a very close friend to the ‘I’m fine’ excuse, Nikita crossed her arms and scoffed. Normally she would’ve allowed the brush off and would’ve walked away. Yet, Birkhoff had already been hurt by the project. If his frustration continued to grow, he’d probably get hurt again. She wasn’t going to let that happen.

Knowing he couldn’t fight her arm cross, he relented. The nerd rubbed his eyes, and nodded towards the instruction pamphlet by his feet, “Can you just read some of the instructions so I can make sure I didn’t cross any wires?” 

“Advertencia. Proteja los ojos, use gafas protectoras. Oh wait, that’s Spanish. Hold on,” Nikita did as she was asked, dropping the screwdriver and grabbing the instructions. However, she read from the Spanish section. It was an attempt to lighten Birkhoff’s mood. She wasn’t quite sure how well it was working, though, “Here you go. Mises en garde lors de l’utilisation.”

Birkhoff ripped the pamphlet out of her hands. He knew enough of French and Spanish to understand that she was only reading the warnings, but he didn’t want to play that game with her, “Just. Go get Michael.” 

“I don’t know how much more help he’ll be. But okay,” Shrugging, Nikita went to find her boyfriend. She was aware of the nerd’s eye roll behind her back, and she smirked. He may have been grumpy, but at least he still found her annoying; he wasn’t too frustrated then. It didn’t take her long to locate Michael in their bathroom. He was trimming his beard, ensuring that it didn’t get as shaggy as his hair had grown. Although he made complaints about the length, Nikita kind of liked it longer. She liked running her fingers through the locks. 

But she couldn’t focus on that at the moment. Birkhoff needed help. She did pause for a while, staring at him shave. She had seen him trim his facial hair before. There was simply something memorizing watching him. His movements were smooth and efficient, sort of like how he performed on missions. Michael knew what he was doing, but he didn’t let his complacency ruin his task. As he was finishing and starting to clean the sink, his green eyes caught her brown staring at him in the mirror. He flashed her a smile that she returned, “Can I help you?”

“No. But you can help Nerd. He kicked me out for speaking in tongues,” Nikita quipped. Michael laughed, shaking his head. He wasn’t going to question what he meant, as he swept up the last of the bristles.

“I’m sure he was justified,” Micheal managed to dodge Nikita’s swipe at him. He made certain he was several steps ahead of her while they headed back to Birkhoff. Once he let his guard down, she’d retaliate. He at least had a few seconds of peace.

Noticing Michael approach, Birkhoff immediately gave commands for him to follow. The agent would help him ensure the wiring was correct, then he’d put the panel back in place as the nerd finished upgrading the system on his computer. Nikita’s role was to stand there and stay silent, maybe hold a flashlight if they needed better light. She was fine with that, though she did move to the couch to sit down. The men got to work while she watched. She was mostly watching her boyfriend with a fond smile on her lips. He was definitely not as skilled as an electrician as he was at shaving, but she still enjoyed looking at him.

Lost in thought, Nikita didn’t notice that the men had finished their task. Michael was screwing the panel back on, while Birkhoff was at his computer typing away. She wasn’t expecting a response, but she voiced her thoughts anyway as she stared off into space, “Where did Roan come from?”

“I think he just spawned inside of Division,” Birkhoff replied automatically. He wasn’t quite paying attention to the others either. Once he was at his computer, the rest of the world faded away. On the other hand, Michael glanced at his girlfriend confused. He had no idea where that thought had come from. He considered asking her about it for a moment, yet shook the idea off. Her mind always jumped like that. It was easy to simply move on and respond to her.

“He had already been there for a long time when I was recruited. He was probably one of the first members,” It was a simple enough explanation. Roan had always been Percy’s most trusted agent. It’d make sense if he had been there from the beginning.

Nikita nodded in agreement. She had already come to that conclusion, “I figured that much. But what got him into Division in the first place? He doesn’t strike me as the drug addict street rat the rest of us were.”

“Maybe he was recruited the same way I was,” Michael contemplated. Other military members could have been saved by Percy and placed in the black ops group. Division had strong ties to the government, it made sense. However, what brought Michael to the unit was drastically different than how everybody else was recruited. There was no way Roan would have joined Division for revenge. He had different motivations, “More or less.”

“Nah. That dude was a cold blooded killer,” Booting up the security upgrade, Birkhoff chimed in. He was calmer since he had connected the wires. He could sit back and witness his genius at work. And he could engage in the weird yet interesting conversation. 

“Right. That’s what I was thinking. But. I was also thinking, has… has Division ever recruited a serial killer. ‘Cause if they had, it'd be him,” Nikita expressed the thought that had made her ask about Roan in the first place. She wasn’t sure how she had gotten onto that train of thought. She blamed her creepy dream from the previous night. 

Michael shook his head. He wasn’t a fan of where their conversation was going and wanted to squash it before it got out of hand, “No. They hadn’t. Not while I was there.”

“But you weren’t there the whole time,” Getting off the couch and walking over to him, Nikita negated. He didn’t know all of Division’s secrets; none of them did. There were probably a lot of untoward things that had been kept from them. And it wasn’t as though thorough agent information was kept on the black box, only missions and operations. All they could do was speculate what was occurring behind the scenes. 

“I wouldn’t put it past Percy to use one and Amanda to subdue one,” Birkhoff said darkly. The room went silent. The three of them knew just how plausible that was. They had each witnessed some of the more terrible things Amanda and Percy were capable of. Recruiting a serial killer and molding them to their own purposes seemed about right for those two.

“Yeah, okay. I’m stopping this conversation right now. I want to be able to sleep tonight,” Michael cut through their thoughts. He didn’t want to entertain the idea any longer. It wasn’t going to do them any good.

“Aw. You’re afraid of having nightmares,” Nudging him, Nikita went for a tease to lighten the mood. She was awarded a grin for her efforts.

“You’re gonna have them too,” Michael nudged her back, already imaging the thrashing kicks he was probably going to feel when they slept that night.

With a sigh, Birkhoff began to reprogram the security again, “We worked for a fucked up place huh.”

“You’re beefing up security even more,” Nikita and Michael noticed his actions.

“Oh. Absolutely,” His agreement earned him appreciative nods. While the nerd found more ways to make their security system top notch, the agents cleaned up the tools. Eventually, they found easier points of conversations to take their minds off of Division and its darker side. It was easy to fall into those thoughts and to let the horror take over them. Luckily, they had one another to rely on to get them out. They also had one another to laugh with and make fun of, anything to bring them some semblance of joy. 


	83. Chapter 83

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set sometime in season 2. Inspired by a scene in the TV show Timeless. P.S. The Russian was ran through Google Translate, so I don't know how accurate it is.

“How do you say ‘I fucked your mother last night’ in Russian?” Sean whispered to Alex. She turned to face him in disbelief and annoyance. Of all the things to ask her in their current situation, that was not one of them. She didn’t want to reply to him, even though he was looking at her with earnest hazel eyes. She had to focus on herself instead. It may not have appeared that way, but she was doing something important. He would simply have to wait.

Alex couldn't be completely pissed at Sean. Their situation wasn’t entirely his fault. Sure, he didn’t listen to her and decided to hike up the hill instead of going around it. But, she did follow him. They had been traipsing through the woods for a while by that point. They were on some stop Division and Gogol mission, causing them to split from Nikita and Michael; those two would take care of Division, while Alex and Sean would take out Gogol. Their coms were kept off, only used for emergencies. That way, black op hackers couldn’t tap into their conversations. The problem was, however, they had to find the encampments on their own.

Sean and Alex weren’t making that great of a progress. In short, they kept arguing. The Navy Seal had his own ideas of how to proceed, while the young woman trained in forest survival had others. Each step was a bickering contest to see who would lead. Eventually, they walked right into Gogol guards. Although it meant the encampment was close, it also meant they were tied to a tree. They were surprised by the armed men, and couldn’t draw their own weapons. So, it was between getting tied to a tree or being killed; they chose the tree. One guard stayed behind to watch them, as the other went to inform Gogol. Sean and Alex needed to act fast to escape.

Luckily, their guard didn’t speak any English. Sean had tested that out by insulting him. And by briefly informing Nikita and Michael of their predicament through the coms. Alex rolled her blue eyes during his experiment, focusing more on cutting through the rope. Her gun may have been taken, yet they missed the knife in her boot. If she could just grab it, she could free them from their bonds. She moved only when the guard wasn’t looking their way. He fortunately wasn’t that interested in them. It didn’t take her long to grab hold of her knife. All she had to do was saw away at the rope. Her plan was coming together nicely. Sean had other ideas, per usual.

“I’m not gonna tell you,” Alex sighed. She wasn’t going to have him antagonize their captor. She knew damn well what would happen if someone pissed off a Russian, especially an armed Russian. She wasn’t going to be a part of that.

“Will you just work with me?” Sean snapped in a harsh whisper. The young woman wasn’t the only one allowed to be irritated. The Seal was just as frustrated with their whole mission. He had never had a partner that was so contradictory and argumentative. Normally, he and his team would’ve been in and out of an area working together flawlessly. But Alex just had to be so damn stubborn. She thought she knew best, and how to proceed. He had some pretty good ideas too. If only she would listen.

“I’m working on something right now,” Somewhat showing him her knife and fraying rope, Alex bit back. They could get free without any harm. He simply had to stay quiet.

“You can keep doing that while I engage the guard,” Sean pointed out. The Gogol agent cast a glance their way, making him lower his voice.

Alex matched his low tone and slowed her movements, “I’m not gonna let you anger an armed Russian. It’s stupid and suicidal.”

“I piss you off all the time and I’m okay,” He paid for his remark. She inched closer to him and poked him sharply with her knife. He had to bite his lip to stop from yelping in pain; that would’ve definitely drawn the guards attention. Whereas Sean glared at Alex, she grinned smugly. If he didn’t think the expression was cute on her, he would’ve been infuriated. 

“Just once, back me up on something,” It was almost a dare. And maybe Sean meant it that way. He knew she would take the bait; she loved proving him wrong. She regarded him for a moment, continuing to cut at the rope. After a minute, she leaned over and whispered the words into his ear. He had to focus on the sentence, and not the feel of her so close to him.

Nodding, Sean moved as best as he could away from Alex. The attention needed to be purely on him. She could continue her actions as he worked on his. She could also stay out of harm’s way if anything went wrong. He took in a steadying breath and called out to their guard, “Hey, Vlad. Я трахал твою мать прошлой ночью.”

‘Vlad’ did not appreciate the comment. He marched over to Sean, weapon raised. The Seal moved quickly. He kneed their guard in the groin as well as headbutted him. Either the Gogol agent was more of a threat than Sean had anticipated, or his momentum was stunted from the rope. Because, the Russian didn’t go down. He did drop his gun at least. Sean kicked out a leg again to stop their guard just as Alex cut free of the rope. She launched at the Gogol agent, knife deadly in her grip. Untangling himself from the rope, Sean attacked as well.

Despite their bickering from earlier, they worked as a team to take out the threat. Their movements complemented one another, and flowed seamlessly. They were awesome and fearful to look at. The Gogol agent didn’t stand a chance. He fell to the ground with a thud. Sean and Alex were left standing over him, breathing heavily as they caught their breath. They were nose to nose, and their bright eyes drifted over each other. For some reason, the two of them were rooted to the spot. They couldn’t tear their eyes away or even move away. They remained breathing the same air and staring electrified. Until, a gunshot surprised them.

Alex and Sean snapped their attention to the source of the sound. Nikita stood a couple feet away from them, her pistol leveled at something behind them. When they turned to look, they saw the Gogol agent that had left to tell the others was shot dead. Nikita studied the scene around her with curious brown eyes, “You guys about done here?”

“Yeah. Just got held up a bit,” Alex slowly moved away from Sean to gather their confiscated weapons. His hand brushed her’s as she passed back his gun. The electricity sparked along her skin once more, and she quickly tore away. Then wasn’t the time to mull that over.

“The Gogol encampment is up that way,” Clearing his throat, Sean pointed to where he had seen one of their captors run off earlier. Nikita nodded, continuing to study him and Alex. The Seal did his best to ignore her, and started to walk off, “We should avoid the high ground as we head over there.”

“Oh. So now you think that’s a good idea,” Alex muttered, following Sean nonetheless. Nikita stayed back to watch the two. She couldn’t help but chuckle to herself while they continued to bicker. Finishing his sweep of the area, Michael joined her. He glanced between the retreating Seal and the young woman and his girlfriend in puzzlement. Before he could comment on it, Alex called for them to hurry up.

“I’m definitely teaming those two up again,” Nikita told Michael as they jogged to catch up. Although he rolled his green eyes, he smirked. Sean and Alex as partners sure were entertaining. They could go from arguing with one another to pining an instant. It was a surprise the two got anything done.


	84. Chapter 84

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set after the events of 2x03 "Knightfall". Inspired by the fact that that ending scene was very emotionally charged.

She hadn’t let go of him since she had jumped into his arms. Not that he would blame her. He hadn’t let go of her either. It was surprisingly easy to hold onto one another as they traveled away from the burning building and to their safehouse for the night. They would’ve loved to have gone home and slept in their own bed, but being on Division’s radar delayed their progress. The two needed to lay low. Fortunately, they had packed a just-in-case bag for such an occasion. Unfortunately, they didn’t know a near death experience would be a part of their mission.

The second they stumbled through the bedroom door, she pulled him into a tight embrace. Her arms were ironclad around his waist, and her head nestled into the curve of his neck. He could feel her shaking as he squeezed her back. Placing butterfly kisses atop her head, he gently guided them to the bed. It was an awkward shuffle, but he managed to sit on the edge of the mattress. She climbed onto his lap, her limbs wrapping around his body as securely as they could. He helped situate her, and attempted to move her head from its position. He wanted to look her in the eyes. Yet she wouldn’t budge.

The satellite phone ringing deterred his efforts for a moment. He stretched to grab it from their bag, while still holding onto her. He managed it without falling over. Righting himself, he placed the call on speaker. His voice continued to be gravely from the smoke, but that wasn’t his concern, “Hey, Birkhoff.”

“It’s so good to hear your voice on our own feed,” The nerd was relieved. There were a few seconds after the explosion where he thought he had lost them. It was radio silent, he couldn’t even hear Division. Normally Birkhoff was too proud to admit that he could cry, but in that second his eyes were filled with tears. Sure he taunted those two all the time, yet he couldn’t imagine ever losing them. The amount of times he had come close frightened him. He didn’t want to entertain the idea any longer. So he called, hoping they could calm his fears, “Are you okay, Michael?”

“Yeah. Bit smokey for my taste though,” Michael settled for a lighter answer. Birkhoff sounded unusually worried and panicked. The agent wanted to reassure him that things really were alright. Even if it was an unsettling mission.

“That’s good,” It was the barest of laughs. His joke didn’t land well with the nerd or his girlfriend. She somehow moved closer to him and embraced him tighter. Michael pressed his lips into her hair, apologizing with tender kisses. Voice still tight and concerned, Birkhoff continued, “Is Nikita okay too?”

Nikita didn’t so much as attempt to respond aloud. She barely nodded her head into her boyfriend’s shoulder. Despite the fact that she could feel a nasty bruise forming on her back from the force of the blast, it wasn’t about her discomfort. What mattered was that Michael was breathing and in her arms. She just needed to focus on that. He felt her nod, and replied for her. She had only spoken when necessary since the explosion. He figured then wouldn’t be the time for her to start, “She’s as fine as she always says.”

That joke got a small chuckle out of Birkhoff. The mood was starting to lighten. The three of them were never good at being too serious for long. It was better for them to tease and make the other smile. That was how they survived the hardships of their work; they threw each other lifelines while they were drowning. When he replied, the nerd appeared to be closer to his normal self, “I’ll work on getting you the earliest flight back. So I can make fun of that excuse in person.”

“Sounds good, man,” Michael moved to end the call on the sat phone. With Birkhoff comforted, he could focus more on comforting Nikita. Considering how stubborn she was, that was going to take more of an effort. But he was willing to do it. He needed comforting as well. He thought the blast had gotten her. He knew she ran back to the house to save him, she would always do something like that. So in that split moment between the explosion and seeing her in the smoke, he thought she was gone. But there she was in his arms, and he was never going to let her go.

“Hey. I’m uh… I’m glad you’re okay. I really am,” Birkhoff stilled the agent’s movements. There was a pause while he gathered the strength to admit the second part of his thoughts. He wasn’t used to bearing his soul to anyone. However, with those two, it seemed natural. And after what just happened, he was more than willing to make it a new habit, “I… I care about you guys. A lot. So it’s… it’s good you’re alright.”

“We care about you too,” Instantly, Michael stated. They might have not said it much, or at all, but it was true. Their bond was strong. Nothing could’ve broken it. Maybe they could’ve expressed it more. Yet, then was a great time to start. The three of them were such a fantastic team because of their friendship. There was care and loyalty in the working relationship. The teams they faced up against definitely couldn’t say that. 

The two men ended the phone call, and Michael turned his attention once more to Nikita. She had lessened her hold when Birkhoff expressed his feelings. She finally brought her head up to glance at her boyfriend. Her soot smeared cheeks were marred with dried tears. New sobs seemed to have escaped her brown eyes, explaining her shaking and her need to burrow into him. He tenderly wiped a tear from under her eye, whispering, “We need to shower.”

Although Nikita nodded, she didn’t move off of his lap. She rested her forehead against his, closing her eyes tightly. It was as though she was ensuring that he was there by feel. She could hear him, see him, and smell him. But she needed to touch him. By feeling his hands on her and his breath mixed with her breath, she knew Michael was really there. He wasn’t in that burning house. He was in bed with her.

Michael smoothed her wild dark hair, muttering soothing and reassuring words. She didn’t want to listen to them at first; she didn’t want to face reality just yet. But he kept whispering, drawing her in, “I thought the blast got you. But you saved us both.”

“I put you in danger,” Nikita was barely audible as she negated. She refused to kill Ramon, and Amanda ordered the drone strike. It was that simple. If she wasn’t so stubborn as to defy Division, Michael wouldn’t have been in harm’s way. Once again, her selfishness endangered the one she loved.

However, Michael was shaking his head. He got her to open her eyes and look at him. His own green eyes were alight with passion and wonder. The way he stared at her made her heart stop for just a second, “No. No. Division put me in danger. You got through to Ramon. You were the one who got him to call. You saved me, Nikita.”

Fresh tears darkened her usually bright and playful eyes. Michael stilled them with a gentle kiss to her forehead, her cheek, and her lips. Nikita thread her fingers through his shaggy hair, not caring that it was dirty with soot. She wanted them to be as close as possible, though their legs were starting to stiffen from the position. The more he used his voice, the less thick with smoke it became. Except when he confessed to her, it was thick with tears, “Twice, I cried so hard I threw up. The first time was after Hayley and Elizabeth died. The second was after Percy told me you died in Turkey.”

“I’m sorry,” She didn’t understand why he was telling her that, but she felt guilty for the pain she had put him through. When she escaped Division, she wasn’t thinking of anybody but herself and Daniel. She didn’t know she would cause anyone to grieve or be in pain. She was hurting, and desperately needed out. The consequences be damned.

“No. Don’t be. I… I told you that because I want you to know how much you mean to me. I love you, Nikita. You have my whole heart and soul. So when I say that you saved me, I mean it. In every possible way. You have saved me,” The sincerity in which Michael spoke and looked at her, stole her breath. She couldn’t argue with him, not that she wanted to. He was showing her his heart, and it was beautiful. It was something so precious and dear, yet he was trusting it to her anyway. He was entrusting it to Nikita, who didn’t think she was deserving.

She felt just as strongly as he did. Which was why she had not let go of him. Through her touch she was expressing all of the words trapped in her throat by her tears and by the fear of losing him. He was free enough to express how he felt, however, and she was trapped by the terrifying idea of him being gone. She was selfish and stubborn and fearful, and she had done so many horrible things. She didn’t deserve his heart, especially how he kept kissing her so tenderly and speaking to her with such soft gentle words. He was going to help her undress and clean off the dirt and grime. He was going to take care of her as though he wasn’t the one who almost got blown up.

Nikita shook her head at his suggestion, pulling slightly away from him, “Michael, I love you. And I never want to lose you. But…”

“Shhh,” He seemed to know where she was going with the sentence. Softly, Michael lifted her chin and kissed her once more, “You deserve love. We both do. We deserve to be happy.”

She was kissing him back then. It was needy and desperate and passionate. Michael returned the affection, pulling Nikita into him. They had to separate to catch their breath. Although she leaned in for more, he held her back, “As much as I want to. And I really, really want to. We both smell too much like fire.”

“So, you’re saying we shower together?” For the first time since the explosion, Nikita smiled. It was small, but it lit up her eyes nonetheless. Michael breathed a laugh, brushing his nose against her’s. She smiled even brighter, and finally untangled herself from him. She grabbed his hands, yanking him to his feet. As she walked backwards to the bathroom, he happily followed her. 


	85. Chapter 85

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set sometime in season 2. Inspired by how I thought Alex would react to the drone strike in 2x03 "Knightfall".

“Ow. Ow. Nikita. Help,” Alex struggled with the hair tie in her wavy brown hair. She tried to swiftly pull the elastic out of her ponytail after their yoga session, only for it to get stuck. Yanking and tugging didn’t do anything but tangle it more. Sighing, Nikita came to her aid. She swatted the young woman’s hands away, and gently started to untangle hair and elastic. The job was a lot more intensive than she thought, so she nudged for them to sit on the couch.

“This is why you brush your hair before you tie it up,” Nikita teased with a sharp tug. Alex reached back to swat at her, yet she couldn’t quite get her. The rogue had a point, not that the young woman was going to admit it. She just wanted her hair free without taking out the scissors. Over the past couple of years she had been growing out her hair. It was sort of symbolic; she got clean, and her hair could healthily grow without that harsh dye she dumped in it. She didn’t want to lose all of that progress because of a hair tie.

“I’ve never been so glad to have short hair,” Entering into the living room, Sean remarked on the situation he witnessed. Both women rolled their eyes, and ignored him. Elastic stuck in hair was a standard and annoying problem. They could get through it without someone else commenting on their actions.

Nikita was rough detangling a stubborn strand, and Alex flinched. She attempted to pull away, but was held in place. The rogue had discovered being violent with the elastic was more effective than being gentle. However, the young woman was not a fan of being jerked around by the head. She squirmed away from Nikita. Yet she was fast and yanked Alex back, “If you just sit still, I could take it out faster.”

“Yeah. But I don’t wanna be bald when you do it,” Grumbling, Alex glanced to Sean for help. He just laughed at her and sat next to her on the sofa. Nikita managed to rip more strands out while she was distracted. The young woman whined, actually striking out from the pain. Quickly, the rogue apologized and returned to gentler movements.

“Do you think we could turn hair ties into weapons,” Although Sean was concerned for Alex, he decided to tease. It would lighten the tension, and take her mind off of whatever Nikita was doing. She moved to nudge him, forgetting the lesson she had learned earlier. At least the rogue gave some slack on her hair. She was able to jab at the Seal successfully.

“I swear to God, Alex. If you don’t stop moving, I’m going to call on Baba Yaga,” Nikita had grown frustrated with the wiggling. She didn’t want to be sitting too long untangling the hair tie. She thought it would’ve been a simple job, but it was becoming more complicated. The scissors were probably going to make an appearance, whether the young woman wanted it or not.

Alex froze in her seat. That was a name she hadn’t heard in a long time, yet the fear was still very real. Sean glanced at the two women in confusion. He wasn’t sure what Baba Yaga was. But judging by Alex’s reaction, it must’ve been something serious. For a moment, he was a little afraid to ask who it was. Alex was terrified, and Nikita was smug; she finally got her to be still. Michael entering the room saved Sean from what he assumed was an uncomfortable ask. But it didn’t last long. The agent had heard the threat, “Who knows, maybe her house is outside right now.”

Somehow, Alex made herself move even less. Her blue eyes did glance out the window, though. Nikita’s warning was very successful. The young woman wasn’t going to move an inch while her hair was detangled; she wasn’t going to risk the chance. Sean started to realize maybe Baba Yaga wasn’t as serious of a threat, if Michael could make a joke about her house moving. Curiosity peaked, the Seal wondered, “Who’s Baba Yaga?”

“Stop saying her name,” Alex hissed as Nikita and Michael stifled their laughter. Lowering her voice to a harsh whisper, she rapidly informed Sean of the Russian myth, “She’s a witch that eats bad children. And she’ll come when you call. So stop it.”

“You’re afraid of a witch?” Sean couldn’t help his laugh; it was ridiculous. Nikita and Michael thought so too. The three laughed at Alex’s expense while she huffed and mumbled to herself. She didn’t appreciate their reaction. The young Russian girl inside her was shaken by the thought of the fairy tale. Her parents and their friends used to caution her about behaving or else Baba Yaga would take her. Although she was an adult, the idea continued to terrify her. At least Michael backed her up on her fear.

“Well she is a Russian witch. So, you know. She’s ten times scarier,” Pointing to a knot in Alex’s hair for Nikita to work on, Michael explained. He joined the others on the couch, but when he attempted to help his girlfriend with her mission she swatted him away. He rolled his green eyes yet did as she silently demanded.

“It’s so their kids grow strong and tough,” Pinching Alex’s arm, Nikita stretched out her neck. The young woman voiced her distress and dislike, however, she didn’t move. The threat was doing an excellent job of making sure she stayed put. Sean considered for a moment testing that theory out. He wondered just how much he could annoy her before she would finally move. But she started to reply to Nikita’s taunt.

“You bet your ass I’m tough and strong. I beat you guys on a couple of missions. Even gave you the run around in Belarus,” Whereas Sean and Michael were shocked by Alex’s fact, Nikita just tore at the elastic. The men expressed their confusion that they were both there at the same time. The women gave a rushed history lesson of the jobs they had doubled while working on opposite sides. Once they were done, Michael chuckled at the crazy coincidence. Sean stared in disbelief.

“Ha. I got it! Take that,” Finally, Nikita held up the freed hair tie in triumph. Alex cheered along with her, until she shot the elastic across the room. The young woman glared at the rogue, yet she was able to move to get it so it wasn’t that powerful. Nikita relaxed against the couch cushions, proud of herself. Michael wrapped his arm around her, and chuckled watching Alex scramble to find her elastic. She eventually pulled Sean to search with her. He surprisingly did so without bickering.

“Speaking about old missions, I wanna apologize about that drone strike,” Losing interest in looking for the hair tie, Sean brought up. It took a second for Michael and Nikita to catch onto what he was referring to. Once they did, they shook it off. They had all done things to further their own agendas in their war against Division. They were all alive and together as a team, so past actions didn’t matter anymore. The team had moved on from them, and were stronger for it.

“What drone strike,” However, Alex continued the conversation. She had no idea what they were talking about. If it had happened during her time unfortunately working with Amanda, then she would have known about it. The young woman found the elastic, but she wasn’t concerned about that. A drone strike was much more interesting.

“You were in Russia taking out Kochenko,” Sean collapsed back on the couch. Nikita snapped her attention to Alex, bewilderment striking her features. Her brown eyes searched the young woman, trying to connect some dots. 

“You did the Kochenko hit?” The rogue sounded so utterly confused, it puzzled Alex. She glanced at Michael and Sean for answers, but found none.

“Yeah. He worked for Semak and he was creepy to me as a kid…” Starting to explain, the young woman neared the sofa. Michael nodded in agreement, like he was completely for her plan. Nikita did as well, but she interrupted.

“Then you definitely should’ve killed him,” It wasn’t something anyone could argue with. The team understood Alex’s need for revenge. They had all sought vengeance in one way or another, especially against those that had hurt them. They could see how some revenge could be justified, despite some of the consequences. It just made sense to them.

“How’d you know ‘bout that hit?” Alex continued. Sometimes, Michael and Nikita’s sources of information were wild and varied. So how they knew about that hit was a mystery. 

“Remember how Ramon was supposed to be your cover, but those two ruined it. Well…” Sean didn’t feel the need to finish the statement. Alex could figure out the rest. Besides, he continued to feel guilty for his part in attempting to kill the two rogue agents. 

“Oh. Oh. Ohmygod. I caused the drone strike. I’m so sorry. If I had known I wouldn’t have done the hit. I never wanted you two dead. I’m so sorry,” The second Alex realized Amanda must’ve sent the strike to kill Michael and Nikita to save her mission, she felt horrible. Sure, she was mad at them at the time. But she could never kill them. They were her friends, as misguided as she was back then. Hurting them was the last possible thing on her mind. The fact that she came close, almost moved her to tears.

“Don’t worry ‘bout it. We’re okay now,” Instantly, Michael reassured. He and Nikita were alright. They had been shaken up, however, as they had told Sean they had moved on. All was fair in love and war; they were getting used to that shit.

“Still have nightmares though,” Birkhoff chimed in. He had come into the room during Alex’s apology. He had accepted it like the others, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to tease her for it. That’s just what he did, once he had healed of course. 

Despite all of her friends brushing the matter off, Alex felt strongly that she needed to atone for her sins. She felt like she needed to prove herself to them again, “Let me make it up to you guys.”

“You don’t have to,” Nikita spoke for all three of them. Although it wasn’t about him, Sean agreed. 

“Please. Let me do something,” Alex was so earnest and sincere, that the others crumbled. They flashed her grateful and caring smiles, making her relax and smile with them.

“You can make your famous homemade pizza,” Eventually, Birkhoff suggested. She had bragged enough about her pizza making skills; he guessed then was as good a time as any to show it off. Michael and Nikita were all for the idea, having had the delicious dinner before. Sean nodded and hoped he could try her so-called famous cooking. 

“Okay. Come on Sean. You gotta make it up to them too,” Alex excitedly bounced over to the Seal, yanking him to his feet. He looked to the others for support, but they simply let him go.

“They tried to kill us too,” Attempting to pull away, Sean argued. Alex shook her head with a sigh and Michael laughed.

“Harm. Never kill,” Nikita nearly bragged as she pointed out. Birkhoff emphasized her point with the ‘I’m watching you’ gesture. The Seal rolled his hazel eyes, outnumbered and outmatched by the team.

“Fine. But I expect a tip,” Sean’s last words as he was taken away made them laugh. They weren’t going to pay him; that wasn’t even an issue. But Michael did have Nikita and Birkhoff help him clean and prepare the kitchen for Alex. She was committed to apologizing, so they were determined to make her feel better. They just had to.


	86. Chapter 86

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set sometime in season 2. Inspired by different comments on Fanfiction asking for a Nikita fairy tale, it all being Alex's dream, and Amanda being Baba Yaga.

Alex jolted awake at the feel of something pressing into her forehead. She tried to fight off whatever it was, but her body was too sluggish to react. In fact, lurching upward made her head swim, her vision blur, and her stomach churn. She shivered, despite her skin feeling as though it were on fire, and a small moan escaped her chapped lips. Nikita caught her thrashing limbs gently, helping her rest against her many pillows. Her words were soft and soothing as she handed Alex a cool glass of water, “Easy there killer. I was just checking your temperature.”

“What is it?” Slowly drinking the water oriented Alex. She was laying in her bed at the beach house, sleeping off an unexpected fever. Thankfully she had her team to help take care of her. She knew without them forcing her into bed she would’ve attempted to push past her illness. 

“100.3. It went down a lot. But you’re still stuck in bed,” Double checking the forehead thermometer, Nikita informed her. She sat down on the edge of the mattress and made Alex drink more water. They weren’t sure what caused the fever, but the more fluids she drank the better. If her temperature went back up, they’d take her to their discreet doctor. For the moment, they had to stick to some home remedies.

“Fine. But don’t give me any more medicine. I had the weirdest fucking dream,” Alex grumbled and coughed. She set her near empty glass of water back on her nightstand, and burrowed back under her covers. Nikita better situated the blankets and comforter around her. 

“I just gave you ibuprofen to bring down your fever. I think I might give you more after you eat something,” As she brushed her wavy brown hair out of Alex’s face, she frowned a little. Nikita didn’t like how warm her skin was. The thermometer claimed that she was somewhat mending, but there was a chance it could spike back up.

“What kinda ibuprofen gives you vivid ass dreams?” Alex bit back a cough while she asked. She didn’t want Nikita to become too worried about her. They could only go to the doctor if it was an emergency, and she didn’t think her fever was an emergency yet. She’d be fine simply resting.

“I think that was the fever not the drugs,” Chuckling, Nikita remembered the last time she had had a really high fever, “Once when I was sick, I dreamt that there were angels living in my bellybutton. And they helped me solve crimes.”

Her cough was harder to hide as she laughed. Alex reached for the water again, drinking it in gulps while Nikita rubbed her back. When she had collected herself, she brushed off any worry by continuing the topic, “My dream was definitely weirder. Birkhoff was a bird.”

That fact distracted Nikita from wondering if she was alright. She glanced back at the open door for a second, then turned excitedly to her friend, “Tell me everything. We have a while before the guys finish your soup anyway.”

Able to control her coughing when she laughed that time, Alex pushed herself back up into a sitting position, “Alright. But no interrupting.”

* * *

It was Amanda’s office; that much was clear. The sparse whiteness and fake plant were dead giveaways. Alex felt panic begin to grip her heart. She didn’t know how she had gotten back there. She thought she was free of that place. At least she was alone. She could find some way out before Amanda reared her fake-perfect head. As Alex searched the room, she noticed things weren’t quite right. First of all, it appeared as though the office was in some sort of cabin. Second of all, there were windows. Division didn’t have any windows. Alex immediately ran to look outside of one. If she knew exactly where she was, she’d have a better chance of escape. Out the too clean of a window, she saw a forest and breathed a sigh of relief. She could survive in a forest. Her father had made sure of that.

However, a forest wasn’t all she saw. Somehow, she was able to spot what the cabin was sitting on. It was chicken legs. Alex was in Baba Yaga’s house. A full blown anxiety attack overcame her then. It shouldn’t have been possible. The Russian witch was just a myth. Yet Alex was there inside of her cabin. She was going to be eaten for all of the bad things she had done. But she couldn’t let that happen. Not when she had started to set things right. Settling her nerves, Alex began to come up with a plan. Fairy tale heroes had escaped Baba Yaga before. She could do it too.

She wasn’t expecting Amanda to enter her office, however. Although she looked like herself- cold blue eyes, fiery red hair- Alex knew she wasn’t just Amanda; she was also the witch. Things had just become a lot more complicated. Alex attempted to run out of the office, but Amanda pulled her into a chair. She was stuck listening to the witch’s speech, “Poor Princess Alexandra. She can’t return home without slaying the monster. Whoever will she turn to for help?”

“I don’t need you,” The words came out without Alex’s permission. She felt like she needed to prove herself to her captor. She wasn’t helpless. She was strong and powerful, and she could save herself.

“Then why are you here?” Amanda sneered. She thought she had won the argument there. She snapped her over-manicured fingers for Division guards to storm into the room. They grabbed at Alex, easily avoiding her hits and jabs. Amanda’s tone was as unemotional and icy as ever, “Take her to her room.”

Alex knew the witch meant her recruit room, and she couldn’t let that happen. She wouldn’t be locked up in there anymore. While Amanda disappeared, Alex fought the guards. They overpowered her, however, and dragged her off. It wasn’t until a crash of a door that she was free. The guards were more preoccupied with the intruder than her. They let her go, only to quickly lose the fight. As the last one fell to the ground, he faintly asked, “Who are you?”

“Her fairy godmother,” With one final kick, Nikita stated. Alex was relieved to see her friend. She ran to her, a grateful smile pulling at her lips. Nikita returned the grin briefly, before taking her by the arm, “Come on. I know a way out.”

Hurriedly, the two women escaped the cabin through a hidden air vent. Alex didn’t question why it was there. She just gladly accepted it. Once they were out in the forest, they took off in a sprint. The more distance they could put between themselves and Baba Yaga’s cabin, the better. Eventually they stumbled upon two huntsmen. Well, Alex guessed they were huntsmen. They were actually Michael and Ryan. Whereas she could see Michael clearly, Ryan was hidden by the shadows of the trees- sort of like how they first met. She didn’t have much time to think over that. When Ryan saw her and Nikita, he sighed, “Thank God you’re alright.”

“Yeah, But you better go before they catch up. Baba Yaga’s still trying to kill you, remember,” Nikita commanded. Ryan went with a nod and a smile. Alex wanted to ask what that was about, yet Michael was handing her something. It was a small syringe. He took her by the hand, and began to show her how to kill with it.

“You want to be quick and quite taking out the monster. Aim for the larynx. He won’t be able to cry out,” Michael stayed calm while instructing her. It helped to calm Alex. He worked with her on the best technique, then let her figure it out on her own.

“You’ve got it, Alex. Now we gotta go,” Nikita took Michael by the hand, and they began to run off together. Alex called after them, wondering where they were going. They said they had to save Owen from Rumplestiltskin. Yet, she knew they meant they were saving him from Percy. Who else would be the imp. On her own once again, Alex was unsure of her next move. She was also unsure of the events and people around her. It didn’t make much sense. What she did become more aware of, however, was that she needed to kill the monster. But she had no idea where he was or how she would get there. She was a lost princess in the woods alone. 

Fortunately, a bird was there for her. Upon noticing the bright bluejay, Alex knew that he was her animal friend. Every princess had one, just as they had a fairy godmother and a prince. The bird landed on her shoulder, and in Birkhoff’s voice said, “Well, Princess. Are you gonna go to the shellbox or not?”

“Are you gonna lead me there or not?” Crossing her arms, Alex answered back; she gave up on questioning things. It was better to just go along with it. If birds could roll their eyes, he did. The Birkhoff bird took off down a twisted path among the trees. Alex had to jog to keep up. It didn’t take long before something started to follow them, however. She tried not to turn around and look at it at first, but the air around her had turned cold. When she spared a glance, she was face to face with a wraith- she was face to face with Roan. Alex was not proud of her scream. But it came out anyway, and she took off in a sprint. Roan chased after her, his claw-like knife gripped tightly in his fist. Birkhoff bird was nowhere in sight. It was just Alex and Roan. That terrified her more than anything.

There was meadow at the edge of the forest. If Alex could make it there, she’d be safe. It took all of her might to avoid the wraith. Branches and rocks scrapped at her, but she had to keep going. Narrowly escaping a slash of the knife, she leapt into the meadow. Roan couldn’t follow her out there, so he remained at the tree line glaring at her. Alex backed up, keeping her eyes trained on him. She barely noticed that she had lost a shoe. She just wanted to gain distance from Roan.

“Hey. Why’d you take off your shoe?” Sean’s question startled her. He had appeared behind her, holding her tattered sneaker. He might have been dressed in his regular mission clothes (as everybody else had been), yet she knew instantly that he was her prince. He was holding her lost shoe after all.

“Just waiting for you to show up,” Alex smirked as she slipped it back onto her foot. Although Sean rolled his hazel eyes, he smiled as well.

“Will you come on? I know a shortcut to the Semak monster,” Sean held out his hand to her. Alex took it without a second thought. They ran through the meadow together, on their way to restore the princess to her rightful throne.

* * *

“And that’s when you woke me up,” Alex concluded telling her dream. There were moments where she had to pause to cough, but at least Nikita didn’t interrupt her. She knew she was dying to, yet she adhered to her friend’s wishes. Since she was done, she could tease her all she wanted.

“I’m so sorry for ruining the best part,” Nikita squeezed Alex’s leg. She retaliated by rolling her blue eyes and sticking out her tongue. Nikita was going to make another comment, but the guys entering the room interrupted her. She got off the bed to help Alex get better situated against the pillows for the tray of food Michael set down on her lap.

“We also brought you some movies,” Birkhoff unceremoniously plopped the DVDs on her mattress. He successfully ignored the annoyed look everyone glanced at him.

“And water. And some Gatorade for when that gets boring,” Fortunately, Sean was gentler in placing the bottles on her night stand. He soothingly ran a hand over her arm, as though he were trying to heal her with his touch. Despite her feverish skin revolting at the feel of his warm hand, she felt comforted by the simple action. 

“How are you feeling?” Handing her a spoon for her mostly broth soup, Michael wondered. There was a sleeve of crackers on her tray as well, if she was feeling up to eating something solid. 

“I’m doing better. Thanks,” Alex did her best to show just how appreciative she was with a smile. She really was grateful for all her team was doing to make sure she beat that fever. It was a lot like how they had helped her fight the monster in her dream. Maybe that was why she dreamt it. They would always be there for her.


	87. Chapter 87

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set between seasons 2 & 3\. Inspired by wondering where Nikita got the gum to spit on Amanda's floor in that one flashback.

They were cleaning out ops. There were mission files and paperwork from Percy’s and Amanda’s administrations that needed to be collected and read over by Ryan and some special teams. So they needed to collect them as well as clean up some of the mess that was left behind. Their raid definitely dirtied things, but they were also repurposing the room. The only active missions were going to be collecting some of the agents that hadn’t come into the fold yet. New Division didn’t need an excessive operations center. As Ryan had begun to say, there were going to be small missions with small impact.

Because Nikita, Alex, and Birkhoff had each made quips and complaints about cleaning up, they were the ones asked to do so. Michael got dragged into the chore by a grumpy Nikita. Alex attempted to do the same with Sean, but he had some Seal stuff to take care of. Birkhoff didn’t even try to bring Sonya in; it would’ve been too cruel for the start of their relationship. So, it was just the four of them listening to music, talking, and cleaning. The chore wasn’t as bad as they had thought, yet it was tedious. Eventually, Nikita threw down a handful of files she was digging through and flopped onto the floor, “Is it lunch break yet?”

Rolling his green eyes, Michael started to pick up what she had dropped, “We’ve only been here for two hours. I told you to bring a snack to eat. And before you say it, coffee is not a snack.”

“I’m not hungry. I’m just bored,” Nikita whined. It wasn’t really her fault that she was so understimulated. For years she had been running mission to mission. Being in one place for so long without shooting or punching anyone was weird. She hadn’t adjusted to the stillness of her victory. She might start yoga classes or something, keep her body and mind active during all of the new down time.

Alex threw her broom at Nikita. It landed nowhere near its target, but she shrugged. She’d much rather read through reports than clean. Who knew what was left behind in the room. Sure, recruits would take turns doing different chores around Division. However, there hadn’t been any new recruits in a while. It was up to them to clean the dungeon from then on. Alex was not looking forward to it, “We could switch jobs.”

“I’m not taking responsibility for all the screen protectors you’ve already broken,” Nikita attempted to reach for the broom handle from where she was, so she could throw it back at Alex. When she couldn’t reach it, she gave up.

“‘All the screen protectors’?” Incredulously, Birkhoff glared. He had been clearing out any electronic files on his computer, successfully ignoring Nikita. He had become all too used to her overactivity. From recruit to teammate, she had always been up to something and on the go. He knew even a second of quiet bored her. However, his attention snapped at the mention of his tech breaking. That, he simply could not ignore.

“She’s lying,” Was Alex’s only defense. While cleaning she had dropped a couple of tablets. The overall devices were perfectly fine, just the protectors cracked. It wasn’t that big of a deal. To Birkhoff, however, it was.

Fortunately for Alex, Michael was changing the subject. He collected Nikita’s files and added them to his paperwork on one of the desktops. He wanted out of there as fast as possible. He thought he had finally found an apartment for him and Nikita, and he wanted to show it to her before the end of the day. They needed to get out of that safehouse with everybody else. They needed their own place for once. The two of them simply had to finish their chores first, “Let’s just get back to work. The faster we get this done, the faster we can leave.”

“Ooh. We can all go out to lunch,” Alex excitedly jumped to the idea, picking the broom back up. Nikita nodded in agreement, and hopped to her feet. The group continued their tasks, that time silently listening to the music playing. There would be no conversations to distract them. They could focus on only what they were doing. They moved faster that way. Everything was going along smoothly, until Birkhoff reached under his work station.

He was trying to grab the harddrive to remove it from the computer, when his hand brushed across something under the desk. When he ducked to get a look at what it was, he shouted, “Ah. Gross.”

“What is it?” Bringing a disinfectant spray with her, Alex wondered. She figured he had found a dead bug. She had already discovered a dead roach; insects were bound to find their way inside. Division might have been a dungeon, but it wasn’t immune to creepy crawlers.

“It’s chewed up bubblegum,” Birkhoff was absolutely disgusted. Judging by what he had felt and seen, it was an old piece of gum. The idea of someone sticking their nasty chewed up bubblegum under his workstation made him both furious and revolted. He couldn’t understand who could be that repulsive. 

Although Michael shot Nikita a look that she managed to ignore, Birkhoff and Alex didn’t notice. They were busy working together to scrape off the gum. It took them some time and a couple of pens, but they successfully unstuck it. Once it was on the floor, Ales swept it up and threw it away, “We weren’t allowed gum in here.”

“I think the truly disgusting thing here is that it took Nerd almost eight years to find that,” Michael’s intense stare got Nikita to open up. She had been the one to stick her bubblegum under Birkhoff’s workstation when she was still a recruit. Honestly, she forgot all about the prank. It had been so long ago, and she thought he had found it already. Apparently she overestimated how much he would have noticed. 

“You put gum under my desk?” Whereas Birkhoff shrieked, Alex laughed. Michael chuckled with her. He didn’t see Nikita place the gum under the desk, but he knew she was the only one inside of Division to have ever chewed gum. Also, who else was as good at riling Birkhoff up as her. 

Flipping through a couple of pages in a file, Nikita decided to explain, “When I first came in ops as a recruit, you said a stupid joke. So, I stuck my gum on your station. I also spat gum on Amanda's floor, if that makes you feel better.”

“Where the hell did you get gum?” Alex finally asked. No one had had bubblegum or chewing gum while she was in Division. It was never one of the prizes they could earn for doing an exceptional job. She was kind of jealous that Nikita had gotten some. 

“Where do you think?” Nikita rolled her brown eyes and pointed to Michael. He simply shrugged his shoulders, continuing his work. They all knew she was always his favorite. They shouldn’t have been that surprised that she got extra perks. Birkhoff, however, was annoyed that the gum he had given to her ended up under his desk. No matter what, those two consistently gave him a headache. 

Michael was doing his best not getting roped into the subject. He was determined to finish his chore so he could show Nikita the apartment he had discovered. But the others just kept staring at him, “It was her prize for not killing anybody inside Division.”

“What? I didn’t get anything when I stopped beating up Jaden,” Alex was offended. She abandoned her cleaning once again to berate the others. She had been threatened so many times over her arguing with Jaden, yet she never got a prize whenever she stopped. Sure, Nikita was the all time favorite. But everybody compared Alex to her. It just wasn’t fair.

“That’s ‘cause you never stopped,” Easily, Michael recalled. Even when she was an agent, Alex and Jaden fought. He thought it would eventually run its course, yet it never did.

“You can blame Nikita for that,” Alex grumbled as she resumed wiping down a desktop. 

Confused, Nikita gave up skimming through her current stack of paperwork. That was not true. She told Alex to do a lot of things, but never to antagonize the other recruits. She had to keep her head down when she was her mole, not start fights, “I didn’t tell you to do shit to Jaden. I did tell you to mess with Nerd, but you never did.”

Birkhoff just rolled his eyes. He was taking a cue from Michael and continued to focus on his chores. On the other hand, Alex kept defending herself while haphazardly spraying disinfectant, “Well. I did spy on him, stole his thumbprint, made him spill his drink on his computer, and called him ‘Jerk Off’ behind his back,”

“That’s awesome,” Michael and Nikita laughed. Alex smirked proudly.

Meanwhile, Birkhoff glared. He was aware of the thumbprint and the spying, but not the nickname or the energy drink spill. Alex tried to appease him with a bright smile,“Love ya, B.”

“Whatever. You’re paying for my lunch. I expect some expensive shit, Princess,” Punctuating his point, Birkhoff slammed a key on his keyboard. The command moved old mission files off of the drive and into a secure location for Ryan to look at. He only had a few more things left to do after that before he was done with his share of cleaning. A great lunch was in his sights. 

Michael shook his head, compiling some of his files and Nikita’s paperwork into a comprehensive stack. It would be simpler to go through the rest of them if they were organized, “I don’t wanna dress up for expensive.”

“Can we just go to those semi-fast food restaurant chains and rack up a drink bill?” Nikita suggested. She seriously needed some alcohol after reading some of the shit in those files.

“Sounds good to me,” Birkhoff agreed. Michael took a moment to think, then agreed too. He’d eat just about anywhere, especially if Nikita was with him. Alex needed a little bit more convincing; it was her money they were going to be using. Although she wasn’t going to drink, somebody had to have been their designated driver. Besides, eating lunch with her friends was the main thing she was going to do. And that was always fun. Teasing them while they were drunk was just going to be an added bonus.

“Alright. Then let’s finish up,” Once the four of them had all agreed, Michael put them back on track. With a solid lunch plan in place, it didn’t take them much longer to finish their chores. They told Ryan they were done and bolted out of the bunker, laughing. Lunch was going to be just as chaotic as cleaning was, yet they had all accepted that fact. When wasn’t it wild whenever the four of them got together. Their history and friendship ran too deep for calm, simple, and quiet.


	88. Chapter 88

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set between seasons 2 & 3, and after the last chapter. Inspired by a comment on Fanfiction about Alex dealing with Nikita, Birkhoff, and Michael's drunken shenanigans.

“If you say ‘what’s up dog’, I’ll give you fifty bucks,” Nikita rolled her head on the back of the couch as she faced Michael. He was sitting right next to her, his shoulder brushing her’s. He had been twisting her hair around his fingers and softly rambling about something, but at her loud whisper he did his best to snap his attention to her. It took a moment for his mind to catch up to the sentence. Once it did, he was enthusiastically all for it. 

Nikita nodded, and rolled her head to face Birkhoff. He was sitting right next to her, his shoulder brushing her’s. He was on the verge of sleep, his eyes drooping and his mouth parted open. Feeling her move beside him, startled him fully awake. She whispered to him with the same loud volume, “I bet you a hundred bucks I can make Michael say ‘what’s up dog’.”

“Deal,” Birkhoff didn’t even question her. Sluggishly, he fumbled out his wallet from his pocket and took out two fifty dollar bills. Nikita regarded them to make sure they weren’t fake, but it was a short inspection. She burped in his face, and he didn’t even blink. Michael, on the other hand, was dying of laughter. He claimed that was one of the funniest things he had ever seen. Nikita smirked proudly. Birkhoff just stared, waiting for the bet to continue. 

“Hey, Michael,” Eventually, Nikita said. Michael’s laughter had made her start to giggle, and it took her a second to collect herself. She almost forgot what her plan was, her mind had been momentarily distracted. Closing her brown eyes tightly and shaking her head put her right back on track.

Michael had to keep fighting his laughter, however. The idea of saying ‘what’s up dog’ was cracking him up. He didn’t think he had ever said those words since he was a kid. They were ridiculous and never fit into a normal conversation. He had to compose himself before replying to Nikita. Fifty dollars was on the line. He had to make certain he was clear and precise. With a cough he finally blurted out, “What’s up dog?”

“Damn,” Birkhoff handed Nikita the hundred dollars, emotionlessly. He rested his head back on the cushion and returned to his stupor. He didn’t see Nikita hand half of that hundred to Michael, or their celebration at winning money. If he had felt them dancing next to him on the couch or heard them giggling, he didn’t show it. He was more or less out of it. 

“What the fuck you guys?” Alex had witnessed the whole interaction across the living room, sitting in a chair and chewing gum. She had been keeping an eye on the three for hours, but that was the strangest thing she had seen and heard yet. They must’ve been close to the end of their drunken state. They were tired, giggly, and getting on her nerves. She was certain if she got them to lay down and drink more water, they’d be sober within the next hour or so. She was debating it. But considering that Birkhoff was already out and Nikita and Michael were close to it while they laughed and leaned on one another, she’d just let it run its course. God knew she had done enough already that afternoon.

After they had cleaned ops in Division, they had run out to lunch. Alex was buying, but since they didn’t want to change from their cleaning clothes they decided to rack up the drink bill instead of the food bill. The four of them went to a casual dining restaurant chain that didn’t have a limit on alcoholic beverages, settling in for some fun. Before they had gone inside, however, Michael ran to a newspaper stand across the street. He bought Alex a couple packs of chewing gum as an apology for not treating her as a favorite when she was a recruit. It was also an apology for anything he was going to do while intoxicated. Alex kept that in mind whenever he started to annoy her too much. 

Their lunch was fairly standard for a while. They all ate, while Birkhoff, Nikita, and Michael drank. It was a mixture of celebrating their new life and victory, and forgetting some of the things they had read in the files. Nikita knew it wasn’t the healthiest thing to do, yet she had been clean for long enough to have known her limits. She could get just past tipsy and be fine; she wouldn’t be at the risk of overdoing it or getting blackout drunk. She was going to be alright. Michael and Birkhoff weren’t as clear of their limits, though. Once the men were feeling loose and buzzed, the drinks kept coming.

Alex had had fun with her drunk friends over lunch. She teased them and riled them up, and laughed at their reactions. She made fun of Nikita for coming up with out of the box ideas and plans, making her giggle uncontrollably. She taunted Michael for being serious all the time, forcing him to go on a rant about how he has lightened up a lot because of his team. And she poked fun at Birkhoff's hacker gloating, causing him to start an insult to hurl back at her but he never finished one. The three were very similar to a bunch of toddlers. They were giggly, rambly, and incoherent. Alex was having a blast. Until it came to taking them home.

It was a lot of effort getting them in the car and buckled up. When that fiasco was over, Alex went back to teasing Nikita, Birkhoff, and Michael. They were distracted by each other in the backseat, however. Her taunts didn’t have any power over them anymore. It was still enjoyable hearing them bicker behind her. Apparently Nikita was taking up too much leg space from the middle seat. She didn’t move, instead she spread out even more. She pushed Michael and Birkhoff against the windows, despite their protests. As they squabbled, Alex laughed. She made no move to stop their yelling and shoving, especially since the words they shouted made no sense. 

However when her chair was kicked at a stoplight, she did turn around and snap at the three. They could keep fighting, but if they disturbed her driving they were going to walk back to the safehouse. Nikita laughed uproariously at the threat. Tears were streaming down her face, she was laughing so hard. Michael smiled proudly at Alex. He started to ramble about her growing up and becoming a mature adult. Birkhoff, on the other hand, was deeply offended. He would’ve said something mean, had his mind been running at full capacity. The rest of the car ride was full of the teasing and giggling from before. They couldn’t stay angry for long with that much alcohol in their systems.

Alex thought she could leave them alone at the house. She went to her room to drop off her purse and shoes, and chew one of the pieces of gum Michael had bought her. However, Nikita, Birkhoff, and Michael grabbed some of the alcohol they had in the kitchen. They wanted to continue the light feeling as they watched a movie. They only took a couple of shots, but that was enough to make them even crazier. When Alex came back out into the living room, Birkhoff was showering Nikita and Michael with dollar bills as they wrestled on the floor. All she could do was just stare at the mess before her.

The second the two broke one of the shot glasses, Alex intervened. She got Michael to tell Nikita about the apartment hunting so they’d be distracted enough while she cleaned the glass. Her idea backfired when Nikita discovered Michael had found an apartment; she had to see it that instant. Luckily, Birkhoff ratted them out and Alex was able to grab them before they could run off. She promised they could go once they sobered up. They agreed, then pounced on Birkhoff for tattling.

Things got a little weird after that. Birkhoff picked up his money, but then he just laid on the floor. He waved his arms around and stared at the ceiling, not saying a word. Michael looked like he was doing some kind of yoga on the couch. He said it was important to keep the body active even during downtime. And Nikita was hyperfocused on the DVD cases that had gotten scattered around. She read the synopsis on the back of each one, as though studying which was the perfect movie.

Eventually, Alex got the three to simply sit on the couch together. They were coming down and on the verge of sobering up. Nikita more so than the men, but that was because she had drunk the least. Birkhoff was ready to pass out, and Michael seemed like he wanted a nap. Alex had given up on teasing them, but after the bet she started again. She had to admit, it was funnier when they didn’t respond. They stared at her and let her berate them. Soon, Birkhoff was asleep and Michael wasn’t far behind. Nikita laid awake sandwiched between them, running her fingers through her boyfriend's hair and staring at the wall. 

Alex rolled her blue eyes, and tidied up the mess the three created. She made fun of them a lot, the least she could do was somewhat clean for them. She put on a movie for herself and Nikita to watch, about the same time Sean came over. He decided after his Seal duties he’d pop by and see what everyone else was up to. Upon entering the house, he could smell strong alcohol. He rounded the corner into the living room and saw Michael and Birkhoff passed out, and Alex and Nikita watching a movie like zombies. He was confused to say the least, “What the hell happened?”

“You can babysit next time,” Blowing a bubble with her gum, Alex replied. She wasn’t going to be a designated driver anytime soon. Unfortunately, the next time heavy alcohol use occurred, Sean was one of the drinkers. It was at Birkhoff’s new apartment and involved a football game, after all. Alex did get to make fun of the men again, but she was worn out from babysitting drunk toddlers. It was fun at times. But the cleaning up and making sure they didn’t get hurt was too much. 


	89. Chapter 89

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set pre-series in Nikita's Division days, after the Brandt mission. Inspired by the flashbacks from 2x19 "Wrath" and Nikita's comment to Michael about it in the beginning of the episode. 

_ You have evil in you. _

She had been feeling sick ever since he had said those words to her. She was already feeling lost and shaken, but those words rattled her to her core. She wanted to defend herself, yet it seemed to have been in vain. What could she have said to excuse her actions. Sure he was a monster, and deserved everything that was coming to him. What she did, however. Something deep within her had taken over her, controlling her. It was as though someone else was in that room. It wasn’t her. She couldn’t have been like that.

But she was. Percy had said as much. There were monsters out there, and she was one of them. How else was she to explain the blood on her face, blouse, and hands. She clawed out Brandt’s eye without a moment of hesitation, not anyone else. That was her, someone she always tried not to be. She was an evil woman, capable of terrible and gruesome things. And out of everything she had done inside of Division, that fact terrified her the most.

Doing her best to cover her shaking body and blood soaked skin, she went to hide in the bathrooms. If she was going to be sick, that was the best place to be. Besides, no one hung out there if they could help it. She could be alone for a moment, just long enough to collect herself. She sort of felt like crying. That seemed like the reasonable thing to do. Once she had gotten past the shock of her actions, she could let the fear of it take over. But not at Division. Word could get back to Percy, or worse to Amanda. She needed to be as stoic as any other agent.

However, didn’t that play into Percy’s words. Wouldn’t not showing any emotion prove how evil and monstrous she was. She should be horrified by the fact that she ripped out a person’s eye. Even if that person was Brandt. She shouldn’t have felt unmoved by her actions. And she definitely shouldn’t have felt proud of herself. She didn’t want to admit it, but hearing that bastard scream in pain was satisfying. It was payback for all the people he had hurt, for all the women he had hurt, for all the times he had hurt her. She was giving voice to his victims by clawing out his eye. That wasn’t evil. Revenge shouldn’t have been monstrous.

But she still felt sick, uncertain, and lost. Percy had gotten to her. She’d admit that much. After that harrowing mission, Brandt wasn’t called the evil one she was. She lived through what he did to her, she brought a bad guy down, but she was evil. It wasn’t as though she could refute the claim. She was covered in another person’s blood, and she enjoyed how that came to be. There was no denying that she was evil.

Maybe she could fight it, though. Staring at herself in the bathroom mirror, she knew she could fight past that. Her brown eyes shone with too much determination to back down without a swinging fist. Amanda had talked about masks, well she guessed then was as good a time as any to follow that advice. First she had to scrub away the blood, all of the dark crimson blood marring her olive skin. That was a little tougher than she had thought. Some of it had seeped through her blouse onto her chest. She needed to take a shower and change her clothes. Fortunately, she was in a place that allowed her to do so. Unfortunately, it was with the Division communal showers and Division sweats.

She didn’t look at the blood washing down the drain. She wanted to focus on other things, like not getting soap in her eye and not slipping. She scrubbed and scrubbed at her skin until it was raw. Only then did she feel clean of the filth. The mask was being slipped into place. She just had to keep moving forward and keep pushing it down. She could ignore it with all of the evidence gone. She could pretend it never happened. She never did such a horrific thing; she wasn’t evil.

When she was clean and toweled dry, she pulled on some recruit sweats she had found lying around. She knew one of the first steps to feeling good was looking good, but she could do that later at her apartment. That time was for rinsing it all away, and it seemed to be going well. She didn’t feel sick anymore. She felt more control of herself. Except the words kept rattling in her head. She just had to shake it off. She couldn’t get lost in them. If she got lost, the mask fell. And who knew who she would be if that protective shield she was building fell down.

Voices nearing the bathroom made her hurriedly fix herself. She tied up her wet hair, and secured the sweats on her lithe frame. With a deep breath, she attempted to fortify herself even more. It was one thing to fall apart when she was alone. She couldn’t do so while others were around. She needed her new mask more than ever. She was a little surprised to see Michael chuckling as he walked into the bathroom. She thought he was going to be on assignment for a couple more days. He seemed surprised to see her also. But he smiled brightly at the sight of her, “Hey, Nikita.”

Somehow, the sound of her name comforted her. It sort of grounded Nikita to reality. She wasn’t just another agent to be used to Percy’s whim. Or another one of Brandt’s girls. She was Nikita. Her breath became easier to take in, “Hey, Michael. You’re back early.”

“What can I say? I led a great mission,” His proud smirk caused her to roll her eyes. But she wasn’t too annoyed with him. Michael’s smugness helped Nikita keep her mind off of the thoughts that were dragging her down. She could focus on him and his story instead. Studying her with his evergreen eyes, Michael wondered, “I’m guessing your’s didn’t go so well, if your in recruit sweats and chose to shower here.”

Nikita struggled to remain nonchalant. She could tell Michael anything, she knew that. However, she was afraid of admitting the truth of who she was- of the evil monster she was. She had to continue with her mask. She had to build the shield that drove the evil back to the dark deep inside herself. Fake bravado filled her voice and smile. She forced herself to be the Nikita Michael thought he knew, “There’s not much to say. Just got a little messy.”

Michael regarded Nikita for a moment. He didn’t appear to be buying her brush off. Yet that only lasted a second before he flashed her another trademark smirk. Holding up his duffel bag, he headed towards a changing stall, “That’s why I bring extra clothes. You know us boy scouts are always prepared.”

“Like you were ever a boy scout,” Leaning against the wall and crossing her arms, Nikita scoffed. Talking to Michael was helping. She felt more relaxed and at ease. Banter flowed easily past her lips, and easily pushed those dark thoughts further back in her mind. Her mask fell over her smoothly. She never had to try too hard around him.

“You don’t know what I’ve done,” Michael teased, poking his head over the door. Nikita enjoyed seeing the lighter side of her handler. And she figured he enjoyed showing that to her. The tension usually surrounding him disappeared whenever he flashed her one of his rare smiles. It was comforting. 

A part of her reminded her that he wouldn’t act like that if he knew how evil she was. But she shut that part up with another quip, “I think I do. I mean. You, my handler, are changing in front of me, your agent. Seems a little risqué for a boy scout if you ask me.”

Something about her sentence caused Michael to stumble and fall as he was putting on his shoes. Nikita giggled and he groaned, “You owe me a burger.”

“Isn’t it a little early for a burger,” She had sworn she had come into Division in the morning. She brought Brandt to Percy right away. She may have spent an hour or so in the bathroom calming herself and showering, but not long enough for it to be lunch time. Besides, Michael should’ve debriefed from his mission. He probably just got back. 

“It’s seven at night,” Michael said, confused. Nikita snapped her head to the clock on the wall, and sure enough he was right. She had spent the whole day in the bathroom. She wondered for a brief moment how she had never run into anyone else. But then she remembered the showers were separated from the stalls. She was just left alone as she grappled with who she was, until Michael wandered in probably after his debriefing. Nikita tried not to panic at the fact that she had lost track of time so easily. She had been so lost and scared, the whole day slipped past. But her mask was going to fix that for the future. It had to. 

And it had to fix the way Michael kept staring at her. He came out of the changing stall, approaching her with so much concern in his eyes, “Are you alright?”

“Yeah. Just a little more jetlagged than I thought. So what? You wanna grab Nerd and go to that diner with those shakes. Celebrate your success,” Nikita rushed through, pushing off the wall and away from him. She could distract Michael with the promise of relaxation and a chance out of the basement. She could even distract herself. 

“As long as you’re buying,” A moment later, Michael agreed. 

Although he was back to teasing her, Nikita could still see the worry in his eyes. She had to fortify her mask and shield, make them stronger. So she rolled her eyes again, and nudged him when he was by her side, “You sure know how to treat a girl.” 

Chuckling softly, Michael reached for something in his duffel bag. After digging around for a bit, he pulled out a little snowglobe of a beach. He had grabbed it from a gift shop when he was tailing the mark. It was just meant to be his cover, but he decided to give it to someone rather than throw it away. He handed the snowglobe to Nikita, and smiled brightly, “That make it up to you?”

“You’re getting there,” Nikita stared at the snowglobe in her hand. She was going to get there as well, past the evil inside of her. And maybe, she could escape all of the monsters and evil by going to a beach like the one in the novelty gift. It was a silly dream to hold onto. But it helped her fortify her mask. That, and Michael. 


	90. Chapter 90

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set sometime in season 3. Inspired by some Jenna Marbles' videos.

“Why is the gi so heavy? It’s like wearing snow pants and a snow coat,” Nikita complained as she slowly tied up her dark hair. She moved around in the gi over her workout clothes, moping at the weight and movement.

Alex agreed with her sentiment. She was on the mat curled into her jacket, “There’s just something about it that makes me want to go to sleep. It’s so hot.”

Watching the women, Michael and Sean sighed. When they agreed to show them some Jiu-Jitsu techniques, they didn't expect them to complain. In fact, the two seemed excited at first to learn new fighting skills to take down opponents and put them into submission skills. The selling point was that Jiu-Jitsu was meant for a smaller person to take down a larger component. That was perfect for Alex and Nikita who already used speed over strength against their targets. Their excitement faded once the men showed them the gear they had to wear. It was so they could practice safely, but the women were not thrilled.

“Alright guys. Let’s start with some warmup drills. You already know situps, rolls, and hip escapes. So I suggest you start with those,” Michael ignored the complaints and pushed forward. He expected that there were going to be many teases and griping coming from the two. Might as well begin ignoring it then.

“Yes, sensei,” Nikita dropped down into a roll. She expressed disdain at the weight of the gi once more, but continued to do as instructed. Alex was much more sluggish as she moved around on the mat.

Sean rolled his hazel eyes at the women. It was going to be a long training session, “It’s not sensei. It’s just coach or, you know, our names.”

“Is it papa, father, dojo master, nunchuck master daddy,” Alex and Nikita stopped warming up to blurt out their suggestions for how to address Michael and Sean. Whereas they giggled loudly, the men bit their laughter back. If they started to laugh, the women would know their jabs were getting to them and they would never stop. The men had to be serious if they wanted to be able to teach them the new techniques.

So, Sean and Michael got Nikita and Alex to continue their warmups- sort of. Alex lied about warming up before practice that day while she sluggishly did some hip escapes, and Nikita kept saying she was a threat as she rolled around. Eventually, Nikita popped out of a roll and pretended to punch Alex in the face. Alex flinched and yelped in surprise. Before she could retaliate, Sean and Michael reminded them that there were no strikes in Jiu-Jitsu; it was all about tackling and holding. That only led to another list from the women, “What about pinching, pulling, spitting, scratching, tickling.”

In silent agreement, Michael took Nikita to one end of the mat and Sean took Alex to the other. Their teasing wouldn’t hold so much power if they were separated. Besides, the men could handle one of them on their own. Michael was able to instruct Nikita on some guards and some chokeholds without too much interruption. Until she was on her back waiting for the next position, however. Then, she started to make fun of the different names for the moves, “I call this one the beetle. ‘Cause I say Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, and I kick ‘em in the nuts.”

She illustrated her made up move by striking out a foot at Michael. He was able to avoid it and roll his green eyes. She laughed, continuing with her demonstration by pretending to throw an uppercut from the ground. He did his best not to laugh with her, “Are you just about done?”

Nodding, Nikita watched and listened to the instructions of the next chokehold. When Michael moved closer to her to perform the hold, she stopped paying attention and tried to kiss him. He drew back surprised, which caused her to repeat her actions. He shook his head vehemently, “Don’t kiss me while we're sparring.”

“Why? What’s your move against that?” Nikita was daring him. Michael answered back with a smirk. He applied the chokehold, but she took what she had learned to escape from him and choke him back. He had no choice but to tap out. She hopped to her feet and did a little dance in celebration, “Ha. You just got Jiu-Jitsued.”

“Alright. Harder moves it is,” Michael upped the ante by tackling Nikita back to the mat. He began to show her more advanced holds and maneuvers. But with every one of his instructions, she met him with attempts of caresses or kisses. He squirmed at her movements, not liking the juxtaposition of fighting with her as she was flirting. Soon, he couldn’t take much more of it. He put her in a hold she couldn’t flirt her way out of. She had other ideas, however.

“Wait. Hold on. I have an idea,” Nikita placed one hand curled over Michael’s knee, the other she used as a fist to push it down. It simulated an egg cracking, and made the sensitive nerves in his knee feel on fire. He broke away from her laughing, stirring her on. Just like her beetle position, after he showed her a move she came up with one of her own. Michael gave up on being serious around that time. It was much more fun playing along with Nikita. She came up with some crazy scenarios, yet he fed into them by showing her something that complemented it. 

At some point, Nikita brought over her waterbottle and sprayed Michael in the face with it. He got her back by pretending he was going to teach her something, yet spritzed her instead. She tried to attack him with her limited Jiu-Jitsu knowledge. It worked for a moment, but his experience took over. While she tapped out, he mentioned something about being a non-athlete. She scoffed at the fact, “Boy, I can swim laps around you.”

Nikita’s statement was emphasized by her pointing harshly to the crotch of Michael’s gi. Chuckling, he decided to comment on that, “Don’t roast my dick.”

“I’ll roast whatever I want to,” She continued her actions, moving closer into him. Michael propped himself onto his elbows, and watched Nikita’s actions in amusement. It was a lot more enjoyable teaching her to fight as her fiancé than as her handler. They were more carefree and open with one another. And they had freedom to act however they wanted with one another. No one was there to punish them or judge them. 

With his trademark smirk, Michael thought about a way to get back at Nikita. He meant it purely in jest. He knew just how far she had come since she was a child, and he was proud of her for it. But he was still going to use some of her past to tease her, “Well at least I finished my highschool sports career.”

“That's it. You’re going down,” Aware that he was only kidding, Nikita launched herself at Michael. They both laughed as they wrestled with a mixture of their fake and real moves.

Across the gym, Sean and Alex were having their own adventures practicing Jiu-Jitsu. Sean was trying his best to remain stoic, yet Alex’s silly complaints were getting to him. She was doing everything he was instructing. She was also doing a great job at learning the new skills. She was just finding new ways to get under his skin. Such as, wearing socks on the mat. He reached to take them off, knowing she was going to slip at some point, “Take your socks off.”

“I don’t want to get my feet dirty,” Alex glanced at the floor in disgust. The mat could get disgusting at times, but they did clean it. Sean wasn’t having the excuse and tore her socks off. She huffed, “No, Sean. Now I feel exposed,”

The two went back to teaching and learning Jiu-Jitsu. However, everything Sean said was contradicted by Alex. She teased and griped at every move and hold. She even screamed in his ear while he had her in a chokehold, but when he let go she mockingly claimed she hadn’t tapped out. Her complaints were meant to be light and funny, and force him to laugh along with her. He wanted to be serious, but he couldn’t help himself around her. Whenever she giggled, so did he. It was fun and freeing simply goofing around together. 

“Don’t tell me you complained this much when Nikita taught you,” Sean quipped after Alex had pulled off a successful submission. He could easily imagine her teasing Nikita at every move while they were training together. Her taunts were possibly more bitter than fun at the beginning of her lessons. But as they began to know one another, she began to lighten up. That was how their relationship had progressed. Once Alex had felt comfortable with someone, her walls fell down. Sean was glad he was able to see who she was without that guard around her heart. He was glad he had her trust. 

“No. I was a good student, ‘cause Nikita’s a better teacher,” Alex jabbed at Sean as she waited to learn the next position. She smirked at him, proud at her taunt. He had to make her pay for her remark. He grabbed at her with a move she hadn’t learned yet, and she instantly regretted her words. She attempted to fight him off, “No, no. It was a joke. It was a joke. Don’t make me pay for my mistakes.”

Alex eventually escaped from the hold. She managed to put Sean in a hold of her own until he tapped out. After that, he thought he could show her more complex positions. She was a fast learner, and the point of the practice was to prepare her to fight opponents of greater size. Although she kept her teasing complaints, she was able to accomplish the harder techniques- somewhat. She struggled to break free, and it took her a moment to learn them for herself. When he had her in a particular tough hold, she choked out, “I feel like this is an unfair weight advantage.”

Sean’s laughter was what got her to escape and retaliate. He wanted to be bitter that she had distracted him for the take down, yet he was proud of her. She was using what she could to take down an opponent. He would have done the same. The two continued to practice Jiu-Jitsu, grappling harder and harder. They taunted and baited one another into submission, laughing the whole time. It was fun messing with one another and improving their skills. Sean and Alex were able to learn and build off of one another. It was as though they were the perfect partners. 

Though eventually, Sean called it quits for the day. They had been practicing for hours and he was tired. Even Michael and Nikita were starting to wrap up. Alex took that to mean that she had won, “Ops. Yes hello. I’m officially a Jiu-Jitsu master.”

Upon hearing that, Nikita swept Alex’s legs out from under her. She had to always expect the unexpected. They all laughed it off, and packed up to go home. The practice may have started off as annoying, but it ended with the four of them having the most fun they had had in awhile. Learning new skills with someone they could relax around was great; there was no pressure for perfection. They were able to gain new techniques and laugh. Having fun was one of the more important things they could’ve done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! :) It really means so much to me that you all enjoy these stories. I don't think I would have made it to 90 without you guys.


	91. Chapter 91

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An AU set pre-series in Nikita's Division days. Inspired by some thoughts on the Sean saves Alex from Ronnie AU. Why couldn't Nikita be there that day, and what kind of mission made Sean's Seal friend turn to drugs? I have an idea that boils down to Michael being in the CIA after the carbomb killed his family and (in this story) took his hand, while Ryan is in Division. Long story short, I want to try it out as a one shot before I make this into one whole multi-chapter.

Nikita wasn’t exactly paying that much attention. Saying she was lost in thought would’ve been an understatement. She thought she could explore her new apartment building’s gym, distract herself with the few perks Division provided. But that only led her to be alone with her thoughts as she exercised. The music blasting through her earbuds could very well have been on mute for how much she listened to it. Her mind was racing a lot faster than her feet on the inclined treadmill. It was all Ryan Fletcher’s fault.

She had thought they were getting closer. He was her handler, but she could’ve sworn they were close friends. He had told her how he had been recruited by Division. His older brother was killed while on assignment for the Army. Ryan discovered it was some sort of conspiracy, and the only way he could figure it out was by joining forces with Division. She, Amanda, and Percy were the only ones to know that fact. That should’ve been proof enough that their friendship was serious. He trusted her more than anyone else. But Ryan recommended Nikita for deep cover in Chicago. He was pushing her away just as she was getting closer. She couldn’t make any sense of it.

Ryan was the only person inside Division Nikita trusted completely. Sure, she trusted Nerd to hack a computer and make her laugh, and she trusted Kelly to somewhat have her back on missions. But she could confide in Ryan. He supported her and protected her. He was a great handler to her, and an even better friend. They had fun together, whether it was sparring, coming up with mission plans, or simply getting a coffee. Despite all of that, he pushed her away to Chicago. It was as though he was ending their friendship by forcing her to stay so far from him. He became just like any other Division goon. He believed attachments to be dangerous, so he severed theirs. 

Feeling confused and hurt, Nikita thought running was the answer. Running and swimming always relaxed her body and mind. But she didn’t know the city enough to find a pool, or to run around outside. Her apartment building’s gym was the solution to that problem. There weren’t that many residents taking up the equipment on a Sunday afternoon. She could run on the inclined treadmill without interruption- for about an hour, at least. Trying not to think about Ryan and focus on her music instead, Nikita didn’t notice the man walking beside her with weights in his hands. She also didn’t notice the weights slipping from his grip and falling on the back of her treadmill.

The belt buckled under the sudden weight, stuttering and sliding. Nikita’s feet couldn’t keep up with the change, and slipped as well. Her foot tripped on one of the weights, causing her to stumble. Surprised, she started to fall. Quick hands reached out to grab her before she hit the belt. They got her securely on the floor and on her feet. She immediately surveyed the scene around her to piece together what had happened. Spotting the spilled weights and a very apologetic man answered her question. She angrily turned off the treadmill and ripped out one of her earbuds. She wasn’t in the mood for careless people at the gym, “What the hell was that?”

“I’m so sorry. The weights just slipped from my hands. Are you okay?” The man was sincere in his apology. His green eyes shone with general concern for her wellbeing. Nikita found her anger dissipating at the expression. She couldn’t be upset when he was so remorseful. He had also helped her to her feet and not land face first on the treadmill. 

“What, is it your first day with new hands?” Nikita decided on teasing the man in lieu of an acceptance. Taunting was always easier for her to deal with. A smug grin lifted much more effortlessly across her full lips than a sincere one. However, she didn’t think or pause before she spoke. Ryan and Amanda consistently reminded her to not say the first thing on her mind. But as always, she never listened. She should’ve taken the advice then. Racking her brown eyes over the tall, muscular man, she noticed his right hand was prosthetic. Whereas her smugness crumbled into regret, he laughed at her remark. 

“Second day with the new upgrade, actually,” He flexed the prosthetic in demonstration. He appeared more amused by her comment than anything else; he even flashed her a smirk. Maybe because she didn’t give him any pity. Nikita had seen her fair share of terrible wounds. If the wound was bad enough, however, Division would’ve canceled them. She had seen agents push past gruesome breaks and nasty cuts because of that threat. Most people could survive and live successfully with their injuries and illnesses. And considering the man was laughing it off, he was no exception. Nikita’s smug grin returned as she crouched down to help him pick up the weights. 

“Should’ve asked for a better one,” When he squatted down to her level, she quipped. The man laughed once more, that time fuller and brighter. Her mischievous brown eyes connected with his smiling green, and she felt a spark explode between them. She wasn’t sure what that meant or why she had butterflies in her stomach, but she was certain she wasn’t a fan of that feeling. Hiding a blush that crept up on her olive cheeks, Nikita carried a weight to the benchpress the man indicated. It was right next to her treadmill. She decided to focus on the already weighted bar instead of that spark, “Especially if you’re gonna lift without a spotter.”

The man rolled his eyes. He placed a weight on one side of the bar while Nikita did the other. They worked well together for strangers; their actions were simultaneous. When all the weights were secured, the man moved to sit on the bench. He silently asked that since she mentioned it, she should spot him. Somehow understanding, she sighed. He began to lift, “Gotta get used to my hand somehow. Besides. I’m not gonna take gym safety advice from the woman sprinting at the top speed.”

“I like to live on the edge,” Crossing her arms, Nikita shrugged. He chuckled on the exhale of his lift. His hand seemed to be handling the bar better than the weights, though it did twitch every now and again. As she spotted for him, she was able to get a better look at the man. He was definitely well defined and muscled. He must've regularly exercised and lifted weights. His pale skin was also slicked with sweat; she guessed the benchpress was not his first station at the gym. His dark brown hair flopped in his face, adding to the scruffiness his beard provided. Her fingers itched to move his hair off of his forehead for some reason. Instead, she crossed her arms even tighter. She didn’t have a shirt to cling to so her fingers could keep busy (she had opted to wear only a sports bra and shorts), so she balled her hands into fists. 

Again, Nikita wasn’t paying that much attention, which led to the man surprising her once more. He finished his rep and got to his feet. She snapped back to reality at his movements. He almost extended his right hand out to her, but hesitated. Considering the new prosthetic and how it continued to twitch, he chose to shake with his left hand, “I’m Michael Bishop.”

Nikita smiled. Finally she had a name to go with his smirk. She extended her own hand, and shook his. She knew the fake identity Ryan and Birkhoff had provided her for her deep cover, yet it didn’t seem right to lie to Michael. She bit that feeling down as far as she could. She didn’t understand it, she didn’t appreciate it, and she didn’t want to deal with it. Her confusion over Ryan must have screwed with her emotions more than she had thought. That was probably why Michael had such an affect on her. She swallowed, “Nikita King,”

“Nice to almost injure you,” Michael let go of her hand, yet drifted closer to her while they laughed. His eyes roamed over her, and for a second Nikita wanted to put her guard on red alert. However, he wasn’t regarding her in a predatory way. She may have been glistening with sweat, barely clothed, and had a mussed ponytail, but he wasn’t focused on that. He was just looking at her- at Nikita. After so many sweetheart missions, it was refreshing to have a man acknowledge that she was more than just a body. She drifted closer to him as well. He smiled brilliantly, “I haven’t seen you around here before. You just move in?”

“Very astute. I just moved from New York,” At least Nikita could be honest with Michael there. Although she could’ve simply told him she just moved into the building, she wanted to tell him the truth. It would’ve made all the other lies easier, if she was also as truthful as possible. The best lies were rooted in truth. And to keep herself and others safe from Division and everyone else, the best lies were her best friends. 

“So you need someone to show you around Chicago,” That smirk of Michael’s was back. Some might have thought it was annoying, but Nikita found it endearing. The grin lightened his green eyes and highlighted a fun side of him. She liked fun. It was far better than the drab seriousness her job forced their agents into. 

“Are you offering?” Nikita meant it as a dare. She would’ve enjoyed having Michael show her around the city. The agent side of her knew a local giving her a tour of the city was a spectacular tactic. She’d receive the preferred directions and information. The human side of her, however, simply wanted to spend more time with Michael. If her experience with Ryan taught her anything, it was that she needed a friend to keep her steady. 

“Are you accepting?” Michael appeared all too excited by the idea of spending more time with her. His eyes were alight and his smile was wide. But he attempted to keep his feelings underwraps. He didn’t want to seem too eager. Nikita thought it was cute. 

Instead of actually accepting his offer, though, she teased him. Nikita pretended to think things over, and began to walk away. Michael helplessly followed after. She bit her lip so she wouldn’t giggle, “I don’t know. You seem too cocky for me.”

“I’m really just trying to make up for my stumble earlier,” Sheepishly, Michael admitted. He did appear to continue to be apologetic for almost making her fall. It made Nikita stop in her tracks. She turned back to him, smiling softly. He drifted towards her, returning the affection. She felt butterflies in her stomach again, and wondered for a brief moment if that really was a brilliant idea. At another glance of his sparkling green eyes, she risked it all. 

“Well in that case, sure. You can be my official tour guide.”


	92. Chapter 92

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set after the events of 3x02 "Innocence". Inspired by a line in the movie Stick It comparing Navy Seals and Gymnastics.

Alex and Nikita hung around ops after their debriefing. They had kicked off their shoes, undone their hair, and threw down their blazers; they weren’t in a hurry to get home. Their latest mission was a success, and they wanted to revel in it a little longer. The women also just wanted a moment to talk. A lot of old memories had been brought to the surface, and they thought it would be better to discuss them together. It was comforting knowing how much they had grown and changed since they had first met. And it was amazing that they were together to celebrate their victories. Alex and Nikita were reflecting over all of that as they lounged in chairs, invading each other’s space. It was in opposition of how they interacted all those years ago. And it was proof of the power of their connection. The women would save each other time and time again. 

At some point, Sean entered ops after escaping from his Seal duties. He thought he should poke his head in before he went home for the night. Because of his Naval responsibilities, he wasn’t able to help with the latest mission. But maybe he could help with filing or something. He didn’t want to leave his Division team in the dark while he was with his Seal team. The first thing he noticed when he walked in was Alex and Nikita sitting alone and in excited conversation. The second was that they were in disheveled business wear. His curiosity piqued, “What kind of fun did I miss out on?”

The women turned to Sean with proud smiles. They didn’t move from their reclined positions, inviting him to pull a chair around and plop down in it. He drew closer to Alex, and placed his elbow on her armrest. Nudging at him, her smile brightened, “Oh you know. Saved the day. Reunited a kid with her family. The usual.”

Sean was impressed. He always was with their actions. The women were a powerful duo; he never wanted to cross them again. Although he was impressed, he wasn’t surprised. He had no doubt they would succeed. They were too stubborn to fail. Later, Sean would want the full story. But for the time being, he was more interested in Nikita stretching out a sore arm, “Got shown up in gymnastics by said kid.”

“Gymnastics? Seriously. It’s not that hard,” Sean rolled his hazel eyes and scoffed. The extent of his knowledge of the sport was that it involved a lot of tumbling. He didn’t understand how Nikita could’ve been sore. However, judging by the sharp jolt of the elbow Alex shot at him, he was definitely in the wrong. 

Narrowing her bright blue eyes, Alex berated Sean, “Look, don't be fooled by the leotards, Sean. The things elite gymnasts do make Navy Seals look like wusses. And they do them without a gun,”

Whereas Sean was offended by the jab, Nikita glanced at Alex in confusion. What she had said sounded familiar to her. The confusion was instantly cleared up when Alex made the phone signal with her hand, “Hey, Nikita. Can you tell Sean his cultural references are lacking?”

Nikita smirked and held out her own phone hand to a puzzled Sean, “Sean, Alex is on the phone. She says your cultural references are lacking.”

“Do you have any idea what’s happening?” Fortunately for Sean, Michael had walked into the room; he could turn to him for help. Michael just rolled his green eyes, and collapsed in a chair next to Nikita. She pulled his chair even closer to her. 

As his fianceé leaned against him, he could feel himself relaxing. He had been the one to deliver the reports and debriefs to Ryan. Nikita and Alex were still upset with him for his decision regarding Liza, so Michael became their middleman. He definitely felt like he was trapped in the middle of their two sides. Ryan was right in protecting Nikita, but wrong in targeting a tormented teenager. Michael was wound tight over the argument, but thankfully Nikita was there to settle him. He relaxed, flashing Sean an apologetic smile, “They’re quoting a movie.”

“You remember watching it with Nerd and ‘your recruit’?” Nikita glanced up at Michael with a teasing glint in her brown eyes. He should’ve known what he had said to Wade would’ve gotten back to her. He didn’t regret his words, though. Not when she was looking at him with the same adoration he felt. Alex rolled her eyes at the two, nudging Nikita’s foot to make her stop flirting. She nudged back. Sean glanced between everyone, his question still not completely answered. They ignored him. 

“Birkhoff told you what I said on the coms, huh,” Michael focused on the information leak instead of his memory. Of course he remembered spending time with Nikita, despite Birkhoff cutting in on their rare downtime from Division. 

Alex decided to resume the conversation. Nikita and Michael would have continued their heated looks if no one distracted them. She also wanted to keep torturing Sean for his gymnastics comment. He deserved to be confused for a little while longer, “Yeah, before he went to hide in his cave again.”

“He’s taking his breakup with Sonya hard,” Nikita expressed her concern for their friend. They had all noticed Birkhoff’s bitter attitude recently. They weren’t certain what had caused the breakup, and it wasn’t like he was going to tell them anyway. They did know, however, that they wanted Birkhoff to return to his cocky, self-assured self again.

“We should do something for him,” Alex concluded. Michael and Nikita nodded in agreement. They’d come up with some sort of plan to force Birkhoff to have fun with them. He was going to interact with his friends and he was going to like it.

On the other hand, Sean strived to return to the movie reference. Yes, he wanted to help Birkhoff, but he also wanted to know what the women were talking about earlier. He knew the instant they got off topic, it’d be harder and harder to circle back. He needed answers, “Later. I wanna know what movie makes fun of Seals.”

“An accurate one,” Immediately, Alex quipped. Although Nikita laughed and Micheal chuckled, Sean glared. She didn’t cower under it. If anything, she moved closer to him and grinned more self-satisfied than before.

“One of the greatest movies ever. You know. I choked out Kelly when she accused me of choking on a mission, just like that one scene,” While recalling a particular moment with her old partner, Nikita continued to dance around Sean’s question. Her fiancé had not known that story, and wanted to call her out on it. But Alex excitedly interrupted Michael. 

“No way. I did the same thing to Jaden,” Beaming, Alex nearly shouted at the coincidence. The fact that the same movie had inspired their actions caused the women to collapse in giggles. Their Division days really were eerily similar. 

Michael simply rolled his eyes and chuckled again. There wasn’t much he could say that they didn’t already know. Sean, however, started to give up on ever knowing what anyone was talking about. It was as though the women were punishing him for his snide comment about gymnastics. He had learned his lesson. He was ready to repent. Fortunately, Sean’s sorrow was only for a brief moment. Michael soon took pity on him, “It’s called  _ Stick It _ . It’s one of those rebel-girl teen movies. It’s actually pretty good.”

“So are you gonna show it to me, or am I supposed to picture it on my own?” Relieved to finally understand, Sean glanced expectantly at Alex. She had brought up the movie in the first place, the least she could do was watch it with him. If he was being honest, though, he wasn’t that interested in seeing the movie. But if it made Alex laugh and smile like that, it was worth it.

“Yeah. Come on,” Alex was quick to leap out of her chair and drag Sean along with her. She grabbed her things, dashing out of ops with a giggle. Sean laughed along with her, and hurried to catch up. 

Nikita and Michael watched the two, amused. Once they had left and were out of ear shot, Nikita smiled all too knowingly, “That was fast.”

“It’s ‘cause they’re idiots,” Michael replied without missing a beat. The couple laughed, shaking their heads. Eventually, he stood and tenderly pulled her to her feet. She drifted into him, her arms draping around his waist. Smiling, he settled his hands on the small of her back.

“Are we gonna watch a movie too? Or…” Nikita slowly walked backwards towards the door, Michael being gently tugged after her.

“Or?” He put a stop to their motions as he stumbled over her shoes and blazer thrown on the floor. He went to pick them up, but she kept him upright. There were much more important things than her belongings. 

“Well, I did just find out you’ve had my back this entire time. And you consider me yours,” Nikita’s smile illuminated her face. Michael’s own smile echoed the brightness. 

Their kiss was sweet and chaste. It was a declaration of love and a promise for more all in one. And, it earned them a shout from Ryan when he walked by ops, “Go home.”

“Dinner first,” Michael offered to Nikita. She gasped in excitement, hurriedly grabbing her things and rushing out. He continued to smile brightly, following her home. Things had changed a lot over the years, as Nikita and Alex had been discussing before Sean interrupted them. Yet the one constant was how strongly the team felt for one another. They were there to protect and care for each other, no matter their fights and disagreements- then and forever.


	93. Chapter 93

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set post-series. Inspired by Nikita's line in the pilot about Gary having foster kids, plural.

Nikita and Alex were stretched out on the couch, legs tangled, heads resting on one another, silently listening to music. They had been talking, but they soon fell into a comfortable silence. The two were content with just relaxing together for a while. They had some time to kill, and what better way to spend it than with each other. At some point, Nikita’s thoughts needed to be expressed out loud. She gently tugged at Alex’s light hair, getting her attention, “Hey. You’re the best sister I’ve ever had.”

“I’m the only sister you’ve ever had,” Alex tugged at Nikita’s dark hair in return. When Nikita’s expression changed, Alex bolted upright. She thought she would’ve accepted the truth with a shrug, instead she winced. That meant she was wrong. There was another sister. Alex shot to her feet, ignoring Nikita falling against the cushions. The revelation was huge. After so many years of friendship, she couldn’t believe she hadn’t known that. Why would’ve that been kept a secret from her. The other things that happened in Nikita’s childhood made sense to keep on the downlow. But a sister. That was too huge, “Wait. I’m not. You have a sister!”

“No, Alex…” Nikita shook her head. She pushed herself back into a sitting position, and tried to reach for Alex. Except she was already spiraling with ideas and theories. She needed to be stopped before it went too far. 

“Where is she? Who is she? Why have you never talked about her before?” Maybe it was a little too late for that. Alex was pacing back and forth in disbelief. Nikita had to get up and track her movements. She managed to make her stop, grabbing hold of her head so her blue eyes would connect with her brown. 

“Alex. I don’t have a sister. I just had a couple of foster siblings,” Nikita’s explanation calmed Alex. They both sat back down on the couch, absorbing the information. Alex chuckled to herself about how worked up she had gotten over nothing. She was just so in the dark about Nikita’s childhood that any information seemed like a revelation. She knew why she didn't talk about her past, but she still wanted to hear about it. They were close enough to be sisters, after all. Although Nikita continued to work through her past, she was reluctant to talk. It was mostly because she had never talked about it. Opening up was strange to her. She was working through it though, little by little. 

Despite knowing Nikita had foster siblings, Alex only had a vague definition about what that was. She thought it was the children of foster parents, like how step-siblings were the children of step-parents. However, based on what she had been told, she couldn’t imagine Gary as any kind of parent. Even to his own children, “Gary had biological kids?”

“No. They were other kids in the system,” Reclining, Nikita clarified. Alex appeared to still be confused as she turned to face her. Nikita sighed, “You have no idea how foster care works, do you?”

“Not in America, no,” Honestly, Alex wasn’t sure how it worked in Russia either. She only had snippets of ideas based on what others had told her. She should probably look more into it. Her new job did intersect with runaways and kids lost to the system. But a first hand account might have been substantially better. 

Taking a breath, Nikita gave a quick summary, “Kids end up in foster care mostly because their family can’t or won’t take care of them. I was told I was in the system ‘cause my mom died and I didn't have any other family. Most kids are only in foster care temporarily, before they’re placed in a permanent home or brought back to their family. My foster parents adopted me, so that home became my permanent one.”

“That’s how you got your last name ‘Mears’?” Alex was fairly certain Nikita had told her her foster parents adopted her. It was a long time ago, when they had first met. Nikita had tried to gain her trust, sharing snippets of her life so she could see they weren’t that different. Alex didn’t admit it at the time, but her strategy worked wonders. The reason she eventually opened up was because she knew she’d understand her. Most people she met either couldn’t or didn’t want to. Nikita was different. She cared for Alex when no one else did. She didn’t think she could ever thank her enough for that. 

“Yeah. I bounced around in different homes before I wound up with Gary. I was like six or seven- I don’t know, in first grade. My foster mom loved me instantly, and decided to adopt,” Nikita shrugged. She didn’t remember much about foster care before then. Not that it really mattered.

“I never understood how Gary became a foster parent. I mean, why take in kids if he was like that,” Alex boiled down the stories she knew into a simple word. It was simpler that way, and it circled around what none of them wanted to face in that moment. 

Nikita rubbed at her eyes, collapsing further into the cushions. Alex scooted closer to her, and made sure her knee brushed against her’s. Nikita flashed her a brief small grin, “I try not to think about it. Or how none of our case workers did anything. Or how social services kept dropping kids off. But I’m pretty sure it was my foster mom’s idea and Gary tagged along for the government checks.”

“Wait. You get paid to foster?” Alex’s surprise forced Nikita to chuckle. She laughed along, mostly to lighten the mood. They didn’t have to be weighed down by their past anymore. The women had each other and the rest of their family in their corner. No one was in it alone. 

“Not much. But enough to keep an alcoholic drunk,” Smirking, Nikita joked. She had said before that humor worked as a coping mechanism better than anything else. If she couldn’t laugh at some of the things she experienced, then how was she ever going to get out to the darkness. Michael had suggested they all go to therapy, but after Amanda Nikita was hesitant. Besides, who could they go to and discuss Division and the Shop with. Some of those facts still remained top secret. 

“Was your foster mom abused by Gary too?” Despite the quip, Alex returned to serious. She could tell Nikita didn’t appreciate it. But she had to know more. Alex just wanted to understand Nikita as she had done for her all those years ago. It was only fair that she let others help her. Alex was satisfied when Nikita eventually nodded. That was all she needed to move forward, “So what was your last name before they adopted you?”

“I don’t really remember. I think it was like Jones or something. Child services gave it to me so,” Nikita didn’t attempt to think too hard about it. She was fine not remembering having shaky roots as she was moved from home to home. 

“Your mom didn’t name you?” Alex knew Nikita’s father was never in the picture, but at least her mother was. Her own mother had told her that she had picked ‘Alexandra’ as a name long before she was born. Nikita’s mother could have done the same, even if she left her.

Confused, Nikita thought Alex knew what had happened to her mother. Or what she was told had happened to her mother, “She died when I was born.”

“So who named you ‘Nikita’?” If social services had given her her last name, did they also give her her first. Alex saw that Nikita had the same thought. But she shook it off. 

“Look, Alex. There’s a lot of things about my childhood that I don’t know. And I really don’t wanna know,” Frustrated, Nikita huffed. She was frequently lied to by her foster parents and by Division. She didn’t know what was true or what wasn’t in regards to her past. Not thinking about it was for the best. She could focus on the present and the future. Those things she could control. 

Alex nodded in agreement. There were a lot of things she still didn’t know about her parents or her childhood also. She had the opportunity to ask her mother, but she didn’t think she would get a straight answer. Everything would be simpler, and she would be more relaxed, if she only concentrated on what was happening in the moment. Like how Nikita had said she was the best, “Okay. So what were your foster siblings like?”

“Some were brats, some were fun to hang out with. None were really there for long. It was just temporary before they were reunited with their families. I think the longest was about two years. She was pretty cool. You would’ve liked her,” Nikita recollected for a moment. She didn’t have that many foster siblings, but only one of them stuck out in her mind. They had banded together against Gary while she was there. It was great having someone be there for her. It made those two years not so bad. 

“But I’m still the better sister,” Alex gently kicked at Nikita. She gave her a huge grin that drew one out of her. Nikita closed the gap between them, wrapping Alex in a hug.

“Oh absolutely,” The women’s embrace was ruined by a pinch. Alex yanked away from Nikita, scowling and rubbing her sore arm. Nikita shrugged and laughed. After she had retaliated, Alex laughed as well. The two dissolved into laughing and fake fighting. They couldn’t stay serious or emotional for long. They had fought so hard to get to a place of light and happiness. They were going to enjoy it as much as possible. 

“Good. ‘Cause you’re my best sister too,” Alex pushed Nikita off of the couch. Ignoring the glare, she grinned down at her smugly. 

Nikita quickly pulled Alex down to her level. She shrieked, yet it soon turned to giggles as they continued to fool around. They weren’t as careful of the furniture as they should have been, but there hadn’t been an injury yet, “I better be. You don’t have another one.”

“Hey, you guys ready?” Walking into the living room, Michael called for the women’s attention. He wasn’t surprised by their antics, he was able to shrug them off. Besides, they had to meet Birkhoff, Sonya, and Sam at the movies. He didn’t want to waste time figuring those two out. Nikita was the first to her feet, shoving Alex back down again while she made her way to Michael. Alex chased after her. Who needed answers about the past or stories about old families. They had a new family to focus on and love and care for. It wasn’t perfect, but it was the best without a doubt.


	94. Chapter 94

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set sometime in season 1. Inspired by how much I love Ryan and Nikita's friendship.

“Ryan Fletcher,” Nikita popped her face in front of Ryan’s, startling him. He hadn’t seen her approach him while he was tying his sneaker on the bench. He removed an earbud from his ear, and studied her over. She was also in running gear. But judging by her lack of heavy breaths, she hadn’t been running on the park trail as long as he had. He had the suspicion that she had followed him, and scared him on purpose. 

“Do you have anything else to do besides bother me?” Finishing tying his shoe, Ryan stood and crossed his arms. Nikita beamed at him, removing one of her own earbuds as well. She seemed generally surprised to see him. Maybe she hadn’t followed him. 

It took her a moment to finalize an answer. That worried Ryan. He hadn’t known Nikita long. Yet he did know that her thinking was dangerous. She was always one word away from starting another deadly endeavor. If he wasn’t so curious, he would’ve never gotten involved with her. He had only himself to blame, “Nope.”

“Then what is it? Another mission? Some intel you need?” Ryan collapsed on the bench, resigned to his fate. While he sighed, Nikita smirked. She really was enjoying torturing him. 

“Why do you think I only want you for something?” Nikita sat close to him. She sprawled out, her shoulder brushing his. It was probably the fact that they had faced death together that made her so comfortable with him. She was completely alright lounging against him and teasing him. He was alright with it too. There was something about her that just seemed so real. There was no one else like her, and that was refreshing. It made him draw to her. 

“‘Cause you do,” Ryan nudged her gently. It was his turn to smirk. Nikita didn’t sigh, however, she glared. He was all too aware that if he wasn’t on her team, that glare would have killed him.

“O thee of little faith. I actually just wanna sit and chat,” Digging her elbow into his ribs, Nikita retaliated. Ryan rubbed at his sore side, and rolled his bright blue eyes. He seriously doubted her. She always seemed to have an agenda. Not that he blamed her. Taking down a black ops unit of the government was no joke, “What? A girl can’t have friends while trying to destroy the world?”

Ryan chuckled. Nikita sure was full of surprises. She laughed along with him. The sound was bright and cheerful, and in that moment he realized he had never really seen her happy. Sure she was sarcastic, stubborn, and deadly. But her smile was never that carefree. The seriousness of just what they were doing hit Ryan then. There were going to be rare moments of joy and relaxation. But it was going to be worth it. Taking out evil in the world will be worth all of it. Besides, they could always force themselves to see some humor, “Trying to pin you down is impossible.”

“Thank you,” Nikita said it like it was something to be proud of. In her line of work it was. It made her a dangerous enemy. 

“What do you want to talk about then?” Ryan gave in. He copied her lounged position on the bench, prepared to be there for a while. He could finish his run later; he had plenty of time before he went to work. He could take a moment to relax with his new partner in crime. 

“How are you doing?” Nikita basically sang. She also batted her brown eyes at him to sell her point. Laughing at the antics, Ryan swatted at her. Even with humor she could one up him.

“In general, or with you?” He teased easily. 

She smiled suggestively, “Well if you wanna make it about me.”

The two laughed once more. Ryan was enjoying talking to Nikita, and not about Division. They really were quickly becoming friends. He didn’t have that many at the agency. Most thought his constant research and conspiracy digging was insane. She relied on it. Yet it became apparent that wasn’t all she wanted from him. She appeared to care. Her heart was apparently as great as her ass kicking abilities. Ryan can only aspire to be like her, “My life has not known peace since I met you.”

“Good. That’s a blessing. That means we’re getting shit done,” Nikita celebrated the victories they had had together. There weren't many victories, but they were great ones. They made a solid team, despite some of the differences they had. They both had a drive and determination to see things through. 

“We kinda are,” Nudging her again, Ryan celebrated too. The two of them, along with the mole Nikita had, were actually going to save the world. They had already done so before.

Nikita took up more space on the bench, shoving him into the corner. He tried to push her off of him, but she had truly dominated the area. Ryan should’ve expected as much, “That’s the spirit.”

“I feel like if I’m going to be devoting my life to you, I’ll need to know more about you,” Finally getting Nikita back across the bench, Ryan suggested.

“So now you wanna talk,” Nikita threw a wink at him. It could’ve been read as flirtatious, yet that shiteating grin was anything but. She was going to tease him to death.

But Ryan could taunt her right back, give her a taste of her own medicine, “So now you don’t want to.”

“Alright. You’re on. Twenty questions. We both ask and answer,” Nikita accepted Ryan’s dare. He was right about getting to know one another. It would build trust, and deepen their rapidly growing friendship. Both were important for being partners and teammates. Their bond would strengthen, and they could become even more unstoppable. 

“How ‘bout ten? Keep things short and simple,” Checking the time on his watch, Ryan amended. He didn’t have all the time in the world, just enough to possibly tease Nikita a little longer. 

“Deal,” She stuck out her hand for them to shake on. The two rapid fired questions and answers. They laughed, smirked, and rolled their eyes at various statements. Once more, Ryan was having fun with Nikita. He could see them remaining friends after that mission and war of theirs was over. Then again, how could one not stay close to someone they took down a black ops group with. That bonded them for life. The two were going to be connected forever, whether they liked it or not. 

Eventually, something on the park trail caught Nikita’s attention. She got to her feet, tightening her ponytail, “As much fun as this has been Ryan Fletcher, I gotta go.”

“Guess I’ll see you around then,” Ryan twisted to watch her start to jog towards a young woman nearing them.

She turned around and gave him a mock salute, “Bet your ass you will.”

Ryan rolled his blue eyes for the upteenth time. He soon got off of the bench as well. He figured he’d continue his run, or at least just sprint to his car. As he began to leave, he heard the young woman say, “I swear this is just your way of making me run more.”

“Shut up and tell me what’s up,” Nikita quipped while they continued out of Ryan’s earshot. He couldn’t help but laugh. He was glad there was someone else drawn into the fight by her. He wasn’t alone. He was far from it.


	95. Chapter 95

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An AU set sometime in season 2. Inspired by comments on Fanfiction about Sean and Nikita having the same dad, and some extended family drama.

“Hey, Alex. Come here for a second,” Michael called the young woman over, keeping his eyes on Nikita and Sean across the room. They were going over mission plans together, and were laughing and talking about something. Birkhoff seemed to be chiming in every so often from his computer, but it was mostly the two in deep conversation. That wasn’t why Michael wanted Alex’s attention. He was glad they were bonding. Sean’s start on their team had been a rocky one. It was great that he had found a way to settle into the team dynamics. The reason Michael asked for Alex, however, was because he noticed something odd, “Do you think Sean and Nikita look alike?”

Alex shot Michael a confused look. She didn’t think she had heard him right at first. But he appeared to be serious about his question. Sighing, she studied Sean and Nikita. One of them had said something funny, and they both collapsed in giggles. Alex quickly began to see what Michael was talking about, “Huh. They laugh the same. And smile the same.”

“They also have the same hair,” Michael continued. He hadn’t really picked up on any of that before. It wasn’t until they were standing next to each other that those similarities popped out. He thought he was seeing things at first, that he was tired and reading too much into it. Yet Alex noticed the same things he had. It was a bit strange, and very confusing. Before he could think over it more, Sean and Nikita caught him and Alex staring.

“Whatcha two lookin’ at?” Nikita raised an eyebrow and smirked knowingly. Sean didn’t have the exact same expression on his face, but it was eerily similar. Alex shot Michael another confused glance.

“Whatcha two talkin’ ‘bout?” Deciding to deflect, Michael neared the pair. Alex followed after him, trying to hide her confusion. Since Michael had pointed it out, she couldn’t stop seeing similarities between Sean and Nikita. There weren’t that many, and some were small. But they still existed. And it still confused her. She knew of partners becoming similar in action and thought, yet those two weren’t partners. Besides, the similarities were more physical than anything else. She was pretty sure that was what puzzled her the most. She couldn’t comprehend how they could look alike.

“Oh just that we’re a team made up of daddy issues,” Shrugging, Nikita shared the fact like it was common. Maybe for them it was. No normal person went into their line of work.

However, Nikita wasn’t going to elaborate her point. She left that up to Sean. He rolled his eyes and retold the story, “When my dad died a couple years ago, my sisters and I found letters he had kept. They were from his translator when he was overseas on assignment right before my twin sisters were born. Apparently they had an affair, and she got pregnant. The fucked up thing about it is that my dad preached family values and moral compasses. But he pulled that shit.”

“No what’s fucked up is that he tried to pay the woman off,” Nikita added. She was interested in what Sean had told her. Mostly because she liked knowing her family wasn’t the only fucked up one. There was peace in realizing others had shitty fathers. They could form a support group. 

“Oh yeah. My dad got leave when my sisters were born, and that’s when he dumped the woman. I guess holding his daughters made him realize his priorities,” Despite the ease in which he shared, Sean was livid. Ever since he had discovered his father’s secret he had been pissed. He didn’t understand the thought processes his dad went through to justify cheating on his pregnant wife while overseas, and then become a hypocrite while raising his kids. Sean knew without a doubt, he would never be like that. 

“He should’ve realized that way before then,” Michael bitterly muttered. He hated people like that in the service. Some would take any excuse to separate themselves from their families. It wasn’t right. Nikita read his thoughts, and gently took hold of his hand. He gave her a soft thankful grin. 

“Yeah but the woman took the money he gave her to pay her way to the States. She was gonna give the baby a way better life than she had. That meant without its father. She’s awesome,” Nikita concluded what she knew of the story. She squeezed Michael’s hand, reassuring him. Not all mother and child stories had to be tragic ones; it was difficult to see that sometimes. There were happy endings to fight for, they were possible. 

Thoughts circling back to what she had been contemplating earlier, Alex asked Sean for more information. She didn’t know exactly what she was fishing for. But an investigation was still worth pursuing, “Where was your dad stationed?”

“We don’t know. It was ‘need to know’. But guessing from the woman’s name, I wanna say Vietnam,” Sean considered. He didn’t really care where his dad was when he committed his infidelity. All that mattered was that he had done it. 

Neither Sean nor Nikita noticed Michael and Alex glancing awkwardly their way. Sean was mulling over his bitter feelings, and Nikita got distracted by the plans in front of her. Clearing his throat, Michael wondered, “You know. Discovering family members we didn’t know existed or were alive, is kinda our specialty. Did you ever try to track the woman and your half-sibling down?”

“Yeah. But the woman died of medical complications, and we couldn’t find anything ‘bout the baby. It’s weird. There’s no birth or death certificate,” Although the deadend didn’t make sense, Sean wasn’t put off by it. Unlike his sisters, he wasn’t hopeful about their search. They weren’t lucky enough to have all of their questions answered. 

“Maybe Oversight erased all the evidence so there wouldn’t be a scandal attached to your mom’s name,” Alex suggested. She figured that was something Madeline or Oversight would have done. They erased Division recruits' birth certificates, anyway. 

“Or less conspiratorial, the baby was adopted and the birth certificate was changed. Nerd, you think you can have Shadownet run all that,” Snapping for Birkhoff’s attention, Nikita became the voice of reason. Some adoptions led to a child’s birth certificate being changed to match their new last name and family. It made things easier for other legal matters down the line. 

However, Birkhoff didn’t know what was going on. He had been too focused on his computer and had tuned the other’s out, “What?”

“Let me tell him what’s up and get the info from my sisters,” Taking out his cell, Sean went to catch the nerd up on their conversation. While they were talking, Michael and Alex moved closer to Nikita; they wanted to keep her from getting distracted by the plans again. Their expressions certainly worked. She eyed them suspiciously.

“Hey, Nikita. What was your mom’s name on your birth certificate?” Michael was the first to ask. To Nikita it was an out of the blue question. To him and Alex, not so much.

“You mean the fake one we found in the black box. Why?” Still suspicious, Nikita slowly answered. She didn’t like the way they were glancing at her. They were thinking something that she couldn’t quite grasp. If she was being honest with herself, it creeped her out. 

“Well it couldn’t have been all fake. The best lies have some truths. I mean, your birthday was right on it,” Michael ignored Nikita’s second sentence. That answer would hopefully come later.

“It also said I was born in Vietnam. That can’t be true if I was put in American foster care,” Moving away from the two, Nikita refuted. That fake birth certificate in the black box had messed with her head for a while, and she didn’t want to revisit it. Alex and Michael weren't going to give up that easily, however.

They followed after her. The three were inching closer to Sean and Birkhoff, and were able to hear parts of their conversation. Alex raised her voice to talk over them, “Your mom could’ve immigrated from there. She could’ve wanted a better life for you.”

“Why do you want to know?” Her phrasing made Nikita stop cold in her tracks. She had a sinking suspicion of what Alex and Michael were thinking, “What are you two getting at?”

Before either could answer, Sean received a text from one of his sisters. He needed the information to be accurate, so he double checked with them. The one who had replied was home with the paperwork they had already found. He had a solid building block of finding his half-sibling. After everything about Oversight and Division, he would love to have another sibling to ground him in the real world. He knew his sisters would’ve loved that as well, “Here we go Birkhoff. The woman’s name was Anh Pham. And she died January 23, 1983.”

“Oh you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” Nikita nearly screamed. Whereas Sean was startled by the outburst, Michael and Alex had expected it. Even Birkhoff recognized the name and date, and glanced around surprised. Michael gave Nikita a moment to collect her thoughts, and explained the situation to Sean; Anh Pham had been listed as Nikita’s birth mother, and that date was her birthday. Sean tried to say it could’ve been a coincidence, yet Alex shook her head. She mentioned the physical similarities she spotted between the pair. It was very possible that they were half-siblings.

Nikita and Sean were insistent about ordering a DNA test. Neither wanted to deal with that fact before they had undeniable proof that it was true. They had to wait some time for the results, which led to them forgetting about it. In their defense, their war against Division had become increasingly more difficult. They were distracted and preoccupied with much more important things. It wasn’t until after Percy was killed that the two remembered the test. They harassed Birkhoff for the results, which he had no problem getting for them. Sure enough, Sean and Nikita had the same father.

Sean was beside himself. He immediately started thinking about the different times he had tried to kill his newly established half-sister. He also thought about the things she was forced to do under his mother’s Division. He felt himself become panicked and angry. If it weren’t for his father’s selfishness, maybe she could’ve had a normal life like he had. Nikita was thinking the same thing. She was also thinking about all the family that she had. She was forced to grow up with Gary and without a loving home. But they had always been there, living their life happily without her. 

The siblings didn’t talk to each other about it. They didn’t know how. They turned their other teammates instead. Eventually, it was suggested that the two sit down and discuss things. Especially with Sean’s sisters- with their sisters. Nikita and Sean were reluctant to do so, but were pressured into it anyway. Luckily, all their fears were pushed aside at their sisters' excitement. They were so happy to have another sister, that everything else didn’t seem to matter. Sure, there were still things to work through. But it could wait. A missing piece of their family’s complicated puzzle was filled. They should focus on the happiness of that.


	96. Chapter 96

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set post-series. Inspired by what Birkhoff had said about his estranged family.

It was going to be a long night. Birkhoff had that feeling settling in his gut from the moment he mentioned the idea. He didn’t know what he was thinking. He could blame Sonya, but that wouldn’t have been fair. Besides, she had only made the suggestion; he was the one to follow through. The thing was, it was going so well between himself and his dad. He almost forgot what had happened. And he definitely forgot what had caused that to happen. When he called his estranged family and told them of the dinner plans, however, it all came flooding back. Their reunion dinner was going to be a long night. 

Birkhoff brought Sonya with him to his dad’s house. His brother and sister were bringing their spouses and kids, he could bring his girlfriend. He didn’t care if she knew his family or not, though. Sonya was just as close with everybody in his saving the world family, it didn’t matter if she bonded with his biological family. Hell, he was only bonding with his biological family because it was the right thing to do; the world was saved, hurt feelings were apologized for, they could live on in peace. He asked her to join him so she could live on in peace as well, and so he could have moral support.

Walking into his childhood home instantly brought Birkhoff back in time. Whether those memories resurfacing were good or bad, he couldn’t tell yet. He did remember being left alone in the house a lot. His siblings were in college when he was little, and his parents had well established jobs. Birkhoff practically grew up by himself. But he had his pets, and his computers. He made it work, made his own life work. Sonya squeezing his hand reminded him enough of that. As he entered the living room, he realized he was the last to arrive. The rest of his family sat and waited for him. Birkhoff couldn’t help the anxious chuckle that erupted out of him.

His dad was the first to stand and give him a hug. They had been talking frequently over the months since he had rescued him. They were a lot closer than they ever were when Birkhoff was growing up. It was great to have been building a relationship with his father. He certainly learned where he got his superiority complex when it came to hacking (at least, that was what Sonya had said). There had been some missteps, but it appeared as though they were reaching a secure place in their relationship. Ronald had apologized for his faults as a father, and Birkhoff apologized for faking his death. The two still needed to talk more of their past, but they were moving forward together. That was what was important.

Lyle and Lily were more hesitant in embracing their brother. The two continued to be confused over the situation. They were only given a couple of months to process their brother coming back from the dead and their father returning after being replaced with a double. Being at a family dinner with the two was surreal. Birkhoff’s brother didn’t take long to get over his hesitation. He focused on the fact that he was there, and not all the other weird circumstances. Birkhoff was relieved some of the awkwardness was abated. Despite the age difference, the boys had a strong brotherly bond. They used to have fun together playing videogames and torturing their sister.

After a moment, Lily seemed to have talked herself into hugging Birkhoff as well. She wanted more of an explanation than the one she was given. They needed to not treat the situation normally. It was stranger and weirder than anything else. On the other hand, she was happy to have her youngest brother back. She had always cared for him deeply. When they finally separated, Birkhoff was passed around to the rest of the family for more embraces. His siblings-in-law had known him before he faked his death, and so had his nieces and nephews (though they were young kids then). Their hugs were just as powerful as Lyle’s, Lily’s, and Ronald’s.

Sonya enjoyed staying on the sidelines during the moment. The dinner was for Birkhoff, she was only there to provide support as needed. And he didn’t need it then. He was content reconnecting with everybody. It helped that they were ignoring some of the bigger problems. They could leave those for the phone conversations they had been having. In person, they were focusing on better things. Birkhoff eventually very proudly introduced Sonya, mentioning more of their tech business together than their hacking partnership. She went along with it, knowing he wanted to stray away from talking about anything illegal, Division, or the Shop. His family welcomed her. They were simply happy that Birkhoff had found happiness while he was away.

Things were going about as well as expected until midway through dinner. There had been some passive aggressiveness before, but it soon grew exponentially. It started with the mention of Birkhoff’s mother. It was an innocent point of topic (Lily thought she would’ve loved Sonya), yet their father made an off handed comment about the lack of Birkhoff at her funeral. That was when the arguments started, and the nieces and nephews excused themselves. Everyone had a point to make, or an excuse to shout. No one was willing to see another person’s side of the story, they were all too stubborn. And hurt. Too much had happened to the family, from runaways and loss, to being replaced by a stranger and no one noticing.

Throughout the arguing, Birkhoff was repeatedly called ‘Lionel’. He didn’t react well to it. His name was Seymour Birkhoff, and he wanted to remain that way. Sonya supported him, providing backup when needed. But they were unmatched and overwhelmed. The family dinner dissolved into an airing of grievances that had no end in sight. Everything was fair game, and hurt feelings were the weapons. Maybe they should’ve discussed things before meeting up. There were too many things to ignore and push under the rug. They should’ve shared and talked healthily, instead they were berating. For Birkhoff, that just seemed all too familiar for the Peller household. 

No one noticed Sonya taking out her cellphone at some point, and sending a quick text. But everyone heard Birkhoff’s phone chime with a message fifteen minutes later. He was grateful for the distraction, and checked it instantly. What he read confused the hell out of him. Of course it was sent from Nikita, “Nerd, get the door.”

Quickly, he excused himself from the table. Birkhoff had a feeling he knew what she meant. So, he wasn’t surprised to see his team waiting for him on the front porch. He was curious how they had gotten there, however. He never told them about the dinner, “What are you doing here?”

“It’s family dinner,” Was Nikita’s explanation. She brushed past him to enter, shedding her coat and aiming to walk straight to the dining room. Birkhoff had no power to stop her. 

Luckily, Michael was able to get her to slow down and wait for him to explain, “Sonya told us what was up last week. So we came down today, and waited for a text if you ever needed backup.”

“I am the expert on reuniting with dead relatives after all,” Alex added as emphasis. Birkhoff glanced between the three bewildered. But soon he laughed. He was stupid for not bringing the rest of his family along. Only they could understand what they had all been through. And only they could make any situation better with their playful teases and unwavering support. Sonya had joined them in the entryway, waiting to usher them to the dining room. Birkhoff gave her a grateful kiss. She really had been his rock that night, in more ways than one. Shaking his head yet smiling, Birkhoff brought his team family to meet his biological family. It was still going to be a long night, but he’d be able to handle it from then on.


	97. Chapter 97

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set sometime in season 1. I don't know what this is. I think all the caffeine I consumed possessed me.

Michael and Nikita knew better. They weren’t supposed to be seen, to be touching and holding each other like that. But they couldn’t help it. The mission was at a gala, how were they not supposed to cross the dance floor. How were they not supposed to succumb to the music and the tension in the air. Neither knew who started it. It was probably her- wherever she led he always seemed to follow. But they were dancing regardless. The music was slow, and their bodies were close; so close they shared breath. She wanted to rest her head on his shoulder, and he wanted to wrap her tightly in his arms. Yet their eyes were locked on one another’s, never letting go. 

They were playing with fire. Both were aware, but both didn’t care. It was dangerous, it was tantalizing. They were toeing the line, and if they crossed it they were going to burn. The two were burning already, however, so what did it matter. They were always destined to suffer and struggle. Air was always hard to breathe, life was always hard to cling to. Crashing, drowning, and torture was carved in their stones. There was no escape; there was no relief. The two simply had to grin and bear it. Fortunately, they liked the fire that clipped at their heels. It made them feel alive.

Chatter buzzed in Michael’s ear. He ignored it. The coms was distant to him anyway. With Nikita in his arms, everything was distant. She felt as though she had to go. She was still hunted, she had to leave. But Nikita felt safe in his hold. Nothing could happen to her while she was dancing with him. He would protect her, like he always had. She could defend for herself, and could save herself. There wasn’t that much of a need to worry. However, there was something special about not having to think about the danger she had to keep herself from. He was there to support and care for her. 

Although they had been participating in a particular dance for years, it wasn’t as real as it was during that dance. The fire could’ve been ignored or fanned away in the past, but there it was the strongest it had ever been. And they were only adding fuel. They were tired of ignoring how things were between them. They wanted to crash, drown, and torture. It was how they felt alive, free, powerful. Risk flowed through their veins, heightening their senses. Their eyes were hungry and their bodies singed at the nearness of one another. They experienced everything almost as one. That was what made them suffer the most. They were meant to be one, but the world they were in refused. The frustration of that seemed to increase the fire.

For once, Nikita gave Michael the lead. She knew he wouldn’t pull her astray. He’d keep her right there, safe and sound. Yet he did have to move her away from the center of the dance floor, away from the spotlight. She loved the attention; she loved displaying her confidence and watching her enemies squirm in fear. He preferred the shadows. There was security in working behind the scenes. There was also power to protect. Somehow the two worked well with those differences. The push and pull was harmonious. They covered both sides of the battlefield, and conquered all before them.

Despite their tormenting attraction, the two didn’t mean for the dance to happen; they were just drawn to one another like moths to a flame. She had been on her own for so long, she had forgotten what the care of someone else was like. He had forced himself away for so long, he had forgotten what the affection of someone else was like. Maybe that was why they bantered, fought. Their tongues wouldn’t yield to the magnetic pull of their bodies. Their brains wouldn’t succumb to their hearts either. There had been too much hurt from others and from one another. The hurt needed to be healed; it needed to be guarded against in case it happened again. Because it always happened again. So they fought each other and the pull. It was what they were used to.

Nikita couldn’t help herself. She drew ever so closer to him, feeling even more of him. She teased and bit, brown eyes alight. Michael allowed himself to play along. His trademark smirk sparkled his green eyes, and gave ease to his words. Her backless dress called to him, forcing his fingers to trail across her bare bronzed skin. She shivered at the contact. She needed more of him. Slyly, she slipped her hand under his tuxedo jacket. She clung to the starch fabric of his dress shirt, yanking him to her. Their lips nearly brushed, and she grinned in satisfaction. 

Their proximity helped change things. Trust was built and feelings were secured. There was no more denying. They weren’t perfect, but they were together. To them, that was important. Everything else would simply fall into place as long as they pursued it as a team. They were strong and capable separate, yet together they were unparalleled. No one could touch them. They were on top of the world. Nevertheless, what went up had to come down; there was a constant rising and falling. They’d do it as one, though. They’d save each other from rock bottom and climb all over again. The fire wouldn’t consume them, it would strengthen them. They would be forged by the flames and emerge more alive and powerful than they were before.

Michael and Nikita stumbled and tripped during their dance, but their hands held tightly to the other. They supported and held. They were there forever. She took over the lead, shoving him to a hidden corner. He made certain they actually were secure. She was rash enough to initiate a plan, but he was cautious enough to endure that it was flawless. His back hit the wall, yet only for a brief second. He spun her to the pulse of the music, thus switching their positions. His body protectively covered her’s from prying eyes. He could blend in the crowd, but she drew glances everywhere she went. If they were going to fall, he had the allowance to be caught. 

Everything was tortuous yet beautiful. It was a spark in the middle of the night. The spark meant danger was on the horizon. However, it illuminated the darkness in such wondrous ways. There was a reason stargazing existed. The light captivated, encouraging stories of adventures and romance. Yet there was always a hidden danger in stars. They could explode and destroy. The danger could be rationalized as a distant thing, but the threat was constant. The sun was a star, after all. The fire, warmth, and light was due to diminish one day. And once it did, all life would cease. It was a captivating danger, life and death wrapped together as one.

Again, Michael ignored the chatter in his ear. He had her backed against the wall, his hands splayed on her waist. Nikita yanked on the lapels of his jacket, but didn’t smear her lips against his- not yet. She wanted to continue playing with him. The torture was apart of the fun. She slid her thigh over his, rocking her hips into him. He gasped slightly and gripped her tighter. Finally, she surrendered to the fall. They kissed passionately, lovingly, and thoroughly. The world stopped spinning during the affection. Nothing existed save the press of their lips and the roam of their hands.

Fire was powerful because of its dichotomy; it gave life as well as death. That was why the two loved to burn. They had power over the world. Creatures evil and pure bowed down to them. They were gods of their domain. The two had their allies that fortified them and gave them the drive to break the barriers. They also had enemies that strived to tear them apart, to divide and conquer. However, they were too strong. Their magnetism could never be severed. They were going to be together, despite all of the odds against them.

When the coms became too much, Michael was transported back to reality. The mission and saving the world took precedent once more. They were at the gala for a reason; they couldn’t forget that. There would be time for kissing and passion and love later. For the moment, they had to defeat the evil. He reluctantly let her out of his grasp, whispering against her full parted lips, “Go. Save the world.”

“You’ll be here when I get back,” Nikita whispered in return. It was a mixture of a plea and a demand. The world was only worth saving if the ones she cared for and loved were there with her. What was the purpose of finally reaching home, if those that made it a home weren’t there waiting for her. His agreeing nod spurred her into action. She took off sprinting to rendezvous with Alex and save the target of a Division hit. He stared after her, gifting her the headstart. When it was sufficient enough, he gave chase. She was running and he was following. A dance and a pull to the fire they were all too familiar with. Yet they wouldn’t have it any other way.


	98. Chapter 98

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set sometime in season 2. Inspired by this lovely hurricane season.

The storm was terrible. Rain poured, wind howled, and waves surged. Lightning had struck all around them, knocking out the power. They had generators to fill the beach house with light. But judging by the sound of the thunder, the storm wasn’t going to disperse anytime soon. They needed to conserve what they had, so the generators only powered the computers. That way, they could be aware of any break in the news or in a mission. Fortunately, they had plenty of candles to ignite, flashlights with extra batteries to illuminate, and even a fireplace to keep them warm (also fortunately, they didn’t have any food in the refrigerator to worry about). They would be alright for a while. 

Well, mostly alright. Michael anxiously paced in front of the window, watching for any approaching car. Nikita had volunteered to be the one to get their online food order when the storm wasn’t as perilous. They couldn’t really get delivery to the safehouse and they were out of food, so it was their only option. All too aware of Nikita’s tendency to speed, Michael worried about her safety as the storm swelled. The longer she took to get back, the more anxious he became. Movement from the couch caught his eye, and he turned to see Alex slipping off the cushion. Her phone was in her hand, and she appeared to be throwing a fit as she slumped on the floor. His confusion pushed away his worry for a moment, “What the hell?”

“I’m hungry. What’s taking Nikita so long?” Alex whined loudly. Her stomach growling emphasized her point. Michael rolled his green eyes, moving to heft her up off of the floor. Birkhoff was of no help. He remained reclined on the couch, agreeing vehemently with Alex. They were all too busy griping and worrying to notice Nikita’s car swing into the driveway. Thunder covered her trek to the house, and her shrieks at the freezing rain. 

It wasn’t until she stumbled through the door with arms full of food that they realized she was there. Michael was the first to reach her, taking the food from her hands. Alex grabbed the drinks. Birkhoff just propped himself up on his elbows and eyed her soaking frame over, “Have you ever heard of an umbrella?”

“Did you even fucking notice the wind outside?” Nikita bit back, frustrated. She had an umbrella, but that only protected the top of her. Wind pushed the rain all around her, soaking her back, front, and sides as she ran in and out of the restaurant. She was just glad to be back home, despite the fact that the power had gone out while she was gone. Oh well, it at least gave her the chance to warm up by the fire. 

“So what? You actually drove slow because of the storm?” Alex tried to lighten her mood with a tease. She and Michael began to unpack the food at the table. The smell drew Birkhoff over, yet he didn’t make a move to help them. He simply hovered, waiting for his dinner.

Nikita did her best to not drip everywhere. She gently laid her umbrella in a corner, and wiped at the rain on her face with her shirt. Not that it did anything, the fabric was just as drenched as her skin was. She sighed heavily, “No. The stupid stoplight went out near the highway and people are dumbasses.”

Michael gave her a look for her rash driving, yet she had gotten really good at ignoring it. Shaking his head, he opened some of the takeout containers, “Where’s the combination fried rice?”

“Yeah apparently their online menu is out of date and they don’t sell it anymore. So I just got chicken,” Nikita explained. She gave up on drying herself and neared the others. The bags and drinks had left a trail of water in their wake; she could too. It was just water, it would dry.

“Then why didn’t they tell us that when they first saw our order?” Dumping food unceremoniously on a plate, Birkhoff grumbled. They may have ordered online, but the restaurant could’ve called to correct their order. Then Nikita wouldn’t have had to drive all the way there and wait for new food.

Chopsticks, forks, and napkins were passed around before more food could be spilled on plates. With the limited lighting, they had to be careful not to spill. Who knew if they would be able to spot something if it fell to the floor. They were bound to step on it and make it worse. Nikita shoved extra napkins at a sloppy Birkhoff, shrugging, “I don’t know. I didn’t want to argue. Also the power kept surging and I just wanted to go home.”

“They didn’t have sprite either?” Alex wondered after a sip of her drink. She quickly amended her statement when she was thrown a glare, “Lemonade’s okay.”

“Babe, can you make me a plate while I change,” Nikita made her pout look extra pathetic to get Michael to agree. He was already working on it though, piling a dish high with her favorite choices.

She gave him a quick kiss. He accepted it, not caring about getting wet. Alex and Birkhoff’s quips were ignored. Nikita went bounding up the stairs, yet she didn’t get far. Michael called after her, “The power went out before your clothes could finish in the wash. But you can wear my sweats.”

It took all of Nikita’s might not to succumb to a tantrum. She was not having the best of luck that night. The others were smart in not commenting on it. They had all had one of those days. Once they finished making their plates, they decided to move to the living room. Most of the light was in there, and so was the fire. Michael, Alex, and Birkhoff fell into easy conversation while stuffing their faces. Soon, Nikita joined them a lot brighter than earlier. The dry clothes and her wet hair out of her face substantially improved her mood. She settled into Michael’s lap on the floor, digging into her dinner. Although he rolled his eyes, he didn’t move her. Alex’s phone buzzed with a message, interrupting whatever it was they were talking about. She read the text and laughed, “Amanda will throw us into war zones, but doesn’t want us coming in during a thunderstorm.”

“How’s it feel being a double agent again?” Michael smirked when a roll of thunder dwindled into nothing. 

“Weirdly natural,” Alex played along. It did feel as though they were falling back into their usual team dynamics, despite the nearly nuclear fallout that had occurred. She felt comfortable working with them to take down Division. Maybe it was something she was always meant to do.

A few more moments of mindless chatter past. The four were content eating and discussing nothing for a while. Birkhoff, of course, was the one to break through their moment, “So what do you wanna do while the power’s out? Play boardgames?”

“No,” Immediately, Alex and Nikita replied. Michael didn’t agree or disagree. He simply ate in peace. 

“Tell scary stories?” Birkhoff tried once more.

“No,” Somehow, the women replied in unison again.

“Truth or dare?” It was one last attempt by the nerd.

“No,” They were probably doing it to piss him off at that point, but they didn’t care.

“Are you going to say ‘no’ to everything?” Stifling his laughter, Michael inquired. If that was the case, he was prepared to settle in and watch Birkhoff’s torture commence. To him, that seemed like a great way to pass the time. 

“Yes,” While Nikita and Alex answered that time, Birkhoff whined. The other three couldn’t help but laugh at his expense; the giggles erupted and bubbled out of them. He huffed and rolled his eyes, yet cracked a small grin. He could manage to have fun, if they were. They worked together as a team, after all.

As the laughter died down, Birkhoff shoved his empty plate aside. He chugged some of his soda, fueling his burped out words, “Come on. Let’s just play a game.”

Whereas Nikita and Michael ignored his grossness, Alex swatted at him. It was Birkhoff’s turn to laugh at the rest of them. Nikita didn’t let it last long. Adding her own empty plate to the then growing pile, she had a suggestion for a game, “How ‘bout, I can make my boyfriend say ‘fuck’?” 

“What?” Puzzled, Michael glanced at her. She removed his empty dish and twisted in his arms, her lips next to his ear. She drew in a sharp breath, then screamed as shrilly and as loudly as she could. He instantly recoiled away from her, “Fuck!”

“See, truth or dare. We should just do that,” Through his giggles Birkhoff reiterated. 

“Fine. But no personal or embarrassing shit,” Alex gave into the idea after she could collect herself from her laughing fit.

Birkhoff rolled his eyes. He didn’t agree with her suggestion. The only way ‘truth or dare’ was fun was if they riled one another up. The best way to do that was to embarrass or to dig too deep into their thoughts and feelings, “Oh so the cowards way out.”

“I don’t know, Nerd. You wanna answer questions about your past,” Raising her eyebrow, Nikita called him on his bluff. He only wanted to mess with the others. She knew if the tables were turned on him, he’d fight back. 

That was the cost of knowing their teammates for so long. They could call you out on your bullshit. Birkhoff sighed, giving in, “Alright. We can refuse things. But don’t refuse too much, Mikey.”

“Why do you think I’m gonna do that?” Michael had recovered from the shock Nikita delivered to his eardrum, only to be teased. He was trying to wrap his head around the fact.

“‘Cause you’re a poopy pants,” Rocking back into him, Nikita flashed him a taunting grin. Michael retaliated for that and for the scream by ticking her side. She fought and squirmed, limbs kicking out against her will. Alex took in a frightened gasp at the jerking movements. Quickly, she reached out to catch a knocked over candle. Luckily, only wax spilled on the hardwood and not an ember. Michael and Nikita stilled, laughing. She jokingly berated him, “Michael, you almost set the house on fire.”

“Are we playing or not?” Birkhoff could only shake his head and roll his eyes at the two. Even a quiet night inside as a storm continued to beat their windows, was an adventure because of them. 

“Yeah, B. I dare you to shut up,” Ensuring the candles were farther away from Nikita, Alex quipped. 

He threw his hands up, more offended that she broke the rules of the game than her command, “That’s not how this works. I didn’t even make a choice.”

Nikita grinned slyly around her bottle of water, “She’s from Russia. She doesn't know how American games work.” 

“What the hell?” Alex moved to strike her. Although the four eventually played ‘truth or dare’, it was scattered between them squabbling and teasing. The rain and thunder only added to their noisiness. There was no such thing as quiet with them, and no such thing as peace. They were rowdy, stubborn, and defiant. How else was a bunch of rebels supposed to act. At least they loved and cared for one another enough to have fun no matter what.


	99. Chapter 99

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An AU set in season 2. Inspired by the Sean and Nikita are siblings AU, what-if they were raised together. I honestly couldn't get the idea out of my head, and I didn't know what else to write.

Nikita wasn’t one to get worked up. Usually, she could rationalize her actions and calm herself down. She could count on one hand the amount of times she had lost control of her emotions. Whenever that happened, she was able to separate herself from whatever it was that had its grip on her. Then, she could talk herself off of the ledge. Sometimes there was someone who could help her see reality again; that no matter what it was, she was alright. But she wasn’t so sure about that time. She wasn’t in that situation anymore, but she could still hear the screams. She wasn’t in that alley anymore, but she could still see those eyes. She was safe and sound in the safehouse’s bedroom, yet her senses continued to howl at the horror of it all.

Michael found her curled on the corner of the bed, changed out of the bloody mission clothes. They had already talked briefly about what happened. However, not in depth. Nikita couldn’t handle in depth yet. He knew, as he always did with her, and discussed Oversight instead. It was the easier subject. Or so he thought. She didn’t say anything in response, just let him drift closer to her. His body heat radiating next to her grounded her a moment. Where she was was real. It was constant, unlike anything else. She took in a steadying breath, and replied to his home comment. That was something she could do. She could focus on getting back home.

If the phrasing startled him, either the ‘back home’ or ‘living with herself’ part, he didn’t show it. Michael simply flashed her a smile, and cracked a self-deprecating joke. Nikita couldn’t help but to laugh along with him. He made it easy as he grabbed her hand and kissed her bare shoulder. They sat in silence for some time, neither moving from where they were. He continued to comfort her with tender kisses and caresses, while she stared off into nothing. Despite his lack of words, she was aware that he was dying to know what she was thinking. She just needed a couple more minutes before she could voice them.

“I shot Alex,” Eventually, Nikita mumbled. Michael nodded, kissing her shoulder again. The second he saw the blood on her, he demanded to know what occurred in that alley. Fear and panic shone brightly in his green eyes, so she didn’t delay with any ‘I’m fines’. She shared the facts of the fight with Alex that ended with a broken arm and a bullet to the leg. She rationalized it was a way to save her life, to make her get away from Division. But she was beginning to become terrified that that wasn’t necessarily the case, “I think… I think I did it because I was angry. She left and…”

“Hey no. No. That’s not true,” Michael was immediate to interrupt her. He was ready to dispel any of those thoughts from her mind. He knew Nikita wouldn’t do such a thing, not to Alex at least. The two were like sisters. He got her brown eyes to look at him, his words soft, “Did you shoot my shoulder 'cause you were angry with me? Or were you saving my life? Alex is confused and wants revenge. Division is her way out. It’s kinda scary how similar it is, huh.”

They had talked about revenge and Division before. And they had talked about doing anything to save their friends’ lives. Nikita knew Michael was right. She shouldn’t have been so hard on herself. She shouldn’t be so upset over Alex. She just couldn’t help it. After getting Alex clean, training her, and setting her out into the world, Nikita felt responsible for everything she did. Alex looked up to her, modeled herself after her. And then she was lost and hurt. She was her own person, but Nikita wanted to shoulder the blame. She did raise her a little. Far too easily, it felt as though she was slipping back into that older sister role.

She didn’t want to draw those parallels, yet it was difficult not to. Especially with him there. Nikita had seen him at the motel before the rescue drones and in the alley before fighting with Alex. At first she thought her mind was playing tricks on her. Alex had played them and they were pinned down by gunfire; she was panicking, hallucinating. Except, she saw him again. And he saw her. Those hazel eyes were wide with recognition and shock. The expression frightened her, mostly because she couldn’t make sense of it. Why was he there, if not for her. Why would he be involved with Division, if it wasn’t to sweep her under the rug again. That was how she had gotten recruited in the first place. 

Nikita could feel Michael’s green eyes piercing her. He could sense something else was the matter, she knew. And maybe she should tell him. She had to tell somebody. Nobody knew the truth besides her and whoever happened to be in charge of Division and Oversight at the time. She had to come clean; it was time to come clean. Yet after almost a decade of silence, she wasn’t sure if the words could be spoken- if the words wouldn’t get choked out in her throat. She had to try. For Michael, she had to at least attempt being honest, “Michael. I saw someone in that alley with Alex. Someone who shouldn’t have been there.”

“Who?” He was being patient with her. She knew it by the way he scooped her up in his arms and turned her to face him completely. The intense sincerity almost frightened Nikita off. She couldn’t remember the last time she could trust someone like that. Hell, she couldn’t remember the last time anyone wanted her trust like that. Most people she dealt with only wanted surface level trust, the kind that let you do their job and didn’t ask any questions. But Michael wanted more. He wanted her heart. Nikita had to remind herself that he was worth giving it to. He wasn’t going to run off and leave her out to dry.

“How do you think I got recruited by Division?” Instead of being straightforward, she took the cowards way out. It just seemed so appealing to her. She wanted to make it easier on herself. The more he knew beforehand, the less she had to explain. And the less she had to think over everything. She was tired of doing that, of letting the hurt take over her. It was time to make her peace and move on.

“I was told you were the same as everybody else. Just a bit more feisty,” Michael played along with her deflection, smiling slightly. Nikita had tried a couple of escape attempts when she was first brought in. And even after she knew there was no getting out, she fought back against instructors. She had always been defiant and against the rules, long before she went rogue. Although as her handler he was the one that had to rein her in, he always admired her for that tenacity. 

“Well, I did think I was kidnapped and being held for ransom. I mean, that’s the danger you face when you were adopted as a baby by a U.S Senator and a high ranking army official,” Nikita decided to drop the truth as though it were nothing. If she kept handling it like it was something breakable, it was going to break her. She needed to let go and deal with the fallout that was about to happen, one way or another. 

Michael short circuited for a brief second. What he had heard was slowly processing in his brain. Most kids in the program came from the streets or messed up homes. It was how they had gotten into the trouble Division found them in. His story was different, as he was searching for revenge. However, he never suspected her story to be as well. No one had told him otherwise, “What?”

Sighing, Nikita gave a quick explanation. They’d have time for better and more details later. She just had to get it out, “They already had twin girls when they took me home. And a couple years later they had a son. So I had some siblings that I was close to. And we were hanging out at our mom’s office, waiting to go to dinner one night. Naturally, we fooled around and got in trouble. So I snuck into the security office to erase the tape. But. I saw something I shouldn’t have.”

Her voice faltered and paused without her wanting it to. Michael noticed and moved closer to her on the bed. She was practically sitting in his lap, and their foreheads were brushing. His touch gave her the courage to swallow down the rest of her anxieties, “I saw a dirty dealing senator get killed by Division. Luckily, my mom knew about it. So instead of getting killed for being a witness, I was recruited. Good ol’ Percy told me that. My mom had my death faked and had me swept under the rug. Apparently she did the same thing when I was born. ‘Cause according to Amanda, I’m my father’s bastard child.”

“Why does this make sense?” Michael muttered after absorbing the information. When it came to the corrupt people they dealt with, what happened to her was sadly common. They had seen a lot of people do a lot of terrible things to keep their power. Hiding away a problem child was definitely on the table. Yet Michael continued past that. They would discuss her feelings over it when she wanted to. At the moment, she was telling him about the person she saw with Alex, “Wait. Then who did you see in the alley? Was it your mom?”

“No. I’m starting to think she’s Oversight, though. Who else has that kinda pull?” Nikita finally admitted out loud. The instant she discovered Oversight, the instant she suspected her adopted mother to be a part of it. If she was any other senator, Nikita would’ve been killed for what she had seen. But because Madeline Pierce ran Division, she was “saved”. 

“Oh,” Michael could easily follow that train of thought. He had been kept in the dark concerning most Division secrets. And for good reason. If he had discovered what Percy had been hiding, he would’ve lashed out and burned the place to the ground. Kind of like what he was doing at the moment. However, knowing what he does then, he really was ready to destroy anyone in charge of that damned place. 

“Yeah. And to deepen the family drama, I saw my brother. I saw Sean with Division, shooting at us,” That was the part Nikita couldn’t wrap her head around. She was still coming to grips with her adopted mother abandoning her to Division. She could blame most of that on not being able to process her emotions healthily (thanks, Amanda). Yet it was different with Sean. He didn’t seem to have been an agent. He looked like he was working with them on his own. She was terrified at what that could mean. 

“Does he know what happened? Did he know you were alive?” Gently running his hand over her back, Michael wondered. Nikita hadn’t really thought about what Sean knew. She had only been focused on the fact that he was there. It would’ve explained the shock in his eyes at the sight of her, though. And maybe he wasn’t working for Division. Maybe he was in the army like their dad, and was tasked with hunting down Merrick. That made more sense. That eased her racing mind. All she could do was shrug, however, and burrow into the warmth of Michael’s arms. 

“He does now.”


	100. Chapter 100

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set between seasons 2 & 3\. Inspired by some family fun.

“Who’s driving?” Birkhoff dangled the car keys in his hand after ensuring the full trunk closed. It was too early in the morning for him to even think about driving, even if it was his car. The heat and brightness of the early morning sun wasn’t helping either. 

“Me,” Both Michael and Nikita reached for the keys. Birkhoff held it out of their grasp as they stared each other down. His sleep might have been interrupted, but he could enjoy watching the two argue. Nikita decided to glare Michael into submission. She placed her hands on her hips and raised her eyebrow to make her point. She was stubborn and intimidating. Her stance had the power to let her have her way against anybody. 

But Michael wasn’t anybody. He had spent enough time with her to grow immune to her glares. For the most part anyway, “I don’t know about leadfoot over here, but I don’t wanna get pulled over for speeding.”

“Fine. You drive. I’ll just sit in the back,” Nikita smirked and slid into the driver’s side backseat, that way Michael couldn’t turn around and see her. He tried to change her mind, but Birkhoff was already handing him the keys and getting into the passenger’s seat. Alex sealed the deal by sluggishly climbing into the last seat and closing the door. Sighing, Michael accepted his fate. He got behind the wheel, starting the car and pulling out of the driveway. Nikita nudged slightly at the back of his seat just to annoy him. It was going to be a long drive.

They had decided to go camping. Between hiding in safehouses and shoved underground in Division, they needed some fresh air. They found a secluded area in upstate New York where they could set up camp, fish, hike, pretty much do whatever they wanted for the day. Surprisingly, no one made any complaints. Everyone agreed to drive up early so they could spend all day and night in the woods together. It was one of the few times they didn’t argue with one another, so they took it as a good sign. The team had saved the world, and had their chances at freedom. There was no way they were going to take that for granted. 

Birkhoff claimed control of the radio (it was the shotgun’s right), causing Nikita and Alex to take out their iPods. Ignoring them, Birkhoff turned the volume up. Michael just dealt with it as he focused on the road. Although there weren’t that many cars out, he was still driving down the highway. He had to be alert, and not give any attention to Nikita’s occasional kick at his seat. Eventually the kicks and quiet conversation in the back stopped. Birkhoff twisted around to check it out, and laughed, “How do they do that?”

Michael glanced in the rearview mirror. Nikita and Alex were dead asleep, their heads resting on one another’s and their mouths dropped open. He chuckled to himself. Those two were without a doubt cute and adorable. After making sure Birkhoff had gotten a picture, however, Michael wondered if he should ruin the moment, “Want me to wake ‘em up?”

Taking one more photo, Birkhoff nodded. Michael double checked the area for cars, then braked hard. The women snapped awake while the men laughed. Whereas Nikita very grumpily hit Michael’s seat again, Alex whined, “You’re mean. You’ve been mean since I met you.”

“I saved your life a couple of times,” As he accelerated back to the speed limit, Micheal flashed his trademark smirk. His green eyes caught Nikita’s brown in the rearview, and he gulped. If he thought her retaliation for his driving comment was annoying, he was going to be in a world of hurt for waking her up. 

“You called me a whore when I woke up in Division,” Rubbing sleep from her eyes, Alex groggily reminded him. She wasn’t harboring any resentment for that, it was just the first thing that came to her sleep addled mind. 

“He called me that too. He also said I needed to serve my country and not myself,” Maybe that was how Nikita was going to get him back, by making him remember how much of an asshole he was in Division. Michael could handle it if that was the case. He was aware of how much he had changed, especially with his team’s help. He was a far better man.

Alex was slowly but surely waking herself up. She removed her earbuds, and stretched as much as she could in the car, “Why do people keep telling me that? I’m not American.”

“I said the same thing to every recruit. It was like a script,” Michael defended himself. The self-imposed script made it easier for him whenever he had to talk to a new recruit. It kept him at a distance. He couldn’t get emotionally attached. Though he failed that task- twice. 

“So I’m not special?” Nikita somehow rested her chin on his shoulder. Michael couldn’t necessarily turn to see how, but he suspected her seatbelt had become undone. She placed a distracting kiss on his cheek while he was merging lanes. Although he was a skilled enough driver to not be disrupted by her, Birkhoff and Alex didn’t appreciate her attempt to disturb him. They pushed her back in her seat. She laughed. 

“I didn’t hear that speech,” Rolling his eyes, Birkhoff moved the conversation along. Sometimes, dealing with Nikita was like dealing with an annoying sibling. You ignored them enough, they would leave you alone.

“You weren’t recruited like everyone else,” Michael shrugged. He hadn’t been the one to talk to Birkhoff when he was first brought in, Percy was. That was just the rockstar hacker treatment.

Nikita shifted in the backseat so she could bring herself forward between Michael and Birkhoff. However, by doing so she was squishing against Alex. She pushed back, and the two were both on the edge of their seats between the men. With access to the radio in her new position, Nikita changed the station, “Nerd gets to be special but I don’t?”

“You almost killed some guards in your escape attempt. And Alex, you were a mole the whole time. Is that special enough for you?” Turning down the volume of whatever song Nikita had picked, Michael settled the argument. 

Never the one to back down, though, Nikita grinned wickedly, “No. I need more words of affirmation.”

“You’re setting up my tent,” Alex gave her condition a little more thought. Shaking his head, Michael sighed. Neither were difficult tasks, and both were reasonable. The women just knew how to keep him line. Well, Nikita knew; she simply passed the information along to Alex.

After taking the exit that would lead them to their campgrounds, Michael attempted to share some of the blame. He wasn’t the only one who was terrible inside Division. That place really knew how to bring out the worst in everyone, “You know, Birkhoff was mean to you guys too.”

“I got him back,” Alex emphasized by nudging Birkhoff. He tried to swat her off of him.

“He’s just cranky,” Nikita added to the Birkhoff abuse. Luckily, he managed to shove both of them back before they accidentally hit Michael. Alex’s phone vibrated in her pocket, distracting her from a second round of play fighting. Nikita peered over her shoulder to see what it was. Sean was just updating her on his whereabouts. While the four of them were stuck in a car with one another, the rest of their team had split up. Ryan and Sonya were traveling together because of car space. And Sean was going by himself because of Seal stuff. 

“Seanathan, don’t text and drive,” Replying to the message, Alex chastised out loud. The second the words left her mouth, she regretted them. Michael, Nikita, and Birkhoff erupted in laughter. 

“What did you just say?” Between giggles, Nikita wondered. Alex covered with a threatening ‘shut up’, yet it was of no use. Nikita was already giving her a shiteating grin, “Aw. Alexandra and Seanathan.”

“Michael called you ‘a cancer’,” It was a weak deflection, but Alex deployed it anyway. She’d do anything to take the attention off of herself and her budding relationship with Sean. 

“It’s okay. I called him a ‘dumb stupid sonofabitch’ to his face,” Nikita tried to grab the cellphone to read more texts between the two. However, Alex anticipated the move and shoved her phone between her legs. No one was going to reach for it there.

“We’ve had our ups and downs,” Shrugging, Michael admitted. They had talked at length and moved on. There was no use getting dragged back down by their past.

“You three are so weird,” Birkhoff’s words earned him some shouts and some shoves- he was one to talk. It didn’t take them much longer to get to the campground. They parked and unloaded, continuing to tease and joke. The four of them were laughing uproariously at something someone had said by the time they joined Ryan and Sonya. 

Although the two had only been there for ten minutes, they had made quick work of setting up their tents. Sonya was the first to spot the others and smirked, “You’re late.”

“Thought you had a ‘need for speed’,” Ryan added on. Michael, Nikita, Alex, and Birkhoff shot back with their own teases. The team worked together constructing the rest of camp and collecting sticks and kindling for the fire when it got dark. They were already enjoying the fresh crisp air and wide spaces. Some of them had begun to play around with each other, as another one of their campers joined them. 

“Technically Sean was the last to arrive. So he’s the late one. Hurry up slowpoke,” Alex jogged over to Sean, beaming. He rolled his hazel eyes and dropped his pack on the ground. 

“Yeah yeah. If Owen gets our message and decides to show up, then I’m not late at all,” His rebuttal fell on deaf ears. The rest of the group joined in on poking fun of his tardiness. It soon passed, however, when they found better things to talk about. The team- the family- spent their day and night in joy and laughter. They enjoyed their free time spent together doing absolutely nothing and relaxing. Their happily ever after was within reach, and it looked bright and awesome.

The End 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit. I wrote 100 one shots. I owe it all to my readers. This started out as the need to write down a joke I shared with my friend about spies and birthcontrol. And it grew into 100 stories, M rated fics, and multi chapters I'm going to start writing. I just want to say thank you one last time, because you guys really made this all worth it. I couldn't have done it without you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, really. :)


End file.
